Recovery & Tough Love

Full Summary: Buffy Summers, Slayer prodigy, has made a home in San Francisco, California returning to her birth country. After the disasterous and sucky year of Twilight, she now struggles to put together her life and seek normalcy(as much as a Slayer can anyway). All the while, she deals with the consequences of destroying the Seed and the loss of magic as a result. To add to more turmoil, Buffy's best friend/witch Willow is obsessed with returning magick to the world and Buffy's friends distance themselves from her. Even ever-faithful Spike left her, leaving her in a period of isolation. But to add insult to injury, Buffy falls upon a startling revelation: Angel, Buffy's ex (who she currently has a very complicated relationship following the end of magic) is obsessed with resurrecting Rupert Giles, the man he had killed in a possessed state and who was her beloved watcher/father-figure. Mixed emotions conflicting inside her, Buffy reluctantly pays a visit to Angel and fellow Slayer Faith after several months of separation. Her motivation: To stop Angel from making the wrong choices ... to the point of no return.

Main Pairings: Since I truly have no flipping clue if Buffy still loves Angel after murdering Giles right in front of her in the finale of Season Eight(Thanks, Joss. Love the ambiguity), I'm not gonna say Buffy loves Angel in this. Angel's feelings will be outright stated('Cause at least I know his feelings) but Buffy's will be ambigious. Bangel will be the main relationship in this though. Take it anyway you want: Friendship, Romance. Whatever. However, it's a canonical fact that Buffy does still care for him which is why I know this one-shot will not seem out of character. Implied Spuffy, Buffy/Giles bond(paternal), and Fuffy(Complicated/strained friendship).

Timeline: Because my musie wanted to, it's set after the Angel & Faith arc Family Reunion and Buffy Season 9 story arc Guarded. Now I know the story arc isn't even on Part 3 yet at the time I publish this but what can I say? I brainstormed, I wrote :P. And for those of you fans who do not count the comics, you're in denial. Joss Whedon is the Executive Producer, ergo they count :P.

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Buffy or anything Buffyverse-related. If I did, Angel would not have killed Giles, Angel would learn from his damn mistakes and not get worse like Joss is currently portraying him, Fred would still be alive, and so many other things that happened wouldn't have. It's too long for me to list in one disclaimer the things I would like to change XD.

A/N: It truly surprises me how little fanfics are written that take place in the comic seasons. I wonder if it's because people don't know about them or just hate them? Anyway, here's my story. Like it or hate it :D. My inspiration for this was my pent up frustration that Buffy is not helping Angel from the path he's on yet which I truly think only she can save him from. Faith tries but come on. She's no Buffy.

Constructive critizism is welcomed :)

Recovery & Tough Love

What the hell was she doing? Was she nuts? Setting herself up for more heartbreak and pain? 'As if I don't have enough of that.' Buffy thought moodily, throwing her bag on the chair in irritation. Knowing her and her dazzling life that continued to surprise her at every turn, she probably was setting herself up for more pain. Somehow, she always was. 'What the hell am I doing?' Buffy questioned, rubbing her temples in frustration. 'This will in no way go well.' Buffy knew this with a certainty. But somehow, she was now on a plane. Alone. Travelling to the last place she wanted to go. Or at least that's what she told herself.

London, England. 'Home of scones, Oxford, and uptight, tweed-jacket wearing guys.' Buffy huffed inwardly, failing to lighten her mood with her glib and wit. Buffy took on a thoughtful expression, putting her hand under her chin on reflex. 'Ooh and tea! Can't forget tea.' But at that wandering, mostly random thought, Buffy felt nostalgia and grief tighten her insides painfully. Giles always drank tea. It was like his british version of aspirin or something. She sighed, blinking back the tears she refused to let fall. 'Don't be Cry Buffy. You've done enough of crying for like ... your whole life.' Buffy chastied herself. She missed Giles more than words could even describe. He was like her rock, her anchor when times where hard. But then again, all her friends were at one point. 'But like everyone else, they just leave .. or realize something was wrong with me.' Buffy could not shake off the depressing feeling of loneliness and incompetence that she's felt for years. Okay, maybe she was being a little petty and whiny. But petty and whiny Buffy was what she wanted to be right now.

Willow was off trying to bring magick back, alone without her help. Which served as a constant reminder of her decision to destroy the seed. Willow insisted to her that was never angry with her, but Buffy could not truly believe her friend's words. Willow was her best friend and she trusted her but Buffy also knew how gentle the witch was. She could have easily been trying to spare her feelings of guilt by telling her so. Xander ... well she didn't really know what to think of him. He's been avoiding her for so long. Sure she saw him once and while but he seemed ... distant. Buffy frowned. 'Come to think of it, he's really testy lately. Like 'vaguely Jekyel and Hyde' testy. Dawnie's been saying so too.' Buffy sighed loudly and buried her face in her hands, too immersed in her own thoughts to recall she was even on a airplane. 'All of this started ever since the Seed. They won't admit it but they all blame me for this! Why can't they understand? I was trying to save the world ... again.' Buffy thought in dismay, feeling utterly lost.

Only Spike understood. 'And his name brings up another can of worms I didn't want to touch on tonight. Or ever, actually. As if Angel's bad enough.' Buffy wanted her bleak, depressing thoughts to just go away but they were stubborn. They stood fixed in her mind like cobwebs, refusing to leave. Forcibly they fixed on Spike. Even Spike, the one person she felt she could always count on when she needed someone ... leaves her. Like Angel before him. Part of her couldn't blame him. She spend so much time trying to keep a distance between them him but come to him when she needed someone to lean on. 'Without even really knowing I was, I guess I have been jerking him around, as he so eloquently put it.' Buffy acknowledged sadly. Deep down, she knew him leaving was for the best. For him, anyway. But the other part of her, the selfish part, missed him terribly. When he left San Franciso, her mind had been screaming at her to stop him. To beg him to stay so she wouldn't be alone. But she couldn't. For Spike's sake ... she just couldn't. 'Even Spike deserves someone better than me. Not Miss-Indecisive-Always-Taking-Advantage-Girl.' Buffy could admit that, no matter how much it hurt. She knew Spike loved her and cared for her. She cared for him too and she knew she loved him. She had meant it when she told him that. But the question that always remained was she actually in love with him? Spike didn't seem to think so but what did he know? Buffy's brow furrowed. That was one question she could never answer. Not since he got his soul for her. Buffy groaned in frustration. She wish she knew what she wanted from him, but it still escaped her after all these years.

And finally, her whirlwind of thoughts(which she assumed was from boredom sitting in a hours-long flight) rested on the taboo word/person she had tried her best to not think about over the several months. Did she succede? Not completely but she found out she was very good at repressing. 'That's one of my best assets, after all. Repress and put on a fake cheery face.' Buffy pointed out, slightly proud of that ability. Over the years, she had done that so many times: When Angel lost his soul, when she sent Angel to Hell once returning to Sunnydale, Angel breaking up with her, Getting ripped out of Heaven(Okay, not her best repressing act but it worked a little right?), Spike burning up, Giles's death, and yes Angel completely. 'Angel seems to be the case of a lot of my repressing.' Buffy noted, slightly surprised. Her friends were able to almost believe she was fine and that she was over what happened. 'Lies but whatever stops them from worrying.' Buffy conceded. Her friends had their lives to live. They shouldn't be worrying about her.

'Angel.' Buffy felt her heart constrict with so many different emotions. Sadness was one of the major ones, followed by anger. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't mad at him. She was. In fact, she was pissed off as hell towards him, for more than one reason. It was because of his stupidness that Giles had gotten killed but she never could find it in her to blame him completely for that. Not like her friends, who had immediately cast the entire blame on him. 'It's my fault, too. If I've been stronger, I wouldn't have let that dumb Twilight glow take advantage of my feelings. None of this would have happened. Or if I had somehow stopped Giles from going towards the seed, Angel wouldn't have ...-" Buffy shook her head abruptly, unable to finish her train of thought. Truthfully, she knew the anger was covering up her true emotions. The truth was she was worried about him, but also disapointed. To Buffy's frustration, she knew she still cared for him. More than she could admit to herself. She knew that with such painful clarity but her emotions was so conflicting she could not tell if she was still in love with him. ' Why me. Why can't I for once, not be some crazy nutcase when it comes to my own feelings.'

Angry with her own confusing heart, she put her head in the pillow on the airplane chair, resisting the urge to scream into it. She was in public after all and something that embarassing would be the death of her. 'I know Angel's little plan. Could he be so careless?! Resurrecting Giles? I have to stop him. Save him .. somehow. I know Faith promised me she'd take care of it but I can't do nothing anymore. Angel needs help, more than what she could offer.' With a steely determination and anxiety battling inside her, she decided to attempt to sleep. Unsurprisingly, little sleep came.

Hours later

Buffy stood in front of the Giles's estate in the nightime air, not helping herself from looking at in awe. 'Wow. A guy like him ... owning this place. You'd never think he lived here back when he was a slacker.' Buffy thought, remembering a time when Giles had been a deadbeat, unemployed librarian after she blew up Sunnydale High. Fired from the Watcher's Council, he had pretty much no direction. But her brief moments of wonder were abruptly squashed when reality came calling. Buffy felt the familar sorrow pierce her heart as she remembered the last time she had been here. Giles had handed over everything he owned to Faith, even horses in his will. Buffy still felt fresh grief and failure hit her as she relived that terrible memory, Giles only leaving her the Vampyr book. 'True Slayer, huh?' Buffy scoffed bitterly, recalling Faith's words to her when she handed her the book. 'Some great Slayer I've turned out to be.' Buffy thought cynically.

Pushing the terrible feelings aside, Buffy walked up slowly towards the door. Anixety builded up inside her, trying to brace herself for the inevitably painful reunion she was about to go through. 'Maybe I should just leave.' Buffy hedged briefly. 'No! I have to do this. Angel needs me. Come on, don't be a scaredy cat. Be fearless Buffy.' Mustering up her resolve and courage before she lost again altogether, she rapped strongly on the front door.

It was silence for several seconds. 'Come on! Hurry up and answer! Since when is silence this loud!' Buffy thought angrily, her impatience quickly getting better of her. Finally, she heard the door move heavily and slowly. Instantly, her anxiety returned in huge uncomfortable knots, feeling almost every emotion.

The person in front of her made her feel guiltily relieved and the tenseness in her body automatically disappeared. 'Oh. Just her.' Buffy sighed quietly at that, finally thinking she could handle this.

"B! What're you doing you here?!" claimed a sultry, shocked voice of her greatest frenemy.

A/N: This story will be pretty short compared to my first one. A few chapters at most. But I really love this idea XD. Helps me surrive the long period of ambigious Buffy feelings for Angel :D. I would love to hear your thoughts in reviews on how I did the characters or just support would be great :)

I'm pretty proud of this chapter :P.