Okay, so an explanation is probably in order as this definitely isn't my usual sort of fic. I got a bit bored one evening with no internet and this happened. I'm not sure where it came from, but here it is.

Big Brother + (Movieverse!Avengers + Doctor Who + HIMYM + Percy Jackson + Harry Potter + Sherlock) = Fandom Big Brother!

2 housemates are selected from each fandom and compete to win Big Brother by completing tasks and nominating each other for evictions. Who will come out on top? Who will be the first to go? You decide by voting in the comments!

'Are you ready to meet your first housemate?' cried the artificial host of Big Brother. The waiting crowd cheered and waved as the camera panned to the frozen form of a man. The man had black hair and a smartly shaven beard, he wore an old school Metallica t-shirt and jeans. Through the t-shirt a glowing circular light could be seen. 'Let's wake him up!'

The man in the pristine white tube within the iconic Big Brother house began to wake. His eyelids fluttered. The tube hissed as it depressurised, releasing Tony Stark from its clutches.

He fell forward onto his knees as he adjusted. The roar of the crowd increased.

'Ladies and gentlemen! Meet your first housemate – Tony Stark!'

Tony's head lifted at the sound of his name. 'Housemate? What? Where am I?'

'You are in the Big Brother house Tony!' the AI cried to the joy of the crowd. 'I am your host D.A.V.I.N.A! You are live on Channel 500, please do not swear!'

The voice was definitely artificial intelligence; it had the same quality that J.A.R.V.I.S's voice had.

'I won't if you don't,' Stark murmured, getting to his feet. He was in a plain white room, containing a single, large, black chair. Opposite the chair, a glowing blue eye blinked. The tube he had been locked in had vanished.

'Tony, please take a seat on the Diary Room chair.' The AI asked. Tony sat. 'Tell us a bit about yourself Tony.'

He could hear crowd noise. 'What can I say? I'm Iron Man, a successful businessman and all round great guy!' He grinned, doing his standard press greeting. 'Well, that last bit's probably not true. Why am I here?'

'To win!' D.A.V.I.N.A cheered. 'Before you enter the house you can choose one item from back home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

Tony pretended to think about it. 'Well my coffee machine for one.'

'Done! Welcome to the house Tony!'

'Wait! That was a joke!' Tony pleaded as the door to his right slid open. 'My suit! My Iron Man suit! That's what I want!'

'You chose your coffee machine Tony, now please enter the house.'

'But I don't want the coffee machine.'

'Then Big Brother shall remove it from the house.'

'No! Fine, I'll keep the coffee machine,' he grumbled as he left the Diary Room. He found himself in a very modern living space. 'What the…'

He stepped forward onto a spongy black carpet. Everything was minimalist, just like in the Diary Room. The long sofas were monochrome, there weren't many walls, and the walls that were there were mirrored. The door Tony had just stepped through hissed shut. A flashing image of an eye blinked once beside the door.

The living room extended out to the kitchen, also monochrome in detail. Tony's coffee machine was beside the tall onyx and silver fridge.

'Well at least there's good coffee,' he consoled himself. Next, he checked out the bedroom: a large space filled by 12 beds, another door leading off to a spacious bathroom with a power shower and Jacuzzi bath. Back in the kitchen/living room space Tony checked out a large expanse of opaque glass that he assumed blocked the view of the garden space.

He threw himself down on the sofa, trying to figure out what was going on.

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Ladies and gentlemen, your second housemate – Natasha Romanoff!'

The red-headed woman sprung to her feet, head and hair flicking from side to side as she tried to take in her surroundings. Not that there was all that much to take in, she realised, observing the sparse room.

'Welcome to the Big Brother house Natasha! I am your host D.A.V.I.N.A! You are live on Channel 500, please do not swear!'

Natasha Romanoff stood silently to the side of the black chair, trying to work out what had happened for her to get to that place. Had she been drugged? Unlikely, as someone would have to have got her in that position in the first place. She was still wearing the same red dress she had worn on her latest mission.

'Natasha, please take a seat on the Diary Room chair.' The voice requested.

'And if I don't?' the deadly spy asked, eyeing the chair with an arched eyebrow.

'Natasha, please take a seat on the Diary Room chair.' The voice repeated. Natasha reluctantly sat. 'Tell us a bit about yourself Natasha.'

There wasn't much about her life she could say without breaking several international security codes.

'I'm good at gymnastics,' she settled on after a few moments of thought. She had decided to wait and see how the situation would play out. The AI obviously knew a fair bit about her given that it knew her real name.

'Thank you Natasha! Before you enter the house you can choose one item from home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

Natasha thought for a while, 'a gun.'

The AI hesitated. 'Big Brother is sorry to say that no offensive weaponry is permitted in the Big Brother house, Natasha. Please choose another item.'

It had been worth a shot (excuse the pun), but the point was that Natasha Romanoff didn't have many personal possessions that were of value to her. It was dangerous to have too many anchors in her line of work. But Natasha did have one.

'There's a picture I have. The only picture I have really,' she admitted.

'Done!' the AI chimed. 'Welcome to the house Natasha!'

The panelled door to her right slid open. Natasha left the Diary Room, stepped onto the black living room carpet, and stared. Sat on the sofa before her was none other than Tony Stark.

'Agent Romanoff,' he said, seemingly unsurprised. 'Well it was either you or Legolas coming through that door, judging by this picture that just zapped onto the coffee table.'

Stark held in his hand a small silver picture frame. Natasha grabbed the frame from his hand and removed the picture from it in one fluid motion. It was a picture of her and Clint. They had been undercover in the Caribbean, but that didn't mean they couldn't have some fun while they were there. No one else had seen that picture and now Tony Stark had just got a good look.

She slipped the picture into her dress and placed the frame back down onto the table.

'Where are we?' she asked Stark. Aside from the vast number of cameras around the room, there was nothing unusual to comment on.

'I've no idea really,' Stark admitted. 'The AI, D.A.V.I.N.A, says this is the Big Brother house, a little George Orwell don't you think? But judging by the accent of the AI I'd say Britain perhaps.'

Romanoff nodded. 'Is there anyone else here?'

'Nope, just us two.' Natasha wished Big Brother had let her have that gun. 'But there are 12 beds in the other room, so I assume we'll be having company.'

Natasha slipped off her heeled shoes and curled up on the sofa, the furthest end from Stark.

'But who's our company?'

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Welcome to the Big Brother house Doctor! I am your host D.A.V.I.N.A! You are live on Channel 500, please do not swear!'

'You have got to be kidding me!' The Doctor groaned, getting to his feet. He brushed himself down, batting any fluff from his checked shirt, trousers, braces, jacket, hair and bow-tie.

'Doctor, please take a seat on the Diary Room chair.'

The Doctor settled down on the large chair. 'This is actually quite comfortable,' he acknowledged, 'but that's not the point. The point is – how are you still running? I shut you down twice.'

'Tell us a bit about yourself Doctor.'

The Doctor scrutinised the blue eye on the wall in front of him.

'Very well, if you must know. I'm a time-lord, but more of the travelling kind than the justice and ruling. I should write a book about it really, I love a good book. 1984 – that's a good book – you should read that one Big Brother. Good year as well. Did you know that was the year the one dollar coin was introduced in Australia?'

'Thank you Doctor!' The AI interrupted. 'Before you enter the house you can choose one item from home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

'From home? That would be difficult. Hmmm… the T.A.R.D.I.S.'

'Big Brother is sorry, Doctor, but you cannot bring a sentient object into the house. Please choose another item.'

'My sonic screwdriver?'

'Big Brother is sorry to say that no offensive weaponry is permitted in the Big Brother house, Doctor. Please choose another item.'

'Offensive weapon?' the Doctor objected. 'It's a screwdriver. You know, for putting up shelves, just a little more sonic. It's about as dangerous as a jammy dodger! Well…'

'Please choose another item.'

The Doctor sighed, running a hand through his thick brown hair. 'Fine. My special straw – it adds more fizz.'

'Done! Welcome to the house Doctor!' The door to his right slid open and he stepped through it.

On the sofa in front of him sat two people, both watching him – a black haired man and a red-headed woman.

'Hello!' said the Doctor in his most winning voice. 'So you're my fellow housemates eh? I'm the Doctor by the way.' The Doctor bounded over to the pair and shook their hands.

'Now what's that you've got there?' The Doctor caught sight of the glow in the centre of the man's chest and tapped it. 'Ooh, that's clever, much better than a palladium core, lots of people go for that but it's just not that efficient long term.'

'Tony Stark,' the man introduced himself. 'This is Natasha Romanoff. Do you know why we're here?'

'Aha! I was right!' clapped the Doctor, bouncing away from Stark. 'This isn't a standard Big Brother that I've been kidnapped into – something must be bringing us together for some reason.' He spun around on the spot, muttering to himself. 'Last time I was on Big Brother it was to stop the Daleks. I wonder if they're here again…' He rifled through possibilities in his head.

'What exactly are you a doctor of?' Natasha asked the eccentric man.

'Oh, I dunno, a little bit of this, a little bit of that,' he replied vaguely.

'So what's your name? Doctor what?'

'Just "The Doctor", that's what people call me anyway. Don't people ever call you by something other than your names?' The Doctor asked. They both nodded.

'Iron Man, manipulative bitch,' Tony pointed to himself and Natasha.

'Black Widow, egotistical asshole,' she retorted.'

'Ooh, I like those! Not the second ones though, they're a bit insulting. But the first ones are catchy. I like Black Widow, it sounds cool and dangerous.'

Natasha raised an eyebrow, 'I've been described as dangerous before.'

'And as a manipulative bi-' Tony began, but the Doctor interrupted.

'Ooh! My special straw!' he leaped over to the kitchen and fished a straw from a container of whisks and spatulas. Natasha and Tony stared. 'It adds more fizz,' the Doctor lamely explained.

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Ladies and gentlemen, your fourth housemate – Martha Jones! Welcome to the Big Brother house Martha! I am your host D.A.V.I.N.A! You are live on Channel 500, please do not swear!'

The dark-skinned, dark-haired woman, dressed casually in skinny jeans and a vest top stared. 'No way.'

'Martha, please take a seat on the Diary Room chair.'

Martha carefully lowered herself onto the seat. 'How am I here Big Brother? I thought you had to audition.'

'That rule was scrapped ages ago Martha!' D.A.V.I.N.A told her joyfully, 'now anyone can be selected for the house! Now, tell us a bit about yourself.'

'Uhm, okay. I'm a doctor of Medicine, I'm from London, and I recently got married.' She had kept her maiden name though.

'Congratulations Martha! Before you enter the house you can choose one item from home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

'My mobile?'

'Big Brother is sorry, Martha, but no contact can be made with the outside world. Please choose another item.'

'I didn't think that rule had changed,' she sighed, twisting her wedding ring on her finger. 'There is one thing, it's more for sentiment really, but there's a knitted blanket Mickey got for me-'

'Done!' D.A.V.I.N.A announced before Martha could finish. 'Welcome to the house Martha!' The door to her right opened, but before she left the Diary Room, Martha had a message for the glowing eye on the wall.

'This is so close to my worst nightmare.'

She left the room. There were three people in the house: a man and a woman on the sofa, and another man looking through cupboards in the kitchenette.

'It's like Old Mother Hubbard's here! Lovely woman th-oh!' The man in the bow-tie stopped talking abruptly when he spotted Martha. 'Martha Jones.'

'You two know each other as well?' the black haired guy on the sofa asked, looking between bow-tie guy and Martha.

'No,' Martha said, confused by how the guy knew her name. Unless…

'Sort of, well, I know her but she… long story.'

Martha took a step forward onto the soft carpet. 'Doctor?'

He nodded.

'So you two do know each other?' the sofa guy was confused. With good reason. The red-head watched quietly.

'You regenerated. I did wonder after we saw you. We called after you, but you just kept walking.'

The Doctor nodded, breaking into a smile. 'How is Ricky?'

Martha cracked half a smile. 'Good.' She flashed the ring on her finger.

'Very good I imagine,' the Doctor grinned with a raise of his eyebrows.

'Do you get the feeling we're in the middle of a reunion?' Sofa-guy asked the red head. 'Sorry to interrupt, but we've not been properly introduced. This lovely lady is Natasha Romanoff, and I'm Tony Stark.' Tony offered his hand to Martha. 'And I'm guessing this colourful blanket belongs to you.'

Martha picked up the woollen throw that was on the arm of the sofa. 'Doctor Martha Jones,' she said, shaking Tony's hand.

'God, everyone's a doctor here. Well, you're not Smirnoff, but you're still fluent in a hundred and three languages or whatever.' Stark shrugged at Natasha, 'two masters from MIT. I should have done a PhD.'

Natasha ignored Stark. 'So you're an actual doctor, not a doctor of "this and that"?' she asked Martha.

'Mhm, fully qualified doctor of Medicine. Letters after my name and everything.' Martha took a seat on the arm of the sofa. 'So what are your actual names?'

Tony looked surprised. 'Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't we just been through this, literally just been through the introductions? Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, The Doctor, also-a-doctor Martha Jones.' He pointed to each of them in turn.

Martha shook her head, 'I've got a younger brother – he used to read loads of comics. Tony Stark is Iron Man, Natasha Romanoff is Black Widow.'

Stark nodded, 'yeah, that's us.'

'Comic books?' Natasha asked.

'They're like magazines that tell stories in pictures and speech bubbles rather than block text,' Tony explained. 'Do they not have those in Soviet Russia? Or in Soviet Russia do they have you?'

Natasha rolled her eyes, evidently used to Stark's teasing. 'I was more concerned about how the two of us are in comic books, Stark. It might not affect you much but my identity is at least confidential.'

'Oh!' they all jumped as the Doctor cried out. 'Now that would be very clever. Very dangerous, but very clever.'

'What, Doctor?' Martha asked.

'Alternate universes merging together in this house. In one universe – yours for example – Tony and Natasha exist as fictional comic book characters, but in another universe – theirs – they're real people. What other characters are there in your brother's comics?'

Martha thought for a few seconds, 'Captain America, the Hulk, Spiderman, Batman, Superman.'

'Capsicle, Banner, Parker,' Tony nodded, 'Wayne and Kent are still comics in our world. No dice Doc.'

'Wait, Spiderman is Marvel comics right? But isn't Superman DC Comics?' The other three stared at Martha. 'Right, no point asking you lot.'

'Hmm… if you're right Martha…' the Doctor thought as a box of Cuban cigars materialised beside Natasha's empty photo frame on the coffee table.

'Well whoever's coming next has good taste.' Tony commented.

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Done! Welcome to the house Robin!'

'Um, thanks?' the brunette Canadian said, poking her head out of the Diary Room door.

Robin Scherbatsky's box of cigars were on the coffee table, around which two men and two women were sat.

'Agent Hill?' The red-headed woman stood up, staring at Robin. She wore a red dress that Robin would have killed for. But Robin didn't know why the woman was calling her "Agent Hill".

'Excuse me?' Robin said, rather nervously. 'I'm Robin Scherbatsky. I just woke up in that room and the voice kept saying "Big Brother" and I've no idea how I got here.'

'Join the club,' the dark haired man in a Metallica t-shirt said, getting to his feet beside the red-head. 'What did you say your name was?'

'Robin Scherbatsky.'

'And what do you do Robin?'

'I'm a news reporter for World Wide News,' she was still wearing the blouse, trousers and blazer that she had worn at work.

'Great job that. Now tell me, do you have any relatives who look extremely similar to you? They may be very secretive, maybe even in the espionage business.'

'What? No, I'm an only child and there's no one else who looks like me, well, except lesbian Robin, but I don't think th- wait, why are you asking me this?'

'It's not her Stark,' the red-head said.

'You're sure?'

'It's my job to know when people are lying – yes, I'm sure.' She sat back down on the sofa, folding her legs beneath her.

'Okay then, introductions – Robin, I'd like you to meet Natasha Romanoff,' the red head, 'Martha Jones,' the dark-skinned woman smiled. 'The Doctor,' the man in a bow-tie waved, 'and I'm Tony Stark.'

'Hi,' Robin waved back.

'Come and take a seat Robin,' Tony patted the seat between himself and Martha. 'These your cigars? Great taste, I've got a box myself, at home of course.'

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Tell us a bit about yourself Barney,' the voice of D.A.V.I.N.A urged.

The suited up blond man in the chair grinned excitedly. 'Well, for any ladies out there, I'm actually a doctor. Indeed, I am in fact Chief of Surgery at Washington General-'

'Thank you Barney! Before you enter the house you may choose one thing from home to take in with you. Choose wisely.'

'My stormtrooper,' Barney said immediately.

'Done! Welcome to the house Barney!'

'Thanks Big Brother!' Barney said with a wink and a wave, heading out the open door.

The first thing he saw upon exiting the Diary Room was a rather attractive red head in a tight red dress, pouring herself a glass of water. She caught sight of Barney.

'Hey, what's your name?' she asked. 'I'm Natasha.'

Barney grinned, this was his sort of house – minimalist, with a stormtrooper in the corner, a plasma screen TV and a hot red head called Natasha.

'Doctor Barney Stinson, Surgeon General of Wash-'

'Do you ever not lie to women Barney?' a group of people had just exited the room to Barney's left, among them, to Barney's surprise, was his ex-girlfriend Robin Scherbatsky.

'Robin?'

'You two know each other as well? I'm the Doctor by the way,' a man in the most appalling suit Barney had ever seen (it even had a bow tie) introduced himself. 'So we're arriving in pairs it seems, male and female.'

'So whatever it bringing us here already knows something about us all. What is this Big Brother thing anyway? What's the point of it?' A black haired man asked the room.

'You're kidding? Do they not have anything like this in America?' a dark-skinned British woman asked.

'They do,' Tony nodded, 'I just don't watch it.'

'It's a reality show. 3 months in a house with no privacy and fame for the winner! How awesome is that!' Barney was an avid watcher of each season.

'But I'm already famous, in my universe at least.'

'Really? I've never seen you before,' Robin observed.

'Ouch Sherbert,' Tony acted pained, 'that's why I said in my universe.'

'It's Scherbatsky.'

'We haven't introduced ourselves yet,' the British woman reminded the other four. 'I'm Doctor Martha Jones.'

'An actual doctor,' Robin smirked.

'This is The Doctor, Natasha Romanoff and Tony Stark. You already know Robin.'

'Barney Stinson.'

'Nice to meet you Barney. We were just taking a look around the bedroom if you'd like to see it?'

Barney grinned. 'Only if Natasha over there will join me,' he winked. Natasha raised an eyebrow.

Tony reached over and placed a hand on Barney's Armani-clad shoulder. 'She'd eat you for breakfast. Nice suit by the way.'

From atop the kitchen counter Natasha eyed Barney coolly.

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Is this a trap? Who set it? Aphrodite? Circe?'

'Annabeth, this is Big Brother. Please tell us a bit about yourself.' The AI voice asked for the third time.

The young blonde girl, in an orange t-shirt with beads around her neck, had been demanding answers for the past few minutes.

'Is it Hephaestus? I've done nothing to offend him. Is it my mother? Is this because I've been looking for Percy? Oh my gods, is this Hera?'

Big Brother had evidently given up trying to get an answer to the question.

'Thank you Annabeth! Before you enter the house you may choose one item from home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

'Then I can get out of this room?'

'Yes, Annabeth.'

'My cap.' She demanded.

'Done! Welcome to the house Annabeth!' Annabeth Chase stormed out of the door to her right before it had even fully opened.

Before her, in a spacious living space, a crowd of six people were gathered. They were all older than Annabeth, being only seventeen years old. She caught sight of her cap hanging on a lamp, she picked it up and twisted it in her hands, trying to think of a plan.

A red headed woman approached Annabeth. Annabeth tensed – the woman reminded her of Aphrodite and could very well be the goddess in disguise.

The woman had obviously noticed Annabeth's change in posture. 'Let's get the introductions out of the way first,' she said. 'I'm Natasha Romanoff, this is Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Tony Stark, Martha Jones, and The Doctor. What's your name?'

'Annabeth Chase.'

'Nice to meet you Annabeth.'

'Where am I?'

Each of the other six housemates launched into an explanation.

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Ladies and gentlemen, your eighth housemate – Grover Underwood! Welcome to the Big Brother house Grover! I am your host D.A.V.I.N.A! You are live on Channel 500, please do not swear!'

'Baa!' said the curly haired boy with horns and cloven hooves in his nervousness.

'Grover, please take a seat in the Diary Room chair.' Grover placed his shaggy hindquarters on the large black seat, glancing around the starch white room.

'Tell us a bit about yourself Grover,' the voice ordered.

'Uhm, I'm a satyr,' he began, given that his horns and hooves were uncovered from when he had been searching for his best friend Percy Jackson, he thought he might as well be honest. Speaking of Percy, Grover couldn't feel his empathy link. 'What's happened to me? Why can't I feel Percy's link?'

The glowing eye blinked once.

'Thank you Grover! Before you enter the house you may choose one item from home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

Grover thought for a moment. 'My reedpipes.'

'Done! Welcome to the house Grover!' Grover hopped to his hooves and left the Diary Room.

'Grover!' someone called his name.

'Annabeth? What's going on here?'

'Woah, so we've got Mr Tumnus here now?' a bearded guy with a glowing chest asked.

'Oh my God he's got horns!' a blond dude gasped.

'Ooh a faun!' a bow-tied bloke exclaimed.

'I'm a satyr!' Grover snapped.

'Everyone just shut up!' Annabeth yelled. The six adults went quiet. 'Yes, Grover's a satyr. Yes, he has horns and hooves and eats soda cans, but-'

'He eats soda cans?'

'He's my best friend.' Annabeth continued. 'So deal with it.' She glared at each of them in turn.

'Okay blondie,' beardo agreed.

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Welcome to the Big Brother house Draco! I am your host D.A.V.I.N.A! You are live on Channel 500, please do not swear!'

The pale boy with pointed features and white-blond hair groaned on the floor. He wore a black suit that emphasised his paleness.

'Draco, please take a seat on the Diary Room chair.'

Draco Malfoy got to his feel and brushed down the front of his suit. He stopped suddenly and quickly checked his pockets.

'Where is my wand?'

'Big Brother is sorry to say that no offensive weaponry is permitted in the Big Brother house, Draco.'

'You took my wand? Give me my wand!'

'Big Brother is sorry to say-'

'Give me my wand now!' he demanded, yelling at the ceiling.

'Please take a seat on the Diary Room chair Draco,' the voice repeated.

'Not until you give me my wand.'

'Big Brother cannot return your wand Draco.'

'Then I'm not sitting down.'

'Please take a seat on the Diary Room chair Draco.'

'Let me out of this room!'

'If you sit down Draco.' A red flush was creeping up Draco's pale face. Jaw clenched, he stiffly sat down on the chair as black as his suit.

'Tell us a bit about yourself Draco.'

'I want my wand back,' he said stubbornly.

'Thank you Draco! Before you enter the house you may choose one item from home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

'My wand.'

'Big Brother is sorry to say that no offensive weaponry is permitted in the Big Brother house, Draco. Please choose another item.'

'I don't want anything else.'

'Very well, welcome to the house Draco!' The door to his right slid open.

'My father will hear about this,' he muttered, stalking out of the room.

'Great, two blonds in suits,' commented a man on the sofa. 'What's your name kid?'

Draco looked around. He was clearly in some form of Muggle house. He assumed that all of the people in the room were Muggles too.

'Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.'

'No way!' a dark skinned woman exclaimed from across the room. A man in a bow-tie beside her was also staring at Draco, as were a blond man and brunette woman.

'Alternate universes - that's the only explanation I can suggest.' Bow-tie said, rushing over and circling Draco. 'Amazing!'

'What are you doing? How do you know my name? Who are you people? Are you Muggles?'

'I'm the Doctor, technically, yes, I'm a Muggle as are the rest of us. Big fan by the way. Though you really could do with letting Harry off a bit, he's had a tough time you know.'

'You know Potter?'

'Well, don't we all feel like we know our favourite characters?'

'What are you talking about?'

The Doctor launched into his theory.

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Welcome to the Big Brother house Hermione! I am your host D.A.V.I.N.A! You are live on Channel 500, please do not swear!'

'What.' Hermione Granger got to her feet, brushing her bushy hair back from her face.

'Hermione, please take a seat on the Diary Room chair.' Hermione sat on the chair, reaching into her jacket pocket as she did so. 'Tell us a bit about yourself Hermione.'

Slightly panicked that she couldn't find her wand, Hermione didn't answer D.A.V.I.N.A straight away.

'Tell us a bit about yourself Hermione,' the voice repeated.

Hermione knew that Big Brother was a Muggle reality TV show and that demanding to know where her wand was could constitute breaking the Statute of Secrecy. So she decided to act like a Muggle.

'My parents are both dentists,' she told Big Brother.

'Thank you Hermione! Before you enter the house you may choose one item from home to take with you. Choose wisely!'

Hermione thought about her choice. 'A book – Oliver Twist, my parents gave it to me at Christmas a few years ago.'

'Done! Welcome to the house Hermione!'

Hermione left the room quickly. Stopping suddenly in the middle of the next room, recognising the back of someone's white-blond head.

'Malfoy?' she asked, in disbelief. The dark suited man spun around.

'Granger?'

A woman at the back of the room exclaimed. 'No freaking way! Hermione Granger? This is like Christmas!'

'Damn, she's hot in real life too,' a blond guy said from beside the fridge. The woman beside him elbowed him in the ribs.

'What's going on Draco?' Hermione asked the Slytherin.

'That's exactly what I was just explaining!' Grinned a man in a bow-tie and braces. 'I'm the Doctor by the way.'

'Excuse me?' Hermione spluttered, 'as in Doctor Who?'

'Aha! What did I tell you Martha – we are fictional in another universe!'

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Ladies and gentlemen, your eleventh and penultimate housemate – Molly Hooper! Welcome to the Big Brother house Molly! I am your host D.A.V.I.N.A! You are live on Channel 500, please do not swear!'

The petite brunette pathologist picked herself up from the floor of the Diary Room. She groaned. Big Brother was close to her worst nightmare, given how socially awkward she considered herself to be.

'Molly, please take a seat on the Diary Room chair.' Molly meekly settled on the chair. 'Tell us a bit about yourself Molly.'

'Um,' Molly began quietly, 'I'm a morgue attendant at St Bartholomew's Hospital in London. I have a cat called Toby-'

'Thank you Molly!' D.A.V.I.N.A interrupted. 'Before you enter the house you may choose one item from home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

'Um, my diary, if that's allowed.'

'Done! Welcome to the house Molly!' the door to Molly's right slid open. She anxiously left the Diary Room, unsure about meeting her new housemates.

'Molly? Molly Hooper?' Molly recognised the voice. Over by the kitchenette was someone Molly hadn't seen in years – Martha Jones. 'It is you!'

Martha enveloped Molly in a hug. Molly had liked Martha when they had met during Martha's time as a med student, earning extra money helping out in the morgue, while Molly was doing her morgue attendant training. Molly was glad that she knew someone in the house.

'Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone.'

Molly followed Martha to the kitchen.

*Meanwhile, in the Diary Room*

'Tell us a bit about yourself Sherlock.'

'I'm a consulting detective, the only one in the world I assume as I invented the job. But you obviously already know that. You know everything about me, or I wouldn't have been transported here. So back to you D.A.V.I.N.A – obviously not the original Davina McCall, she's past it now. By the sound of your voice you're some sort of electronic voiceover, artificial intelligence perhaps.'

'Thank you Sherlock! Before you enter the house you may choose one item from home to take in with you. Choose wisely!'

'My violin.'

'Done! Welcome to the house Sherlock!' Sherlock unfolded his long legs from the chair and strode from the room.

'Sherlock Holmes,' he introduced himself to the closest person to him – a man in a Metallica t-shirt. But before Sherlock could do his usual character assessment D.A.V.I.N.A cut in.

'Housemates! Welcome to the Big Brother house! All 12 of you are now in competition with each other to win. You will stay in the Big Brother house for 3 months unless you are evicted. Once a week, one of you will be evicted by the public vote. The garden is off-limits for the first two days. Your luggage will be delivered tomorrow. Housemates are reminded that there is to be no smoking indoors. Good luck!'

So what did you think of that? Let me know your thoughts and whether it's worth me continuing this :)

LittleGuitar94