Author's Note: I wrote this story for a prompt on masskink. The prompt was (as written by the OP):

"I love Mordin and I'm sad to see such little love for our favourite Salarian doctor. I would like to see everyone try to get in the poor doctor's pants, maybe they all have their reasons. Maybe it's his skintone or the fact that he is supposed to be as flexible as a gymnist.

Give me some flustered Mordin lovin! Or, if you like, you can just have someone bend him over his desk. Which would also be nice :D

Male, Female, human or alien, it's all good!"

Thank you The Red Celt for beta reading.

Warning: Somewhere in this story there's a middle-aged woman fantasizing about a certain charming salarian. If you find the thought that a woman in her fifties (the probable age of Dr. Chakwas) can still have those kinds of thoughts disturbing, you might want to skip this story. Or at least Chapter 2. But if you think it's actually funny, then read on. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.


It all started so innocently.

Shepard was in Mordin's lab again, trying to strike up a conversation despite his earlier warnings of disruptions and their dire consequences. But she couldn't help it; she felt drawn to him and couldn't resist the temptation to try and chat with him as often as she could, or at least after every mission. She loved to hear his take on how things went or find out more about him and his life or just laugh at his jokes. She found their conversations calming and at the same time stimulating and if he was hard pressed he would have admitted to the same thing.

So she was thrilled that this time he had a few minutes to talk and when he mentioned that he used to sing Gilbert and Sullivan songs in some multispecies productions she was intrigued.

"You performed Gilbert and Sullivan?" she asked.

"I am the very model of a scientist salarian," he started to sing.

She stood there, eyes wide, as she listened to his rendition of the famous song.

"That was great, Mordin!" she exclaimed after he'd finished the performance and cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. "I didn't know you were a performer. Is there anything you're not good at?"

"Not a professional. Negligible personal interest only."

"I don't even remember when was the last time that I saw a live show, musical or otherwise. I'm sure it's the same for everybody here. It would be wonderful to have a fun evening like that..." Her voice trailed off for a moment as she wistfully considered the impossibility of such a wish in their present predicament, but suddenly her face lit up as and idea took hold of her brain. She looked at Mordin with the brightest smile he'd ever seen from her and asked enthusiastically, "How would you like to put together something for the crew's benefit? I'm sure that everybody could use some entertainment."

"No time." He shook his head dismissively. "Need to work on Collector data. Mission too important."

"You could do it while you wait for the results. Come on, Mordin, the crew's mental health is important, too. Considering the stress we're all under and the fact that we might not make it back from the Omega 4 Relay I'd say we all deserve at least one night of fun, don't you?"

Mordin was quiet for a few seconds as he mulled over the proposal, tapping his chin. It had been a while since he'd felt the rush and satisfaction of sharing his love of music with others. Buried in research and solving problems was what he lived for, but once in a while it wouldn't hurt to enjoy the cultural side of life.

"Very well. Will compile songs for entertainment. Performance tomorrow night. 8 P.M. in mess hall," he finally said.

"Great! Thanks Mordin!" Shepard was beaming with joy and would have hugged the salarian if he hadn't already turned back to his work station.

She hurried out of the lab and went straight to Kelly.

"What can I do for you, Commander?" the yeoman asked in her usual cheery manner.

"Kelly, send out an announcement to all personnel that I want to see all of them at 8 P.M. tomorrow in the mess hall. Attendance is not optional."

"Is there something wrong?" Kelly asked, worried by the urgency in Shepard's voice.

"No. On the contrary. Mordin is going to treat us to a night of music and fun. Make sure that everybody comes, even if you have to drag them there by their ears."

"Yes, Commander," Kelly answered, trying to suppress the excitement in her voice.

'Mordin! Singing! I can't wait!' She couldn't help but smile while she typed up the message and sent it to everybody on board.


The mess hall was packed the next night. Some were curious and excited about the event, especially since choices of entertainment on ship were few and far between. Others couldn't wait to get the whole thing over with so they could get back to their duties or just go to bed and sleep. And there were a few who were royally pissed off about the whole affair.

"Why the fuck do we have to sit here for this stupid thing! Who the fuck cares!" Jack was grumbling to anybody who would listen.

"Just start the damn thing already!" Zaeed agreed.

At exactly 8 P.M. Shepard and Mordin strode through the crowd and stepped up onto the small stage that had been improvised between the chairs and the corridor to the main battery.

"All right everybody, please settle down. We can all use some fun and relaxation and our very own Professor Solus has graciously agreed to entertain us tonight. So, without further ado, I give you Mordin Solus!" Shepard announced, flashed a smile at Mordin, then stepped off the stage and sat down on a chair in the first row.

There were a few claps, then Mordin took a little bow, signaled EDI to start the music and burst into song.

"I am the very model of a scientist salarian..."

The audience clapped.

"I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain..."

The audience tapped their feet.

"If I were a rich man, Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum..."

The audience cheered.

Mordin got more and more into the act. He'd never realized until now how much he missed performing. Moving graciously around the stage, belting out songs, telling jokes, doing tap dance—he did it all. He was charming, funny, enchanting, magnetic— the audience couldn't take their eyes off him. By the end of the show everybody was eating out of the palm of his hand.

When it was over the crowd burst out clapping, whistling and hollering. Mordin smiled and bowed, his heart still pounding with the excitement of his performance.

People shook his hands and congratulated him. Zaeed even slapped him on the back.

"Good job mate, that was bloody amazing."

Soon people started to scatter but some of the women remained, forming a circle around him and hanging on his every word with deep admiration in their eyes.

"Hey Mordin, that was pretty good," Jack nodded at him. "You're all right."

"Doctor Solus, your show was simply wonderful. I can't even tell you how much I enjoyed it," Dr. Chakwas said, smiling.

"Yeah Mordin, it was great," Shepard agreed. "I knew you would be a hit!"

Kelly, Kasumi, Tali and Gabby all nodded.

"Thank you all. Glad you liked the show. Now time for bed. Long day today," Mordin said as he broke away from the group and retreated towards the elevator.

"Looks like we'll have to form a Mordin Solus Fan Club," Kasumi chuckled. Slowly they dispersed and headed back to their quarters, thinking about the evening and humming their favorite tunes.