Chapter 34

I Won't Let You Die

It was another hot day in Edolas. Natsu Dragneel normally loved summer, so he felt weird shivering, although he was sweating in an unnatural way. His limbs barely wanted to move. He stayed in bed most of the time, but occasionally he got up to look out the window.

Being sick sucked!

Wendy Aranya did her best to care for him. The young woman knew only basic healing, and she had no idea what was wrong with Natsu. He was not fevered, yet he trembled and moaned at times, as if he had the flu. He had so little energy, she had to help him with even basic things, like bathing him. That had been embarrassing for Natsu, but he was too drained to protest much.

As for Edo-Wendy, it was hard not to seduce him. She had bathed many men before, but never one who was sick. She had to struggle between a desire to mount him and ride him hard into the bed, and a desire to stroke back his sweaty hair and kiss it all better.

There were was too many clashing emotions for her to handle.

Argh! Why am I like this? Why does he mess with my heart so much?

Natsu mostly just slept, and Edo-Wendy liked to watch him. She had never seen her own universe's Natsu as being handsome, but even innocent in sleep, helpless in sickness, this Earth-Natsu fascinated her. She stroked through his hair as he dreamed. Such soft pink hair! He was so warm, too. One evening, she had thought only to rest her head on his pillow, and she woke up the next morning in bed next to him, her body wrapped around his. Luckily, he had slept the whole time and never knew she was there.

"Fight me, Gray," Natsu mumbled in his sleep.

Edo-Wendy had to chuckle at that. Many of his nighttime grumbles were challenging people to fight. It hurt to hear him mutter a challenge to Laxus. Wendy missed her own guild's Laxus. Back then, she had mostly just picked on him, but Laxus had been rather handsome, in a nerdy sort of way, along with that bad-boy Freed Liberty whom he followed around like a puppy. Those two had totally fucked, it wasn't even subtle, so since her Laxus was flamboyantly gay, she had never been interested in seducing him.

Back then, that was the only thing that interested her in men: how fun would they be to seduce?

Muttering about challenging someone named Sting was also intriguing. Who was he? Did he even exist in Edolas? Maybe, like so many others, he was already dead.

Day after day, Natsu was increasingly in pain, and his lethargy left him barely able to lift his head to eat. Wendy had to spoon-feed him on really bad days. When he was awake, he talked a lot, as if his brain desperately needed to escape reality and go to a happy place.

And that happy place was Earthland.

He talked about the guild, about Happy, about his team, and he gushed about how powerful and awesome and terrifying their Erza was.

Edo-Wendy began to realize more and more, Natsu Dragneel could never stay with her. He needed to get back home. That was where he was happiest.

First, she had to nurse him back to health … if that was even possible.

"You've really been taking care of me," Natsu noted one day. He had been shivering earlier, but wrapped in many thick blankets with the window shut until it was stuffy in the hotel room, he finally looked better.

"Isn't that normal?" she grumbled, hoping her warm cheeks could be blamed on the hot summer afternoon.

"Is it here?" he wondered to himself.

"Of course it's normal to care for someone you're close to."

"Close?"

"W-Well," she stuttered. "We're friends, right?"

His eyes slowly gazed up at her. Wendy's heart skipped at the intensity in the Dragon Slayer's narrow eyes. Then, his hand stretched out, and he caressed her cheek. Wendy went completely still, and her eyes blinked in shock. He was … touching her. Intimately.

What the hell is he doing, and please don't stop!

She could hardly help but lean into his hand. His fingers felt so hot to her, so rough with all the calluses. They were the hands of a fighter! Yet now, he was so weak and sick, simply sitting up in bed exhausted him. His eyes, once so fierce with defiance, now looked sad, and it yanked at her heart.

She wanted to seduce him. She wanted to heal him. She wanted to capture him and wrap him up in her web. She wanted him to finally be free to fly home.

Suddenly, Natsu leaned up off of his pillow and pushed himself into a sitting position. Those intense, melancholy eyes made Edo-Wendy's heart flutter, and a swallow caught in her throat.

"One thing that didn't go away with the lack of magic here: a Dragon Slayer's hearing and sense of smell are much keener than normal humans. I can still hear just fine … including every time your heart races."

She wanted to curse. Deceived by her own heart!

"You like me. Like, like like me." He realized that sounded weird. "Are you in love with me?"

Her chest squeezed. "Maybe," she confessed.

How sad his eyes looked in that moment made her want to retract what she said, deny it, yet her voice was lost.

"That's … really sweet of you." His smile did not quite reach his eyes.

"Natsu, I…"

He leaned in quickly and pressed his mouth against hers to silence her. Wendy's eyes widened. She wanted to pull back in shock, but those fiery lips relaxed her. For such an awkward man who obviously was not well experienced, Natsu Dragneel sure could kiss. Wendy blushed at the feel of his lips. It was a simple, chaste kiss, and when they pulled back, Wendy felt in awe, flustered, and confused.

Why did this feel wrong? She had been wanting to make him hers since he arrived in Edolas. Why was she reluctant now?

"Natsu?" she whispered, but his hand reached behind her head, pulling her into another, harder, more passionate kiss. The attack made a moan slip out of her throat. Those rough fingers played through her long hair, making her shiver. Hesitantly, her small hands roamed over his arms, feeling the tenseness of those bulky muscles. Then she rubbed up his chest, feeling the heat of his skin and the firmness of the taut pectorals. So muscular! Definitely her type.

Suddenly, she pressed on his chest, forcing herself back and breaking the kiss. She was breathless, and his mouth was moist.

"What are you doing?" she cried out, touching her lips in shock.

"Kissing," Natsu said, as if it was obvious.

"But … why would you kiss me?"

He gave a small shrug. "You want that, right?"

She scowled and looked away. "You're not the sort of man who just gives girls what they want." Quieter, she muttered, "You're not the type who would kiss a girl you don't love."

"I could fall in love."

She glared at him. "Could?"

"I figured out what's going on," he said, and Natsu looked weirdly serious. "I'm out of eterano. It's the particles that give us magic. A wizard can't live without magic." He muttered grimly, "I can't live without it." Natsu looked frustrated and perplexed. "I've never been faced with something like this."

"Like what?"

"Dying," he said bluntly. "I can stand up against any enemy and keep fighting even if it means I might die, but this … I can't fight this. I can't just not die of magic deprivation."

"You won't die," she shouted, but her voice failed as she snuffled. "You can't."

"I can't survive without magic. It's a part of my life, a part of my body, and a wizard can die when they completely run out of eterano, just as you would die if you ran out of air. When I first arrived here, all I wanted was to go home. I mean, this Fairy Tail is nice, and I'm glad I made a few friends, but I definitely didn't want to get too close, not if I'd just end up going back to Earthland. However, I don't know if that's possible, and I don't know how much longer I have. If I'm stuck here, if I'll one day die here, if I'll never see home again, then falling in love in Edolas makes no difference."

Wendy scowled at his fatalistic words. "Do you really feel that way?"

Natsu's eyes drifted aside wearily. "I dunno. I just don't want to be alone. Feeling lonely and sad sucks. I felt that way as a kid when Igneel left me. I don't want to feel like that now that my lifespan is probably really limited. I just don't want to die alone. That's the worst way to die. I always thought I'd die surrounded by friends. Now, who have I got here? Your Fairy Tail is on the run; you said there's almost no chance of returning to them. The only person I have now in this dimension is you. You're really nice, and you said maybe you love me, so … maybe I could…"

"Shut up!" Wendy's face pained over. "Just shut up. Don't talk about dying. Don't talk about giving up." She took his hand. "Don't you think that falling in love because you've given up is the worst thing in the world? Isn't that terrible for the person you're trying to love? You have a goal you wanted to aim for, but since you can't have that, they're second best."

He looked stunned by her logic. "N-No, I … I didn't mean…"

"You're not in love, Natsu. You can't just fall in love purely because you're afraid of loneliness."

He scowled, but then looked up playfully. "What if I said I don't want to die a virgin?"

That made her laugh, and Natsu smiled to see her face light up.

"When you laugh, you look more like my Wendy." He chuckled to himself. "If she grows up to look like you, we're gonna be in trouble chasing all the admirers away."

She tilted her head with an amused smile. "Are you calling me pretty?"

"You're definitely pretty."

Her cheeks flushed. Why did his blunt honesty affect her so strongly? He was like a fly that refused to be captured because every trick was met with truth, and he burned through her webs like they were cotton.

Natsu laid back down, as sitting up took up too much energy. His eyes looked up at the ceiling again. He had memorized the designs in the wooden beams by now. "You know, your smell changes when you're infatuated. I can smell it right now too."

Wendy looked away, worried about tattling her feelings through smell, along with her racing heart.

"It's a good smell," he said quietly. "It's … calming. It makes me want to smell more. Smell is somehow connected to finding a mate."

"A … mate?" she asked warily.

"Well, that's what Igneel told me. Um, my Igneel. The dragon, not that asshole I met on the road. Igneel said I'd know my mate because the smell would be something I crave, and I'd smell my mate stronger than any other smell. I like your smell. Maybe that means something. Maybe I could fall in love with you."

"Before you die?" she asked coldly. "You're not saying it, but your eyes show it. Your eyes say, 'I want to experience love before I die.'"

Natsu looked aside with uncharacteristic sullenness. "If I can't go back home… Look, I don't know how long I have. Maybe a year, maybe a few weeks."

"And you'd rather leave me like that? In love with you and mourning your death? Scarred for life because I didn't get enough time to be with you? Do you think any person would want that?"

Natsu's eyes widened in surprise, then dropped dourly. "I didn't think about that."

"You don't think, Natsu Dragneel. That's how you are. Saying you want to fall in love, but thinking you're going to die. Screw that!" she shouted, punching the bed in outrage. "If you're going to bother loving someone, then live for them."

She turned around sharply and marched over to the satchel she had been carrying. She pulled out a small metallic box.

"I won't let you die," she muttered with grim determination as she looked down at the box. "I will make sure you go back home, even if it means you'll leave me forever. I can live with that, but I can't live with the idea of you ever giving up hope. You're a fighter, Natsu. Fight to go back home! Even if it kills us both, we'll keep fighting to get you back to your friends and family. That's the Fairy Tail way!"

She stomped back over to the bed, and Natsu struggled to sit up. "What is that?" he asked, eying the metal box.

"Levy's personal transporter. Experimental. We could die, or we could live, arrive safely back in Fairy Tail, and find a way to send you home. You wanna fight this, right?" she said sharply.

"If it's dangerous, you don't have to."

She gathered their stuff, walked back over, and sat on the bed beside him. "Hell, what am I going to do without Fairy Tail? Live out here, find a small town, get a house, live a normal life? How boring!"

"It's a new start," he argued, thinking about what Edo-Pretch told him about getting out of the dark guild and living a clean life.

She had a playfully sly gleam to her eyes. "What, clean up my act and be of service to society? Knowing me, I'd do something illegal and get arrested in under a year. Hell, since arriving in this town I've accosted two royal guards, stole all of their valuables, drugged two policemen, robbed a grocery store, and started a bar fight so I could grab some booze and swipe all the money from the cash register."

"Wait, when did you do that?"

"Yesterday. I was bored," she said with a casual shrug. "A clean life isn't for me. Fairy Tail is in my soul, just as Earthland is in yours."

She looked down at the box. Push the button, and it should retrieve them. Should! No one really knew. She almost hoped it blasted them right into Natsu Dragneel's dimension. That way he could recover, and she could stay with him.

She gazed up into those dark green eyes, and suddenly she leaned in to kiss him. Her hand felt his cheek, so hot to her fingertips. She wanted to always remember the warmth in her heart that this man ignited. When she leaned back, Natsu was stunned speechless.

"For luck," she whispered. "At least now we don't have to pay for the hotel."

"Wait, we're ditching without paying? That's illegal!"

She merely smirked. "You're talking to a member of a dark guild. We are illegal."

Then Wendy activated the device, and she and Natsu vanished. The stuffy hotel room was silent, with only the rays of sunlight and a lingering scent of the Spider Sky Maiden and the Fire Dragon Slayer.