Giftfic oneshot for iamazoroark, for being the 100th reviewer on The Seven Names of Envy Angevin! (Which you should go read if you haven't. -shameless plugging-)

Theoretically EdxEnvy, but honestly there's more of a focus on Roy than I thought. Oh, plot bunnies.

Warnings: Deep thought, boyxboy cuteness, gratuitous references to Sweeney Todd, EdxEnvy and RoyxRiza. Also, the first thing rated K+ I've written or posted in...years.

Second Chances

General Roy Mustang had recently been tasked with summarizing the current threats to the stability of the military in the wake of the Promised Day. It was a difficult project, and had taken him almost a month to finish the report.

However, gazing out of his window, he wondered if he shouldn't just scrap the entire thing and tell Grumman the truth - the biggest threats to the stability of the military lay right outside of his window. Or rather, were skipping around below it.

"What, lost your touch, pipsqueak?"

"SLOW THE HELL DOWN!"

He considered intervening, but his sense of humour prevented it. After all, it wasn't often you got to see a homunculus and human pursuing each other around the parade grounds with absolutely no regard for propriety, protocol or even pride. Even if that homunculus happened to be...but he'd promised to put that aside.

Looking around with his keen gaze, he noticed he wasn't the only one watching the pair. Edward had surprised everybody when he'd rejoined the military; he'd shocked some people out of their seats when he insisted that the homunculus join as well. Alphonse had gone journeying to distant lands; Edward had managed to convince the remnants of the military to give a known psychopath and murderer a second chance. It was debatable which one was the greater adventure, or more incredibly, stupidly dangerous.

Yes, admittedly, Roy was still a little bitter. He had the great joy of watching Hughes's murderer gallivant around without a care in the world. Envy seemed like a changed man alright, but he'd seen firsthand how damn good these homunculi were at acting. He still jumped every time Gracia popped up unexpectedly, and little boys just gave him incessant shivers.

"How is your work going, sir?" He snapped to attention as Riza walked in, a hint of a smile on her face. She'd caught him staring.

"The report's finished. I was just observing our newest recruit and his rather...unusual training methods."

"That's one way of putting it," she said drily. "It seems to be working, though."

He glanced back down at them. Ed was breathing hard, although his swings at Envy had lost none of their force - the homunculus, on the other hand, was completely unaffected, as fresh as he'd been half an hour ago. "I suppose it is."

"Besides..." She smiled, a rare sight and one he treasured, especially after coming so close to losing her. "It's good to see them acting like children."

"Envy's hardly a child," he muttered, a memory of cruel laughter surfacing.

"Oh?" She nodded out of the window. "He seems rather young to me."

"He's two hundred years old, if not older."

She shrugged. "We don't know how fast homunculi mature, or even if they do. It's possible that by their standards, Envy and Edward are the same age."

"I can't imagine that."

"Can't you? You were the one watching them just now." She placed a small pile of paperwork on his desk. "These came in from Research and Development - you should get them done before you leave tonight."

"You're going easy on me."

"Of course not, sir." She saluted and left, closing the door quietly behind her.

Roy mulled over her words. He'd never thought of Envy as a teenager before - he'd always been keenly aware of his otherness. But...it made sense. Hardly the most well-adjusted teenager, but the mockery, the sullenness, the moodswings...

Suddenly, Roy laughed despite himself. Envy was practically a teenage girl. No wonder Ed had his hands full.

"O...okay...that's...it...I'm gonna...kick...your...ass..."

Envy chortled. "Oh come on, you can barely breathe. Give up already."

"Hell no!" With that, Ed collapsed onto the ground, catching his breath. "I'll just...wait until...tomorrow..."

Envy sat down next to him, ruffling his hair absentmindedly. "Yeah, alright. I think we're heading on a mission soon anyway."

"...Great..." Ed closed his eyes. "I wonder where the bastard'll send us next. I hope it's not North again."

"Speak for yourself, I like that Armstrong chick. She's badass."

Ed opened one eye and gave Envy a disbelieving look. "Are you serious? She kept calling me a dumbass for saving you. And you like her?"

"It's not like she isn't right. You are a dumbass - oof!" Envy's sentence was cut off abruptly by an automail fist to the gut, and he whined, "One day they're gonna partner you with somebody who can't take your abuse, and then what are you gonna do?"

"Pff. I dunno. You're immortal, so I don't have to worry about that, do I?"

Envy was quiet for a moment, and then shrugged. "Yeah, well...yeah." He glanced away, unsure how to react. His newfound friendship with the boy - man now, he supposed - who had previously been his enemy made him uncomfortable, but he guiltily enjoyed it anyway.

Besides, he was the only homunculus alive who was still aware of being such. Who was going to judge him?

"I wonder if little Miss Rockbell knows she's got competition," mused Breda. At Havoc's confused expression, he nodded out of the window.

Havoc nearly inhaled his cigarette, and began coughing and spluttering.

"ENVY?"

Breda nodded solemnly.

Havoc shook his head. "Okay, what the heck are you smoking that makes Envy somehow competition for a cute blonde like her?"

The ginger chuckled. "Five years with the boss and you haven't figured out what he likes in somebody."

"You're trying to tell me he bats for the other team."

"Envy's a shapeshifter, I'm not sure he has a gender."

Havoc pulled a face at that. "Okay, shoot, Mr. Wise Guy. How does Envy beat out Winry?"

"Who would you say the boss cares about most in the world?"

The retired soldier snorted as he lit another cigarette. "Al, of course."

"Why?"

"Because he's his brother. What kind of question is that? That's like asking why I love my sibs."

Breda tapped the side of his nose knowingly, a habit that had irritated Havoc in all the years he'd known the man. "Yeah, but the boss and his brother are different. This is the first time they've willingly been apart in years.So why do you think that connection's so strong?"

Havoc puffed on his cigarette for a few moments, turning it around in his head. "They didn't - don't - have anyone else."

"Exactly. Ed's been solely responsible for Al for years. And now his little brother's striking off on his own, getting his own life..."

Havoc nodded, finishing the thought, "...and now he's got someone else to be responsible for." He frowned. "Is that healthy?"

"No more healthy than getting brained with a wrench."

They both laughed at that, and the lanky blond looked out of the window again, although the odd pair were walking away. "I guess you're right. It's still weird, but you're right...Damn it, Heymans, why are you alwaysright?"

"It's the belly. It gives me special powers."

"Have you ever had meat pies?"

Envy blinked at Ed's strange question, and then shrugged. "Er, once or twice back in the early 1800s."

Ed clapped his palm to his face. "I swear, I'll never get used to hearing that statement seriously..." he muttered. "Anyway, they probably taste totally different now."

"Well, yeah. They used to use cats and whatever meat they could find. There was this one guy - a barber or something - he cut people up and cooked them in pies."

Ed turned a strange shade of green. "And just like that, I'm not hungry anymore," he said with a sigh, making Envy cackle.

They turned into the corner and nearly ran into Hawkeye. Ed immediately saluted, his immense respect for the woman showing through, while Envy completely forgot until Ed trod on his foot.

"Envy, General Mustang would like to see you in his office alone."

Envy dropped the clumsy salute, crossing his arms. "Hell no," he said bluntly, making Ed pinch the bridge of the nose as he stifled a giggle.

Hawkeye's lips tightened almost imperceptibly. "It wasn't a request, Envy."

"Well, yeah, I know that. But I'm not sticking myself in an enclosed space with that psycho."

"That psycho happens to be your commanding officer, and this isn't the first time you've been in his office."

"I wasn't alone before!"

"Envy -" Ed tried to interject, but Envy wasn't having any of it.

"I don't trust him," he growled, eyes flashing. "I don't fucking care if he's in charge, I'm not getting myself killed."

"Envy," Ed murmured again, and Envy glanced down at him, scowling.

"What, you're gonna take her side?"

Ed shrugged apologetically. "Don't provoke him and he's not going to kill you. Hell, I spent four years pissing him off every chance I could and I'm still in one piece. You'll be fine." He pretended he couldn't see the hurt, angry look in Envy's eyes - for a shapeshifter, Envy was honestly a pretty terrible actor. But he couldn't say the truth. You killed Maes, you rubbed it in his face, and you're calling him a psycho for blowing up -

Ed suppressed a sigh. Envy still had a ways to go.

"Fine. I'll go," he snarled. "And I promise not to provoke him." He stalked down the hall, fists clenched by his sides.

Hawkeye sighed nervously as he turned the corner out of sight. "I trust your judgment, Edward, but I don't trust him."

He chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "Not sure why I do, to be honest, but he's alright when he's not pissed off. And, you know, he does kind of have a good reason to be scared of the Colo - er, General. Man, I'm never gonna get used to that."

Hawkeye raised an eyebrow. "Scared? He seemed angry more than anything."

"Oh, he has two modes, angry and chirpy. But he's terrified of Mustang." Ed paused. "Don't tell him I told you that. But..." His voice softened. "You were there."

She paused, and then nodded. She remembered all too well, although it was hard to reconcile the crying creature under Roy's boot with the angry, opinionated and rebellious boy. "It's very altruistic of you to give him a second chance."

He rolled his eyes. "Please, stop with the altruism bullshit. Nobody deserved to die like that, and I've done enough shit in my life and been forgiven for it that I'd be a huge fucking hypocrite if I didn't do something. Besides, we get along surprisingly well."

"Even when he calls you short?"

"Difference of opinion," he hissed through gritted teeth.

Roy was about halfway through his (admittedly smaller than usual) pile of paperwork when a knock came at his door, making him pause. He didn't have any appointments scheduled, and anybody else would just walk in...Still he called out, "Come in."

Gracia Hughes walked into the room, and his pen bent in his hand. He set it aside before it broke and ruined his paperwork.

"If you're gonna kill me," she said in a scratchy voice that was definitely not her own, "will you hurry up and get it over with already?" She slammed the door closed.

"Envy." Roy closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to get rid of the sudden sour taste in his mouth. "We've been over the rules on your powers."

"Fuck. The rules."

Roy opened his eyes again. Gracia's face was twisted in a mask of anger, and she slammed her hands onto the desk. "So how long do you plan to wait this time, huh? Until I don't expect it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about -"

"Like hell you don't!" Red lightning began to flicker around Gracia's form as Envy began to shift, hair growing long and turning dark.

Roy started, shifting backwards as Lust stood before him. "How about this? You killed her once already, shouldn't be too difficult a second time," Envy spat acidly.

"I have no interest in killing anyone." Not entirely true. It was starting to get tempting.

"Oh, right," said Envy, almost conversationally before shifting again. "I have to provoke you."

A few seconds later, Roy was staring at Maes Hughes.

Envy had done this before, in the tunnels beneath Central. Roy had been too far gone for it to affect him then, but now...oh, god, it hurt.

He reached for his pocket, gloves burning a hole in his military trousers, but stopped himself.

"It's possible that...Envy and Edward are the same age."

Envy was a teenager - without a family, without a father, without a mother, without anyone. Roy had been there before.

And even if he didn't have Envy's gifts, he'd once tried to provoke the man who owned his fate in the same way. He'd been thrown out in retaliation.

He'd sworn never to be like Mordred Hawkeye.

Roy placed his hands on top of his desk, making sure Envy could see that he wasn't wearing his gloves. He closed his eyes (he couldn't bear to see that face) and spoke, quietly but clearly.

"Maes Hughes was my best friend for more than twenty years. He was more than my best friend - he was my brother, in every way that mattered. I loved him more than you can imagine. We survived Ishbal. We fought through everything - the bad dreams, the guilt, the rage, the numbness - and we kept fighting to keep the ones we loved safe. We survived so much...and you took him away." His jaw tightened. He wanted so, so badly to kill the man - boy - homunculus in front of him. The guilt, the rage, the numbness. The first two he felt every day; the third he only wished for.

Finally, he opened his eyes, only for Maes to have disappeared. In his place was Roy himself, and a shiver went down the Colonel's spine at the uncanny feeling of staring into a mirror with no glass.

"I was following orders," said Envy in a low, silky tenor which made Roy start. Do I sound like that? "I know you can understand that."

"Comprehend, yes. Understand, no." He could feel his throat pulsing. Listen, he reminded himself. Listen. Be the man that Mordred couldn't be. Even if the cases had so little in common.

"He was your...brother?" asked Envy hesitantly.

"Not by blood, although that hardly made much difference."

Silence. Envy still wore Roy's face, but his eyes, while just as dark as the General's, were pensive and considering. It wasn't an expression Roy had ever seen on Envy's usual face, which might have been why he wasn't wearing it.

Envy shifted in his chair. "Is...is that what it means to be human? To want to kill me, for him?"

And there. There it was - the confusion, the murkiness of being a homunculus in a human world. Unsure, lost, and - it hit him like a ton of bricks - trying to make amends but completely ignorant as to how.

"No," he responded, earning a puzzled glance from his double. "What it means to be human..." He couldn't just shrug and say nobody really knew. If this was Edward asking, or his own child, that's what he would have said.

But Envy needed an answer. He needed something to look forward to.

Roy suddenly remembered watching Envy and Ed in the yard, laughing and bickering. He'd seen them like that a thousand times - going on or coming back from the handful of missions they'd been on so far, heading back to the dorms, strolling into the office like a pair of twin destructive forces of nature.

"Hawkeye stopped me," he said. "And she was able to. That's what makes me human - the things that keep me grounded, keep me able to love without resorting to murder."

"Hawkeye, huh?" There was a hint of Envy's usual mockery, but not nearly as acrid as usual. "I'd forgotten that. She means a lot to you, doesn't she?"

Roy bit the inside of his lip, debating what to say. Finally, he decided it was ambiguous enough to slide. "Yes."

Envy burrowed his hands into his pockets. "Maybe I need to find someone like that," he murmured.

Roy couldn't help smiling at that, making the homunculus scowl. "What? What're you grinnin' at?"

"I think you already have."

It was a more subdued and quiet Envy who left the office, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

"How was it?"

His head jerked up, and he couldn't help smiling when he saw Ed waiting for him. "Turns out the bastard didn't want to see me at all. Hawkeye just wanted us to finally talk face to face."

"And did it work?"

He shrugged. "It was alright."

Ed chuckled. "You don't look too scorched, so I guess it can't have been too awful. So, how about those meat pies?"

"Yeah, sure. Although I was wondering if we could stop by the library."

Ed blinked. "You. Want to go - to the library?"

"What, you don't?"

"Course I do! Just never thought I'd see the day when you suggested it," joked Ed, punching Envy lightly on the arm. Envy scowled half-heartedly, rubbing his arm, but his expression softened a moment later as he followed the blond down the hallway.

They were almost out of Headquarters when Ed spun on his heel, looking perplexed. "Okay, what is up with you?"

"What? Nothing's up."

Ed sighed. "You're staring."

Envy started, and grinned sheepishly when he realized he had been. He took a nervous step towards Ed, and then grabbed him, hugging him awkwardly but tightly.

"Thanks," he murmured self-consciously into the younger boy's - man now, he realized - golden strands of hair. "For everything."

"Mm," was Ed's cosy reply, which sent a warm flush to Envy's cheeks. He was not blushing. Then - "What brought this on - you're - you're not leaving, are you?"

"Naw, I just...felt like saying that. Now gerroff, I've filled my sap quota for today." He pushed Ed away, fighting back the not-a-goddamn-blush that was threatening to engulf his entire face. "Let's go be carnivores."

"And hopefully not cannibals."

"Hey, it wouldn't be cannibalism for me. You humans are so squeamish."

Roy tapped his finger on the wood of his desk, wondering how he'd gotten stuck with this. It wasn't...unexpected, exactly, but it wasn't what he'd been hoping to end his week with.

And it was definitely a struggle not to smile, or even smirk.

Envy wasn't even trying, sniggering openly. Ed, however, was bright red and fiddling with his gloves, and his jacket, and anything else he could fiddle with. He also refused to look at either of the two men, steadfastly staring at the floor.

Roy cleared his throat, trying to be as serious as possible. "I hope you understand that this is a situation of great delicacy."

"What, me sticking my tongue down his throat -"

"ENVY!" squeaked Ed, face flushing a deeper red.

Roy very nearly lost the battle with his sanity then and there - but he held on with a viselike grip. "The 'don't ask, don't tell' policy on interpersonal relationships only holds if those relationships aren't consummated in the open."

"We weren't - we - that's not what consummation means!" squeaked Ed again. Truthfully, Roy was loving this. If only he'd known that it took embarrassment of this level to make Fullmetal this docile.

Envy snickered again. "Not my fault he's too yummy to resist."

It was getting very, very hard not to like Envy - even if he was endlessly disrespectful. He'd never thought he'd meet someone more like Ed than Edward himself.

"Envy, shut up," hissed Ed, only to have a tongue stuck out at him in reply.

Roy cleared his throat again. "However, since Envy is considered genderless due to his powers, that technicality may be overlooked - although," he said, raising his voice quickly as he could as Envy opened his mouth (probably to make a dirty joke), "I'd like you to be a bit more discreet with your relations."

Ed nodded tensely, although Roy could see the hint of a smile. "Yeah, course. He just...took me by surprise."

"That's all. You're dismissed." He sat back, and Ed left with a weary sigh. Envy murmured something to the smaller blond, and then came back to stand in front of his desk.

"So...uh...I just wanted to say, uh..." Envy shrugged, looking up and making eye contact with the General. "I'm sorry," he said after a moment, clearly and honestly.

Roy sat still for a moment, then inclined his head as an acceptance. Then - "Congratulations."

"Hanh?"

"You and Fullmetal."

Envy coloured slightly, even as he grinned. "Thanks."

"Although, I don't think I need to remind you what will happen if you hurt him..." he added menacingly, at which Envy screwed up his eyes.

"Oh, thanks. That's real comforting. Anyway, see ya." He went for the door, and then turned back again for a second as if he'd forgotten himself. He raised his hand in a proper salute before leaving, his and Ed's voices bouncing off each other and fading as they walked down the hallway.

Roy gazed at the door for a few minutes longer, still processing how the last few days had gone. He felt like his world had been turned on its side, even more than it had in the year beforehand.

The door opened, snapping him back to attention as Hawkeye walked in. "Sir? Are you alright?"

"Yes, Hawkeye, I'm fine -" He caught sight of the pile of paperwork she was holding. "Actually, I don't feel too well - I think I'll have to take the rest of the day off -"

She laughed, something she did far more often these days. He cherished it every time she did. "You're not getting off that easily. These need to be done by 3." She placed them on his desk, but found her wrist caught in his hand.

"Sir -"

"Ssh." Roy brought her hand to his mouth and pressed his lips to it gently, gazing at her all the while. Then, he slid her palm onto his cheek, leaning into her touch.

Riza smiled, visibly relaxing. Bending over, she kissed his lips firmly but chastely, before pulling away. "I won't distract you from your work...Roy."

"Believe me, you couldn't stop distracting me if you tried."

She rolled her eyes, and he laughed as she left. They were still young, really - maybe not as young as Edward, but they still had lives ahead of them.

They all did.

And who knew what they'd hold?