The morning the sentence was handed down, I was in the courtroom. The morning before, I had been sentenced to six months probation, which was, as everyone knew, a slap on the wrist.

That morning, the morning after I was sentenced, I was back in court at 8:00 am, having only been released from the Ministry jail the previous afternoon.

I hadn't talked to him since the Death Eaters hit me in the back through the middle of a crowd, after I'd tried to bring him to my flat barely conscious. By the time we got to trial, it had been almost two months since that day.

People told me he saved my life. James pointed out that he was the one who'd put it at risk in the first place, but even James had to admit, eventually, that Regulus acted pretty heroically. That admission was a long time coming, considering James had also been convicted of aiding and abetting (on Regulus's account, as he saw it).

When we walked into the courtroom, me first, then James and Lily, her hand fluttering around her lower belly though it looked like she might have just had a big lunch, our parents were among the first people I saw. They stood near the front, my father leaning on a cane, his shoulders bowed with weakness or nerves. My mother was attached to his side, taller than he was with her back straight and her modest heels. She had him by the elbow, and the lower he sagged, the taller she stood.

I stopped when I saw them. I was glad they were there, in a way, for Regulus. This wasn't phony love. They wouldn't have been there if they didn't love him. They would have never been there for me, if I had embarrassed them like that. But, Regulus was always more lovable than I was.

James whispered in my ear, "Ignore them."

But they were sitting in the row right behind where Regulus would sit. Which is where I was gong to sit. Lily saw what the arrangements were and pushed James in the row first, and pulled me in behind her. So when the courtroom came to order, my mother and I were sitting on opposite ends of the same bench. It was the closest I'd been to them in years.

Lily kept putting her hand on mine, and I kept moving it to scratch my nose or brush my hair out of my face.

Then they brought Regulus in. He looked like our father, hunched over. His eyes were vacant and faraway. I was used to how he always rolled them and how his eyebrows never stayed still. But he seemed okay. James told me sometimes people came in mumbling, like they'd already lost it.

I pulled my hand out of Lily's again and chewed the nail off my index finger. Somewhere to my side, I heard a little cough transparently covering a sob. I didn't look over.

I don't know what I was hoping. That they would look at how he had risked his own life more than once and saved mine, too. It wasn't like I didn't know the bad things he did, but I mean. I didn't know what I thought he deserved. I don't know what it was I was expecting. I looked down and found myself squeezing Lily's hand so tight our knuckles were turning white.

The whole process lasted about ten minutes, most of which consisted of formalities. When it was over, they sentenced him to twenty years in Azkaban.

Before they took him away again, I got to hug him, after Mum and Dad. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pressed my palms across his body. He put his hands on my waist. His touch was light. I squeezed him till I felt his sticky rib bones poke into my torso. He touched me like he was hugging an unloved aunt who smelled like cat piss.

I said, "Bye. I love you. I'll visit. I'm sorry. I'll write." Things like that. I don't think he said anything. I tried to look him in the eyes, but he turned away.

On the way home, I thought of life without him. Lily didn't want me Apparating. She had James borrow a Ministry car. I had been staying with them, anyway.

Regulus and I hadn't been close since I was eleven and went to Hogwarts. When I ran away from home, I didn't particularly think about him, either way. When I found out he had become a Death Eater, which I had always suspected he would, anyway, it was easy to disown him as I had my parents. In my defense, I was sure he had done the same for me. It was so easy to forget one brother when I already had another.

In the front seat, James cursed at another driver and Lily laughed and told him to blow the horn.

When he came to my flat that night, I hadn't missed Regulus in a long time. I was a bit drunk, too, and I might've hurt him or turned him over to the Aurors if things had gone a little different.

But he'd reminded me of how he'd been as a little boy. And maybe he reminded me of myself. I always wanted to be like James, but naturally, I was more like Regulus. He had a bend for the morose and a sullen self-doubt totally alien to James but uncomfortably familiar to me. Regulus reminded me of what I could have been. I needed to help him.

We had only spent a matter of days together. Less than a week out of five years on hostile terms. Out of ten years barely speaking to each other before that. My life, without Regulus, would not change. Less than a week was forgettable. Maybe a few months, a year at most, and I would forget the whole thing ever happened. Lily would have the baby, and I would have a niece or nephew. Regulus would be in prison twenty years. It would be easy to forget him. What else could I do? Less than one week and all that time.

In the courtroom, I said, "I love you." I didn't know if I knew him enough to love him.

When we got back to James and Lily's-the Potters'-house, I offered to help Lily make lunch. She laughed at me and fell down on the sofa. "No, we'll carry-out." I sat down next to her and she put her arms around me. "I'm sorry, Sirius." I relaxed into her and pressed my face in the crook of her neck. Lily was going to make a wonderful mother.

I said, "You're going to make a wonderful mother."

James sat down on my other side and put his hand on my head. That was the only part of me not wrapped up in Lily's arms. "Do you want anything for lunch?"

I could tell he already had the telephone in his other hand.

"Oh, James." Lily loosened her grip, and I sat up. James's hand fell to my shoulder.

"Yeah. What are you ordering?"

That evening, James and Lily settled down to watch a film. Some muggle thing. Lily loved them and James had become a fan against his will. I didn't mind them. There was a certain appeal in the novelty. There wasn't anything bad to be said about the medium. I had nothing negative to say about the cinema.

But I went to my room, anyway. Lily and James had been unhesitant. They offered me a room as soon as I got out of jail. I'm sure they'd been planning to put me up as soon as I landed in St. Mungo's. I was in the nursery. It was already painted pale mint green and James had pushed the cot off into a corner. I was sleeping on a mattress unmoored from the wall, because James insisted he was going to add a second coat of paint to the walls. It seemed adrift, floating in the middle of the room, like sleeping on a boat.

There is something I didn't tell you earlier. Dumbledore had been in court that morning. The whole time. Afterwards I followed him. I wanted to know how he could have let this happen. He said it was all he could do to keep him from being given a life sentence. I told him twenty years was life. Regulus was nineteen years old. Twenty years was more than life. I asked why we'd ever bothered to trust him. I should've taken Regulus out of the country. Regulus would probably die in there. They were starving him. He wasn't eating, I could tell. In with all those Death Eaters. This was his fault. This was on him. Dumbledore didn't say anything to that, and around that time James caught up with me and led me away.

I stripped down to my pants and climbed into bed. The bed was piled high with blankets and pillows, but the pillows kept falling of the back because of the unmoored mattress.

It wasn't all Dumbledore's fault. It's true he'd never promised us anything, and I was sure it was his influence that kept me out of Azkaban and let James go free before his sentencing. But I knew what happened meant Dumbledore thought Regulus deserved prison. Deserved twenty years in prison. The time in my head was insurmountable. Lily and James's child would be a full grown adult by the time he got out.

I fell asleep after about ten minutes. It seemed like a long time to think, but I didn't toss and turn.

The next day I went to an appointment with Lily.

"It's silly how many of these I have to go to," she said, but even as she did, she put her hand protectively on her belly. "You can come in with me. They're going to show me the fetus."

I thought about staying in the waiting room and reading magazines, but I didn't want to offend Lily. She would be hurt if I didn't want to see the baby.

The Healer asked where James was. Lily laughed and said he was at work, and that he had pouted for ages about not being able to come. I was glad the woman knew Lily and James and didn't think I was the father.

She rubbed a load of jelly over Lily's stomach and her womb became visible inside. I leaned over. The little pink ball inside her was bald, with alien pupilless eyes and tiny curled fingers.

"He's a boy," Lily said. "I just haven't told James yet, and you better not, either." She craned her neck, trying to see inside her own belly.

I leaned back and looked away. The whole thing was a bit gruesome. I felt like I was intruding on something private. I could wait until the baby came into this world properly to meet him. Him. A boy.

When we came back home, James was already there. He'd taken off work early. He did that a lot. He didn't really need to work all the time.

"I hoped I'd be able to meet you, but I was late. What did the Healer say?" James asked. "I made sandwiches." He and Lily sat down on the sofa. I sat in the bay window across from them.

"She said everything looks great."

I looked out the window so I didn't have to see James and Lily beam at each other. Probably snog. The day was clear and the ground was brown and crunchy, trees bare. Winter had happened quickly.

"What kind of sandwiches?" Lily's voice lilted, like it only did sometimes when she was talking to James. Back in school, her voice used to be hard and sardonic when she spoke to him. And his would crack and waver. Now he had this deep, quiet voice he used with her. When they were sitting together. Now, when he spoke, I couldn't even hear him. I watched a bird the same color as the ground hopping around, turning up piles of leaves.

"Sirius, are you hungry? James made sandwiches. Or so he claims." She giggled, and I heard, if not saw, him kiss her on the forehead.

"I think I should move back home," I said. I turned away from the window.

"What are you talking about?" Lily's mouth was open, her face pink.

"This seems like a comment on my cooking skills." James grinned.

"It's only been two days! Less than that, even."

"Sirius, you lived with my family for two years."

"One-and-a-half. And I felt bad about that, as well. I mean, you're about to have a baby, I just can't-"

"Sirius, you're staying." Now, Lily's face was white. She sat on the edge of the sofa, back straight. James put his arm around hers.

"Lily, I know you're about to be a mother, and maybe that makes you want to mother me, but I'm a grown man, and I can take care of myself. I should take care of myself."

"I'm not mothering you, you berk. I'm trying to be your friend. Your brother-"

"Lily-"

"Fuck off, James. Your brother, whom you love, is going to prison for twenty years, and you-"

"Lily, let's get lunch ready." James stood up and pulled Lily to her feet.

"You don't have to do that," I said. "James. I know Regulus is in Azkaban. And I know what's happened to me. So." I felt the blood rising to my skin. "Well, fuck it. Let's have some damn sandwiches."

After lunch, I sat at the kitchen counter, where the best lighting in the house was. Lily sat across from me.

Her thin fingertips slid under my bandages and peeled them off gingerly.

"It's not so bad," I said, "you could just yank them off."

"Maybe it's my mothering instinct." The corners of her lips curled.

When the bandages were off, she picked up the tube of ointment and squeezed it onto her fingers.

"I could probably do this myself," I said.

"But I'm a Healer, you know," she said. "I do it better."

"Trainee Healer," I said. The ointment always stung for a while, and I had to clench my fingernails tight in my fists while she unrolled the fresh gauze bandages. I was due back at St. Mungo's in a few days. Apparently at this stage, infection was a big risk. I felt like I was dealing with Muggles, sometimes. Infection? It seemed like something a bezoar should be able to cure. I mumbled this opinion to Lily between my teeth, and she laughed, widely.

"If it gets infected, we can fix it," she said, hooking the metal clasp that held the bandages together through and patting it into place, "but we need to catch the infection before your flesh starts rotting off." She laughed again.

"I don't think that's so funny." I stretched out my fingers as the burning sensation of the ointment faded away.

"Don't worry, your flesh won't rot off." She put her hand on my shoulder.

That night, James and I went down the pub.

"We ought to invite Moony and Wormy," James said, "soon. Sometime."

"Yeah, you could invite them if you want. I mean, I'd like to see them."

"Yeah. Soon." James waved to get the barman's attention. "Could we have a couple of pints over here?"

"And whiskey." I held up three fingers. James grinned. "When was the last time you saw Remus and Peter, anyway?" I asked as the barman poured our whiskies, dribbling puddles between the glasses.

"Not for a couple of weeks, now. Remus maybe even longer."

"Me neither," I said. Beer soaked the bandages under my bottom lip.

"At least Pete keeps in touch." James traced the lip of his glass with his finger. "I've not got so much as an owl from Remus."

"Well, he's quite busy, I reckon. Converting werewolves all over Europe."

"You reckon he's having much luck?"

"I have no idea, but then. He won't like to talk to me about that, anyway."

James looked like he wanted to argue, but just sighed and put his arm around my shoulders. "Well, we'll invite them next time."

Lily had begged off this evening, saying she was tired and wanted to rest up for next evening, when they were having Alice and Frank Longbottom over, but I knew it was because she wouldn't be able to drink and that made her angry.

"So, dinner party with Frank and Alice tomorrow," I said.

"Yeah."

I finished off my whiskey. "Seems so grown up." I tried to smile, but the whiskey made my mouth pucker.

"You're friends with Frank and Alice, too."

"I was. Before the four of you were all married and having couples' get togethers."

"It's just a couple of friends coming over."

"Isn't Alice pregnant too, now?"

"Yeah. Well, so what?"

The light in the pub was fuzzy yellow, glowing and warm. The bar was warm and smooth. I could feel the cold breeze from the cracks in the doorframe against my back. "I think I have plans tomorrow night," I said.

I went to the Ministry the next day to see about the possibility of visiting Regulus. I knew that no matter how busy Lily really was, she would pretend she wasn't and insist on coming with me. For moral support. Lily was big on moral support these days.

So I told her I was going to run some unspecified errands. As though I could have errands to run.

The witch at the Justice Ministry window seemed accommodating until she realized I was on probation myself, and that I'd been convicted with Regulus.

"Can you imagine that we'd let that happen? Just imagine if we had Death Eaters visiting Death Eaters in Azkaban." She clapped her quill down on the half-completed paperwork on her desk. Her jaw hung open.

"But I'm not a Death Eater," I said. I took a deep breath and straightened my back. "If I were, don't you think they wouldn't have sent me to Azkaban, too?"

"That's for the courts to decide."

"So you really think, if the Wizengamot thought I was dangerous-"

"Look, I'm not here to make judgments about whether you're dangerous." She looked me up and down with a critical eye. "I'm just here to tell you the policy, which is that convicted criminals are not allowed to visit inmates in Azkaban."

"Stop calling me a criminal, okay?" I tried to unclench my jaw.

"Are you even aware there's a war on?"

I pulled my bandages away from my face. "Does it look like I'm aware?"

I apologized once I realized I was shouting. The Justice Ministry witch seemed to feel sorry for me after that. I had ripped some of the fledgling scabs off my face, and the blood was soaking through the bandages, and on my fingers. She told me to come back in six months. I didn't know what to do but leave. I was getting blood everywhere.

I went to my flat to clean myself up. It smelled musty and dank, like it had been shut up for years. I was late with rent. The landlord had slipped a note under the door, but the wording was still quite polite. Before I left, I would put the money is his mail drop.

I washed off my face in the w.c., but it wouldn't really stop bleeding properly, and I'd forgotten I didn't have any fresh dressings at my flat, or that ointment.

If the wound weren't magical, it would've healed long before now. It had been months, and still, a scab could barely form.

"But they have been forming," Lily would always say, with perennial cheer, when I worried that my face would always look like this.

I packed up the rest of my clothes and a few books, got an envelope together for Mr. Bantham, and headed back to James and Lily's.

There were still a few hours before the dinner party. As I had anticipated, Lily was beside herself when she saw my face. I confessed where I had gone earlier. "I lost my temper at the Justice Department witch," I said, twisting my fingers together as Lily swabbed the ointment into the deep lesions. "It's good I hurt myself instead of her, though." She pressed my lips shut with the cotton swab, so I couldn't laugh.

"You wouldn't have hurt her," she said. She cradled the back of my head with her other hand.

I leaned into her hand and relaxed my head back so she could get at my neck with the ointment.

"Well, we can try talking to other people. James can talk to his parents' Ministry friends. Maybe Dumbledore could help."

"You know, maybe it's a good thing I can't see him." I stared up at the white ceiling. Everything in the Potters' house was new, fresh, and bright. No cracks in the ceiling, no dark cobwebbed corners.

"What do you mean?" She tilted my chin down and began unrolling the dressings.

"I don't know. He won't be the same. In there. I don't know how it will be. And it's twenty years. What will we even talk about? We barely know each other."

Lily didn't say anything. She just "hmmmed". I squirmed in my seat, and she pinched my arm and told me to stay still. When she was done, she kissed me on the forehead and sent me out for wine and cheese, since I'd set her back in her schedule.

I brought the bottles back and uncorked one for Lily and me. Mostly for me, but Lily had a glass. "It can't hurt the baby every once in a while," she said, or alternatively, "He'll have to deal with things more dangerous than a drink or two soon enough."

"I know what you think," I said to her, slicing pieces of apple to go with the cheese.

"About what? Everything?" She took a very dainty sip of wine.

"Nothing, really. Just that I'm selfish."

"You're not always. You're just acting that way now; I don't know why. Do you think I could drink another glass, or?"

"I think I'm going to skip dinner, if that's okay," I said, putting down the knife to pour myself another glass.

"I suppose the couple's evening might not be your cup of tea."

"James pretended he didn't get that."

Lily smiled and patted my hand. "He just wants you around all the time. He doesn't ever want you to leave."

"I'm lucky, I know." I smiled and scratched the back of my neck.

"You are." She laughed. Then the doorbell rang.

I went out the back door with Lily's blessing. I decided to head to the pub, just to collect my thoughts and make a plan.

"Pint and three fingers?" The barman asked when I sat down.

I nodded. "Reckon it must be easy to remember me."

"You're Sirius right? Lily and James's friend?" He wiped down the bar in front of me before setting down my pint and whiskey.

"I am. But that's not why it's easy to remember me, is it?"

He laughed. "It's only part of it. Where are Lily and James, anyway? How is she coming along?"

"Well. They're having a dinner party tonight."

"My name's Ed," he said and stuck out his hand.

"Nice to meet you." I finished my whiskey and started on the beer.

"The next one's on the house," he said.

"Thank you. Why?" I wiped my mouth with the back of my arm. "Bad form to look a gift-horse in the mouth, I suppose. Are Lily and James such good customers?"

"Good people, too. James mentioned he had a brother who was having a real hard time. I take it you're the brother."

"I am."

"Well, that's what the drink's for. James talks about you a lot. It's a 'feel better soon' drink."

I laughed. "Okay. Thank you."

"So, did the Potters adopt you? James called you his brother, but sometimes he just called you his friend, too."

"Er. In a manner of speaking. I lived with his family when I was a teenager." I took a long drink of my beer and looked down at my fingernails. I did not much want to talk to Ed anymore, but it seemed rude to ignore him after he'd just offered me a round on the house. And he was apparently such good friends with James and Lily. I just hoped the pub would get busier soon.

By the time I reckoned it was safe to go back to Lily and James's, it was the small hours of the morning, and I was drunk.

When I woke up, I was still a bit drunk. I opened my eyes and tried to focus on the ceiling, but there were no cracks. Nothing to focus on. I rolled over and looked out the window. It was raining. It was Saturday. James would be home all day. I wanted to spend an entire day with him, together every moment, like we used to do. I wanted him to be hungover, too, to crawl into my room at 2:00 in the afternoon moaning and swearing he'd never drink again.

"I think I need to see my parents," I said, finding James reading the news on the sofa.

"You should have a cup of coffee first," Lily said. She came up behind me and pushed the back of my head with her palm.

"Ouch, Lily."

"Excuse me." James dropped the Prophet on his lap. "You want to see whom?"

"I don't want to. I didn't say I wanted to. I think I need to."

"Why?"

"Look. The Justice Department won't let me see Regulus."

"We're gong to work that out. They'll be flexible."

"Holy shit, you're such a bureaucrat all of a sudden." I was even surprised, how loud my voice came out. "Throwing your influence around. I might as well be talking to my parents right now. It won't work. I can't see him, but my parents can. I'm sure they have."

James didn't say anything.

"I'm an adult now. I can act civilly. I can handle it."

"What do you think you're going to get out of this? What could they possibly tell you? You want to know how Regulus is doing? Shit, I'll tell you. Not fucking well. He's reliving all the worst moments of his life all the time. He's probably starving himself. He's probably sick. His wounds are probably infected, his broken bones haven't been set right. And he's not going to get any medical treatment. That's how he's doing. There. Are you happy?"

"You think I don't know all that already? You think I'm so stupid?"

"Then why do you need to see your parents?"

"Because they're my parents, James. Mine and Regulus's. We're his family."

"They're just going to tell you it's your fault." James looked like he wanted to stand up, but I put my hand on his shoulder and sat down beside him. "They're going to tell you it's your fault Regulus is in Azkaban and that he's going to die there because of you. Do you really want to hear that?"

"Well, I just heard it from you."

James turned to me, his face just inches from mine. "You know I don't think that."

I faced front and looked out the window. "But you have thought of it. And so have I. I know what they'll say to me; I've said it to myself."

"You're just trying to punish yourself. You're wallowing."

I shook my head. I didn't know what to say to him.

"I'll go see him, then."

I laughed. "You're a criminal too now, you know." I looked back at him and he was kind of smiling. "Thank you," I said. "For the Polyjuice. For trusting Regulus, for coming up with that plan."

He punched me in the arm. "Are you joking? Lily can go visit him."

"Lily doesn't have anything to say to him." I picked at my cuticles. "I can't even think of sending her there, pregnant. I don't know if dementors can affect a fetus."

James didn't say anything, but he kind of nodded hypnotically.

"Well, I'll go see them tomorrow." I settled back into the sofa.

James didn't argue.

I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I could hear James and Lily in the kitchen, laughing, and metal dishes clanging.

The next day, I got up thinking I was going back to Grimmauld Place.

But it was harder to do that to think of. First thing in the morning, I volunteered to go to the shop to get groceries for Lily. There was something satisfying about the butcher shop and the sound the cleaver made coming down on the butcher block.

When I went to the market and walked down the long aisles, it became hard to focus. The items on Lily's list weren't close together, and I went down a few aisles more than once, doubling back and forth over the list. I kept having to bring the list back up to my eye, letting it run over Lily's small handwriting.

I had just come out of the store, holing two shopping bags in my hands, when someone called my name.

I put the bags down on the ground and turned.

"Hi." Rosier was striding across the car park with his hand already out.

I took a step back, but when he reached for my hand, I let him take it.

"How are you?" His smile never faltered. There was a shiny scar running the length of his face. It was faded and looked old, but I knew it hadn't been there before. It had to have happened within the past year.

"What do you want?" I nudged the shopping bags behind me and put my hand in my pocket, around my wand.

"I want to talk to you. How is your-" He gestured at my face, "doing?"

"Fine."

"Good. I just wanted to talk to you about Regulus." Rosier tilted his head up to meet my gaze. He squinted in the cloudy sunlight. His scar glinted and his red curls shone.

"What about him?"

"Let's have lunch." His shark smile opened wider, showing rows of white teeth.

"No."

"I think we both want to keep this civil. I'll pay."

I felt a raindrop fall on my cheekbone. My first thought was that I couldn't let the groceries get wet.

At the diner down the street, I ordered a pint and Rosier ordered blood sausage and a salad.

"my interest is practical," Rosier said, slicing a cherry tomato with his canines. "I know he's not doing well." He rolled his eyes. A seed was stuck to his lip. "And I know you can't see him. I was there, in court, when he was sentenced." He smiled. "I saw you there."

"Right." I swallowed a big gulp of beer. "What does practical mean?"

"Well, it's when-"

"Shut the fuck up and answer the question."

"I'm just trying to be friendly." He stared down at his plate and carved his sausage into tiny bites. "I'm here because I want to help Regulus."

I flagged down the waitress and ordered another pint.

"But you're not done with the first one," she said. Her ponytail bobbed side to side. Rosier laughed.

"I'll worry about that." I finished my beer while Rosier finished chewing the bite of sausage in his mouth.

"We've been friends since we were eleven. Even before," Rosier continued. "Of course I want to help him."

"Funny, most of his friends since he was eleven want to kill him." I intercepted the second pint before the waitress could put it on the table. "Thank you."

"Are you accusing me of something?" Rosier smiled with a cheek full of blood sausage.

"I didn't say anything." I took a long swig of my beer.

Rosier's big smile twisted. "I love him more than you do, you know."

"Maybe you do."

"I'm going to save him. I'm going to rescue him. That's what I came here to talk to you about."

I shook my head. The restaurant behind Rosier was dark and empty, barely open. We must have been the first customers the place had all day. When Rosier stretched his fingers in front of him, I saw little black marks in the webbings. "I don't believe you," I said.

"What don't you believe?" Rosier's smile widened, but his eyes narrowed. It may have been against the sun coming through the clouds in the window behind me.

"You. Everything about you. I don't know what you're doing or why you're doing it. And stop smiling, like you know something no one else does."

"I feel like smiling." He clasped his hands together and pressed down on his knuckles with his fingertips.

"And that's another thing. You never answer a question straight."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He opened them again. Their nauseated green color glinted in the sun. "I don't know what I can say to you to convince you to help me break Regulus out of prison."

I laughed and flecks of beer flew out of my mouth and landed on Rosier's plate. "There's nothing you can say, Rosier, you're right. There's nothing you can do to convince me, because I'm sure you're a Death Eater, and even if you weren't, I know you well enough to know you must have some ulterior motive, which might involve having me or Regulus or both of us killed."

Rosier laughed again. "Those are serious doubts. But if I wanted to kill Regulus. Well, he's as good as dead where he is. He'd probably be happy to be killed. You know he's starving himself. Everyone does at first. And you, well. I'll let you decide if your personal risk is too great."

I swallowed the end of my beer. "Thanks for lunch, Rosier."

"You're welcome." As I was walking away, Rosier caught the waitress by the wrist and ordered a bottle of wine.

A/n: So, here is the first chapter of the sequel to "The Life You Lose". It is extra-long on account of I felt bad about making y'all wait so long for the last chapter of TLYL and then changing the end and everything so that it was kind of anticlimactic and you didn't get much new material at that. Sorry. Gosh, this is angstier than I'm used to being. I've got to admit it's been real fun so far, though. I will warn you that, like TLYL, this is a wip as of now, so I can't make promises about how often or regularly I'll update, or when it will be done. I do have a few chapters already written though, so there's more coming. Fair warning. As always readers and reviewers will be showered with praises.