A/N: This was more for a good laugh than it was for anything else. It was a random idea I had that needed to get written before it drove me insane! So…yeah! Enjoy! ^_^

"Come on, don't be so angry; it's unbecoming on you," Yumichika said as he was walking into the barracks, followed by Ikkaku.

"You have to be kidding! He'll kill us for this!" Ikkaku's voice was growing sharper by the second, along with the pulsing vein on his forehead. "What made you want to do this anyways?!"

"You haven't met her or you would be a little more optimistic," he noted in a lower tone. "Look, don't you think that maybe he would lighten up a bit if he just had a little more romance in his life?"

"No, I don't," Ikkaku stated simply. "This is completely insane!"

"That's your opinion." Yumichika continued down a maze of hallways until he reached their captain's office.

Walking into the office, they found their captain at his desk…not working on the large stack of paperwork in front of him. His feet were propped on the desktop while he leaned back, resting his head against his hands. "Taichou! Fukutaichou! Good thing I found you," Yumichika looked around, noticing a lack of pink. "Where is the fukutaichou?"

"Ow!" Ikkaku yelped, rubbing his head. Looking up, he noticed the short, pink-haired girl dangling from a rafter, holding a bag of rock candy. The corner of the bag had, unknowingly to her, broke, spilling shards of candy onto the bald head of the third seat shinigami.

"Oh! Hello, Cue-ball!" she said with a mouth full of candy. Ikkaku's temple-vein twitched even more.

"Whaddya want?" asked the 11th squad captain.

"Well, Taichou, I was wondering if you'd like to go train with someone today," said Yumichika, smiling innocently.

"What he really wants is-HMPHPHPH-" Yumichika silenced Ikkaku with a swift hand on his mouth.

"Train? With who?" He arched an eyebrow.

Ikkaku quickly pulled the hand from his mouth and practically yelled, "A girl!" He watched both eyebrows arch in surprise. "I swear, Taichou, it wasn't my idea. In fact, I had nothing to do with it; I-OMPH!"

"Do I know her?" Yachiru asked Yumichika as she looked up innocently, sitting atop a crumpled heap of shinigami on the floor.

"I don't think so. She's not part of the Women's Association and she's in the 5th division."

"A girl, huh? Why do ya want me fightin' a girl for?" Kenpachi dropped his feet, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Yeah, why do you want them fighting? He'd kill her!" Ikkaku yelled as Yachiru jumped off him.

"Ken-chan, you should go! I bet she's very pretty!" said Yachiru, seeming very excited.

"What's tha point? Won't be once fightin's done."

"Please, Ken-chan? Don't you think it could be fun?" she pleaded, hopping onto his back.

Letting out a big sigh, he stood. "Why not? Fightin' a girl's better than no fightin' at all. She can fight, right?"

Kizuko stood at the edge of the cliff near the woods, waiting for Yumichika. They'd only met a few days earlier, but had become swift friends. Every day, they'd meet and train for a short while at that very spot. Today, however, he was late.

"Ki-zu-ko!~" Yumichika sang as he sprinted out of the woods.

"Why are you so late?" she asked turning around. Immediately, she knew why and sent a death-glare to Yumichika, who simply smiled.

*Rewind to the day before*

"Phew, good thing I dodged that one," she said, relieved, looking at the slash across the tree trunk behind her.

"Ew! I'm starting to perspire. We should call it quits for today," he said fanning himself.

"Oh, here I thought you were too beautiful to sweat like the rest of us!" she joked, sitting beneath the tree.

He glared at her. Changing the subject, he said, "You know, you're pretty good. Why did you go into squad 5?"

"Because I could never get in the 11th and I'm never working under Kuchiki Byakuya," she laughed. "I'd never get away with anything."

"Well, I wish there was some way I could help," he said, honestly, sitting next to her.

"The only way I'd ever make it to 11th is if I beat your captain, which is absolutely impossible."

"Or seduce him," he laughed. He watched her cheeks turn pink as she laughed nervously. "Wait. You like him!" he nearly shouted, pointing at her. Yumichika was honestly shocked at his discovery.

"Shut up! Someone will hear you," she sneered. "Promise me you won't tell anyone."

"But how-"

"Promise!" she yelled, pointing her blade in his direction.

"Yeah, yeah, I promise," he said, holding his hands up in defense. When she lowered her zanpakutou, he continued, "How is that even possible? You're so pretty and most women-"

"Firstly, I'm not most women, Yumichika," she interrupted him. "Secondly, I'm not entirely sure why myself. I mean, sure he's not the most attractive guy in Soul Society, but he's strong and doesn't give two shits about what anyone says or thinks. And, whether he admits to it or not, he cares for you guys. I can see it sometimes and he loves Yachiru and would do anything for her. It's…sort of endearing." Yumichika blinked at her, trying to decide how to react. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"I think I know how to help you," he said slowly.

"No! You promised you-"

"Yeah, I know. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone," he said, grinning.

She flash-stepped to the shinigami, grasping his collar in her hands, and slammed him against a nearby tree. "I will kill you for this," she growled. Kizuko felt the strong reiastu behind her and she swallowed hard. "You promised," she whispered, still grasping his collar tightly.

"I didn't tell anyone, just like I promised. I only set up a little training match for you," he said innocently.

"What?! I can't fight him! He'll squish me like a bug!" she screamed at him, no longer caring who heard her. He had brought her to a new level of rage.

"Oh, you'll be fine. You're better than you give yourself credit for," he said, shoo-ing her with his hands. "Now, stop clenching my collar; you'll wrinkle it."

"I'll wrinkle your face if your not careful," she muttered under her breath as she let go of him. She turned around, facing the captain, well, facing his chest. He towered over her; looking up, she felt her stomach turn. There was no way she could do this. "I'm so dead," she muttered, letting her gaze fall to the ground.

"Waahhh, Ken-chan, I told you she'd be pretty!" said Yachiru, peeking over his shoulder.

Kizuko looked at her and blushed slightly. She didn't know how she was going to pull this off, but she had to convince him to go easy on her. Oh, what was she thinking? Even if he went easy on her, she'd end up dead. Note to self…be careful what I wish for.

"Alright, Yumichika," she said to the shinigami standing behind her. "You went through the trouble to bring him here." Grasping the hilt of her zanpakutou, she closed her eyes, hoping she wouldn't regret this, "I'll try not to waste your time, Taichou."

"Come, Ikkaku," Yumichika said, walking off in the direction they came from.

"Wait, what?!" Kizuko yelled. "You're just going to leave me here?!"

"Yep," he smiled. "Hey, Fukutaichou! Can you show me where you got that rock candy from? I suddenly have a craving. I'll buy us all some; how about it?"

The pink-haired girl grinned, "Haaaiii!" She skipped off after them, but turned back and cheered, "Go, go, Ken-chan!"

Kizuko palmed her face. Why me? After they disappeared from view, she asked quietly, "I don't guess I can convince you to go easy on me, huh?"

"That kinda thinkin' is what'll get ya kill'd," he stated simply before walking away, distancing himself. "I'll tell ya what. I'll keep my eye patch on, how's that?" he said seriously.

She laughed nervously, "Gee, thanks. Will you at least take my body back to my division for me?" Kizuko unsheathed her sword and took her stance, "It'd be greatly appreciated." Lunging forward, she flash-stepped toward him and brought her sword down in front. He caught it in his hand. It didn't surprise her. She'd seen him battle before, which was why she knew she had no chance.

"With ya bein' a girl and not bein' in my division, I'd prolly get in trouble if I kill'd ya. I'll only draw my sword if you cut me."

"See? Now, that's reassuring," she said in all honesty. "I may not be able to walk outta here, but at least I know my heart will still be beating and I'll probably be in one piece. Note, I said 'probably.'" She looked at the hand grasping the end of her sword, "But, Taichou. Don't go easy on me just cuz I'm a girl, ok?"

With that said, she took another swing only to have it stop on his skin without making a scratch. That she hadn't seen before and it startled her, caused her to lose focus, which he took advantage of. His fist caught her in the shoulder, sending her flying into a nearby tree. Kizuko felt it splinter as her back hit first.

Groaning, she stood slowly, cracking her spine to adjust. "Damnit, what the hell are you?" she mumbled, not expecting an answer. "Alright, no more playin' around," she said, taking stance again. "Surasshu, Buredo no Shuken!" Her zanpakutou transformed into a double-edged sword decorated with a golden dragon's head on the hilt.

Her fighting style changed into a more elegant, but deadly form similar to that of ancient Chinese Sword-Dancing. Kenpachi continued to block her attacks without much effort, until she twisted, making the metal of her sword bend in the air. She caught the tip of his hand with the tip of the blade, bending it ever so slightly. Though it didn't break the skin, she used the opening and shot up into the air, flipping over him.

At the last second, she flash-stepped a final slash. Turning, she saw him, standing still; the back of his haori gaped open at the slice she'd cut through the 11. "Hopefully, I don't have to pay for that," she mumbled to herself. Kizuko watched as the captain simply discarded the white haori and turned to her, smiling. "Oh, shit," she said, gulping.

The captain lunged at her as he began laughing. He'd taken her off-guard and all she could do was dodge his constant and ruthless attacks. Suddenly, he'd slammed her against a tree and she gasped for the breath that had been knocked from her. "I thought ya said ya wouldn't waste my time," he said. "Stop doubtin' yourself 'n cut me!"

Now pissed, Kizuko shoved him away from her before attacking again. She took a number of hits to various parts of her body, hardly landing a single blow no matter what she tried. The final blow was to her stomach and sent her flying back onto the ground, sliding amidst a cloud of dust.

She gasped and hacked for a few seconds before pulling herself up. Kizuko saw the look of surprise on the Kenpachi's face. She could taste the blood in her mouth and knew she must've looked like shit. Stumbling, she brought her sword up again.

"Still not givin' up?" he smiled. "I like that."

"Once a battle starts, I never run away," she said as calmly as she could. She took a moment to compose herself before lunging again. "Kin'iro no tsubasa!" she yelled, her sword erupting a brilliant golden slash in the air. The massive captain didn't dodge and, as the dust cleared, Kizuko gazed at his body, looking for any scratch. Not a single one! "Damnit!"

He burst out laughing. "Now that's more like it! Wat else ya got?!" Kenpachi's eyes were wide with excitement. He ran towards her and the only thing she could do was block his attack with her sword. Grasping her sword in his hands, he pushed her back against another tree. She was trying hard to push him away. "Wat else ya got, huh?" he asked again, leaning in to her face.

Kizuko had no answer, but, with the captain so close to her, she could feel her heart beating faster. Her body took over and she slammed her mouth against his, taking him by surprise. For a moment, the two were frozen, mouths still crushed together.

When Kizuko realized what she had done, she pulled back with a gasp, "T-taichou, I-"

He interrupted her by grasping the back of her neck and pulling her back against his lips. Her zanpakutou fell to the ground. Kizuko put her hands on either side of his face, deepening the kiss. She felt his hands grasp her waist and lift her up to his level, pinning her there with his hips.

The feeling of his hips against her made her moan into his mouth, her inner heat rising. She pushed her hands into his shihakusho and scraped her nails over the muscles of his chest before shoving the sleeves from his arms. Kenpachi broke the contact, causing Kizuko to whimper from the absence of him, and pushed her a little farther up the tree.

He grasped the top of her uniform in his hands, pulling it open to reveal her breasts. Closing his mouth around a single erect nipple, she gasped and wrapped her legs around his waist. She heard a small rip of fabric and, before she had a chance to guess where it came from, his fingers were inside her, bending, twisting, and thrusting.

She moaned with the pleasure of it all, feeling her juices beginning to coat his digits. He switched his mouth to the other breast, giving it the same treatment. It wasn't much longer before she began to feel herself closing tightly around him, reaching her climax, but once the captain, too, realized this, he stopped and pulled out of her.

Kizuko growled as he pushed her legs from his waist, letting her slide back down to stand in front of him. He didn't disappoint her; he spun her around and, grasping her neck, bent her forward where she held on to the tree with both hands. She knew where this was leading and was fully preparing for it by planting both feet firmly to the ground.

After a quick rustle of fabric, she felt the bottom half of her shihakusho fall. She bit her lip and in a second, he was inside her. As he paused for a second more, she breathed slowly when she felt her walls begin to burn from the stretching taking place as her body tried to accommodate him. When he felt her relax again, he began his ruthless thrusts.

If her mind wasn't completely taken over by the ecstasy, she would've thought that this man held battle and sex in the same right, judging by the way he fucked her. The eleventh division captain was ruthless, strong, and unforgiving. Kizuko felt her knees begin to give way as her climax drew closer once more.

His hands found their way to her hips, holding her to him with one final thrust. She cried out as she felt that knot of pleasure burst within her. Both were trying to steady their breaths as he let go, letting her crumple to the ground. She whimpered again, feeling the emptiness again. Though, her body was tired and shaking from orgasm, she wanted to have him again just to feel him filling her.

Suddenly, she smiled and laughed at the thought that invaded her mind. Kenpachi looked at her after adjusting his bottom half of his uniform, still naked on the ground with her head resting against the tree, and asked, "Wat are ya laughin' at?"

"I thought," she started, standing up shakily. "I thought you said that," she continued, pulling up her pants, "you wouldn't draw your sword unless I cut you." She chuckled.

The captain laughed. "Ya did," he said finally.

"What?! When?!" she asked, oblivious. He held up his fist, showing her the tiniest of cuts on his middle knuckle where she had first bent her sword against towards the beginning of their fight. "Pfft! That doesn't count! I didn't draw blood," she stated seriously, tying her top closed.

"Guess yer right. You'll jus have to try harder next time." He walked to pick up his discarded haori, leaving her stunned. "You get tha pleasure of explainin' to the Captain-General why I need a new cap'n's coat."

Kizuko stilled. "Oh, shit." She watched Kenpachi begin to walk away when what he said truly sunk in. "Wait! Taichou! A next time?" she yelled after him.