Disclaimer; I do not own anything.

The Wounds Are Still There

Nathan ascended the stairs slowly, after saying goodbye to everyone. It didn't take long before everyone cleared out of the house after the police had finished their rounds of routine questions with each and everyone. They all knew and understood that the family of three needed to be alone after the day they'd just had. It was literally the worst day of their lives.

He could still feel his heart hammer against his chest and his hand was hurting like hell after the punches he'd thrown at Dan. But he couldn't care less about the hand, nor did he feel bad for hitting Dan - even though he was the one that brought Jamie back to them, safe and sound.

He stopped at the top of the stairs and turned his gaze at one of the photos hanging on the wall. It was a photo of the three of them. He remembered the day that this was taken. The day when they had decided to buy this house after he got the shoe contract, right before he was going to get drafted into the NBA. Jamie was sitting on his shoulders, already flashing the infamous Scott smirk, which was mirroring his own. He had his arm around Haley, who was looking at them with adoration and one of her genuine, beautiful smiles. It was back when they'd all been happy. Before that single, fatal moment which turned their lives upside down and drove them into darkness. The moment he was responsible for.

He closed his eyes and felt his heart ache. Not for himself, but for Haley and Jamie. He was still beating himself every single day, for how badly he'd behaved after the accident. He still couldn't understand how he'd let himself turn into the worst possible version of himself.

Like Dan.

He clenched his jaw, as anger welled up inside of him. He took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes. They hadn't deserved any of this. Haley and Jamie. These last 4 months, his inappropriate behavior towards Carrie, and now this.

He glanced at the photo one more time and let out a silent sigh before he turned around and walked slowly down the hall towards their bedroom. Their bedroom. At least it used to be.

He halted at the threshold and leaned into the frame of the door when he saw Haley laying halfway against the headboard of the bed. Jamie was cooped up in a ball at her lap, clutched tightly into her chest. His head was snuggled comfortably into the crook of her neck, while she rested her cheek at the top of his sandy blonde head.

They were the perfect image. The best things that had ever happened to him. And today they'd been too close to lose the one thing that was the living proof of the love they shared with each other. He was the dearest and most important thing they had in their lives. He couldn't even phantom the idea of a life without his little boy.

The ache from his heart fired down his spine, when he heard Jamie let out a tiny sob in his sleep and snuggled himself even further into his mother.

"Sshh, it's okay baby. Mama's here." He heard Haley whisper soothingly as her hand rubbed his tiny frame.

When he saw that Jamie settled down and went back to sleep, he tentatively stepped into the room, but halted again when Haley slowly turned her head and looked at him.

Again, that ache fired through him as she met his gaze. There were dark circles under her eyes, still glistening with tears , and her cheeks were pale with traces of the many tears that had fallen throughout the day.

Still, he couldn't stop himself from thinking that she was the most beautiful woman there ever was. Kindhearted, caring and wonderfully amazing. She was his everything.

"Hi…" Nathan was pulled out of his thoughts as she spoke softly.

Nathan hesitantly took the last few steps over to the bed and sat down carefully at the edge, a few inches away from Haley. As much as he wanted to crawl up next to her and hold the two of them tightly in his arms, he knew that Haley wasn't ready for that, so he respectfully held his distance.

"They umm…they all just left." He looked down as he spoke.

Haley nodded her head in response. His voice was low and sounded weak. She let her eyes linger at his somber face. She could see how nervous and insecure he was, and how much he was hurting. A part of her wanted him to come closer, so that she could take some of that pain away, but the flashes of him and Carrie was still very much evident in the back of her mind, which made it extremely hard for her to be close to him. She hated the way she felt every time she looked at him. It was always the same myriad of feelings that shot through her.

Betrayal. Hurt. Insecurity. Anger. Confusion. Ache. Longing.

Love.

No matter how much she tried to make sense out of the feelings, separate them, analyze them and maybe even will one to be stronger than the other, it was always the last one that sat the deepest. The only one she couldn't make to go away. The one that had resided in her heart ever since she was 17. And the one she knew that would still own her heart till her very last day.

She wanted nothing more than to believe him when he said that nothing had happened. That it was just that one kiss, in which she had initiated. But right now she didn't know if she could trust him. He seemed different. More distant. And despite how much she loved him, she just wasn't sure if that was enough anymore.

"How is he doing?" She heard Nathan ask, making her resurface from the tangled web of her thoughts.

She blinked her eyes once and nuzzled her face against Jamie's head and left a soft kiss at the top of his head.

"He's doing much better than I am, actually." She sighed. "I don't know where he gets it from." She added as she met Nathan's gaze.

She felt a sting in her chest as she knew she was lying. But she couldn't make herself to tell him that Jamie was strong and brave, just like his father.

"He's a tough kid, just like his mom. He definitely got that from you, Haley. You are so much stronger than you think you are."

Haley opened her mouth to say something, but the words disappeared at the tip of her tongue. In stead she shook her head softly and smiled weakly at him, as she felt a sting of guilt pierce her heart. She knew he was trying, and she knew deep down, that he still loved her. And on some level, she also knew that he was telling her the truth about everything.

She could still see glimpses of the man she knew he was. The man she loved and trusted more than anything. The man that would never hurt her. Her best friend. Her other half - her better half. But the doubt kept striking her, every time those horrible images of finding them together in the shower popped up.

She felt fresh tears start to form behind her eyes again and blinked them a couple of times to keep them in check. She'd lost count on how many times she'd cried these last few weeks, she was sure she must have ran out by now, but the tears that kept on pushing behind her eyes proved her wrong.

Nathan kept his eyes at her and saw how much she struggled to keep herself together. He wished there was something he could do for her, to relieve some of that weight of worries he knew she was carrying around at all times. He wished she didn't have to go through this. Not after all she'd already been through.

"Hales…" He put his hand on her lower leg, gently rubbing his thumb against her soft, exposed skin. "Is there anything that I can do for you? Anything at all." He asked with concern when he saw a single tear slip out of the corner of her eye.

Haley tensed the instant she felt Nathan's hand on her skin, and first initial thought was to jerk her leg away. But then the familiar feeling of his warm, soft touch made her relax and close her eyes. A tiny, almost silent moan escaped through her lips when she felt his calloused thumb rub slow circles across her leg.

God, she missed being close to him. She missed the safe feeling of having him around. She blamed herself for what had happened today, and she couldn't help but think that this probably would've never happened if Nathan had been here all along.

She wanted him to come back home. They needed him. They always did. And the thought of him never being in this house again. Never again sleeping in this bed, holding her at night. The thought of Jamie not being able to see his dad everyday, made her heart cry out in pain. She couldn't do that to him - to them. Could she? She hated how torn she felt. Why did this have to be so hard?

"Thank you, but I don't think there's anything either one of us can really do at the moment. He's asleep and hopefully he'll sleep through the night. I just need to stay close to him right now." She said and stroked her knuckles over Jamie's cheek.

Disappointment washed through his body by the slightly dejected tone of her voice. He understood though, but he'd still hoped that she could give him a small sign or an indication that she needed him in some way.

At least she hadn't asked him to remove his hand from her leg - which was a step in the right direction. A very small step, but it was still something.

Silence fell between them again, and if it hadn't been for Jamie's even breaths that filled the room, it would've been awkward. It was weird how things had changed between them now, and how difficult it was for them to have a conversation that didn't stagnate with an uncomfortable tension and awkward looks. They were both struggling to find the right words to say to each other, in fear of ending up saying the wrong thing.

"I just don't know what I would've done if…" Haley pulled her lip between her teeth and closed her eyes, she could barley hold her voice as it broke at the end.

Nathan clenched his eyes shut as the tone of her voice pierced through his skin. He knew she was blaming herself and that she was thinking that she had failed as a mother.

He sighed and inched himself a little closer to her. "Don't you ever think that this is your fault, Hales. Cause it's not. She's a deeply disturbed woman, and there was no way that any of us could've known or predicted that she would do something like this." His voice came out soft and comforting, but on the inside he felt like he was about to break down. It pained him to see her like this.

She didn't say anything. Instead she softly shook her head and looked at him with tearful eyes. How did he do it? How could he be so strong about all of this? She wished that she could have some of his strength, that confidence and calmness he always carried around. Her insides were constantly churning and screaming, and she felt like a total mess. But somehow he managed to ease her with his presence and his reassuring words.

"You should try and get some sleep." He whispered and squeezed her leg with his hand. "I'll be here with Jamie so you can change into something more comfortable, I'm sure you would like to get out of this dress." He smiled at her halfway before he got up and walked around to the other side of the bed.

He climbed in and scooted himself next to Haley as he felt her eyes following his every move. He gave her a reassuring nod when he met her eyes, which made her reluctantly start to slide herself away from underneath Jamie, and carefully place his sleeping body down at the mattress in between them. She leaned down and kissed his forehead as he stirred a little, before she pulled away again and gave Nathan a silent thank you with her eyes. She waited another moment to get out of the bed, and watched Nathan lay down next to their baby boy and drape his arm securely around him, pulling him close to him as he did.

"You're safe now. Mommy and daddy are never letting anything happen to you again. I love you, son." Nathan whispered and placed a gentle kiss at the top of his head, before he snuggled himself comfortably next to him.

Haley felt her heart swell by sight in front of her, and slowly crawled out of the bed before she would completely loose it in front of Nathan. Silent tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, with her heart aching like it never had before.

Nathan raised his head and followed Haley with his eyes, as she came back out from the bathroom and climbed into the bed on the opposite side of Jamie. She scooted herself next to him and placed her hand on his tiny chest while she nuzzled her face into the side of his head.

Nathan watched them for a couple of seconds, before he leaned down and kissed Jamie's cheek. He was fully aware of how close he was to Haley, and his mind were clouding up as the smell of her invaded all of his senses. When he darted his eyes at her, he found that she was looking right back at him and felt his heart skip a beat.

"I should leave." He locked her gaze and hesitantly palmed her hand that was resting at Jamie's chest.

Haley didn't know what to say. She wanted Jamie to also have his father here, he needed him too. And she didn't want to refuse Nathan to spend time with him. This was also affecting him, and she knew that she was not the only one that was still scared and hurt, but she knew that she would feel uncomfortable having him this close to her. It was too soon.

"Okay." She whispered low as she felt him retract his hand, feeling the immediate loss of his warmth. She followed him with her eyes as he slowly made his way out of the bed.

As he stood up, he found the sheet and pulled it over their bodies, carefully tucking them in. He found Haley's eyes once again and let the good, warm feeling of looking into her eyes linger for a couple of seconds. A lump was slowly forming in the back of his throat as a myriad of emotions filled him up. He swallowed hard and leaned down once again, and placed a lovingly kiss at Jamie's temple.

"Sleep tight, buddy. I love you." He said and looked at Haley as he straightened himself up.

He turned and started to walk around the bed when he realized that Haley wasn't going to say anything else. And that was fine. He understood. The only thing she needed now was Jamie, and he knew he had to give her that space. He owed her that.

"Nathan…?" He halted right in front of the door and turned back around when he heard her soft voice.

"Thank you." She turned her head and looked at him. "It's umm…it's just going to take some time…" She let the words fall off of her lips almost inaudible, but she knew he'd heard what she'd said when he gave her a sad smile.

"I know." He paused as he felt a tiny spark of hope grazing the surface of his heart. "I'm not going anywhere…" He then added, his voice deep and soft as his eyes held onto hers for a few moments.

Haley watched him as he nodded at her, and then walked out of the room, leaving them behind.

They still had a long way to go, but she wanted to believe that they would get through this. That they would survive this. They simply had to. And she knew in her heart that they would, as she heard Jamie sigh softly. She looked at him and felt a feeling of relief wash through her. He was a part of her. A part of Nathan. He was the perfect mix of the two of them, bundled up into this small, perfect human body. And he was still here. With them. Always and forever.

AN; Thank you all for reading!