10 Things I Hate About You

There are a lot of things I hate about you, Austin Moon. But all of those things can be pretty much summed up in one list. So, here goes.

You never thank me for the songs I write.

"Ally! When will the song be done?" he groaned. I rolled my eyes at his impatience.

"It's not a five-minute process, Austin. Song writing takes time!" I half-shouted at him. He groaned, rubbing his face with his hands dramatically.

"Well it's been over a month!"

"I have other things to do as well as write songs for you, you know Austin." I muttered.

"Like what?"

"Like school, and homework, and work, and spending time with my friends, and-"

"Oh come off it Ally. I go to school too and I still have plenty of time to be a rockstar. And homework isn't important! You only work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for a couple hours after school and then from eleven till three on a Saturday, and Trish and Dez are your only friends!" he protested. I winced, clenching my fists. If only he knew how much that hurt me. To hear him sum up my life like that, in a few careless sentences. And to completely discount himself as my friend.

"So, what, you're not even my friend now?" I asked him, unable to hold back that barb. He looked confused for a second, and then his face relaxed.

"Well, we're not really 'friends' per say, are we? We're partners." I fought to hold back tears.

"Yeah, I guess. Whatever. The song will be done soon, I promise. But the more you bug me about it, the longer it'll take." I said shortly, then turned and marched out of the room.

The next day I tracked him down during lunch. He used to sit with Trish, Dez and I. But now he's famous, he sits with the popular kids. The cheerleaders, the jocks. We all did, at first, but it was obvious that Austin was the only one who really belonged on that table. So Trish, Dez and I soon started eating as a group of three, and Austin didn't even bat an eyelid.

"Hey, Austin. I have the new song." I said, smiling at him as I approached the table. The two gorgeous, blonde cheerleaders, whose names I don't know, that were clinging to his arms glared at me, and everyone turned to look at Austin. He just looked at me blankly, then took the piece of paper out of my hand.

"It's about time. Could you maybe speed it up a little with the next one?" he muttered. My face fell and I scowled at him.

"We've talked about this. Be patient." I said.

"It's hard to be patient when you have thousands of fans eagerly waiting for a song you can't give them because your songwriter is slacking off." He returned. I felt my eyes well up at the jab, but I refused to cry in front of these people. Most of them were sneering at me, and a couple were openly laughing.

"Whatever. Maybe you should find a new songwriter." I muttered, turning away. I took two steps before he called me back.

"Wait, Ally." He called. I turned, hoping for some kind of apology, or a thank you.

"What?"

"Is this major or minor key?" he asked, not even looking up from the paper. I sighed and turned away again.

"Major." I replied over my shoulder. That was the last conversation we had for two days.

You constantly blow me off for your stupid dates.

"Come on, Austin! We need to practice!" I shouted down the phone. He sighed dramatically and I almost heard him roll his eyes.

"For fuck's sake, Ally, we've already rehearsed twice this week! Missing one rehearsal won't make a difference. Besides, this is Becca Gideon. You don't just cancel a date with Becca Gideon. She's more in demand than Megan Fox!" he groaned. I bit back a snarky retort and took a deep breath, controlling my temper.

"Austin, you've blown off our last three rehearsals for dates. How are you ever going to get better if you don't practice?"

"I don't need to get better. I'm already famous. Come on, Ally, please? I'll love you forever…" he pleaded. I groaned. I could almost see the puppy-dog eyes. After a few seconds I sighed.

"Fine, whatever. It's your career. But if you suck at your next concert, don't blame me."

"As if I could ever suck, Ally. See you tomorrow, okay? I promise, I won't blow you off."

"You'd better not." I muttered.

"Love you Als."

"Bye Austin."

He has no idea how much it hurts to hear him say these things. And even though I know he most likely will blow me off again, I tell myself he won't. Even though I know he will say he won't do it again, he will. It's just one big continuous cycle. He makes a promise, he breaks a promise. And I let him get away with it.

You treat me like 'one of the guys'.

"Hey, Ally, I need some advice." Austin says as he jumps over the couch to sit beside me. I groaned, finishing the word I was writing and closing my book.

"What is it this time?" I asked him.

"I went out with Sasha True the other night, and we hooked up. I thought she understood how it was, just a one-time thing, but she called me yesterday and asked me out for a 'second date'. I don't want to piss her off and make her tell the press, but I'm really not interested in a serious relationship. What should I do?" he asked. I gaped at him.

"You're seriously asking me about this?"

"Well, yeah. Why?"

"Is this how you treat all girls? Or are you just being particularly jerky today?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're talking about this girl like she's some kind of hooker! You can't just hook up with a girl and expect her to move on! Sex is a big deal for girls! Why are you being such a dickhead lately?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I didn't lead her on, Als. It's not like I said I liked her or anything. I took her for a meal, and then we went back to my apartment. Why would she think I wanted something more?"

"Because! For fuck's sake, Austin, what is wrong with you? You never used to be like this! You used to respect girls!" I shouted, grabbing my book and getting to my feet.

"Come on, Ally, why are you so mad?"

"Because you're talking about this girl like she's nothing, and me being a girl myself, that hurts." I yelled. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down onto the couch beside him.

"Look, Ally, I'm sorry. I guess I should have thought this through. Sometimes I just forget that you're not one of the guys, you know? I don't mean to be disrespectful. It's just…my career is just taking off. I can't be dealing with relationships right now." He shrugged. I sighed, still angry.

"Well, I'm not one of the guys, and I can't believe you actually treat girls like that." I muttered.

"I'm sorry, Ally, really. I'll be better, I swear. Hell, I'll even go on this 'second date' if you want…" he offered, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it. I shook my head, not in the mood to argue anymore.

"Look, just tell her you're sorry, but you're not interested in a second date. Make sure you actually sound sorry, though. And do it face to face, Austin. Don't you dare do it over the phone. If she cries, you need to hug her and tell her it's okay, that there's someone out there for her. If she slaps you, take it like a man." I said. He frowned.

"This sounds dangerous…do you think you could do it?" he asked.

"No!"

"Aw, come on Ally, please?" he begged.

"No, Austin. You're on your own for this one."

"But Al-ly…"

"No." I said, then I got up and left the room, knowing that if I stayed there any longer I would probably agree.

You always look perfect, even when you've just woken up.

"Austin, wake up!" I shouted, shaking his arm. He jumped, bashing his forehead against mine and sending me flying backwards. He looked around frantically, then spotted me on the floor and relaxed.

"What's up Ally?" he asked. I rubbed my forehead, moaning in pain.

"We fell asleep. You need to leave before my dad gets home, or he'll kill you." I muttered, blushing. He scoffed.

"Aw come one, Ally. As if anything would ever happen between us. Even your dad has to know that." He said lightly, running his hand through his hair. I looked up at him, and for a second I was frozen, lost in his eyes. Then he looked away, towards the window, and frowned. I couldn't help but notice how perfect he looked, even with his hair messed up and puffy eyes from lack of sleep. I didn't even want to think about how I must have looked, hair tangles, bags under my eyes. He was right; no guy like him would ever want anything to do with a girl like me. Unless she was his songwriter, of course.

"What time is it, Ally? It's still dark outside."

"About four, I think." I muttered, jumping off the bed and shivering. We had fallen asleep right next to each other, and our body heat probably kept us warm, but now I wasn't next to him I noticed how cold it was in my room.

"What the fuck? Why did you wake me up so early?"

"Because my dad will be home soon, and if he finds you in here he'll kill you. Even if there's no way anything will ever happen…if you caught your teenage daughter in her room with a guy who obviously stayed overnight, what would you think?"

"Well, I guess I can see where you're coming from, but if it was me and you, I'd know it was nothing, and-"

"Oh for fuck's sake Austin, stop it!" I shouted.

"Stop what?" he asked, looking confused.

"Stop with the whole 'you would never have a chance with me' thing! I know a guy like you would never see me that way! There's no need to rub it in!"

"Ally, calm down! That wasn't what I was trying to say at all. I just meant that everyone knows we're just friends." He said.

"But according to you we're not even that! We're 'partners'! What does that even mean? Is it more or less than friends? Am I just the girl who writes your songs, who's just like another guy to you?" I asked him.

"No, Ally, you're not. When I said we were partners, I meant that we were friends and more. How could you think I only see you as a songwriter?"

"You're right, I'm sorry. Whatever, let's just forget this. You need to leave, though, because my dad will go mad." I said. He smiled, getting off the bed and stretching. His shirt rose up a little to show the bottom of his abdomen, and the clearly-defined V-shape that only came from hours spent in the gym daily.

"See you later Ally." He said, before grabbing his guitar and leaving. I stayed sat on my bed, listening to the sound of his footsteps going down the stairs, across the hall and then sliding and banging of the door opening and closing. And then I can breathe again, because he isn't in the house anymore, just us, without any adults…and I can't see how gorgeous he looks.

You never compliment me on anything. Ever. Well, almost ever…

"Come on Ally, you've been in there forever! We can't be late for Prom!" Trish yelled from outside the bathroom door. I sighed, glancing at myself in the mirror once more and fixing a strand of hair that had escaped the harsh bun. I was wearing a twelve-hundred dollar dress, and Trish's parents had hired a professional celebrity hairdresser, (for six-thousand an hour, might I add), to do our hair, yet something just didn't feel right. Shaking my head, I turned and opened the door, deciding that if I stalled for any longer I wouldn't ever leave. Trish glared at me for a second, but then she was grinning.

"Wow, Ally, you look amazing. I thought I looked good, but…wow." She whispered. I smiled.

"I don't look that good. You're the one that looks great, Trish." I said, and it was true. She was wearing a bright pink and blue leopard print dress and glittery pink heels. Her hair was, shockingly, straightened and her make-up was flawless. Thankfully, Trish's parents didn't have to hire a make-up artist, since Trish's mom was a make-up artist on Broadway for seven years.

"Let's just agree that we both look amazing, okay?" she offered. I laughed and nodded, knowing that was the best I was going to get. I didn't want to turn things into a full-scale argument.

We got down the stairs and Trish's parents were waiting for us. They both grinned when we walked in.

"Wow, don't you two look amazing. Ally, dear, I've never seen you look so radiant. Who is it you're going with again?" her mom gushed. I smiled but my heart wasn't in it.

"Dallas Cipriano." I told her.

"That's it! Well, he's one lucky guy judging by the way you look tonight." She grinned.

After many photos and compliments, the door finally rang. Dallas and Dez weren't really 'friends', but they had hired a limo together for Trish and I.

When we arrived at Prom I was surprised to find myself the centre of attention. The amount of girls I had never spoken to before that told me I looked 'stunning' or 'beautiful' and the amount of guys that asked me to dance or tried to hit on me was hard to believe. Maybe I did look as good as Trish said I did.

Finally, near the end of the dance, Austin found me. I smiled slightly at him, not sure if he was in one of those moods where we were sort-of friends, or if he was in one of those moods where I was just his 'songwriter'. I'm pretty sure even he himself didn't know the difference, but I sure did.

"Hey Als. You look bored, you wanna dance?" he asked nonchalantly. I shrugged, and he rolled his eyes and took my hand.

"Come on, partner." He said dragging me to the centre of the dance floor. I laughed as he held me at arms distance and started pulling me around in an awkward circle.

"I'm not that bad anymore, Austin. I've been practising." I said. He looked sceptical, but relaxed and assumed a natural dancing position anyway. We started drifting around in slow circles, nothing too complicated, but it was good for me.

"When did you learn to dance?" he asked me.

"Dez taught me a little. Don't worry, I still have two left feet. But I can deal with this kind of dancing." I shrugged. It sounds selfish, but I was hoping he would complement me, like everyone else had been. But he said nothing, even when the song changed, while we were still dancing, and a guy came over and told me I looked 'amazing' and asked me to dance. I looked at Austin who shook his head a little, and I said no. I wondered why Austin didn't want me to dance with the other guy, but assumed it was something to do with his ego and let it go. I was hoping maybe he might say something after that guy, but he just stayed quiet.

"You look nice today. I didn't realise you even owned a tux." I commented. He looked down, and grimaced.

"I don't. This is a loan. I wouldn't be caught dead in this anywhere else." He said. I laughed, waiting for him to maybe take the hint and comment on my own outfit, but that was all he said. When the second song finally ended I pulled away, smiling at him.

"Thanks for the dance." I smiled. He stared at me for a moment, not speaking, and after a minute I just had to turn away. His gaze was too…disconcerting. As I made to leave, however, I felt him grab my arm.

"I don't like your hair, Ally. It's so not you." He muttered. I just frowned at him, confused. He sighed, looking frustrated, and before I knew it he had pulled out the pins holding the six-thousand-dollar hairstyle in place. I gasped, slapping his arm.

"Austin! Do you have any idea how much it cost to have that done?" I whisper-yelled. He shrugged.

"It looks better down. A lot better." And that was the most I was going to get out of him, compliment-wise. So I took it gracefully, smiling and nodding before walking away. I found Dallas and we left to find Trish and Dez, making out beside the limo, and then we all went home.

You're always buying your 'girlfriends' presents, but you never buy me anything.

"Ally, what do you think a girl would want for her birthday?" Austin asked me. I rolled my eyes.

"A boyfriend that knew her well enough not to have to ask his partner what she might want for her birthday?" I suggested. He thought for a second, then scowled at me.

"Come on Ally, I'm being serious. I have no clue, and if I don't get her anything she's going to be furious!" he moaned. I sighed.

"Well, why don't you ask her then? Or just give her money?" he shook his head.

"I already tried asking her and she got all giggly and said I didn't have to buy her anything. I told Dez that, though, and he said that's code for 'ask me again, or I'm dumping your ass, asshole', so I figured I should probably try asking you." He explained.

"Seriously? Ugh, well I don't know! I've never even met this girl! What kinda things is she into?" I asked him. He frowned, thinking for a minute.

"Erm, well…she likes make-up. And clothes…" he said half-heartedly.

"Austin, sweetie, all girls like make-up and clothes."

"You don't."

"Erm, yeah, I do…"

"But you never wear clothes, and you're make-up is boring." He muttered. My eyes widened.

"What?" I gasped, looking down at myself to ensure I was, in fact, wearing clothes. Which I was. Austin face-palmed. Literally. I kid you not.

"I mean you never wear make-up, and your clothes are boring." He corrected himself. I laughed.

"God, Austin, you had me worried for a second there." I joked. He laughed.

"But seriously, should I get her make-up and clothes?"

"No! Never buy a girl make-up. She'll think you're trying to say she needs to wear more, and get offended.

"Okay…so clothes then?"

"No! Never buy a girl clothes, either. If they are even remotely different to her usual style she will think you're trying to say you don't like her usual style and that you're trying to change her."

"What should I buy her then?"

"Jewellery is usually a safe option…"

"What kind of jewellery?"

"Depends. How long have you two been together? How long do you plan to be together?" I asked him. He looked sheepish.

"We've been together for three days, and we might last another week…maybe." He said quietly. I threw my hands up in defeat.

"Oh my God, Austin, I'm not helping you buy a gift for a girl you're going to dump within the next week. If you get her a girt she'll take is as a sign that you really like her, and she'll be even more hurt when you break her heart."

"It is her birthday, Ally. I'm not just buying her a random gift." That hurt.

"Well, you've known me for almost ten years and you've never bought me a fucking birthday present!" I shouted, causing the few people in the store within hearing distance to look over. Austin looked surprised, and then some strange expression crossed his features, but I was storming off before I could figure out what it was.

You kiss me on the cheek and smile secretively and flirt with me and wink at me all the time, like it's all just a big joke.

"Ally, hurry up. If you're not ready in the next five minutes I'm going without you." He warned. I scoffed.

"As if you'd go without me. If you go without me, you have to drive, meaning you can't get drunk. And if you can't get drunk, you can't have a good time. And if you can't have a good time, you'll be bored. And if you're bored, you'll want to leave early. And if you leave early, the press will be all over you and you'll be in a foul mood all week. And you hate being in a bad mood. So I'll take as long as I want to, thank you very much." I huffed. The truth was, I couldn't decide what to wear. This was going to be my first appearance on TV, and I had to look my best. So I was currently stood in the middle of my bedroom, glaring angrily at the piles of clothes strewn across my bed.

"Ally…alright, that's it, I'm coming in!" he shouted. I barely had time to register what he was saying before the door swung open and he was looking at me. I wouldn't have cared, if I hadn't been dressed in nothing but a lacy lingerie set. He looked embarrassed for a second, before smirking.

"Who knew you looked so good under all those clothes?" he said flirtily, eyebrows raised. I glared at him, barging forwards to push him back out the room and shut the door. He wedged a foot in the doorway.

"Come on, Ally, I was only messing." He said, seeing the murderous expression on my face. I shoved the door, making him gasp in pain, but he didn't move his foot.

"Okay, I'm sorry. But if you're not ready in ten minutes, you're going as you are." He said.

"Sure I am." I muttered sarcastically.

"I'm sure no-one would mind, Als. Especially me…" he winked, making me glare at him more and slam the door as hard as I could on his foot. With one last cry of pain he jumped backwards, and I heard a thud as he fell over on his butt. I smiled, satisfied, and turned back to my clothes. Finally deciding on a low-cut, halter dress, some black heels and a leather jacket, I pulled my outfit on and checked myself out in the mirror. My hair was boring, as usual, so I decided to sweep it into a messy bun. That was better than leaving it down, and there was a certain glam-factor about the few escaped tendrils framing my face.

"Finally." Austin groaned as I walked out of my room. I punched his arm and walked past, grabbing my bag and checking I had my money, phone and aspirin. I'd taken to carrying aspirin around a lot lately, since I had been spending more time with Austin.

"Stop complaining or I'll take even longer next time." I threatened. He shut up then, although he did sneak in one more cheeky wink and a peck on the cheek as I climbed into the car. He kisses my cheek a lot lately. It's pretty annoying, actually.

"You know, you could just cut out a whole chunk of your 'getting ready' time by going out naked…"

"Fuck you, Austin." I murmured. He laughed, starting the car.

"You know you want to." He replied cockily. I glared at him.

"Sure, in your dreams."

"Of course."

I was too confused to comment. We spent the entire journey in silence.

You screw all these girls like it means nothing, like you're some kind of man-whore.

"Whoa…that is one hot piece of ass. You think she'd go for me?" Austin asked, staring wistfully as a gorgeous blonde passed us where we were stood in line for the ice-cream parlour.

"Seriously, Austin, you're such a man-whore. I remember a time when you respected girls, when you thought of sex as something that mattered, something important. What happened to that Austin Moon?" I yelled at him. He looked hurt.

"I'm not a man-whore! I just grew up, and realised that sex really isn't that big a deal!" he yelled back.

"It is too a big deal!"

"For fuck's sake, Ally, we're twenty-six years old! Don't start this! Even you have to know by now that it's not!"

"Why would I know? It's not like I've ever had sex!" I shouted, then gasped, slapping a hand over my mouth. Austin looked shocked; beyond shocked.

"What?" he choked out.

"Yeah, that's right. Poor old Ally Dawson, twenty-six years old and still a virgin. Go ahead, laugh. It's not like you weren't expecting it, though ,right? From the day you first met me, you had to know I would probably never get a guy to like me." I muttered. He visibly relaxed and moved closer to me.

"I'm sorry, Ally, I didn't realise. I was being stupid; of course sex is a big deal. Especially your first time…it's different for me. I'm a guy. But I'm not a man-whore, Ally, I promise. I don't sleep with anything and everything." He explained. I laughed dryly.

"Just anything with big boobs and a nice ass, right?"

"No! Well…look, I'll admit, I treat girls like crap. I've let fame go to my head. But I've never led anyone on. I have that going for me, at least. The girls I hook up with…they usually know how it is. They know I'm not in it for a relationship. And if they don't…I feel bad. I do have a heart, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Look, Ally, just forget about what I said. I don't want you to feel stupid. Sex is a big deal; I'm just an idiot." He muttered. I smiled at him, blinking back tears.

"I know you don't really think that. But thank you." I muttered.

"Anytime." He grinned.

"Well, I'm guessing this doesn't mean you're going to try to change your ways, are you?" I asked. He looked sheepish, but shook his head. I appreciated his honesty, but couldn't help feeling a little disappointed in him.

"Well, whatever. I guess it's your life…but seriously, one day this is going to come back and bite you on the ass." I warned him. He chuckled, slinging an arm around my shoulder causally.

"I'll stop one day. As soon as a certain someone realises a certain something…" he whispered. I frowned in confusion.

"Who? And what?" I asked. He sighed, shaking his head.

"Never mind. Come on; let's go get some ice-cream."

"I thought you were going to go see if that girl would go for you?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Well, after the way you were yelling at me just then, no girl in this mall will go for me. But that's okay…there are other girls. Plus, I'm really craving some fruity mint swirl."

"You hate fruity mint swirl…"

"Shut up, Ally, I was just trying to tempt you."

Somehow, you know I would do almost anything for you, yet you will never figure out exactly why I'd do those things for you. Even though you never say please.

"Ally, can you help me wash my car?"

"Ally, can you finish the song without me?"

"Ally, can you cover my shift?"

"Ally, can you make me some pancakes?"

"Ally, can you find my phone?"

"Ally, can you call the record company?"

"Ally, can you go buy me some pancakes?"

"Ally, can you help me pick an outfit?"

"Ally, can you do my laundry?"

"Ally, can you clean my room?"

"Ally, can you turn off the TV?"

"Ally, can you turn on the light?"

"Ally, can you drive me to this party?"

"Ally, can you get me some aspirin?"

"Ally, can you go order some more pancakes?"

"Ally, can you pass me my green shoes? No, the pink ones. No, the red ones! Wait, no…surprise me."

"Ally, can you book me a flight to New York?"

Ally this, Ally that…all he ever does is ask me to do him favours. He never says please, never says thank you. But I always do it for him anyway. And if he hasn't figured out why by now, he must be pretty damn stupid.

I don't think I even need to write this one. It's so blatantly obvious. Then again, this is you. So I guess I do need to write it. So here goes…

I hate you because you constantly fail to notice how completely, stupidly in love with you I am.

"Ally, can I ask you something?" Austin asked me. We were lying in the grass, enjoying the sunshine. This was the first time we had spent time together and not been writing or rehearsing for God knows how long. I loved it.

"Sure, ask away."

"Why do you put up with me?" he asked. My eyes flew open and I whipped my head around to look at him. His face was closer to my own than I had expected, and it took every ounce of self-control I had to stop myself from answering his question with a kiss.

"I erm…what do you mean?"

"Well, I treat you like crap a lot of the time. I never say please or thank you and I know how much that bugs you usually. And I know it pisses you off to see me with all these different girls. And, I don't know…we never even hang out anymore. We barely see each other when we aren't working. I still think of you as my partner, my friend, but I don't exactly treat you like it. Why do you put up with that? Why don't you just leave me to find another songwriter?" he expanded. I had to take a while to think about it, although I already knew the answer.

"I don't know. I guess…I just know that we're friends, and deep down, you still care about me. You're always so busy…it's not like you do it on purpose. And I know that if I did quit, leave you to find another songwriter…I'd miss you too much. Well, the normal you, maybe not. But the you I see in moments like this…when we're not working, when you're just being yourself, being my friend…I think it's worth it, just for these moments." I explained. He smiled softly.

"Wow…who knew Ally Dawson could be so mushy…or that Austin Moon would totally understand all that mushiness." He whispered, awed. I laughed, rolling my eyes at him. Our eyes met for a moment, and the way he stared at me…I honestly thought he was going to kiss me for a second. Stupid, of course. He never would. No matter how in love with him I am, he will never feel the same way. And hopefully, he would never find out how much I love him.

We stayed in silence for a while, and then I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Austin…there's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked, not even opening his eyes. I smiled at the carefree, relaxed look on his face. He looked happier than I had seen him for a long time, and it physically hurt me to say what I had to say. But I knew I had to tell him.

"I got accepted into a really good music school, but…it's in NYC. I'm going to New York." I blurted. For a second he was silent. Then he opened his eyes and bolted upright, a look of shock on his face.

"Tell me I heard that wrong." He whispered. I shook my head, feeling my eyes fill with tears, and for the first time I saw his eye tears up too. But he shook it off, smiling at me slightly.

"Congratulations, Ally. I know this is your dream…but what about what you just said? About not leaving me?"

"I'm not leaving you…I'll still write songs, and send them to you. And we can still talk. We'll just be in different states." I shrugged. He hugged me then, and I'm pretty sure I felt him crying a little. But then he got up, told me there was somewhere he had to be.

So there you have it, Austin. The ten things I hate about you. Believe me; it took a lot to write this. And it's going to take a lot more to actually give it to you. Hopefully, I'll manage to do it. But if not…I guess these words die here. I just had to get them out.

I'm sorry I'm leaving you. But I couldn't turn down this chance. This is New York. It's a dream come true. I can't say no. I'll miss you, though. I hope you'll still want to speak to me after you've read this. After all, I am in love with you.

Hopefully I'll see you soon.

Love always, Ally.

I slid the letter under Austin's door the night before I was leaving. I hoped he wouldn't find it until after I had gone. He always wakes up late, so he'll probably be in such a rush to pick me up and drive me to the airport that he'll overlook it until he got back. Probably. Hopefully.

When we got to the airport, I was shaking with nerves. I told Austin it was because of New York, but it was mostly because I knew as soon as he got back to his apartment, he would probably find the letter.

He carried my bags into the airport, despite my protests. Once I had checked in, we found a seat in the waiting room and sat in silence, waiting for my flight.

"Which bag is your carry-on?" he asked me randomly. I pointed to the little black Gucci one and he nodded. After a few more minutes I decided that my bladder wasn't going to hold out any longer and got up.

"I'm going to the toilet. Back in a minute." I said, then speed-walked to the toilets.

Eventually the plane came. I hugged Austin goodbye and then I went to get on. Honestly, I had been hoping for something a little more tearful. Maybe a kiss on the cheek, like he had done so many times before.

When I found my seat I got comfortable and then opened my bag. Inside, there were all the things I had packed myself, but sat on the top was a white envelope. Frowning, I picked it up. It said my name on the front, in messy handwriting. I had a feeling I knew what it was about, and my hands were shaking visibly as I opened it.

Ally,

Did you really think I would be asleep the night before you leave me to go to New York? I haven't slept right for days. And because of your impeccable timing, when you slid the envelope under the door, I was just walking into the kitchen. So I saw. And I read it. And here comes my reply.

10 Things I Hate About You

There are a lot of things I hate about you, Ally Dawson. But all of those things can be pretty much summed up in one list. So, here goes.

You never call me on it when I forget to say please or thank you. You shout at Trish and Dez and even your dad if they forget, but never me. Which is why I stopped saying it at all, hoping one day you might call me out on it. But you never did.

You don't realise that I would much rather be with you than on these stupid dates. But I have to keep up the appearance that I'm a player. Half my fame comes from my 'player' status.

You don't realise that when I treat you like 'one of the guys', I'm actually not. I'm honestly asking you for help, or advice. Something I would never ask my guy friends for.

You always look even more perfect than I do. Even when you've just woken up.

You may not realise it, but you hardly ever compliment me on anything either. Not properly, not an actual compliment.

You think I don't buy you things because I don't like you enough. The truth is, the reason I don't buy you things is because I could never stop once I started. If I could, Ally, I would give you the world.

You never flirt back. Sometimes I just need some innocent flirting with you, just to prove that you do see me as something more than your partner, because 'friends' flirt. Dez and Trish do all the time. But you never do, and it hurts.

You refuse to see what's right in front of you. I screw with all those girls because I need something to take my mind off the fact that the one girl I want, I will never have.

You don't know it, because you would never ask me for a favour, but I would do anything for you too. Absolutely anything.

I hate you because you constantly fail to notice how completely, stupidly in love with you I am.

There you go. The truth. I'm still reeling from what I read in your letter. I can't believe it, and I can't understand it. But I'm too selfish to let you leave me without telling you that I love you too. And I hope you come back one day. Because I don't think I could live without you for long.

Love always to you too, Austin.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. I could barely think. All I could hear was this one voice in my head that was screaming at me to GET OFF THE FUCKING PLANE NOW. And I had spent too long ignoring that voice in my head. Someone once told me that you had to trust your instincts. No matter how stupid you think it is, if your heart is telling you to do something, you have to do it. Either that or you spend the rest of your life regretting it.

So, for the first time, I trusted my instincts. I grabbed my bag, ran past the flight attendant, and back the way I came. A few people tried to stop me as I ran back through the corridors leading to the waiting room, but I ignored them. I didn't even think about the fact that my luggage was probably going to end up in New York without me. All I could think about was Austin, and getting to him before he left.

When I finally burst back into the waiting room, I felt my heart stop beating. He wasn't there. Desperately, I ran back through the airport, searching for him. I felt the tears streaming down my face as I realised I could be too late. I mean, a small part of me knew that it would be easy enough to track him down. I knew where he lived, for Christ's sake. But something told me that if I didn't find him in this airport right now, it was all over.

I stopped for a minute to catch my breath, and that was when I saw him. He was on the other side of the lobby area, about to walk through the doors leading to the parking lot. I took off almost instantly, knowing this was my last chance.

"Austin!" I yelled, just as he was climbing into his car. He froze. I kept running, and the stopped a couple yards away from him, barely breathing despite the fact that I was seriously out of breath. Slowly, oh so slowly, he turned around, and surprised and slightly bemused expression on his face.

"Shouldn't you be on the way to New York?" he asked me.

"I got your letter." I panted.

"And?"

"And I knew that I couldn't go to New York without telling you the truth."

"Okay…so what's the truth?"

"The truth is, that letter was a lie."

"Huh?"

"That letter was a lie because I could never hate you. I could never hate anything about you, because I love you too much. I hate myself. I hate myself for letting you get away with everything. I hate myself for never being brave enough to tell you how I felt. And most of all, I hate myself for being weak and falling in love with you." I told him. A smile slowly crept onto his face.

"Really? Well, in that case, my letter was a lie too. I don't hate you either. Although I already knew that. I just thought it would be more fitting to tell you I loved you back the same way you told me you loved me…" he explained. I wasted a few seconds trying to decipher what that meant. Then I shook my head, not caring anymore. And then I wrapped my hands around his neck and I did the thing that that voice inside my head had been telling me to do for years.

I kissed him.

And he kissed me back.