A
Fic by Len
Rating: PG-13 at
worst
Pairing: You may
notice a slight tendency in Hermione to dwell on a certain red haired boy –
I'll leave the conclusions up to you.
Possible Harry/Ginny.
Spoilers: Through
'Goblet of Fire'
Disclaimer: These
characters belong to JK Rowling, the writing style is an attempt to copy Helen
Fieldings, and the only thing I own are the fingers that typed this. Blame Mr Bimble.
Notes: Inspired by
that unbelievably clever poster spoof which you can find here: http://www.wassu.com/giverius/nuyear/index.htm
More notes: Dear God, you say, not another DIARY FIC!! I say: as long as I can make you chuckle, my job here is done. Review and make me a happy little diarist!!
Hermione Granger's
Diary
Occurring Through 5th
Year
Resolutions for this
School Year:
I Will
Complete trial
O.W.L.S. exams at least once a week.
Control temper while
around Ron.
Stop reading silly
teenage witch novels after lights-out and begin stringent campaign of
self-betterment through Wizard Classics.
Learn to accept and
appreciate hair in all its bushiness as step towards achieving greater confidence in
physical appearance.
Show more charity
towards students less academically inclined.
Start tailoring diet
so as not to in any way resemble Millicent Bullstrode by Year 6.
Stop wasting pocket
money on Frizzy Friller's Self-Hatching Chocolate Eggs.
Stop eating Frizzy
Friller's Self-Hatching Chocolate Eggs.
Stop obsessively
collecting prizes that hatch from Frizzy Friller's
Self-Hatching
Chocolate Eggs.
Will finally arrange
current collection of chocolate egg prizes in
easy-to-reference
alphabetical order by collection name (i.e. Peruvian
Pipsqueaks, Popular
Dances of the Genii, and so forth), and let out for air and sun at least 1 a week.
Will become more
relaxed and easy, witty conversationalist.
Accept contradiction
gracefully while holding spirited *meaningful*
discussions with Ron
and not resort to pointless bickering.
I Will Not
Waste money on miracle hair products, since results fail to
grab attention of…anyone.
Dwell on physical
appearance.
Get crushes on boys -
far too time-consuming and distracting when time is better used for studying for O.W.L.S.
Get annoyed w/ other
students for not being as academically concerned as self.
Become annoyed w/
Lavender and Parvati's conversational topics – listen
instead, contribute
helpful hints and become agreeable, relaxed roommate.
Fight with Ron.
Ignore Ron, unless
deserved.
Sneak Owl Lollies to
Pigwidgeon, since already hyperactive, and not *really* that funny to see owl dive at all
students w/ orange hair.
Believe Harry when he
says everything is *fine*.
Accept anything given
to me by a Weasley twin.
Ingest anything w/
*slightest* possibility of coming from a Weasley twin.
And above all, will
absolutely, positively not allow thoughts to dwell on following:
Possibility of
painful death, You-Know-Who, D. Malfoy's insults, lack of summer vacation, Bulgaria, Quiddich,
chocolate frogs, maroon sweaters, chess games, red hair, crooked smile, Divinations or blue eyes.
Oh, God. Am starting
already. Is going to be an *unbearable* year.
TBC...
Review! Review!