I'm Sorry

Summary: "Do you still hate her?" Silence perched between them once again. "Apparently, I do."

Ratings: Rated T for safety

Disclaimers: Fairy Tail® by Mashima Hiro; I'm Sorry® by Gumm ft TOP

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When the morning comes will I be able to see you again? I'll love you like the first time we met.

Gray Fullbuster inwardly cursed whilst his left hand crumpled the piece of paper his close friend slash rival named Natsu handed to him fifteen minutes ago. It was a letter from her, Lucy Heartfillia, his first love.

And also his first heart aches.

The raven haired Ice Make Mage leant his shoulder against the window frame and with hollow-like expression etched on his handsome face, he absently gazed at the scenery outside his apartment.

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No matter how much time passes us, everyone blesses us. For some reason, your seat feels so empty, all day I cry.

Gray let out an exasperated sigh before a hand in frustrated manner run through his black spiky hair. How many years has it been since she'd left without saying anything? She'd disappeared out from their lives— HIS life— and left nothing, even just a small note, she left nothing behind.

She had left them without a single bit of hesitation and that crushed his heart painfully.

For few months after she had disappeared Gray was always staring absently into nothingness. His guild mates counted the times a sigh escaped his lips. And Gray actually broke a record with only a month passed by.

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I'm sorry for hurting you.

Lucy,

Where are you? Why did you disappear? Why won't you tell us where you are?

Gray

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I'm sorry for doing nothing for you. I'm sorry for not forgetting you.

Lucy,

Damn it Lucy! You fucking answer me! Where the hell are you, woman?!

Gray

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I'm sorry, but today, I want to see you one last time.

Lucy,

I want to see you. I miss you every single day. Where are you? Please come back. Please.

Gray

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Out of all those girls, you caught my eye. She's beautiful like the main character in a movie, I couldn't get her out of my mind.

Despite the fact that he doesn't know her exact location and doesn't have any idea where to send these letters— that started to pile on his desk— he keeps on writing for Lucy, hoping that one day these messages and his feelings poured onto the letter will reach her and will eventually the reason of her return.

But it was as if reality slapped him on his cheek every time the nervous post man handed back the letters— with no address to receiver— to him.

Everything changed in Gray. He used to laugh, smile, get mad (mainly towards Natsu) and used to yell around that was when Lucy was still with them. But now Gray turned as cold as his magical abilities. He became so reserved, quiet and not even reacting whenever Natsu tried to start a fight with him.

After Lucy disappeared, he became an empty shell. A shell with large cracked on it.

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But I gave you scars, my sincere apology is late. I'll give you all my tears, please forgive me, I'll beg on my knees.

Dear Gray,

I heard about the news. I'm pretty sure Juvia will be a wonderful wife for you. She's a very nice lady and I'm sure you'll be happy with her. I will be cheering for the both of you from afar. I really wish I could tell you where I am but I can't.

Please don't worry about me though, I'm doing fine.

Love, Lucy

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Please give me a chance. I was so sorry I ripped up all the letters. I just have something to say, give me a minute.

"Lu-chan...?" a shock Levy stood before her blonde best friend.

A wide smile formed on Lucy's pink lips, "Hello, Levy-chan." she greeted back. "Two years huh?" she added followed by a humorless chuckle.

Few second passed before Levy— the blue haired future Mrs. Redfox looked as if she was about to faint; she open and close her lips looking like a fish inside an aquarium — leaped and tackled Lucy into a tight hug.

"Oh Lu-chan!" she sobbed, nuzzling her petite face against Lucy's warm chest. "Where were you? What happened? Why did you disappear like that?" Levy almost sounded like a mother reprimanding her child but then she furrowed her eyebrows together when she noticed that something was different on her blonde best friend.

Lucy of course look magnificent on her simple pink dress, that falls down Lucy's knee, but when Levy narrowed her dark brown eyes and looked on Lucy's pretty face closely, there were dark circles under Lucy's brown eyes and despite the light make accentuating her hear shaped face, Lucy looked tired and... sick.

"What happened to you Lu-chan?" Levy asked, understanding her blonde best friend's dilemma almost immediately after her light observation, choking in the huge sob that was trying to escape from her.

Lucy formed another smile, and this time it's almost as if she was only forcing herself, "Nothing, I'm perfectly fine." She simply said.

Levy and Lucy stared at each other at first before a big and painful sob seized Levy's entire being. She nuzzled against Lucy once again and cried. "Oh, Lu-chan..."

Lucy remained smiling though her eyes looked so hallow and empty as her hands absently stroking Levy back.

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If you still want me in your heart, I'll hold you like that day when we were happy. Those past days were hard for you, no one lent a helping hand.

"Lucy is here."

Gray tried his best not to cringe nor to twitch when Lucy's name came out from Natsu. He stayed facing the whole body mirror fixed on the wall and acted as if he was fixing his necktie, despite Erza fixing it for him few minutes ago.

"So?" he replied rather coldly after the long silence between him and his salmon headed nakama.

"Do you still hate her?"

Silence perched between them once again.

"Apparently, I do." he answered before walking down towards the door, ignoring the heated gaze coming from Natsu.

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I'll always be on your side, I won't burden you any more. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for not doing anything for you.

Lucy was standing on the Kardia Cathedral's large twin door. She watched the wedding ceremony in silence, hiding behind the shadow of the wide door of the said fame church.

A small smile, that didn't reached her chocolate eyes, formed while watching Gray and Juvia exchanged their vows sweetly.

When Gray whispered the words 'I do' Lucy felt her stomach cringed painfully but she remained the perpetual smile plastered on her lips.

"Is there anyone opposing this marriage?" the priest asked after the couple's 'I do's.

Levy straightened her back and gasped, Mira who was one of the bridesmaids along with Levy and was sitting next to the blue haired member of Shadow Gear blinked her eyes in surprise at Levy when the latter suddenly whipped her head towards the large twin door of the church.

"Levy, what's wrong?" the sexy barmaid asked genuinely curious.

Levy stared intently, almost looking hopeful, at the door. "Say something." she whispered, sounding desperately. "Come on."

Mira blinked her eyes once again before dragging her confused eyes at the door. Her curvaceous body froze when she saw the familiar Celestial Mage standing quietly on the door step, watching the ceremony with nothing on her pretty face but a small fake smile across her lips. 'Lucy-chan?!'

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I'm sorry because I couldn't forget you. I'm sorry, but today, I want to see you one last time.

"Lucy is here."

Words of Natsu echoed inside his head. Gray wanted to roamed his dark cerulean eyes around the guests gathere inside the cathedral, inwardly hoping to spot the familiar golden haired he was so enamored with among the visitors.

He smiled at his bride and soon-to-be-wife when he felt he squeezing his hands a little tighter. She must've felt his waving thought. Juvia only smiled back.

'If you're here Lucy. Say it. Say you're against it.' he mentally said, almost as if he's begging. 'Lucy!'

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How many pains? How many accidents? How many tears you shed alone? How many pains? How many accidents? How many tears hurt you?

But Lucy remained silent. She tilted her face downward causing for her golden fringes to veiled and hide her caramel orbs. Levy saw Lucy mouthed something, but the blue haired Mage couldn't understand it, before the blonde Celestial Mage turned her back and walked away.

Levy wanted to stand up and follow her best friend but she knew that it will be rude to everyone especially to Juvia and Gray if she's going to make a scene while the wedding is still going on.

Regretfully, she forced to pull her face back at the couple and gripped her white bride maid's dress in silence.

Levy slightly jumped when she felt Mira's warm palm over her quivering fists. Levy snapped her eyes at Mira and met the latter kind and soft smile down to her.

"She will be fine." she said, though she too did not sound so sure.

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I'm sorry for hurting you.

Everyone was happily chatting inside the new and larger-than-before Fairy Tail guild where the reception of the wedding was happening. Everyone cheered and teased the newlyweds.

Juvia, adorned with soft blush dusting her cheeks, timidly said her 'thanks' to everyone who congratulated her and Gray, even the grieving Lyon Bastia gave his best wishes for the couple. Gray was sitting beside her, with a smile, he rolled his dark blue eyes and exchanged retorts with Natsu who was teasing the raven haired Mage.

"Shut up. Ask Lisanna or forever hold your piece, ash brain." Gray chuckled when Natsu pouted childishly at him.

"I'm working on it, pervert ice face." Natsu retorted back before walking back to his table where Lisanna and her siblings were sitting.

Gray leant on Juvia's ear and whispered, "I'm just going to the men's room. Be right back." he said and planted a quick kiss on Juvia's lips. The latter, with a soft blush on her cheeks, nodded and watched her husband walked towards the men's comfort room.

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I'm sorry for not forgetting you.

Outside FT's guild, with one hand gripping her left elbow, Lucy melancholically looked up at the large guild that she considered her home two years ago.

Lucy could hear the laughter and cheering of the occupants coming from the guild, with that a sincere smile graced her lips before she decided to flexed her toes, bit her bottom lip and tooked steps away from the guild.

With her third step, Lucy twitched after hearing a shock, "Lucy?" coming from her back.

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I'm sorry for not forgetting you.

Lucy's shoulder froze, inwardly debating whether she should turn around or continue walking away. Finally realizing that she had enough running away, Lucy heaved a deep breathe before turned around to face Gray.

Gray, with mixture of shock and confusion dancing on his handsome face, merely stared at her for few second. Gray frowned a little. Sure Lucy looked stunning beautiful wearing that pink dress. But he noticed, despite the make-up Lucy looked pale, paler than before.

Awkward silence lingered between the two.

"You were about to leave without saying anything." he said accusingly.

Lucy did not respond.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

Lucy looked around but not to Gray's dark blue eyes. "C-congratulations," she stuttered.

"That's not what I'm expecting for you to say." he growled.

Lucy sighed before intertwining her hands behind her back. "I know." she said softly and for the first time, Lucy looked straight at Gray's dark blue eyes.

"I can't tell you Gray— or rather I won't tell you anything except congratulations." she said with her pretty and pale face void with any emotions. "I gues... I finally understood that you deserved each other, that's why I left." she said woefully.

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I'm really sorry.

"I'm sorry." that was her last words before she turned around. Her pink dress twirled in process whilst her golden hair swayed behind her as she walked away.

Away from his life once again.

Gray had this disturbing fear that Lucy was now walking away from his life. And this time it might be forever.

Gray wanted to lift his hand and scream, 'Don't go!' but his feet was glued onto the ground. And an invisible clog block his throat.

He only watched her disappeared from his view. From his life.

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I love you.

The stinging sensation on Lucy's brown eyes grew unbearable that before she could even stop herself, she started crying. The tears Lucy was trying to held inside her started to welled out her eyes the moment she turned her back at Gray.

Dear Gray,

Every morning that came I always thought. Will I ever see you again? And if I do will you ever forgive me for being a coward? I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for doing nothing for you. I'm sorry for not forgetting you. I'm sorry, but today I want to see you one last time. If you still want me in your heart. I'll be waiting for you, Gray. I'm still here, Gray. I'm waiting.

Love, Lucy

The sorrow and loneliness inside her chest grew unbearable as well while she tried to widen the distance between her and the only man she ever loved.

Her shivering hand run through the artificial hair she had bought six months ago. The grief she refused to show in front of her best friend, especially to Gray, finally burst out free.

"I'm sorry Miss Heartfillia but you have stage three cancer."

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Sabrina's Musing Corner: Did you guys know that while writing this Sabrina is actually crying T_T she remembered her mom because of this... Sabrina missed her so much... *sigh* :( 9:32 PM: Tried editing the story hehe~~~

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Did Sabrina cover everything…? Feel free to ask question if you guys still have one.

Well anyways, please support my story. Read and Review please.

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