A/N: Hi! So, here it is. Harry's First Year, as told by a cat who was raised by Snape.

...I'm not sure how that will work out.

Chapter One: Some Sorting Traditions

Menace stretched lazily at the foot of her Potions Master's bed. The quiet of early morning was going to soon be dismantled, however, for today, as Menace knew from the mere eager crackling from the stones of Hogwarts herself, was Sorting Day.

Everything attached to Hogwarts with a half a brain (omitting her Potions Master, naturally; he had more than half a brain, but he dedicated it to his Potions and his Dark Arts and Menace had long accepted her Potions Master as is) could feel it in their very bones, if they had them. They knew and they either growled in irritation at their peace being disturbed (such as her Potions Master) or they rejoiced (such as Hogwarts and Menace herself) at the thought of students returning.

And Librarian of course (for Menace at least).

Menace liked her. The strict woman let her sleep on the tops of the bookshelves, which was an enjoyable pass time, along with feeding her treats.

It took little to convince Menace to like someone.

It took much more for her to trust them.

And that trust, which could have so easily been won in her kitten-hood, grew to true cat-like precision with the aid of Mrs. Norris who had taken Menace under her paw to teach her the ropes of Hogwarts. However, neither could agree on how to feel about students.

Mrs. Norris hated them all with a fiery passion that Menace couldn't understand.

Menace, however, loved the students. Marcus was, naturally, her favorite of the students, though there were a few in Hufflepuff (such as Cedric) that she liked as well, and even in Griffindor (she actually liked George and Fred, for reasons that were her own to dictate, if she wished to) she had some, though Ravenclaws rarely pet her how she liked it for her to collect many likable students there.

However, of them all, it was Slytherin that held her heart.

Which, naturally, made sense.

They were hers.

She resisted the urge to hiss slightly and let out a dignified sniff when her Potions Master flipped his blanket over her, shaking her out of her thoughts. She wriggled out and glared at him.

"I am very displeased with you," she informed him.

"You are always displeased with me in the mornings Menace. Why should today, of all days, be any different?" Severus answered.

"I wouldn't be displeased if you didn't flick your bed coverings over me every morning. You are perfectly able to get out of bed in the mornings without disturbing my thoughts," Menace retorted.

"Don't sleep at the foot of my bed and I won't do that," Severus retorted.

Menace's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Severus, you are my Wizard, my Potions Master, and are the voice box to my House," Menace began to argue, ignoring his snort at that and her eyes narrowed dangerously.

Vengeance would be swift and sweet.

And colder than that winter night in which Severus had first found her in.

"I have earned the right, and would deserve it whether I have earned it or not, to sleep on the foot of your bed and not be disturbed in the mornings," she continued, her tail lashing in irritation before she settled it over her front paws tightly.

She had not grown much, which was fine. She was a beautiful example of feline beauty. Severus had said so himself.

Of course, right now she was considering him to be a cruel and vicious brute when he seemed to be hiding his laughter.

With an irritated flick her tail, Menace jumped down gracefully and left the quarters they shared, keeping her pace regulated.

Very well.

Let's see who was laughing when she cuddled with Minnie.

Menace pretended that the increased purring was from the piece of sausage Minnie fed her and not the 'Death Glare' Severus was sending her as she ate daintily from the cat in woman's skin's fingers. "Severus, what are you doing to this dear creature?" she stated and Menace immediately let out a pitiful 'mew' (Menace, at this time in her life, had long given up having a great and powerful call like her mother, or even Mrs. Norris), widening her eyes slightly to look pathetically up at Minnie.

"She's a snake in cat's skin," Severus hissed and Menace immediately purred brilliantly at the compliment, even as Severus served himself some porridge.

"Don't forget to put honey in there to sweeten your disposition," Menace stated.

Severus let out a snarl about 'I'll show you a sweetened disposition', but Menace was already bounding away, easily darting around the Bright One's eye-smarting robes, before she sped up, tearing off through the castle.

She had exploring to get done before students came.

*Menace,* Mrs. Norris greeted and Menace gave a tail twitch in greeting, eyes not leaving the odd snake she had found.

It was speaking of Speaker.

*What does the overgrown worm want?* Mrs. Norris questioned in irritation, ignoring the warning hiss that came from the snake.

The snake was beautiful, really. A deep black that had patterns of silver dancing across it. It came from the Forbidden Forest, and she turned to give Mrs. Norris a narrow eyed look. *I am speaking with him. He says a Speaker is coming. I wish to know what he means,* Menace retorted and focused back on the snake.

He hissed another warning at Mrs. Norris before he focused on Menace once more.

*A Sssspeaker. Sssspeakersss rare. Ssssspeakerssss don't come anymore. Sppppeaker of the Sssserpentsssss is coming,* the snaked explained.

*Ah. Well…that makes things interesting. I believe. How can I find him so I may bring forth his description in scent to you?* Menace asked, ignoring Mrs. Norris disgusted sound that Menace had even bothered to wander through holes in the wards so she could go to the Forbidden Forest and learn the languages of every Beast she could.

It was foolish to be ignorant when one had the way to get rid of that ignorance.

*Wissssse Kitten,* the snake stated and Menace pressed her ears back into her head until they disappeared in irritation.

Despite the fact she was, technically, an adult, many cats, and other creatures, referred to her as 'Kitten' still.

*You will know. You ssssseek knowledge. You sssssavor knowledge. You will know. All will know,* the snake answered and then quickly slithered away.

*That is still disgusting that you can speak to them,* Mrs. Norris stated and Menace gave a cat-shrug before she focused on Mrs. Norris.

*Your disapproval is noted Mrs. Norris. Is there anything I can aid you with?* Menace inquired.

*Ritual must be met,* Mrs. Norris stated.

Menace gave a nod and soon the two cats were trotting off.

It was true.

They had a ritual to meet.

Speech Key:

"Familiar to Wizard/Witch Speech"

*Magical Creature to Magical Creature Speech* (And, yes, this is 'average human translation' so we can understand what is said)

"Sssssnake Ssssspeech" (I am not spelling out the actual word.

A/N: For anyone wondering, Menace is odd, even by Magical Cat Standards. She actively searches out knowledge. Most cats don't speak with snakes and visa-versa. The fact Menace can is mostly due to herself. As noted by Mrs. Norris, the average consensus among the Magical Feline Community is parallel to the Wizarding Community (though Menace insists that it is visa-versa, as humans, Magical or Muggle, are meant to serve cats and, thus, their society reflects their own).

Beside the point, I am enjoying playing merry havoc with J.K. Rowling's verse that she created, especially since we never learned much about Familiars and I always wondered how Dumbledore got along with Fawkes and such.

...Have I mentioned this is an AU?

I mean, beyond the obvious.

Hopefully not severe.

...I'm done now.