Blind
Lovers' Motel 23 Crystal Ave I reread the text message I had just received a few more times, just to make sure I was seeing things right. I guess Sasuke must need me to pick him up from one of his 'sex nights', as I call them.
Oh, great, he sent this to me in the morning. He's going to kill me when I get there but he knows I don't check my phone messages until after class. I wonder why he didn't just call me first… or after I didn't show up after the first hour. Well, whatever, I better hurry up and get him.
Leaving the college dorm room he and I share together, I quickly made my way to the car. I went to the GPS amp on my phone and dialed in the location of the motel I need to get to and followed the instructions there.
When I got there I couldn't see Sasuke anywhere and when he didn't answer his phone I got worried. I turned the car off and entered the building. I was a little reluctant to do so, seeing as it was a pleasure house and all.
I went over to the receptionist, who smiled upon seeing me, looking awkward and uncomfortable. He obviously thought this was my first time coming here for this kind of thing. That would make him half right, seeing as this was my first time being here except it just wasn't for the reasons he thought I was.
"Hi, I'm uh here to pick someone up." I said slowly.
I have this feeling that's going to be taken the wrong way. He smiled encouragingly and a little suggestively and I decided anything I said would be taken the wrong way. I should just get this over with and save myself from any more torment I'm bound to get if I try convincing him I'm here strictly under innocent pretenses.
"Look, I'm here for Sasuke." I told him bluntly. "What room?"
I knew Sasuke was going to be pissed but was this really necessary? I am so going to get him for this. Anyway, the man looked surprised to hear his name. I had a brief moment where I dared to hope he would somehow know I wasn't here for pleasure. That hope was quickly crushed when his smirk slid over his face, very seductive-like.
"So you're a seme, eh?" The man said. "Maybe you and me could have some fun sometime then?"
"Could you just tell me which room he's in? …Please?" I asked.
I desperately wanted to get Sasuke and get the hell out of here. And why would he think I… oh, right, Sasuke always bottoms, if his limping is any indication. The receptionist told me the room I could find him in and I quickly made my way there. I decided I didn't want to know why Sasuke is so popular here. Okay… so that's pretty obvious, the better word would be 'how' and I do not want to know.
123, 125, 127… ah here it is, 132! I hesitated with my hand on the door, what if this was the wrong number—you never know, he could have mixed up the numbers—or Sasuke decided to have some fun while he waited and is actually expecting someone? Come on Naruto, get a grip! Grow a pair! It wouldn't be the first time you've seen him naked… or horny for that matter. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
"Hey Sasuke, sorry it—uh…"
Oh. My. God! I did not expect this. I gave my chained up friend with a raging hard on the once over. I then drew my attention to the demolished room. I had a rather vivid idea of what might have happened here and it would explain why he's so popular here. Yeah… I wish I didn't know. I felt heat pour down to my groin and I swallowed thickly. For once, I wish I wasn't so imaginative and perverted. I then turned my attention back to Sasuke and stared. He was blushing, obviously embarrassed with his situation and probably with what he knew I had figured out by looking around the room.
I gave an awkward cough and started to walk over to Sasuke. "I'll just untie you now…" Sasuke merely nodded. I could guess who he'd been with last night since he's tied up. They're the only ones who leave Sasuke with some kind of… problem.
Reaching for the chains I realized I needed a key for them.
"You know where the key is for these?" I asked.
"No, not a clue." Sasuke replied.
"…Well, I'm not going to find it in here, that's for sure." I said giving the room a scan. "And no way in hell am I talking to that attendant down there."
"Why? …Wait, never mind, I can guess." Sasuke said, his face heating up.
It's amusing really, how he can be so sexually active and be around anybody else and take all sexual innuendos and what have you in stride but as soon as I'm in the picture he gets all innocent and embarrassed. It sure is amusing but it's also really cute. I really like him so it's really frustrating to know he's going off and having sex with so many people. Somewhere along the way I became one of them.
I sigh, looking around for something to pick the locks with. I find something, have no idea what is it, but judging from the look on Sasuke's face he does. I don't ask, I can also guess this was used, as I'm sure everything is but I don't want to know. I probably won't touch it again if I do. I have a perverted enough mind that I could probably figure out what it does. I'll think about that later, when I don't need it.
Anyway, I got the locks undone. Sasuke pulled his hands free and rubbed at his wrists as he got into a more upright position. I glanced at the bed, hesitated a moment, sat down beside him and decided to ignore the sticky feeling I had on my exposed legs, having been wearing shorts and what that meant was getting all over said shorts.
"Ah… Naruto, you're sitting in…" Sasuke trailed off.
"I know, I'm pointedly trying to ignore it." I said. "You going to take care of that or shall I?"
Sasuke blushed; I was talking about his hard on. Sasuke shuffled a bit but didn't say anything. That meant me. For some reason he found it too embarrassing to say it aloud… with me. I never ask, I know he would feel uncomfortable with telling me and will end up avoiding my 'helping' him for a while, scared I'll ask again.
I move in behind Sasuke, so his back is to my chest and he's between my legs. He leans back into me as my legs slip over his to make sure they stay open. I hear his heavy breathing hitch, knowing exactly what I'm going to do next, eager for it. I wrap one arm around his waist, holding him to me and reach the other one down to his hard on.
At first my hand strokes him slowly and he wiggled a bit, wanting more. I'm teasing him, I know it. I deny him what he wants. I lavish his neck and ear with affectionate kisses and nibbles. I wait until he starts whimpering, begging me for more before I speed up suddenly and he gasps and moans. His heads thrown back and my name's escaping his lips and he's mewling now too. Then it's over. He reaches his climax and his cum lands on the sheets and all over my hand.
I start licking my hand clean. I've always liked his taste. Sasuke watched, he always does, transfixed. He swallows thickly. He's probably just becoming aware of my full blown hard on I have tucked away in my pants. He looks tired, worn out. I look around the room again and decide it wouldn't be fair to ask him to give to me in return. I move out from behind him and go retrieve his clothes. He looks surprised when I turn back to him. He thought I was going to ask for it too. I smile at him as I give him his clothes. He looks at me uncertainly, he wants to know why.
"You've had a long day—night. Don't worry about it, I'll survive." I tell him.
He blinks a few times before giving me a small smile. His expression is a little shy, I'm not sure why. He gets dressed and still I have no idea what I did that made him all shy. He's having trouble walking so I pick him up and start carrying him out of here. He makes a small sound, I thought at first it was surprise, then realize it's contentment as his arms wrap around my neck and he tucks his head under my chin. I smile even as I continue to try to figure out what the shy smile was about.
I think about the state of the room we just left, the attendant's reaction to Sasuke's name earlier and I realize what it is. He's never been given pleasure without returning it in some way and it's a new feeling for him. I reach the receptionist, who gives me a lecherous smile and I know Sasuke's about to speak, pay for all night and this morning and the 20 minutes I was here with him and rush to pay for the morning for him and my being here. He can pay the time with them. That was his time, after was my fault for not being here… and I wanted to pay for the part he couldn't do anything about.
He tells me the amount and the lecherous look has left his face because he realizes I really was here just to get Sasuke. Why else would I pay for any of his time here unless this is more than just a 'fun pass time'? I blanch at the cost but don't regret offering to pay. I look down at my arms holding Sasuke and ask him to grab my wallet for me. He frowned at me, obviously not wanting to, not wanting me to pay but he does grab my wallet from my back pocket, grabs my credit card and tosses it to the attendant who catches it and swipes it for me. Sasuke leans across and types in my code for me, I give it to him to buy things when he's low on cash and really wants something, then puts my card back in my wallet and slips it back into my back pocket.
Sasuke gives me another disapproving stare before settling back into me. I smile down at him, he knows I'd make sure he got that money if I had to slip him a dollar a day to do it. I hear a gasp from the attendant and I look over at him. He looks back and forth between Sasuke and me and then just gapes at me. I look at Sasuke and he shrugs, he has no idea what's up with him either.
"Um, are you okay?" I asked not sure if I should be asking or not.
"My god, you… Sasuke you are blind." He said. "Him I can understand, but you? Oh no, there's no excuse for you…"
Sasuke and I looked at each other, looking very confused. Neither of us had any idea what he was talking about. I said bye and left, he was still gaping at us when I glanced back. I shook my head and went to my car. Sasuke reached out and opened the back door. I placed him gently in it and brushed strands of hair from his face. Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes as he settled into the seats, he was lying down.
I was worried. They always left him the worst for ware. He can never walk the first three days and is barely going to be able to walk the rest of the week. I hate it when he goes to see them. He's so vulnerable afterwards, so physically weakened. It isn't right. I remember after the first time I never thought he'd go back to them. He hates those things more than I do but he did and still does. I learned a long time later, with great embarrassment from Sasuke, that he only did because he knew I'd make sure he was alright after. I didn't know if I should have been happy or upset about that but I had softened up and smiled at him and hugged him reassuringly after he told me.
Getting into the front seat I start up the car and head back to school. Sasuke has fallen asleep and I have the radio off so it can't disturb him. Despite my attempts at avoiding it, my thoughts wonder back to them, Orochimaru and Kabuto, Sasuke told me their names once. I can't help but think about all the things I've done to take care of him after they had their fun.
I sigh, there's no use letting it get to me now. I just wish Sasuke wouldn't let them treat him like that. It's Sasuke's choice to make and I won't fight him on it but I can't help but worry about what might happen in the time that he's alone and for me to show up. I mean, what if some sadistic guy decided to go into his room today and beat him up or something? I don't want anything to happen to him. I just don't know—
"It really bothers you, doesn't it?" Sasuke asked.
I jumped in surprise with a yelp, almost stirring the car into a ditch in the process. I gave a quick glance back to see him awake and staring at me expectantly. I took a deep breath to calm my pounding heart.
"Yeah, it does." I admitted.
Sasuke didn't say anything and I knew he was waiting for more. I could feel my face heating up. I know the main reason was concern for him but it was partly selfish too.
"I worry about you Sasuke." I said.
"Worry?" Sasuke sounded confused.
"Call me paranoid but I know something bad could happen and that worries me." I said.
I could sense it bothered Sasuke, my disapproval but he wasn't saying anything. I knew he wasn't for two reasons. Those being, he was asking me and it wasn't me trying to convince him to do anything differently.
"Sasuke, I'm not trying to convince you of anything." I said softly. "I can't help it if I worry about you. I just don't want anything to happen to you."
Sasuke sighed and I knew his frustration had just gone out the window. He knew I was an over-protective guy and I would worry at times when others wouldn't. He knew I just wanted to make sure he was safe, that he didn't get hurt and he couldn't bring himself to be mad at me for that.
I parked my car in the school lot and went to retrieve Sasuke. I helped support him as we made our way to our dorm, his pride would not let me carry him in public.
"That can't be the only reason it bothers you Naruto." Sasuke said.
I glanced at him to see him looking at me. He wasn't sure if I would admit it or deny it. I realized then this is what he had wanted to know all along. He would have already known I worried over him. He wanted to know the selfish reasons why I didn't want him to do what he did. He wanted me to tell him the things I'd never say, not unless it meant as a confession of my feelings for him. I entertained that idea a moment before tossing it aside. This was not the time. I thought carefully about what I should say.
"I have selfish thoughts, just like everyone else." I said slowly, finally. "That doesn't mean I'm going to act on them."
"I'm not asking you to act on them." Sasuke argued.
"…Why do you want to know?" I asked.
Sasuke looked away, unwilling to divulge the information. He couldn't hold my gaze so I knew it had to do with his own selfish reasons. We stopped at our dorm and I opened the door. Once inside, now away from prying eyes, Sasuke collapses against me. I'm prepared for this, have expected it, and lift him up into my arms. This part is all routine.
I started to make my way to his room then stopped short and looked to the washroom. I looked down at him, he usually liked to shower first, no matter how tired he was, but that isn't always so. I look inquisitively at him and he shakes his head. So, no shower tonight, I head for his room.
"No," Sasuke said, "I want to go to yours."
I stop and look down at him surprised. He's never said that before. I have a brief surge of worry that something happened but no that can't be, he would have told me if something happened. He might not give me any details right away but he'd say something happened. Even if it were only those two words, 'something happened', he'd let me know.
Whatever reason he had for wanting to spend the night with me, I'd let hm stay either way so I change direction to my room. I place him gently on my bed and he curls up on his side, obviously tired. I kneel down in front of him.
"You need anything?" I asked reaching a hand out to smooth back his hair.
"Just you." Sasuke murmured.
At first I'm surprised again but then I realize what's happening. He's been half asleep since I picked him up when we got in. I've never asked any of these questions when he's already so close to sleep before. These are honest answers, what he actually feels. He wants to say 'your room' when he gets back but is afraid to and the things he has me do are just to make me linger longer because he wants me to stay.
"I'm here." I said, settling down on the floor.
He smiles at me, looking so glad to hear it, and close his eyes to sleep. I just realize right now that I've taken his hand and have interlaced our fingers. I reconsider if that smile was for what I said or my taking his hand. I decide to take it as both. I place my head in the crook of my arm as I lean my upper body forward onto the bed and watch him sleep.
I know he won't wake up until sometime tonight so I watch unashamed as he sleeps for the next hour. As I lean back into an upright position I groan at the stiffness from staying in one position too long. I stretch on the spot or as much as I can sitting on the floor.
I stared down at our hands a moment before I opened a drawer and retrieve my iPod and then start to listen to music as a way to pass time. I laid my head back down onto my arms and closed my eyes, letting myself get lost in the music.
Thanks to this though I nearly had a heart attack when Sasuke smacked me on the head. With a yelp I threw myself backwards and crashed on the floor. I stared at the ceiling for a minute before I realized what happened. The buds were pulled from my ears. I turned to see Sasuke take them. He raised an eyebrow at me.
"You're trying to kill me." I stated.
"Why would I do that?" Sasuke snorted.
"I don't know but there were better ways at getting my attention, you just chose to ignore them." I said.
Sasuke's silence proved I was right. I sat back up, scrambling to catch my iPod when he suddenly tossed it back at me. Sasuke was staring at me when I looked back up at him. Apparently, he thought I might use them to ignore him in retaliation. Not a far-fetched idea but I didn't feel like ignoring him and certainly not with music that I've listened to over twenty times already today. I turn the iPod off and put it away.
"So… did you want to shower now or something?" I asked.
"I want to know why I'm in your room." Sasuke said.
"You don't remember?" I blinked in surprise.
"No… Why? What happened?" Sasuke asked warily.
"Nothing happened, you just wanted to sleep in my room." I said raising a brow.
"Oh…" Sasuke said softly. "I'll just go back now."
He meant his room. I stared at him a moment, saw that he was a little afraid. Weird, I wonder why. He started to sit up and I scrambled upward, realizing I'd just sat there and stared. Stupid, stupid Naruto, now he thinks I don't want him here. I gently touched his shoulders and put a little pressure on them to urge him back down.
"Hey, hey it's no biggy, you can stay here." I said.
He was staring up at me, wouldn't lay back down. I stopped, settled for crouching in front of the bed where he was and looked up at him, a hand on his thigh caressing him encouragingly. He had one of those looks on his face. He wanted to know something, was confused. He would ask any second now.
"I want to know why." Sasuke said.
"You'll have to be more specific Sasuke." I said. "Contrary to popular belief, I can't read your mind."
"Why you're taking care of me." Sasuke clarified.
"Why I'm… why wouldn't I take care of you?" I asked in disbelief and bewilderment. "You need me so of course I am."
"You don't like it though." Sasuke said.
"What? I like taking care of you." I said.
He blinked a few times in surprise. He shook his head. Okay, he wasn't talking about that but apparently it was still news to him. Okay, so what about this do I not like? Oh!
"You mean the whole sex buddying thing?" I asked.
Sasuke nodded. He was staring at me. This was really important to him. I nodded, more to myself than him. I considered how to explain this to him.
"No… I don't like it but that doesn't mean I'm not going to take care of you Sasuke." I said. "If you need me Sasuke I'm going to be there. I would never turn my back on you just because I don't like something… I'd never turn my back on you under any circumstances."
"You must know I'm bound to go less if I don't have you for everything that comes after. If you're concerned, wouldn't not coming to me all the time be a good thing?" Sasuke asked.
"No, of course not! Sasuke, I can't leave you when you need me. I'd never be able to live with myself if I did!" I said. "I can't stand to see you suffer. I could never make you go through with everything alone, it'd kill me inside and I know if I were to not come when you called for me that would hurt you too. I'd hate myself if I did something like that.
"If this isn't enough of a reason then look at it this way. What if, on one of those times when I'm saying 'no', something happened to you? That would kill me, thinking that could have been avoided if I just went to you when you called for me. Sasuke, I'll not have you suffer when you need me, when I can do something to ease that suffering. I'll not risk the chance because of selfish desires and concerns that are so highly unlikely to happen."
"Desires?" Sasuke said. "Y…your selfish desires?"
I blanched. Well, great, that might not have been the best wording choice. If I had only worded that right Sasuke would have understood and accepted it but no-o-o-o, I had to go and say 'selfish desires' and that changed things. By using the word 'desire' I had put the selfish reasoning on a more intimate level and I just know he's not going to drop this until he's got his answer.
"Yes, selfish desires…" I sighed in resignation.
"What does that mean Naruto?" Sasuke demanded.
I opened my mouth to confess to him but then stopped short. Had I really just heard desperation in his voice? Maybe even, dare I think it… hope? Or was I just wanting to hear it so I was fabricating it? I consider that, no I don't think I was. I know what I want but I've never been one to trick myself into hearing what isn't there.
I've always known there was some chance that Sasuke liked me or would at least give us a shot. I was more concerned how our relationship would be if that didn't work out than him rejecting me. I never had the courage to risk what I did have with him to ask for more but if I didn't, how could I expect Sasuke to? Even I know I'm all he really has. It's probably more terrifying to him than me and he needs to know I truly want this to risk it himself. Fuck, why must I be so blind all the time?!
"It means I really like—" I stopped myself, that wasn't what I felt. "It means I love you."
Sasuke made a choking sound and his eyes were filled with uncertainty. Those eyes were swimming with emotions. His eyes were always the way to knowing how he felt, he could mask everything else almost flawlessly. Right now though, anybody could read him. He was that vulnerable right now. Oh god, he really wanted this. Thank god he really wanted this.
"I love you Sasuke." I said moving beside him on the bed. "Only you, always you, forever you."
"Naruto…" Sasuke said.
He was pulling away. He was still too scared to risk it. I reached out and lightly grabbed his arm. I gave a tug, he resisted. I let go, he looked away. I moved in behind him and wrapped my arms around him, he jumped in surprise but didn't resist this time. He fell back against me.
"Please Sasuke, we could be so good together." I whispered in his ear.
"Only minutes ago it was a secret." Sasuke retorted.
"So I was scared Sasuke. I was scared of what I didn't know."
"There are still things you don't know."
"Then we'll discover them and conquer them if they get in our way."
"And if we don't, if things change, if it doesn't last?"
"…I'll never stop loving you Sasuke, I mean that but if it didn't work out I'd still be here, I swear it. It can all go back to the way it used to be, albeit a little differently."
Sasuke was silent a while and I anxiously waited to see if I had convinced him. He eventually sighed, turning into me, and tucking his head under my chin and snuggling in. I released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Smiling, I wrapped my arms around him. I kissed the top of his head.
"You know, no more sex buddies for you!" I teased.
"Well, obviously. I always liked having sex with you better anyway." Sasuke said.
I grinned and laughed, "So anyway, how about that bath?"
Sasuke's turn to laugh. He pulled away to look at me. I grinned as I leaned in and kissed him. He sighed into the kiss and I pulled away, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.
"Man, I like doing that."
"Mm, me too… You promised me forever Naruto. I'm holding you to that."
"When have I ever broken a promise, Love?"
Sasuke smiled and reached out a hand to caress my cheek. I tilted my head into the touch, my eyes half lidded in contentment.
"Never." Sasuke replied before leaning in and kissing me.
Okay... first off I want to thank all my reviewers because they're the best! Anyway, while this is extremely belated I got a comment from Hell's Heat. He/She criticizes my story, which is fine, but he/she was really rude about it. I don't think my story is perfect or my writing but I'm okay with that and I'm definitely better when I started. Anyway, this isn't to hate on this person and so please don't. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and if this one wants to be rude about it then it's okay because I can handle it. Especially since I have all you supportive reviewers to make sure I don't feel bad about it. So, while I rambled on a bit here, the reason I decided to add this spiel to the end of my fanfic is to mainly thank narusasulover1234 and MDA for defending me in their reviewers. So thank you!