Last Faded Memories

Author: Neth

Rating: PG

Summery: At the very end of his life, when many of his friends are now dead, Tom Paris revisits Voyager and memories.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Voyager. I never did, never will do, but I do love it and am a loyal fan, so don't sue me and lose me!

Archive: Wherever, just let me know.

Author's Note: A friend came up with a title, so thank the BOF, who is also the Beta reader.

Dedication: Can't do re-write thing including emotions from the ER episode 'The Beach' because I don't know enough about it, and I could never do it honor. So here it is in another fandom, though slightly altered. Dedicated to the character Mark Green, and the actor Anthony Edwards who portrayed him. You did it so well, and even those who only saw ER every blue moon like I did will miss you. This is for you.

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Tom walked onto the bridge. He knew there was nobody there. There were no sounds from the consoles in the centre of the great ship that his life had changed upon. There was no one to welcome him.

He walked down to his former station, noting that he was wearing the uniform he wore under the command of Janeway and Chakotay. He slid his fingers tenderly across the controls and silently murmured replies to imaginary orders that he remembered being spoken with authority from behind.

Tom looked to the view screen, where he first saw the real Earth of his time after seven years. How he first saw the Alpha Quadrant again seconds before hearing his daughter's cries for the first time. A daughter that had now grown up and was a Starfleet captain, of the USS Voyager NCC 74656- A, no less. But he wasn't on the second Voyager to be made. He was on the first one.

He entered the turbo lift. Instead of the usual slight whirl that sounded when it was in motion, there was only the extremely faint sound of phasers shooting, klaxons blaring and laughing mixed into one big soundtrack. He was surprised he could hear it; his hearing had long passed its prime and was now so poor that people had to shout for him to hear. But if he could come back to his ship as a young man again, then perhaps he could hear again.

He stepped hesitantly out of the cylindrical lift and into the corridor that was empty with silent. A hint of a promise hung in the air; a hint of what could have been had they not returned to the Alpha Quadrant. A hint of children growing up and playing in the corridors. but the only child who had ever played here was now a grandmother. Naomi still called him Uncle Tom.

Instead of heading straight for his quarters, as was his old habit, Tom simply trudged along the short distance that seemed to stretch into eternity. Visions of his friends from memories still bright swam around him.

He saw the senior staff in the mess hall after they had stopped the destruction of the 29th century. Kes had been there. How different he had been then - yet so changed from the mere observer who had first stepped onto the bridge.

He saw Neelix and Kes laughing and talking, oblivious to the outside world. Neelix trying to convince every one within shouting distance that Leola root was the best vegetable ever created. He saw Kes leaving with her parting gift of years closer to home.

Tom saw Seven as a naïve newly ex-Borg, confused about the world. He saw him and B'Elanna floating in space, running out of oxygen. He remembered how happy he'd been when he found out how his would-be wife felt for him, and her aggravation at his idiotic reply.

He saw the entire crew of Seven's era gathered together on the first Ancestors' Day with beaming faces. Tom smiled sadly.

As he entered the quarters he had shared with his beloved half-Klingon, he remembered their wedding day. Strangely, he never once felt scared on that day; never once felt nervous and asked himself if he was doing the right thing. He knew that he was, and that it would be one of the most special and joyous days of his entire life.

Now in his room and memories swimming away, he looked round. He said goodbye to his ship. He had done it in person years ago when they had turned it into a museum. But now it was not that. There were no tour guides coming through the door. But nor was there a crew. No, he was saying goodbye to the USS Voyager in his final and last dream. He knew it. He'd just said goodbye to his friends, his family. Now he said goodbye the place that made him the best person he could be. The place that made him a husband. A father.

His home.

The scene around him dimmed. As he stood there alone in the quiet, serene room that looked just as it had the last time he had seen it with his flesh and blood eyes. He saw his wife and his daughter on the day that Miral was born.

Before he left this life, he saw his family together for the first time. Thomas Eugene Paris of the Voyager crew smiled and was content as all went black and he knew no more.



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"Tom?" Harry Kim called.

He knew that his friend was dying. Tom Paris. The man who wasn't overly upset because he believed that he would see his soul mate again. Harry didn't want his friend to go no matter whom Tom would see. The only reason Miral wasn't here, though she wanted to be, was that Tom was keeping her away. He didn't want her to see him like this. Occasionally she sneaked in when he slept, but not today.

"Tom? I've brought you some hot tomato soup! Just how you like it: plain!"

Harry entered the bedroom, expertly balancing a tray. The room was decorated with photos of family gatherings. On the table beside the bed Tom occupied was his and B'Elanna's wedding portrait, and the first photo of Tom, B'Elanna and Miral.

His friend lay still, eyes closed. Harry frowned. "Tom, you asleep?"

Nothing in response. It was unlike him. Tom was an extremely light sleeper, even in old age and his poor hearing.

He knew something was wrong - a nagging, icy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe he had slipped into a coma. Doc had warned them it was a possibility. Harry mentally kicked himself for being so rash - Tom wasn't in a coma. He was just asleep, and his hearing wasn't any good now anyway, worse than they often thought.

Stepping up to the bed and laying the soup tray on the floor, he kneeled down next to it and gently shook the ex-pilot.

"Wake up, Tom!" he shouted into the other man's ear. It always worked without fail. "The Borg are almost here and the Captain needs you on the bridge!"

But it didn't work.

Now he knew something wasn't right.

Harry was worried.

He couldn't be dead, surely? He had more life in him than Q ever did. He wouldn't just leave this world. Would he?

Harry picked up Tom's arm and checked his pulse. Nothing. He was reading it wrong, he was never good at it. So he tried again. Still nothing. Harry tried ten more times before finally succumbing to the truth. His best friend was dead. The world silently fell.

Tom was gone.

Forever.



Thanks for the reviews guys, I'd been meaning to update cause I realised about the alter ego thing when I was reading a fic based on that episode, lol. Thanks for reminding me though Vix, probably wouldn't have updated it otherwise. There's probably a reason why the leola root and a kid of the crew being on Voyager A, but who knows. They're clichés, but I like 'em. I'm aware some don't so. if I think of a better solution I'll stick that up instead. JadziaKathryn, thanks for mentioning the Miral not being there, didn't think about it before. I've updated that aswell. And as for Noone Lives Forever, thanks! I'll try but at the moment I'm encouraging a mate to try and write something, lol. Thanks guys, means a lot!