So, I can't find the strength to fill in all of the gaps; I thought I would, then that bombshell of a final episode hit us, and everything I'd been building this up to be fell flat.

So, I'm ending it here, and wrapping up Callie and Arizona's painful season 9 journey. Thank you for sticking with it, and I hope you like how I've wrapped it up.

It's funny, isn't it? How in movies and in books the weather always seems to mirror the inner turmoil of the characters? The so-called super storm had been building outside for days, and for days Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital prepared for it.

But nothing could have prepared them for this. This storm had been building since the moment Arizona's anguished plea left her lips.

Please don't give up on me. Please, don't let them take my leg.

Against every shred of proof that amputation would be the most likely outcome, Callie heard herself promise that it wouldn't happen.

I trusted you…more than anyone in my life.

In Arizona's eyes, Callie had betrayed that trust, and now Arizona had completely betrayed every shred of trust that Callie held in her.

Did this make them even?

Stick out your leg and I will go grab a bone saw and let's even the score.

She hadn't lost anything? She had lost her best friend. The father of her child…

I'll be damned if I lose you too.

Yet, here it was.

Life can change on an instant. Turn on a dime.

This wasn't her wife. This wasn't the Arizona that Callie had fallen in love with. The one she'd married and pledged her life to. This Arizona was a shell, falling into bed with a woman she barely knew and hurling abuse at the one she was supposed to love.

"I'll always love you. But this…" Her face contorted in disgust.
"This isn't you."

"You don't think I know that?" Her voice whispered unsurely, a stark contrast to the hateful spite that had exploded from her mouth only minutes before.

Hearing her wife's unsure anguish nearly made Callie crumble. She wanted nothing more than to take her in her arms and promise her that she'd be ok. That they'd be ok. But she couldn't. Because they weren't. She wasn't.

"I'm going to take Sofia home." She said softly, although her feet remained routed to their spot.

Arizona's blood ran cold at the sound of their daughter's name. She had no doubt that she would not be welcome in their home and the thought of being separated from Sofia made her want to throw up.

"The storm. You can't." She shook her head, tears clouding her vision.

"They cleared us to leave." Callie countered, wiping angrily at her cheeks. She wanted to be furious at her wife, but all she felt was defeated.

"You need help. Real help. Otherwise we can't…" She shrugged, motioning between the two of them. She couldn't form the words.

Contrary to her angered outburst, Arizona now found herself almost unable to speak.
"Sofia…" She pleaded.
"Whenever you want. She's yours." Callie promised. "I just can't be right now."

Arizona watched as Callie walked away. Slumping onto the couch, she sunk into herself as sobs wracked her tired body. Where had that come from? She still blamed Callie? A week ago the notion would have been preposterous.

Nearly a year had passed since she had woken up without her leg, but as she sat in the dark lounge, in the middle of a thunderstorm, she realised that a year ago she had lost herself.

A year ago she would have put Lauren Boswell in her place when the flirting started. A year ago she would have had her wife by her side during the storm. A year ago she would have been herself.

Drying her eyes, Arizona pulled her phone from her pocket. Months ago, just after they met, her prosthetist had given her some numbers of some therapists. She had nearly torn his head off, claiming that she didn't need help.

As she scrolled through her contacts, she found the number and hit call.

A year after the crash, for the sake of her wife and the sake of her daughter, Arizona Robbins would finally learn to cope.

Fin