It's difficult sometimes. To be me that is. I know a lot of people say that and they sound like complete weaklings, but still, it's fun to be full of self-pity and pin your problems on the rest of the world and then act like everything is perfect as can be. I never thought I would find someone like myself. I had always been surrounded by people who had thought I was a complete idiot. It must have been that I just hated to see people unhappy, so I never stopped smiling and they just thought I didn't know what the heck was going on. So… I just acted like they expected, and hoped I wouldn't get hurt.

But then you went away. I knew we hadn't been through much together, but I still don't want you to leave. Your special to me, I love you. You are my protector, my ally. Why are you so… mean? I sound like a little kid all over again! It's taking me over the edge! How do I get across to you that I'm not an idiot without showing the world that I could probably whip them all out in seconds if I wanted to? How can I get through to your stubborn, only good for thinking brain? How can I melt that heart of yours? And why doesn't anything I do, despite my sacrifices, make you happy?

It's not fair.

I look at you with sad eyes as you yell at me again. I have no intention on listening to your obsessive rant, I've probably heard it a thousand times and I'm sick of your complaining. I'm sick of you and Japan! I'm sick of the axis! I'm sick of this war! I looked at you in the beginning, when you told me to join you, your Adolf Hitler at your side smirking at me with that evil glint in his eye and knew immediately that I should have said no. But I loved you, and wanted to make you happy. It was a mistake though a horrible, terrible mistake. My friends, my people, dying at my own hands for your interests. You obviously haven't taken a very good look at me lately, because your boss wants people like me dead so that your little 'superior race' can expand. But one little mess up, and your on me like a tornado explosion or something. Rant after rant, after rant… after rant… It's Austria all over again, except I'm not a stupid little kid anymore and I'm about ready to snap in your face. And I don't mean break out and start bawling my eyes out crying and pleading for surrender.

That's another thing. Japan just expects me to be all homo and cry baby. Am I? I front of him, yes. In front of you?... I'm worse. And I hope you catch the drift that I don't want anything to do with you and kick me out of the house again like you did in world war one. That was when I should have stayed away from you, why didn't I see the signs? But it's too late now, I'm stuck with you unless by some miracle, you mess up or Japan does something stupid, and then first glance at the situation I run out of here faster than you can say 'The Brittish are coming'.

Give me a break! England is incredibly freaky! He was a freaking pirate! An underling of some of the most vicious countries in his time, and probably has the weirdest brothers ever! The pedophile and the isolationist. I feel bad for both of them because they have to deal with that flavorless… person… I don't care how angry I am I just can't bring myself to cuss…

It seems you're done with your yelling now, and your telling me to run around the laps again. You know about my escaping run, why do I need to run if I'm a country? I already have to run myself with you killing all my brunettes and treating Romano like dirt! Why should I spend physical energy on something that I can use for something important like politics? You like it when I read right? Depending on the kind of book right? Then why do you hate it when I'm reading a cooking book? Can you blame a man for his interests? I love to cook and draw. It helps be escape the realities of the time and helps me think clearly through all the poisonous gas flowing through my lungs. Am I obsessed? Sure! But not for no good reason! I-

"Italy, snap out of it you idiot!" I obey to you and seem surprised that your there.

"Ve~ Germany when did you get here? I was just about to go make pasta to you want some?" I ask. Yes, act like normal, I'll never let you figure the real me out. You'll never get me at my best if you cant appreciate my worse! Suck on that loser!

…great, I'm turning into Prussia.

"Italy…" you growled and pinched your nose bridge. I have never understood why you do that, but it's become a habit lately for you I think. I take a look at any images from the security bug I placed on your desk, you do it even when I'm not around or screaming on the phone. And about that whole shoelaces thing, I'm not that stupid. I just needed you over there because I wanted to make Britton think that I had you had a fort or something big nearby so that he wouldnt try anything to bad. I know he's scared of you, dispite his cocky and sometimes agrivating rants on how he'll get you one of these days. Years of being underappreciated, undermined, underprivileged, and screamed at, I had had it. One day though, you would make the mistake that would change my life for the good.

"I was asking you if you wanted to help Japan with attacking America."

I stutter for a moment. What day was it again? December 6th right? I think the year is 1941... I'm not sure, I've lost count of them. Why would you want to attack America when it was winter over there? Why would you want to attack America at all? He can be a monster if he wants to be. The witch hunt, the revolution, 1812, and if I recall, he hit very hard during world war one. Shut up, I know my history. I lived it!... well I didn't live America's but it's good to know your enemy!

"Ve! No!~ America is scary! Please don't make Japan go after him! If America gets angry then-"

"Italy the decision has already been made; I just want to know if you'll help." You shout in my face and I shut up. I glare halfheartedly, and clench on the white flag I was carrying at the time so that I wouldn't hit you.

"N-No. Japan can do it himself, I'm sure he's plenty strong enough." You seem to see the difference in my tone of voice and glare at me. I just scream and start waving my flag. "IT'S BRITTON!" I screech and run away. You would be left to stare at the empty area that I had indeed not seen the Englishman and sigh in disappointment. I on the other hand, would run to Japan and beg him not to go, only to get a cold shoulder and a quiet apology before Japan went off to do whatever he was going to do to America. If Japan thought that was polite, then I'm sorry, but I'd hate to see his rude! You need to look someone straight in the eye when you talk to them superior or not and you need to have a full conversational chat with them. If you have to leave in a hurry then for crying out loud say so! I won't care if you say it straight out that I'm just a burden and you'd like me out of your country border limits as soon as possible. I've heard worse said to me I can assure you!

But I just sigh and sag my shoulders, and open my eyes when I know he's gone. Why is everyone so set on power and lust? Did they never pay attention to history? It's why I'm so absorbed in history because I want to make sure I never make any mistakes ever again! At least, not the same mistake twice. I don't want what happened to Grandpa Rome to happen to you. I love you… so why can't I stop hating your very existence?

I shrug to myself and start to walk home. I really don't give a darn what happens as long as I live long enough to surrender. But I really hope I don't get stuck with Britton like that one time in World War One… that hadn't been very fun…

The next day, I heard the news. And I had cried for the first real time in a while. Japan had hurt over 3000 people. Not to mention any family those people might have had. I know that Japan can be a real pain but I didn't know he was that cruel! Attacking America's littlest State? Brutal! I had seen Hawaii before, but it was a little bit by accident sort of because she had gone wondering off and I had said hello to her thinking she was a new country or something. She was very young, looked approximately three years old and looked a bit like Japan mixed with Cuba except she was the sweetest little doll in the world. America was in a panic mode when he had found her right before I was about ask if she'd like to stay with me. I had hid away from them both and watched them reunite and leave in a heart-warming kind of way with an achy feeling in my chest. It almost felt like a replay in history. But Japan had gone and snuck up on that little girl, and bombed her. According to a drunken Japan who had been celebrating his 'victory' with a reluctant beer, he had played a wolf in sheep's clothing. He had pretended to be America's ally and tricked Hawaii into letting his air force through, then bombed Pearl Harbor. I had been mortified as you, also drunk, slapped him on the back and congratulated him.

That same night, I had snuck into the United States from underground to check on her in a hospital. She was in a coma, apparently the attack had imploded one of her lungs, and the doctor didn't know if she would make it. Inhuman or not, colonies, provinces, cities, and representatives like America's Sates weren't nearly as tough as actual countries. She had died in America's arms as I watched through one way glass. And America… I had never seen him so angry before. His eyes were narrow and ice blue… like yours almost. His scowl shadowed the entire room and his sudden outbreak of sobbing made me shed a few tears of my own. He would be able to replace Hawaii, but it was still overwhelming I think. I had heard that he had been previously harassed instantly about not joining the war and trying to stay isolated from the world and not get into trouble. I had respected him for doing that. He had only wanted to keep his children safe. It was one of the reasons I didn't want Japan to attack America. Because when you mess with the cub, the Momma bear…

Obliterates two cities in seconds a few days later.

December 9th, Japan had been hanging out with us, thinking everything was fine, when all of the sudden he started screaming. He had been voiced out in two seconds. His mouth went dessert dry, he had fell to the ground, and had gone paler then ever right before he coughed up inhumanly amounts of blood and… his left arm started to peal itself backward until half of the skin was gone, and he was bleeding profusely. Germany just thought it was a natural thing which I shouted it was rediculous. Japan however seemed to be on Germany's side on this. Just natural? Nature couldnt do that! I had looked around the clearing, and had seen him. America was standing there, a machete knife clenched in his hand, and a demented smile blazing in the sunlight. Even you were paralyzed as he walked towards us and grabbed Japan by the collar, lifted him infront of you, and sliced Japan with the knife down his spine. I was instigated to sneer at the sizzling and the green puss that started to come from his back oozed forth and seemed to burn the sorrounding skin. You were terrified.

"Looks like you got what you wanted. Your next." He had said to you. Then he had dropped Japan and walked off, crying slightly.

They say loosing a child is the worst pain anyone can go through. But they are wrong. It's when the parent finds the one who hurt their child. And what they do to them;

That's the worst pain someone can go through.

I had stared at Japan dead eyed the entire time, not really caring what kind of pain he was going through, because as my Grandpa Rome used to say, "An eye for an eye."