(A/N) Welcome dear readers! Thank you for clicking on Crossing the Line! I'm GIR's Infernal Waffles, happy to be your storyteller for the day.

THIS IS A ZADR FIC! If you don't like it, please don't read it! There's plenty of other awesome stuff out there!

While this is ZaDr fic, it is not AU or OOC. It takes place… well, I guess sometime after 10 Minutes to Doom, since that episode does come up in a later chapter.

This first chapter is a bit silly-after this stuff gets real. Legit.

I do not own IZ. However, I do hope all you foolish earth-monkeys enjoy this fic.

The day didn't start all that unusually- not for them, anyways.

"The world will never be yours, Zim!" the small boy screamed, his heckling serving as the Irken's unwelcome alarm clock. His pounding on the bathroom-like door roused the little alien who, scowling with annoyance, only bothered to pull his disguise on halfway before opening the door.

"What is it, Dib-stink," he asked crossly, "that Zim must be woken at such an unseemly hour, hmm?"

"Just stopping by to remind you that your plans won't work, Zim," the other replied smartly.

"Oh, oh yes, I'm terrified," the Irken said, beginning to close the door. But Dib had other ideas, shoving his way inside and squaring his shoulders.

"Today will be your last day on earth!" he announced, hands on his hips.

Zim stuck out his segmented tongue, pointedly ignoring the human to call, "GIR! Where is my breakfast! Even I cannot conquer this stinking mud-hole without breakfast!"

But Dib just wouldn't leave, pacing around the base and snapping pictures, taunting Zim as he did. And eventually, the little alien couldn't take it. Somewhere between "You won't succeed!" and "I'll expose you!" he snapped, flinging himself at the unwelcome Dib-thing and sending them both rolling head-over-heals across the floor.

"Ouch! Zim- ow!" the human wailed, more often than not finding himself under the small alien. They both got to their feet, Zim slamming Dib against the wall and then visa-versa, the alien coming away with a clump of hair and the human coming away with a whole head of it, leaving said alien disguise-less (though, predictably, the camera had been crushed by this time). At last Zim succeed in shoving his uninvited houseguest out the door and stumbling across the lawn.

"Get… out!" Zim cried in that classic Zim voice, drawing out the last word unnaturally. "Out-out-ouuut!" Slamming the door, he let himself lean against it, exhausted before the day had even begun in earnest. With dragging feet he walked to the couch, flopping down beside the small green dog.

"I luv this show!" GIR said proudly, pointing to the TV and wagging his tail. Zim, too tired to object, turned his gaze to the flashing screen.

"I hate you!" a busty, blonde human woman was screaming.

"Not as much as I hate you!" a broad-chested man yelled back.

"Get out of my life!" the woman snapped, slapping the man.

The man surged forward, grabbing her hair and thrusting her against the wall. With a shriek she began to claw at him, but eventually the man had wrestled her to the ground.

"I hate you," he growled, then mashed his lips against hers; the watching Irken stiffened in surprise.

"Oh god, I just hate you so much…" the woman moaned, pulling at her lover's clothes. "I wish you would die…"

"Just like Master and Dib-human!" GIR chirped excitedly, pointing to the screen and smiling with his eyes, tongue hanging out. "Will Master and Dib-human kissy-kiss and make up, too?"

The poor, well-meaning little robot's screams could be heard for well over a mile, as could his sobs when Zim took his cupcakes away.

…

So, breakfast-less and annoyed, Zim was off to Skool. When Mrs. Bitters slithered into the room, the day only got progressively worse for the poor alien- the lesson passed in a somewhat painful haze of boredom, and when at last the bell rang his head slipped from where it rested on his hand and smacked into the desk, face smushed even flatter than normal. He couldn't get out the door fast enough, mind completely focused on going home, getting a nice, Irken sandwich, and plotting world domination.

But it was not to be.

"Oh Ziiiim…"

Groaning, the Irken turned. "I do not have the patience for you, Dib-worm," he said authoritatively- although the intimidating front he tried to put up was somewhat inhibited by the growling of his empty stomach-equivalent.

Dib, sensing weakness, grinned evilly. "Come on, buddy," he said, expression only describable as satanic as he took the alien's arm. "Let's go get some ice cream. Whatda'ya think?"

Zim glowered at the human who dared to touch ZIM! in such a way. "I will not submit to this iced cream torture that you suggest!"

Dib laughed, although the sound was not at all friendly. "Silly otherworlder," he said chidingly. "Ice cream is a very popular human treat. I think you'll like it."

Zim narrowed his eyes, sure that he was being led into a trap. But he had to admit that he was curious about this human "treat" which, now that he thought about it, he remembered many children whispering about with dreamy eyes. So he gave in as he was half-dragged down the street by his new "buddy."

Dib's motive was simple: recon. He knew that Zim's system was weak to certain earth substances, and also of his hatred of earth foods. So he was curious- and would use every opportunity to learn about the alien who had made the unfortunate mistake of landing on his doorstep. Zim was aware of this- suspicious of such intentions. But he allowed himself to be dragged to the ice cream shop and pulled up to the counter.

"I'll pay for your ice cream, buddy," Dib purred sadistically, pulling out his wallet. Zim twitched.

"You have no power of me, pig-smelly human!" he proclaimed. "This invader pays for his own 'iced cream!' in fact, I shall pay for yours, as well!" The Irken sneered. Who's in control now, worm?

Dib signed, secretly pleased at how easy his enemy was to manipulate. "Oh, very well."

Zim blinked rapidly, then peered at the other cautiously. "Agreeable today, Dib-worm?" Without taking his eyes off Dib, he paid the cashier and retrieved two top-heavy ice cream cones, which he had to admit looked better than the average earth food.

Smiling- almost passing the expression off as friendly –Dib took one and led his "buddy" over to a table, where they sat opposite each other. Zim, uncomfortable but unwilling to show it, raised his chin pointedly and took a lick of the ice cream. It was admittedly better than he had thought it would be, and in short order he was lapping at it docilely, all but forgetting about the human sitting across from him.

That human was quite amused by the spectacle, leaning in forward with his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, all but forgetting about his own ice cream. He always liked to watch Zim, no matter what the alien was doing; this was no exception. He could barely suppress his glee as he watched the Irken's tension melt as fast as the sugary confection in his hand.

"What are you staring at, human?" Zim growled, eyes narrowed as he glared across the table. "You dare to inspect Zim with such a critical eye?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Dib replied innocently. "Want mine?"

The alien's glare intensified. "I do not want to you give me your iced-cream, foolish Dib-thing." It was no sooner than Dib had retracted his hand, however, that Zim's shot out, snatching the cone away from his companion. "I want to steal your iced cream! Haha! Victory for Zim!"

Irritated, Dib was just about to reclaim his desert when he noticed something odd about the alien. Zim's gaze kept unfocusing, despite his apparent efforts. Then, with little other warning, the little alien yawned hugely and swooned, face-planting on a table for the second time that day.

Asleep.

"Ice cream puts him to sleep…" Dib whispered, and then crowed it excitedly, hopping up onto the tabletop. "Ice cream puts him to sleep! The earth is saaaaved!"

Ignoring the odd stares, Dib collected his alien and slung the small green body over his shoulder. Whistling, he dashed out the door, leaving the ice cream parlor in a rather stunned silence.

…

Where am I going?

Dib got approximately half a block before the question hit him, stopping him in his tracks. He was suddenly and vividly aware of the weight on his shoulder, the glow of warmth that it leaked. He hadn't expected the alien to feel so familiar… so human.

Zim…

Shaking his head sharply, Dib tried to order his thoughts; unable to, he ducked into an alleyway to avoid the unwanted attention of passersby. Only then did he slump to the ground, Zim's limp body settling in his lap as it were the most natural thing in the world. Gazing down, Dib felt confusion wash through him with surprising force.

On the one hand, he saw his hated enemy- he saw the Irken invader sent to take over the earth, the one he had fought tooth and nail to hold back, the one who had dragged him through all brands of hell. He saw in incarnation of distain, a haughty, self-centered creature who would like to enslave the human race and kill those who would stop him- Dib included.

But on the other hand, he saw a creature entirely new to him- or perhaps not new, just ignored. He saw Zim- a lost creature with no home and a story heart-achingly similar to his own, filled with rejection and disappointment. Dib, of course, had no way of knowing about the Tallests' cruelty or Irk; he had no way of knowing just how devoid of affection and respect and anything of the sort Zim's life had been. But he saw clues etched in the sleeping alien's face- scars that mirrored his own.

I've… caught Zim… he acknowledged softly. I… can do anything with him. I could turn him in… I could have him dissected. A flare of excitement burst up in him as the notion appeared in his mind. But it was squelched quickly, by nothing more than the sensation of Zim's chest expanding and contracting. He's… alive now. I could make sure… he… isn't.

It's not like they would kill him, he reminded himself, forcing a smile. Just… just torture him. Yeah. They'd experiment on him. Maybe do a vivisection.

… Which would kill him.

Sighing heavily, Dib stood, holding the small green body bridal style this time. First was getting back to his house; he could figure the rest out once there. So he trotted quickly down the street, his attention disproportionally focused on the little alien's steady, deep breath.

Once at his own doorstep, the human was left fumbling with the doorknob, unable to get it open with the alien in his arms. Frustrated, he called through the wood, "Gaz! Gaz, get the door for me! My hands are full!"

"No!" came the reply. "Just put down the stuff you're holding, idiot!"

Dib blinked, surprised it hadn't occurred to him. But as he looked down at the muddy, chilled ground, something inside him squirmed.

"I can't!" I don't want… my subject to be contaminated. Yeah, that's it. Receiving no reply, he muttered, "Listen to her, Zim. Just leaves us stranded, huh? She'll pay…"

Through a series of creative contortions, Dib got the alien slung half-way over his shoulder, cradled one-handed. Staggering into the house, he let the body slide back into the far more natural position of a careful, two-handed grip. Stalking past Gaz with the exclamation, "My triumph is assured!" he proceeded up to his bedroom.

Once there, logic kicked in. Laying the Irken deliberately- gently but not tenderly –on his bed, Dib produced the infamous alien sleepcuffs (pair number two, recently received through mail order); it was with deft movements that he attached the small alien to his bedframe. Then he stood back, observing his work in a satisfied way, grinning with triumph as his glasses glinted.

"Oh Zim…" he sighed. "At last… you shall see that this human is not one to trifle with!" Then he was on the phone, dialing frantically.

His haste, however, was unnecessary; the elevator music was infuriating as he waited for the phone to be answered, prayed for the person on the other end to take him seriously. Glancing at the alien on his bed, he suddenly felt his eagerness drain away, attention immediately taken in by the creature so bent on world domination, yet so peaceful in sleep. His expression was relaxed, mouth slightly open, and, just for an instant, Dib could hear his breath.

The gruff voice on the other end of the line made him jump, heart leaping into his throat. Spinning so that his back faced his bed, Dib cleared his throat.

"Y-yes… yes. I'd like to… yes. I have an alien tied to my bed. I'd like you to come and pick him up."

(A/N) I hope you (all?) liked! I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to the next chapter. :3

If you review, I'll not only love you momentarily, but I'll send you the title of the next chapter. Seriously, though, reviews mean the world to me, especially since this is my first shot at the fandom. Please tell me how I did!

ALSO I AM SEEKING A BETA! No prior experience required; mostly for proofreading and minor editing. If you're interested, please PM me!