Author's Notes:

As someone who has suffered multiple forms of abuse, which is something I'd prefer not to get into, I can tell you the absolute worst part is having that abuse accompanied by the psychological "well you deserve it" or the "you didn't try hard enough" to "get out of" that situation. Right now, there are many commenters who are JUST AS BAD as abusers. You are blaming both Merlin and Arthur for their predicaments but both are only partially to blame. Please read this carefully and don't completely dismiss Arthur's side of things. He wants to set things right, he's just as deep in this mess as Merlin and he is trapped by his position which leaves him helpless to act the way he wishes to, in order to set things right. By this point, if you've actually read any of this story, you should be able to see why Merlin has felt trapped and forced to stay in his situation. Please, please stop victim blaming, guys, it's not a healthy mind set to pass on.

I am not saying any of this to get pity. By all means. Vilify me. Make me out to be the bad guy. Say that I am terrible at writing if you must. But don't think that just because you said that doesn't mean I won't get upset. There's critiquing and helpful points and then there's just tearing someone down because they didn't do things they way you wanted. I understand the latter. I felt the same way of JKR. Now, I'm no world class author but I will still get annoyed and defend my craft. I wrote this ultimately to tell a story that I saw potential for. I am working on completing it. Please don't act like you are owed this story or that I have to complete it. This is MY CHOICE to write it and complete it.

That being said, I would like to thank the people who were nasty in the comments, who were completely disrespectful, who lashed out just because things didn't go the way they wanted. By pushing me so far back into a corner, that I felt I had to release this just to shut you up, you actually pushed me to be greater. The story had felt stagnate to me and I'd grown to dislike it (for that reason and for the outstanding comments that completely tore apart everything I was trying to create). But by being pushed to outline it so that it had enough spoilers to give people a chance to decide if they wanted to continue reading was exactly what I needed. I ended up rewriting quite a bit of the outline and even changing the ending a bit. I'm much more satisfied with the direction this is heading in now. Having had a chance to revamp this series will make it easier to write in the future, or so I hope, but I must reiterate; it is my choice to write this or not to write this. Not a single person is owed this story, just as I am not owed to have any one read what I write.

You will also probably notice that I have long past Chapter "15" in numbering. Again, this is just a rough outline. I might break up certain chapters if I think they're getting too long or I might cut certain chapters altogether if I feel like it.

Chapter "15": This is mainly going to be a filler, in order to let things calm down a bit. This is going to be the journey back to Mercia and him sorting through his mixed feelings at choosing to leave this time.

Chapter "16": The First Year. From here on out, things are going to be jumping forward quite a bit. Instead of summarizing what happened over the course of a month, I'll be summarizing a year. The focus will mainly be on Merlin slowly raising in rank as a servant, allowing him more access to the princes and to be formally allowed to advise them. This leads to some bullying, nothing even close to what he dealt with in Camelot, and he's quick to quash it. He directly petitions the king in order to be allowed to use magic with his blessing, which he reluctantly agrees to, making the bullies back off. Due to his management of his own magic and not using it carelessly while in court (he still sometimes fools around to please the children in the town and to show off for the princes but only occasionally), he ends up gaining the respect of the king, who starts asking him for advise in regards to dealing with magical matters. This is allows him to climb even higher in the ranks, taking strides forward to make a place for himself in his new home. At the end of the chapter, Alistair confines in Sebastian that he thinks he might be a little in love with Merlin. Sebastian is less than pleased to hear this news.

Chapter "17": The Third Year. Morgana is planning a new attack on Camelot and having learned that Merlin has magic in this time, confirms her suspicions that Emyrs is someone very close to Arthur. She isn't sure that Merlin is Emyrs yet, however, and decides to trick him into coming to her. She lays a trap for him, feeding false information to Mercia, which eventually reaches his ears. He has a long back and forth with both of the princes about wanting to return to Camelot to make sure Arthur is alright. Both the princes are against it and it finally, they bring the matter to the king, whom they expect to take their side, as he's been using Merlin more and more as an unofficial advisor. However, he takes Merlin's side, saying that they are not a kingdom that would take their citizens hostage. Leaves off with Merlin telling them he'll be back soon enough and not to worry. Without worrying, he heads off to Camelot. Alistair struggles with his feelings with Merlin and trying to keep everything normal.

Chapter "18": The Fourth Year. Morgana hasn't been able to trap Merlin yet but she's still determined. She manages to don a disguise and infiltrate the castle, where she gets close to Gwen once more, this time as her servant. Finding this connection again, she briefly loses her resolve to go after Arthur, instead focusing more on how much she missed the times they were together. It's a new experience as well, to be a servant and to live like this. Gwen, as well, connects deeply with her newest servant, not realizing it's Morgana. She opens up to her about her fears and insecurities as a queen, about how she hates how she's treated as though she's simply a "rags to riches" story. It wasn't as though she purposely ensnared Arthur in a marriage. She didn't ask to be queen. She hates being treated as though she either doesn't deserve her position or that she is someone to be viewed with awe. And the more they talk about her feelings and fears, the more she opens up to Morgana. She talks to her about her marriage, her issues with Arthur, even how he briefly hit her once, shortly after banishing Merlin. The strain of Merlin's banishment on their marriage, how even bringing him back hadn't really helped and when he chose to leave, their marriage became strained once again. She hates feeling like a third wheel at times with the man who once married her for love. She hates that she never knows which side of Arthur she'll be getting. Will he be melancholy, will he be brooding? Will he be focused on Merlin and trying to get him back? Or will he finally turn to her again, as he sometimes does, and briefly show her glimpses of the man she wanted to marry, the man she had fallen in love with. During this time, Morgana also learns about something from Gwen that she wasn't expecting. Arthur apparently has a psychic link with Merlin. The more she learns, the more she's convinced that he is Emyrs. However, Morgana has softened by being around Gwen and decides to lay one more trap and talk to him face to face. Perhaps she was wrong this whole time… With that in mind, she uses dark magic to twist the psychic link between Arthur and Merlin, making them both sick and weakening them in order to draw Merlin out of Mercia. (It is important to note that despite wanting to "change for the better", at the end of the day, Morgana is still twisted by her experiences and doesn't know how to change back.)

Chapter "19": The Fifth Year. Merlin leaves Mercia once again to check on Arthur, only this time to finally fall into Morgana's trap. He ends up held by her for several months. At first, she only wants to talk, but he doesn't trust her and her trying to explain that after reconnecting with Gwen— but upon hearing that she was in disguise the whole time, Merlin gets angry with her, saying she hasn't changed at all and that she's just deceiving everyone, even herself. Taking offense, she takes that as a challenge and tells him that if he wants to see her at her worse, she'll gladly oblige. She begins torturing him, taking more and more pleasure in it as time passes. However, she can't easily kill him because of his magic, as they are technically of two different sects and only magic of the old religion can kill him. They go back and forth verbally sparring the whole time, her magic warring with his as it holds him captive, until he finally manages to find a way to over power her magically in a surprise attack. Still severely weakened, however, he runs away, not sure he can take her in a full battle. Alistair and Sebastian, who have been searching for Merlin off and on again under the guise of "patrols" find him and take him back to Mercia.

Chapter "20": The Fifth Year Cont. Merlin slowly recovers in Mercia once again, both mentally and physically, although his magic is quick to try to heal him. The princes become overprotective of Merlin for a bit, shadowing him or demanding that he comes with one of them, not wanting to let him out of their sight. Merlin agrees to this, amused to see how much his friends care about his well being. He takes the pointed comments from Sebastian over his stupidity and tendencies to run off with a surprising amount of patience, hearing the worry behind the chiding. During this time, the king's health takes a turn for the worse and quickly begins deteriorating. With his body suddenly wasting away, he goes into convalescence and withdraws from the sight of the people. Merlin asks if this is because of magic and it's revealed that the king has been sick for many years. In actuality, only through magic has he been able to live this long. However, the magic that blessed him is finally failing and he refuses any aid, stating that he's lived long enough. Alistair requests that Merlin promise not to leave his side ever again. Merlin agrees and holds his hand as they watch over the dying king.

Chapter "21": The First Year/Camelot. Shortly after Merlin leaves, Arthur becomes very sick. His mental state has left him vulnerable and he gets a raging, high fever. During this time, Sebelin is the one to care for Arthur, hovering over him. At one point, Merlin does briefly return to check on Arthur, sensing his weakened state, but he doesn't stay long. He passes some herbs to Gaius, telling him about some of the local remedies from Mercia, before heading back. He refuses to even see Arthur again. When his fever breaks, thanks to these new remedies, a disoriented Arthur finds Sebelin hovering over him. He can't hide his disappointment and asks where Merlin is. Desperate to curry favor from the king, Sebelin lies and tells him that it is he who healed Arthur, thanks to some minor healing spells he cast. Confused and out of it, Arthur believes him and does his best to bury his disappointment and heartbreak that Merlin didn't return for him. It ends with Arthur getting better and promoting Sebelin to his personal servant, despite disapproval from both Gaius and Gwen.

Chapter "22": The Fourth Year/Camelot: Like a snake whispering in his ear, Sebelin becomes closer to Arthur. Arthur, trying to move on, begins to rely on him and treat him as a sort of surrogate for Merlin. As Sebelin builds up his reputation through Arthur, other servants begin to become wary of him. Unlike Merlin, who was simply with Arthur for his sake and out of a desire to help him, Sebelin quickly becomes drunk on the power he's given. During this time, he runs into Morgana as a servant without realizing it. Arthur, meanwhile, despite using him as a substitute, still relies heavily on his psychic link with the actual Merlin. Merlin, meanwhile, finds peace in being able to connect with Arthur once again. This chapter expands upon how terribly Arthur does apart from Merlin now that he's had him in his life, how he feels a bit lost, as though something is missing. He begins looking into magic, even going so far as to go on discrete "missions" which has him tracking down druids to talk to them about what they know. It ends with him approaching Gaius to talk about Merlin's destiny and to ask about more details about what Merlin's done to help him in the past.

Chapter "23": The Fifth Year/Camelot. Sebelin can feel Arthur slipping away. Or rather, he can feel that their connection isn't as strong as he wants it to be. He knows and is fine with being used as a replacement but he resents that Arthur won't open up to him the way he did to Merlin. He'd often seen them together before Merlin was banished and spied on them, so he knows how close they used to be. Much closer than he is with the king currently. His anger and resentment grows both towards Arthur and the former warlock, his heart twisting in bitterness and resentment. It's during this time that he's approached by Morgana in disguise. She plans to trap him and magically torture him to get information about Arthur, but instead, he beats her to the punch by asking (since she promised to sell him something magical, for the right price) if she knew of any way to contact the witch Morgana. Intrigued, she asks what business he has with her and he tells her he wants to drag Arthur from the throne. Suspicious, she asks why he would want to do that and he candidly tells her that he just wants to ruin his happiness, to drag him down in the mud. When pressed to answer why again, he gives her a broken, evil grin and tells her that if he can't be happy with the power he has now, then he won't let Arthur seek out other avenues of happiness. He'll ruin all his chances. Cuts to a scene of Arthur and Gaius talking about the various times Merlin helped him. Gaius, not realizing that Merlin withheld certain details to protect him, relays the fact that he lied about his mother's circumstances, stumbling when Arthur begins interrogating him about it, livid. Once he's heard all he knows, he turns to Merlin for answer, shouting through their psychic connection. Merlin, surprised by the sudden assault on his psyche, doubles over in a meeting with the princes and their still dying father, clutching his head. He ends up collapsing from the overwhelming assault, much to the aghast of the princes.

Chapter "24": The Fifth Year Cont./Camelot. Alistair and Sebastian rush Merlin to the court physician, a knight carrying the warlock as Sebastian leads the way, barking orders and making sure that servants clear a path for them. Alistair stays next to the knight, checking on Merlin's forehead for fever and reaching out to grab his limp hand, squeezing it. Once there, he refuses to leave until Merlin is well again, only stepping aside to allow the court physician to tend to him. Sebastian watches on with pursed lips. Cuts back to Arthur, pacing and fuming. He can feel that Merlin isn't conscious but he can't sense why, that he's the cause of it. When Merlin awakes again, Arthur immediately begins attacking him once again, angrily demanding answers to what seems like a million questions. Merlin, meanwhile, can feel all the radiating emotions from Arthur in his head, stabbing his mind; grief, betrayal, and bone-deep anger. He sits in his bed, panting and looking very pale, as he tries to sort through all this to answer Arthur's questions. It's hard navigating through everything and eventually, unable to take the toll, ends up slamming the connection between them closed. Abruptly cut off, hurt and alarmed and even angrier, Arthur goes to Gaius and demands he tell him everything, sparing no detail and holding nothing back. Finally, Arthur is learning the hard truths behind magic, that it's not all black and white, that not every decision was made with pride. Some were made out of desperation and others, out of necessity, against Merlin's wishes. In Mercia, Alistair sits by Merlin's side as he recuperates, watching him with worry. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he murmurs softly to Merlin and gently presses a chaste kiss to his forehead. Sebastian, having just entered the room to come check on his brother, looks on in stony silence. His expression is hard set and determined, his eyes angry, and his hands curl slowly into tight fists.

Chapter "25": The Sixth Year. Merlin and Alistair become better friends and steadily grow closer. In Camelot, Arthur comes to grips with the fact that not only has he been lied to by multiple people who betrayed him, but that his father also lied to him about his birth and heritage. He was indeed born from magic, without his mother's consent. He goes often to see Gaius, abandoning his relationship with Sebelin in order to seek comfort from the familiar, even if it isn't comfortable. He often confronts him about Merlin's lies, asking about this instance or that. Gaius tries to carefully navigate this mine field alone, finally seeing exactly how unsteady the wire Merlin had been balancing upon the entire time he was by Arthur's side as he kept everything separate and apart. Even angry and hurt as he is, he can't bring himself to ask the one question he wants to know the most. Why did Merlin lie about his heritage. Meanwhile, Merlin focuses on trying to help the king get comfortable as they all prepare for his inevitable passing. He hears a little of Sebastian and Alistair's back story and learns the truth about the king's first queen, a druid woman he fell in love with, despite his father's protests. It's finally revealed how tenuous Alistair's hold on the throne is, that there are many nobles who secretly call him a bastard son, despite the king having made his wife his queen and both having been married more than a year before he was born. Sebastian has no interest in holding the throne, will do anything and give up anything in order to make sure his older brother ascends, but it isn't up to only them. His mother, the second queen, had tried to take Alistair's life a couple of times, had treated the people horrendously while pretending to be a benign ruler, and had abused her own son in her quest for more power. It was only the third queen, a young woman he'd married solely in hopes of providing his sons a mother, who had managed to repair this otherwise broken family. It was thanks to her efforts that had breathed life into all of them and mended so many broken fences, so he begs the young warlock to look after her after his passing and to help his sons keep the peace as one ascends to the throne. It ends with Sebastian approaching Merlin and asking to begin a romantic relationship, to become lovers.

Chapter "27": The Sixth Year Cont. Sebastian has just propositioned Merlin to become lovers and Merlin looks completely unsure of what to think or how to react. He says he'd like some time to think about it but is already looking for the correct way to turn him down without ruining their friendship. He takes to avoiding both the princes and trying to sort out his feeling for both of them. However, Alistair isn't content with being apart for no reason and keeps trying to find reasons for them to "accidentally" meet up. Merlin, frazzled, says some things he later regrets and they end up getting in a small fight. The two of them separate and Sebastian choses now to try to "comfort" Merlin, pleased when he decides to take him up on his offer. He kisses his forehead, promising to take good care of him and to treasure him but carefully avoiding any words of love. Merlin feels some reluctance but they part on good terms for the day. Sebastian watches him head back to his small home and thinks to himself that he's glad he stopped things before they escalated. He will do anything to stop them from realizing that their feelings for each other aren't platonic and that this might be reciprocated. The rest of the chapter is spent building up their relationship until it takes a more intimate turn. Sebastian is surprised and a little touched to find that Merlin really hadn't lied, that he'd never been with Arthur in that way and that he really is his first man. He vows to take care of him for the rest of their lives and that he'll never want for anything. Merlin frowns at him a little and smooths Sebastian's forehead, telling him not to worry and that he doesn't blame him. When asked what he doesn't blame him for, Merlin admits that he isn't a complete idiot and after being together for these past months, he can tell that he isn't the one Sebastian is in love with. The prince looks defensive but Merlin simply lies next to him, soothing him with light touches, and asks why he lied. Sebastian sighs and tells him it's a long story before wrapping an arm around Merlin and kissing his forehead back. He says that he didn't lie about treasuring him; he lied about a lot of things but that isn't something he lied about.

Chapter "27": The Seventh Year. It starts off with the death of the king. Merlin stands near Sebastian on a muggy day as they bury him, hot and sticky and icky and not at all fitting a day for the burial of such a beloved king. The country is to go into a ninety day mourning period before the next king is officially crowned. He watches as the king is carried into his tomb, not the grand precession but Alistair, the stiff stance and how there seems to be a great weight around him. He watches him through the whole funeral, and it's only a light touch on his side from Sebastian that reminds him of where he is. He leaves, feeling regretful that he can't approach him right now and comfort him, wishing that he was closer to him somehow so he could be by Alistair's side in his time of need. He spends the night with Sebastian, simply holding him and comforting him, all while thinking of Alistair and wondering what he must be feeling. The next ninety days seem long, to drag on through muggy weather to cold, to rainy and wet. Merlin watches as Alistair goes out in all kinds of weather, dressed in mourning clothes, to stand before his father's grave and stare at it silently. And occasionally, he'll turn, and no matter where he is, their eyes always seem to meet. And in those moments, he's breathless but he hates when they end. Sebastian becomes pensive, worried that this might be the thing to tip the scales and draw them even closer to one another. He wants to keep driving them apart but he hates hurting them both. Merlin finally confronts him, asking what he's hiding and he admits to his whole plan. He wants Alistair to be king. Merlin sees nothing wrong with this statement until Sebastian elaborates. For the people to feel safe and secure, a wise king will need a queen by his side. Not a male lover and certainly not a magical one. He worries that if they realize how much they like each other, it will jeopardize his position to becoming king, or worse, that Alistair might place Merlin above his kingdom. He can't let that happen. Merlin asks him to back up, clearly confused, and asks him to elaborate, forcing Sebastian to focus on one thing. Making him back track every time, as though he can't wrap his head around it. If they both realized their feelings? Finally, Sebastian grabs him by the arms and tells him plainly that his brother likes him and as more than a friend. Merlin feels warm and fuzzy and tingly inside, and unable to help himself, squirms out of his grip, telling Sebastian he's sorry. He seeks out Alistair. The rest of the chapter is them building up what they once had, tentatively moving forward and they share a sweet kiss right at the end.

Chapter "28": The Eighth Year. The next year is of Alistair and Merlin taking strides to move forward together. Moving in sync with one another and helping advance his position as king. While it's been a while since he worked directly under someone of such high authority, Merlin does his best to help and guide Alistair, as he once had done with Arthur. However, their time together seems to come to an abrupt end when the secret letter correspondence that Alistair has been sending out finally bear fruit. His fiancee, Elaine, arrives. They've always known their time together would be short; even having stepped back, Sebastian had told Merlin he never wanted them to be together because he thought separating them later would be even crueler than never being together at all. However, with her arrival brings an end to their sweet tête-à-têtes and Alistair must formally start courting her. Sebastian does his best to comfort Merlin, although he promises never to make a move on him again. It's during one of these times that Merlin realizes he isn't the only one pained over this union. Noticing the sometimes anguished expressions when he sees them together, he slowly comes to realize that the person Sebastian loves is Elaine. When he brings this up, confronting him about it, Sebastian wilts, stating that he wouldn't be a good king, not like his brother. He wasn't good at compromise or diplomacy. He was too hot headed and would likely end up either alienating their allies or leading them into a stupid war. However, the girl he'd fallen in love with as a child was promised by a neighboring kingdom as the bride to the heir to the throne. They both were secretly in love with each other, him having courter her in private for years, but those stolen moments would have to end as well now. In order for the good of both countries and the prosperity of many people, all four of them had to set aside their feelings on this matter and let politics take it's course. By the end of the year, Alistair is married and Merlin is instated as the right hand advisor to the king, only trumped by Prince Sebastian and Queen Elaine in importance. After the ceremony, Alistair pulls Merlin aside to whisper to him that he promised to never leave his side again. Merlin agrees and closes his eyes as the new king kisses his forehead.

Chapter "29": The Ninth Year. Now married, Alistair builds a friendly relationship with his wife but has no interest in her beyond that. It's clear from the long meeting he has with his advisor that while he was prepared to marry her for the benefit of both kingdoms, he never had any intention of letting Merlin stray far from his side. In turn, once she realizes their close relationship, Elaine begins doing her best to forge a friendship with Merlin. At first, he is wary and suspicious of her but she soon wins him over. Nearly half a year after their marriage, she admits to Merlin that she's pregnant. He's devastated, but before he can react, she quickly grabs his hand and asks the unthinkable. She asks that he cast a magic spell over her and the baby. He tries to shake her off, saying that using magic right now, when it was unnecessary, could be potentially dangerous to both her and the baby. She insists that it'll be alright and that he doesn't need to do anything big. Just a small spell to ward off any illness. She's persistent enough that he agrees and casts a small spell to boost her health and immune system. She thanks him, clearly pleased, but that starts a cycle of her coming to him, begging for him to cast small spells over her. She sticks to his side more and more the further into her pregnancy she gets, until he is nearly unraveling from nerves. Finally having had enough, he demands what she expects to happen with all these spells being cast on her. She tells him that she and Alistair made an agreement upon their wedding night that she would only bear one child for him. Whatever it might be, girl or boy, that would be his heir and he would raise it as such. After that, she could have as many children as she wanted, simply for the sake of having children, with the implication that she could have them with his brother. She tells Merlin that after this child is born, she'll finally have her happy ending, even if no one in the castle realizes it. However, it seemed unfair to her that Alistair would be forced to raise a child he never wanted in the first place. That's why, she's hoping that if Merlin casts enough little spells, perhaps some of his magic will seep into her child and give him the chance to love the child as if it was his with Merlin. The warlock is shocked by this revelation and has no idea how to react.

Chapter "30": Gwendolyn is finally born, the daughter of Alistair and his wife. However, having been surrounded in so much of his magic this whole time, she did gain one small trait from Merlin. Her eyes are the same startling, beguiling blue as his. Alistair is in awe upon holding her, calling her his treasure. While Sebastian and the Queen Elaine are involved with the raising of young Gwendolyn, it is clearly Alistair and Merlin who are most involved in her upbringing. While Alistair is helplessly devoted and dotes on her, Merlin is firm in discipline. As she grows up, she comes to love them both, although she surprisingly adores Merlin above all others. A surprise visit when she's six from Camelot has Arthur and Merlin meeting again, nearly seventeen years after he was initially banished. Arthur has grown from being separated from Merlin and from learning the truth, both as a king and as a person. He brings with him his most trusted knights, and his sons, Gareth and Bedivere. He's finally made peace with the fact that things will never go back to how they once were but he hopes that one day, he can forge a friendship anew with Merlin. Merlin agrees that he would like that. Arthur asks later if Gwendolyn likes playing with his sons, to which she agrees. He asks if she'd like to marry one of them, testing the waters for a political marriage, and she emphatically turns him down, saying she won't marry anyone other than Merlin. He laughs at that and admits that Merlin is pretty great and he's kind of sorry that he couldn't marry him himself. Merlin turns bright red at that comment. Everything seems peaceful once again, until mentions of problems in Camelot are brought up. Arthur admits that Morgana has been a plague for the last eleven years but that he's been trying to make strides to make up with his sister. He no longer wants to kill magic user indiscriminately. Seated together as they discuss this, Alistair reaches over to grip Merlin's hand briefly, knowing what's coming. When the visit comes to an end, Merlin, who's been battling with himself this entire time, offers to go back to Camelot with Arthur.

Chapter "31": Merlin returns to Camelot without a lot of fanfare, not interested in what the people think of him anymore. This time, he is not returning to his former home but is arriving as an emissary of Mercia. Any attack on him by the people, any at all, will be considered an attack on Mercia and the reaction promised is war. Merlin, however, isn't worried and tells Arthur as he swings down from his horse, more confident than he's ever been in Camelot, that he will react with magic to protect his life and he has no intention of being a push over any longer. He stays for several months, weeding out the threats left behind by Morgana, who seems more vindictive and spiteful over the years than actually angry. When he finally comes across her and she's brought in by the knights, she seems almost animalistic. There's a brief flash back of her time together with Sebelin. Of the two of them becoming lovers, licking each other's wounds in an unhealthy relationship. Of the knights finding out about him and running him through as a traitor. Of her claiming his body and holding it for hours, only for a single tear to slip out as she finally speaks, calling him a fool. How her anger now isn't about Arthur attacking those with magic but at him trying to set things right. How she's lashing out at him over thinking that he could ever have a happy ending after all the misery she's endured. Merlin sits across from her in the prison cell, as she's restrained with magic reducing manacles, as he had once been restrained, and slowly begins to speak. He speaks of the journey of a young man, of arriving in Camelot only to see someone being executed, beheaded, for having magic. Of how it made him sick and how he wondered if it would be his head next on the chopping block. Her hateful words die down as she listens to him weave his tale without inflection, simply telling what happened to him simply because he was born with magic. And slowly, the years seem to fall away and they are finally able to see each other as they've always been. Kin. She cries, yelling at him, demanding to know why he didn't reach out to her, why he never helped her. And he replies, quiet as ever, that he was a coward. He'd been scared and cautioned against doing it. He has regrets, so many regrets, about many things in his life, including reaching out to her, but there were some things that just couldn't be undone and time was one of them. It was ever moving forward, whether they wanted it to or not. He spends weeks with her down there, not leaving, simply talking to her as she screams and rages and listens. And when he's done, he tells both Arthur and Gwen (after a nice, long, hot bath) that he'll be taking her with him. When the nobles all object to this, demanding that she be put to death, it's his dragon lord voice that comes booming out, demanding that they be silent. In a much softer voice, he says that Camelot has spilled enough blood, spread enough death, in regards to magic. As he is the last of the old religion, so she is the last of her kind and he will not allow her to be executed by any except those with magic. At more objections, he simply states that he will trade his life for hers and that they are welcome to go to war with Mercia instead. It ends with him leading Morgana, still shackled, out of the cells. When she asks if she's to be killed, he simply nods and doesn't say anything in response.

Chapter "32": Morgana is surprised when she's led through the city and then out of Camelot by Merlin, finally demanding as they start their trek through the woods where he's taking her and when she'll be killed. He tells her he's taking her to the lake of Avalon and that she'll "die" there. She is silent in response, remembering that's where he lay his beloved to rest and taking comfort in the fact that she isn't hated by him, even with how twisted she's become. He brings her to the lake, where he finally releases her from her manacles. At her startled exclamation, he tells her that from this day forward, Morgana is dead and that from now on, she must become a new person. He tells her to get in the water and beckons someone forward, who'd been following this whole time. Gwen. Gwen comes forward and helps Morgana in the water, helping her bathe and get clean after being held captive in the prison for weeks. They talk, finally talk for real, and for the first time, she starts to feel a small amount of closure. Once she's finished washing, Merlin steps out from a grove of trees, surprising them both by carrying a sword. A sword they both recognize instantly, for two very different reasons. Gwen, because it's so familiar and Morgana, because it's magic. Excalibur. Merlin beckons her forward and Morgana steps forward with trepidation, yet trust, and no small amount of hope. Merlin tells her that he hopes she remembers this for the rest of her life and then lifts up her wet hair, cutting a great deal of it off. Gwen covers her mouth her hands, and Morgana gasps. He tells her that hair has weight and it can be felt being cut. That it as much a part of the body as any limb and there's a feeling of something missing when it's gone. That simply by losing it, it can change so much, not just appearance but attitude. He tells her that from today onward, Morgana is gone and that with her much shorter hair and her final chance, hopefully she can become a different person. Gwen harshly scolds him, saying he should have at least asked first and then shoos him away, stating now she has to fix her up again. She guides Morgana back to the water, pulling out her own dagger to carefully cut away the strands he missed and trim it up nicer. Morgana stares at the familiar, yet unfamiliar reflection in the water, watching it ripple as strands of her hair hit and then drift in the water. It's a strange sensation, watching as the last of her long hair is cut away, as though her identity is being stripped and now she can become whoever she wants to be. "Morgan. Morgan le Fey." She says out loud, telling Gwen her new name. She says she must keep it a secret from Merlin and her husband, however, as she has no intention of meeting with either of them again. Gwen laughs, the first time she's actually laughed with her in a long time, and agrees. Morgan le Fey admits that she isn't sure if her outlook on life has wholly changed but Merlin has at least spared her life and for that, she's grateful. She says she won't go after Arthur specifically any more but she promises Gwen, that should he or anyone else, in Camelot or in any other country she should find herself in, persecute those with magic unjustly, she will not hold back and will punish them with the full extent of her abilities. It ends with her cleaned up and leaving on a journey, whether to find herself or to find peace through vengeance on those she feels deserves it remains unknown. As they watch her leave, Merlin hands Excalibur back to Arthur and asks if he's okay without saying goodbye. He replies that not seeing his sister ever again is the only peace he could possibly give her. Merlin nods and then, as she disappears over a hill, says it's time for him to go home.

Epilogue: Both Gwen and Arthur express shock and disbelief over this, having enjoyed having him back after all this time, and much loving the more confident, slightly sassy Merlin who had no fear in talking back or teasing them, much as he'd had before he was banished. He smiles at them wanely and states that he was only an emissary, that he had no intentions of returning for good. He also states that they cannot keep him here any longer, as his escort home has arrived. Much to their surprise, Gwaine is waiting for them not too far ahead as they head back through the woods, towards Camelot. Gwaine escorts them all back, cordial with both Gwen and Arthur but also aloof. He's cool exterior only melts when he talks to Merlin, back to the jokester he once was when he'd been a knight of the round table. He waits outside as Merlin gets his stuff, the warlock telling both the king and queen yet again he has no intention of staying and that he's much happier now in Mercia. Arthur snaps that he could be happy here, too! To which Merlin replies quietly, that he had been, once, but that was a thing in the past. Now, Camelot is a fond but distant memory, which is how he'd prefer it. He never wants again to go through the feelings he had before he'd been brought back to Mercia once more, reminding them both that though time had healed the wounds they'd dealt, it had left deep scars behind. Merlin heads home with Gwaine, thanking him yet again for coming with him so long ago and for being his friend this entire time. Gwaine laughs and asks if he'd ever doubt it. Merlin just smiles in response. Percival and Elyan greet them as they're leaving, both chatting with them and wishing them well on their journey. Then Elyan is guiding Percival away, stating they don't want to take up too much of their time and they want to see how Leon is doing, announcing that his wife is expecting today. For a brief moment, things focus on Camelot. Percival and Elyan visiting Leon in the tavern, where he mopes and he waits for news on his wife and her latest pregnancy, practically sending his tankard flying when someone runs in shouting it's a girl, as he bolts out of there and runs for home. Elyan laughing and saying that he will never not find it funny how worried he gets whenever she's pregnant and yet this must be his sixth child. Percival corrects him, saying it's only his fifth, and Elyan laughs again, slapping him on the shoulder and asking when he can expect some children from Percival and his young wife. He smiles briefly, then pats Elyan on the shoulder and apologizes softly. The young man looks up at him, smiling a bit, and pats his hand, telling him it can't be helped if he didn't feel the same and that he's fine with being single. He'll just dote on Percival's kids, Leon's and all the nephews and nieces his sister wants to provide him with. A brief flash to Gwen and Arthur having a quiet moment, with her rocking her two year old daughter as Arthur reads quietly, only for them to both groan as the boys burst in, demanding that the king come play with them. He agrees to get them out of her hair as she settles their little girl again, giving her a brief kiss on the temple and dragging them both out to go train. A brief look at Tristan, chatting animatedly with Mordred, telling him all about the smuggling trade, with the two of them teaming up for a few years. Morgan le Fey joining them, the two finally reunited, and together, all three building a small community. Alistair and Merlin working side by side to create a better and brighter kingdom, happily receiving visitations from Camelot and even starting a correspondence with Arthur. And, many years, centuries later, Merlin as an old man in the modern era, setting aside a book and reaching for his now lukewarm tea, making a face as he takes a sip. Looking out into the world, thinking to himself how much thing have changed since then, how he misses them, and then standing up. He leaves the book behind, a book on Arthurian Romance, and strides towards the campus where he teaches literature and history, especially the importance of literature in history. And he hopes that perhaps soon, he'll dream of Lancelot and that the knight will take him to visit his loved ones on the other side of the veil.