This is incredibly stupid and I only wrote it because of how completely frustrated I am over the writer's block I have for my wrestling stories. I love both anime and wrestling but lately my anime muses have been killing my wrestling ones. So…
I don't own anyone mentioned in this fic, cartoon or otherwise…and this is NOT meant to bash anyone. I'm just frustrated and tired
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Match 1: Mugen vs Ryback
Never let it be said that Ryback is the sharpest tool in the shed. He is the first person to spot the animated characters that suddenly, and unexplainable, show up backstage one day in early October. After all, if he were the smartest tool in the shed, he would have heard the fans chanting "Gooooldberg" at him….right?
He's sees the first one, a skinny, small looking guy with a red jacket, shorts, and a sword sheathed on his back. He has weird hair that almost looks like an afro and he's scratching it now, staring at his surroundings.
"Hmmm….what the hell? How much did I drink?"
And because Ryback is a bull headed idiot and seems to think that every person backstage is exactly like the no named locals that he's been beating so easily, he charges like the idiot he is. The stranger in the red jacket sees him coming, unfortunately and, in a swift move that Ryback doesn't even see, the sword is unsheathed.
There's a spray of blood and Ryback hears the word "Bitch," before he falls…
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During the break….Ladd Russo vs Everyone
Stan doesn't know what the hell is going on but there is blood and somehow, someway, the show hasn't been cancelled. He sees a fellow stage hand lying on the floor and then he sees the culprit. It's just a blonde guy dressed all in white, skipping down the hallway with a gleeful look on his face.
Just like years ago when he'd first been kicked in the face by Shawn Michaels, Stan doesn't have the wherewithal to run when he sees this guy. That's his folly.
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Match #2: Alphonse Elric vs The Big Show
"What's going on?"
Show hears the voice, a voice that sounds like a child and, due to his new villain demeanor, doesn't feel the first need to help of course. When he turns the corner, however, he doesn't find a child. Instead he finds only a suit of armor….a suit of armor that's MOVING!
A suit of armor that's MOVING and ANIMATED. He stops short at the sight, because he is, after all, slightly smarter than Ryback. But, eventually, his villain ways overtake him and this thing is different, after all, and he charges as well.
The…thing brings its arms up, and Show does feel the spikes on its arms when they sink into him.
"OH NO! Brother, where are you?!" Is the last thing he hears…
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Match # 3: Light Yagami and L vs the tag team division
"Oh, no, Light. It seems as if we are surrounded."
And they are, Kofi thinks. He and Truth, the Prime Time Players, and the Colons are all there. Kofi isn't sure what made them decide to work together but he's glad they did, despite the fact that the two men before him look like nothing more than teenagers really.
One looks well dressed and is standing up straight. The other is hunched over with messy hair, plain clothes and he's barefoot. There's a smirk on his face even as they are faced with six opponents.
"I calculate that there is a zero percent chance of you surviving this encounter," the messy haired one states in a monotone. The other one pulls out a notebook and Kofi smirks at this himself. What could that do…?
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Match # 4: Edward Elric vs Wade Barrett
Wade spots the kid with golden blonde hair first. He's a cute kid, with wide, golden brown eyes and probably could have been polite and even adult about it if Wade hadn't spoken first.
"Hey, who's the little kid?" He asks in surprise.
"WHO YOU CALLING A TINY LITTLE PIPSQEEK?!" is the yell he receives before the runt claps his hands together and then presses them against the wall. The bricks fly out and crash in towards Wade and, because he's not an animated character like the kid, they do successfully crush him.
"Oh no. AL!" is the last thing Wade hears…
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Another break: Ladd Russo vs Everyone…again
Dana is just a cook. That's all she's meant to be. She's not meant to be skulking around backstage after most of her co-workers have been left lying in blood. She's not meant to be ANYTHING other than a cook, dammit!
She meets the guy in the blood splattered white suit halfway down the hallway. Or, quite literally, she's halfway down the hallway when she literally runs into the guy in the white suit.
"Hey, honey," he says, grabbing her by the waist and giving her his best version of a leer.
"Uh…hi," she says nervously.
"You wanna be my girlfriend?"
"What would that entail?" She asks nervously, pretty sure this is the guy who's been killing all her co-workers. But….he is pretty cute…with his blonde hair and blue eyes…
"Well, you travel around with me while I kill all the people deservin' in this world and then, when I've finished, and only then, I kill you! Waddya say?"
She pauses, but only for a second. "Um….okay."
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Main Event: Claire Stanfield vs John Cena and Sheamus
In reality, they never have a chance. The red headed, blood splattered, train conductor, quite literally takes them apart. John and Sheamus never even get a hit in. The red head dodges every move they throw at him, jumping and flying with seemingly inhuman feats.
Cartoon characters, John thinks, as Claire Stanfield crushes his head against the ring post and the fingers around his neck constrict until he can't breathe, suck!
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Anime's used: Samurai Champloo, Full Metal Alchemist, Death Note, & Baccano!. I know, short list but it's not meant to be taken seriously so I didn't use many. I just really wanted to get my frustration out over the writer's block.