Title: Fulmination
Pairing: Spitfire, hints of other pairings.
Summary: She still hasn't told him the truth about Mount Justice and the guilt is starting to get to her.
…
She's been home exactly three days when they go visit the team.
The team's base is now the Hall of Justice – not permanently, so they say, but it's been a few months already since…
Well, they haven't moved to someplace else yet.
Everyone's there – All of the new team, all of the old team, everyone gathered in the small meeting room.
It's been three days since she came home, and she had finally made Wally come with her to make sure everyone was okay.
And they were, or at least as okay as they could be. Everyone was bruised, battered, and several had broken limbs. Plus she was pretty sure Mal, Jaime, and Kon hadn't stopped hovering over Karen, Cassie, and M'gann (no matter how much those three could kick each of the boy's asses) respectively.
Of course, Wally hadn't really left her side since the whole mess ended, either.
Kaldur's there, of course, and she can't help but go up and hug him. She's seen him for months in nothing but his Black Manta suit and seeing him dressed in his old clothes is just a really good thing to see.
He hugs her back with all of his Kaldur'ahm stiffness, heightened by months without friends, months of being evil. And, even though she's spent every night hugging Wally, touching Wally, experiencing the closeness with someone she missed so, so much, she knows this hug is different. It's platonic, for one, but mainly it's the hug of two people who have seen, experienced, done so many horrors.
Wally standing behind her, and as she steps away from Kaldur, she can see him glowering. He doesn't trust - or maybe it's forgive – Kaldur yet. For pretending to be evil, for putting her life in danger, for blowing up the mountain.
She hasn't told him yet. She hasn't told him that she blew up the mountain, and the guilt's been nagging at her for so long. She's reminded of her first year on the team, when no one knew who her parents were and she lied over and over again to all of her friends.
She'll tell him soon, she tells herself as she goes and truly sees everyone whose thought she was dead for so long.
/
When everyone sees her without her necklace for the first time since her 'death', there are mixed emotions from everyone but those who were in on the plan.
Zatanna whispers, "So that's what the necklace was for" and glares over at a sheepish Dick, tears running down her cheeks.
M'gann shrieks. Judging by the tears, she thinks it's safe to say the shriek is from happiness, not anger. The old M'gann's been showing up more and more.
Superboy looks angry – really angry – for a minute, before his face softens. He smiles, and she guesses that's about as close to tears as she's going to get him.
Raquel and Barbara kind of stare at her for a minute, before both of them start crying.
And then there's lots of hugging as exclamations of "Oh my god!", "No way!', and "Crash!" can be heard from the newer members of the team.
\\
They're home – her and Wally. They'd been out late. Everyone wanted to know exactly what had been happening over the past few months, and they're first meeting four days before had just been lots of hugging and crying, so they weren't exactly satisfied.
But now they're home, and they're lying in bed facing each other, just hugging each other, Nelson at their feet.
"Wally," she whispers.
"Yes?" he breaths in to her hair, and, oh god, she's missed this. She's missed him. She doesn't know if she'll ever be able to leave him again because her heart finally feels whole, good, again.
"I- I missed you so much." She chickens out, tears rolling down her cheeks, as he hugs her tighter and soothes her.
…
She feels like a liar, a coward. Why can't she tell her boyfriend, the guy she's been with for almost six years, the guy she loves, the truth?
Because you don't want him to look at you like he looks at Kaldur, a part of her says. You don't want him to hate you.
And god, it's frickin Déjà vu. The guilt is tearing her apart and it's only been five days.
"Cut the crap, Artemis." She tells herself. "He's not going to hate you. Just tell him, you idiot."
"Tell me what?" Wally asks from another room, and he's there in, yes, a flash.
She knew she'd been talking out loud, but loud enough for him to hear? Nope.
He's staring at her, and she just kind of locks up. "Artemis…" he ventures, and somehow, that's all it takes for her to be in tears.
She barely ever cries, but here she is, sobbing and hiccupping out, "I did it…"
And Wally's just hugging her, and when she finally calms down she can hear that he's been soothing her and damn, that just makes her feel more guilty.
"I did it." She says quietly, "I pushed the button."
"What button?" he asks, confused.
She stares at the floor as she chokes out the words. "The button that blew up Mount Justice."
She knows he's shocked by the way he's stiffened and without even looking up she can see his face perfectly, because she knows him.
"Wh-what?" he coughs. She lifts her head and meets his eyes – his eyes that are filled with confusion and anger.
They stare at each other for what seems like forever, her daring him with her eyes to yell.
And then she breaks the silence. "I know you and Dick fought when it happened." He says nothing. "I know you yelled at him. Blamed him." He is still silent.
"Yell at me!" She screams at him. "Like you yelled at Dick! Like you want to yell at Kaldur! Don't be such a damn hypocrite, Wally! You can't just choose who you can be mad at!"
"I can't believe it." He finally says. "I don't want to believe it."
"Well it's true." She hisses. She doesn't know why she's mad at him. It should be the other way around, and yet he's the one that is calm.
"I barely even hesitated." She utters the last bit, the final thing that has been weighing her with guilt.
"Tell me everything." Wally demands, and she nods.
"Kaldur had to prove himself. Even with four members of the team captured, everyone doubted him – saying he still had ties to his old team. He had to prove somehow that he was loyal to the light. So he told me to blow up the mountain. I knew the plan – all of it – and I pressed the button. Just like that."
Wally's breathing heavily. "I'm such an ass!" he finally yells.
She stares at him. If she was expecting something, it certainly wasn't this. "What?" She asks. "I'm the ass. You're supposed to be hating me right now."
"I've been making you feel even worse about all this without even meaning to!" He tells her.
She feels a smile slide over her lips, one of both relief and happiness. "Wallace Rudolph West, do not make this about you!"
And then he's kissing her, long and hard. And when they finally come up for air, she whispers, :Thank you for listening."
"No problem, babe." He whispers back.
"I still want to tell the rest of the team." She says. Only Wally, Kaldur, and she know the truth, and she doesn't want anyone harboring hate for Kaldur over something she did.
"I'll be with you." He tells her, and she can feel warmth spreading through her body. Because he will.
What could go wrong?
