Hey there people! This chapter is written by me, just to give people an idea of what to write and also because this story is practically dead.

Wow. Voldemort's dead. Finally! I'm so tired, and need some space, so the domitory's out. Seamus and Dean will not shut up. I'm going to the Room Of Requirement. No one can find me there. I turn into the seventh floor corridor and stand in front of a blank concrete wall.

I close my eyes and think. I need somewhere to take a break. I don't want anyone to come in and find me.

A door materialises in front of me and I walk in. There's a very comfortable looking bed, great. And a table? With a small lime green book sitting on it? Why on earth is that here? Kind of random. I walk over flip through it, it's blank. I turn to the front page to see if there's anything written.

Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs (and a little help from another friend) present you with this green book, which will do something cool in 3, 2, 1...

Wait, what?

2 years ago

My eyes snap open and I sit up in bed, only to be greeted by a bucket of water thrown in my face. Oh well, at least it isn't Stinksap.

"NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM! FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, IT'S 8 'O CLOCK IN THE MORNING! GET OUT OF BED ALREADY!"

My grandmother storms out of the room, dressed in her ancient, hideous old people clothes. I swear that woman has some issues, but I guess I shouldn't be the one to talk.

"QUICKLY! RUN!" She bellows from downstairs. "You could use some exercise anyway... burn some calories..." Really, Gran? You just have to bring up my fatness? It may come in useful someday! Probably not, though. There, Luna. I tried to be optimistic! Happy?

I trudge to my cupboard, dripping wet and take the first thing I see: an old blue cotton shirt and trousers. I hastily change and stumble down the winding staircase, then rush to the dining room and plop down on the chair opposite Gran, panting and gasping for breath. And of course, she starts barking at me again. Terrific life, huh?

"Eat up!" She shoves a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me, I gobble it up in five minutes and return the plate to the sink. I'm about to run back to my room and finally have some peace but there seems to be other plans for me. "Not so fast!" Gran says sternly. "Sit." She points at my vacant seat with today's copy of the Daily Prophet, which had been lying on the table. I furrow my eyebrows and do as she says. Never cross Gran. She may look like an old crippled hag, but she is practically the opposite.

"Today, I have decided to give you a lecture on growing up, especially during this very dangerous, troubled, problematic time." she begins. What? But doesn't she have- "I am free this morning as my yoga class has been cancelled for the time being," she says, answering my question, "due to the high risk of being brutally murdered, or kidnapped and sent off to be bound and gagged and cooped up in a cellar by Death Eaters." I squirm a bit at this part. "I don't see what the big deal is! What do those blithering bollockheads want with us elderly folks who just want to stay healthy? Scrimgeour is too paranoid, everyone is!" I feel tempted to point out that being "brutally murdered, or kidnapped and sent off to be bound and gagged and cooped up in a cellar by Death Eaters" isn't the most pleasant thing in the world. It's bloody terrifying!

Gran gives me time to process what she just said, then continues, "Neville, you're growing up very quickly. And because of this time-consuming, vicious war, you have to grow up even faster. There are many changes going on in your fat body. You may also feel attracted to certain females, now I want you to treat these girls very well and remember, DON'T GET THEM PREGNANT UNTIL AFTER MARRIAGE!"

"Gran!" I feel my face flushing. Awkward...

"Deal with it, young boy! Next, you must possess etiquette manners and be less careless. I forgot to mention, we are going over for tea with the Abbotts later this afternoon, I do not want a repeat of last time, understand? Be thankful they were kind enough not to charge you for breaking that lovely glass of theirs! And try not to burp, Hannah may have found that amusing but I did not, neither did Mr. and Mrs. Abbott." Yes, I know I am very clumsy and forgetful. I have been my whole life! How much longer is this talk going to go on for?

Looks like someone heard me. An owl hooting can be heard in the distance and a small figure is approaching the window, getting larger and larger. What's an owl doing here? A letter for Gran most likely. It's getting closer now, it's holding a letter. Hey, it looks like the type of owls used at Hogwarts. Oh! Our booklist for our sixth year, I forgot. Yeah, just the booklists and...

"MERLIN'S SPOTTY SOCKS! MY O.W.L. RESULTS!" I look at Gran, my eyes widening. She just looks out the window, nodding her head. "Right, it's about time isn't it?"

I turn around again and jump back. A barn owl is on the table, looking expectantly at me with it's right leg sticking out, tied to said leg is an envelope with the Hogwarts Crest on it. I quickly detach the envelope from the small bird and watch as it flies out the window and away from this old house. My hands are shaking now. Great job, Neville, and you're a Gryffindor!

"Hurry up! I want to know how you faired!" I fall backwards and onto the floor in fright. Ugh, I am such a wimp. I get up and fumble with the envelope and its contents. Eventually, I pull out the parchment with my results.

ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS

Pass Grades:

Outstanding (O)

Exceeds Expectations (E)

Acceptable (A)

Fail Grades:

Poor (P)

Dreadful (D)

Troll (T)

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM HAS ACHIEVED:

Astronomy: T

Care Of Magical Creatures: E

Charms: E

Defence Against The Dark Arts: E

Divination: P

Herbology: O

History Of Magic: P

Potions: A

Transfiguration: A

Oh my mandrakes! I got an "O" in Herbology! And an "E" in Care of Magical Creatures and Defence against the Dark Arts and Charms! I'm not a complete failure! Before I can reread my marks to check if I'm dreaming, the sheet is snatched out of my hands. Gran scans it and looks unimpressed. All because I didn't do well in Transfiguration, I think.

"Not bad... When you get back to school, take Transfiguration if you can. Ditch History Of Magic, Divination, Astronomy and Potions. I'd ask you to drop Care Of Magical Creatures too but then you'd only have three subjects, too little. Definitely do Defence Against The Dark Arts and Herbology, or you'll get it from me. Don't bother about Charms, it's pointless anyway." Psh, the only reason Gran doesn't want me to take charms is because she failed her O.W.L. And fat chance I'll get into Transfiguration.

"We're done with that. Let us resume our conversation. When at the Abbotts' what do you say?"

Here we go again. "Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Abbott, Hannah." I groan.

"No whining, young boy! This is an important life skill! Then you extend your hand like this," Gran sticks out her hand, "and they'll hand you theirs. Then, you firmly shake it." She grabs my hand and shakes it vigorously. "It would also be polite to kiss Mrs Abbott and Hannah's hand but a handshake will do for this occasion." Ew! I am not kissing anyone! "What do you say after that?"

I resist the urge to roll my eyes, knowing that doing so would result in me getting smacked in the head with whatever is nearby that won't give me brain damage. "How are you this fine and lovely day?"

"Good! For once, your memory is not failing you. And then, you wait for them to let you in. When you walk, no slouching! And..."