Hunger Games: When All is Lost

Chapter 1 of a new Hunger Games story, enjoy.

Disclaimer: Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins.

Inner Turmoil

KATNISS POV

I sighed as I tried, mentally, to prepare myself as much as possible. It had been a constant struggle to control myself. Ever since I came back from the Games, despite everything I said, despite my desire to forget, I couldn't. Nowadays, despite my efforts to focus, my mind was only ever on one thing, Peeta Mellark. Peeta Mellark, my fellow tribute in the Hunger Games, the last one alive at the end apart from me. But the rules stated that only one of us could survive; until I forced them to let us both live, I used the Nightlock berries to force their decision, both or none. Throughout all this I played along with what I thought was a plan, a mere ploy, of us being lovers, but I knew for Peeta, it was real. What I didn't realize at the time, but knew all too well now, was that for me; it was an act to begin with, but it became real, I found myself growing more and more attached to him. It hadn't been to deceive the Capitol that I planned that double suicide gesture. It was simple, I couldn't live without him. The problem was, by the time all this made sense to me, it was too late. I had driven Peeta away by admitted that I was acting and now we were barely speaking to each other. Worse still the news of this had infuriated Gale to the point where we no longer hunted together and when he did speak to me, he was like Peeta, short clipped sentences, no more words than necessary. Recently I had also begun to get a weird feeling I was being watched almost constantly, it worried me as my sixth sense for danger is remarkably good. But all of that was pushed to the back of my mind as I focused on the task at hand. I was standing across the street from the bakery where Peeta was working; I was going brave the risk of meeting his mother, who hated me more than ever now, and the possibility of being overheard by customers. I was going to tell Peeta the truth; I was going to tell him, that I truly loved him.

I gathered my courage and, now prepared, I walked over to the bakery door. I faltered however as I reached it as Mrs Mellark appeared at the door, opening it and glaring at me.

"You." She spat angrily, "What do you want?"

I forced myself to remain calm and not lose my nerve. I knew I had to get to the point quickly or it would be too late as I would lose my nerve.

"I need to talk to Peeta." I said, "It's important."

Her glare deepened and she actually looked enraged when I said Peeta's name.

"Well that's just too bad, he's not here." She snapped.

It was my turn to glare and I glanced past her to see if she was, as I suspected, lying. To my dismay she wasn't, I couldn't see Peeta anywhere in the bakery.

"He's at home." Mrs Mellark explained, "But of course you are not welcome there, now just go away and leave us alone. You've done enough damage to our family already."

"But I…" I tried to speak up, to defend myself, but Mrs Mellark cut me off. "Enough, it would've been better if you had just died in the Games, now go away!"

With that she slammed the door shut in my face and I was left to turn and walk away, miserable. I seriously contemplated going to Peeta's house but I changed my mind. That would mean facing his father and brothers, while they didn't hate me like Mrs. Mellark did; I wasn't exactly their favourite person since I broke Peeta's heart. So I was left to trudge back home aimlessly. As I walked I passed Gale, who took great pains to ignore me. I sighed, it had taken a while but I finally understood what had caused our friendship to fall apart like this. Gale had the same feelings for me as I had for Peeta. He wasn't satisfied with being just a friend, when he finally revealed that to me, he hoped I would accept his feelings and return them. When I refused he was angry and stalked off, muttering to himself, now he didn't even look me in the eye.

I had that wary feeling of being watched again, I had reached my front door when I felt a creeping sensation up my spine. I looked around but I couldn't see anyone about. Shaking my head at my paranoia I opened the door and headed inside. I found Prim sitting in the living room with Buttercup on her lap. She looked up as I came in.

"Hey Katniss, so how'd it go?" She asked, I didn't even need to reply, not that I had the energy to do so. My expression said it all. "So, no luck, did he…?"

"Peeta wasn't even there." I explained, "It was his mom."

Prim winced at that and then sighed sadly.

"Katniss I…" She seemed uncertain however at that moment our mother walked in. "Katniss, good, there you are. Could I talk to you for a minute?"

I nodded and followed her through to the kitchen. I noticed mom was looking furtive as I approached.

"What's going on?" I asked, confused, mom smiled slightly and then spoke. "There's something I wanted to show you, but I don't want Prim to see it yet."

I nodded; I knew it had to be a surprise for Prim since her birthday was only four days away. She then showed me on of the most elegant and amazing birthday cakes I had ever seen.

"Do you think she'll like it?" Mom asked, I smiled and nodded, "She'll love it, I'm sure of that."

I couldn't say much more, the style the cake was made in was far too familiar to me, there was no doubt, Peeta had made it. Despite Prim's best efforts and much to our mother's confusion, I remained in a despondent mood all day. Even Buttercup seemed to sense my depression and didn't hiss at me when I nearly stood on his tail. I was relieved when it was finally late at night as it meant I could head up to my room and mope there.

I quickly got changed into my pyjamas and lay in bed. I glanced at the phone next to my bed before forcing myself to turn away. I wouldn't do myself any favours calling Peeta at this late hour. Finally I managed to drift off into a fitful sleep. I was awoken some time later by a strange sound. I glanced at the clock, it just after one in the morning. What could've made that sound? I heard it again so I got out of bed and went to investigate. When I left my room I saw, to my surprise, that mom's bedroom door was ajar, she always closed it completely. I began to approach slowly.

"Mom?" I called out softy, no reply. "Mom, is ev-Murf, mmrrpphh!?"

Suddenly I was grabbed from behind and a gloved hand clamped over my mouth. I tried to struggle but the figures grip was like iron.

"Katniss, I've been waiting for this." The figure whispered in a disturbingly familiar voice, it was a male, I knew that much. "This is gonna be so much fun."

Despite my struggles, he was stronger than me and dragged me back towards my room, I began to panic, what was he going to do to me?

End of chapter, hope you enjoyed it, read and review please.