Rating: PG-13 (some minor violence and adult language)

Warning: Silly, angst (tiny bit), Adult language, mild violence, shonen-ai (duh!), Waff ending

Pairings: Well... let's see. Major AyaKen, some SchuFarf, Nagomi, hinted BradYohji (Yeah. Ken was taken, so we couldn't give him to Brad, now could we?)

Disclaimer: We, the TwinShades, do not OWN anything that is in any way connected to Weiss Kreuz. The only thing belonging to us are the Original Chara's in this story since we almost fried our brains making them up. We don't have money so PLEASE don't sue, this is non-profit work and for entertainment only. Thanks

Daystar and Moonshadow Shade



The Key to Darkness Bloopers

Ken: Why are we doing this again?

Day: Because I said so.

Ken: I don't think the others will appreciate this very much.

Day: I've already gotten my sister's permission, so there's nothing they can do about it.

Ken: Yeah, but.

Day: Kenken, Darling, calm down. I'll protect you from your big, bad boyfriends when we get through showing people their mistakes.

Ken: *mutters* Some of my mistakes are in here, too.

Day: Callate. Now be quiet, we're about to start.

~*~*~

Part one:

#1

"Yeah," said Aya, standing aside to let the brunette pass. Ken was halfway down the hall when Aya called out, "Ken!"

"Yeah?"

"You know, if you ever want to talk..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Day: CUT!

Moon: *glares at Schuldig* What's so funny?

Schuldig: *offstage* Ayan? Wanting to talk? No way.

Ken: *muffles his giggles in his hand*

Aya: *glares at Ken.*

Moon: Back to the top, let's try this again.

#2

Ken stood on the edge of the roof, his arms outstretched as if trying to fly. Aya arrived in time to watch in horror as his friend began to take that fatal step.

"KEN, WAIT!" Aya yelled, reaching for the other boy.

He was too late, Ken was plummeting towards the ground, landing softly on the matress set there for emergencies.

Ken: AYA! That's the fifth time!

Day: *glomping onto Ken* KENKEN! Are you alright? Where does it hurt? How many fingers am I holding up?

Moon: Daystar, he fell on a matress, off of a half-story set. He's not going to die. However, this isn't working. Ken, next time, just stop midstep.

Day: Yeah. Obviously, someone *glares at Aya* is incapable of taking care of my Darling Kenken.

Aya: *backs away again slowly.*

Moon: ENOUGH! Let's try again... for the sixth time.

#3

Aya pulled Ken inside, just as the gryphon dove for them again. This time, they sut the door in its face, just to have the door swing back open. Eitiene went tumbling down the stairs, coming to a stop only when he hit the wall.

Ken & Aya: *laughing*

Eitiene: *twitching*...ow. My contract said nothing about physical damage.

Day: You didn't sign a contract. I made you up.

Eitiene: Crap. Can't sue.

Moon: *examines door* Broken lock. Let's get that fixed and do this again.

Eitiene: Crap.

Part 2

#4

I'll show you just how much of an opponent I am, you featherbrain. Schuldig responded to the challenge and spread his mighty wings. There is no way that I"ll let you have the Keystone. You'll have to go through me first.

As you wish. was all Eiteine replied before he set into a headlong dive towards the building behind Schuldig.

Schuldig: Ouch. That had to hurt.

Eitiene: Medic? x_x

Moon: How could he miss? Schuldig is a big as a freakin' room!

Ken: Well...no, not gonna say it.

Day: *threatening* Say what, Darling?

Ken: I was going to say that Day made him, but that obviously can't be the reason he keeps messing up. No way, no how. *sweatdrops*

Day: Kenken! *glomps Ken.*

Moon: *looks at Eitiene* Do we have an extra one? I think this one is broke.

#5

"So let me get this straight," said Nagi rubbing his temples. "You three claimto be mythological creatures in human guise?"

The three nodded solemnly.

"Why the hell was I the only Schwarz to not know?"

Day: Nagito, that's not the line.

Nagi: No, really, why wasn't I told.

Moon: I know there was a reason for this...lemme think.

Schuldig: Don't strain yourself.

Moon: *whack*

Schuldig: Owie....*rubs head*

Day: *whining* We were doing so well, too...

Nagi: Sorry, but I kinda feel left out here.

Day: Deal with it...call it...um...plot.

Nagi: How does that contribute to the plot.

Day: Shut up and do it right this time.

Nagi: *mumbles*

#6

Ken huffed. "What? You don't believe me? Who do you think helped him come up with Romeo and Juliet?"

"That makes you over 4,000 years old Ken." Omi said, his voice almost gone.

Aya: *frowns, pulling out his script*

Day & Moon: What now, Aya?

Aya: I'm not sure, but did you get the ages right?

Moon: *looks at her copy of the script* Um...no.

#7

Take care, Schuldig, said Eve privately, I feel the Dark Forces are gathering more allies. Great danger for you I sense.

Schuldig faltered midair, bursting out laughing.

Day: THIS IS NOT STAR WARS, EVA!

Eva: But it fit!

Moon: *hiding laughter* Stick to the lines, people, the lines.

#8

Schuldig completed the spoken portion of the spell, and passed the cup to Ken. Feeling slightly nervous under seven pairs of watchful eyes, Ken drank it down in one gulp. There was no movement for nearly a full minute.

Unexpectedly, Ken began to shrink, a poof of pink smoke obscuring him from view. When the smoke cleared, There was a tiny brown rabbit where Ken once stood.

Day: KEN!!!!! *glomps the bunny* My poor Darling! What did they do to you! *glares at Schu and Aya* You know, it's still not too late to make this a BradKen. I like that pairing better, anyway.

Brad: *looks interested*

Moon: *picks up the spell* Day, are you sure this is the right one?

Day: Of course it is. I wrote it down myself.

Moon: *sighs* No need to change the pairing. *Brad looks disappointed* You do realize I'm the only one who can read your chickenscratch handwriting, are you not.

Day: Oops. *pets Ken* But...My Darling does make a cute bunny rabbit.

Nagi: *terrified* Rabbits....Tot...

Omi: It's okay, koi. I'll protect you.

Moon: Let me rewrite this, so that it's legible.

Part 3

#9

"You see," Ken explained to Nagi, "It has a lot more to do with perso- OW!" Ken rubbed his head where Aya had whapped him. The redhead was innocently whistling.

Nagi and Omi backed away slowly, frightened by Aya's out of character behavior.

Moon: *glares at Nagomi* What are you two doing?

Nagomi: He's scaring us.

Aya: I'm sorry, it's in the script. Day wrote it. Blame her

Day: *looks up from messing with Ken's hair* What?

Moon: *sighs* Nothing. Let's try again.

#10

"Yeah," said Yohij, offering Brad a cigarette. The American took it and stared at it as if it were a snake.

"You want me to smoke this?"

Moon: BRADLEY CRAWFORD, YOU SMOKE THAT CANCER STICK THIS MINUTE!

Day: *covers her ears* You're loud.

Brad: I don't smoke.

Moon: In this scene, you do.

Brad: I don't want to die of lung cancer.

Moon: *cracking her knuckles* An illness you could be healed of, or fatal injuries. Your choice.

Brad: Give me the damn cigarette.

#11

Yohji raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking abou...Aya, WHAT ARE YOU DO-" SPLASH!!!!!

Day: DARLING! *dives in after him*

Moon: Aya, why did you just throw Ken into the water?

Yohji: *crosses arms and taps foot, sighing*

Aya: *looks from Moon, to Yohji, to the water, and back to Moon.* Oops?

Day: AYA, SHI-NE!

#12

Yohji's immeadiate anger at Aya was replaced by sudden panic as the water started to fill his lungs. He needed to get back up fast, but his soaked clothes startes to pull him down deeper into the dark water. After struggling for a few minutes, he suddenly stilled, floating face down in the water.

Moon: I hate to ask this, but is he supposed to float like that?

Brad: YOHJI!

Day: Oops...I think we need a new Yohji...Someone get him out of there.

Part 4

#13 From there on out, it was utter chaos, as food and dishes were flung forn one drake to the other. Aya ducked a well aimedpancake, and the man it hit retaliated by flinging a pie atAya. Both Aya and Makoto ducked, so the pie hit Ken right in the face.

Moon: *walking in* STOP THIS NOW! Daystar, I thought you said you could handle this while I took my coffebreak.

Day: I can. I kinda liked it.

Moon: *sighs* You know it's not nice to continually change the script on them.

Day: Do I look like I care about being nice

Moon: No, not really. *to the boys* Continue

Part 4

#14

Aya narrowed his eyes warily, he didn't know what this supernatural horse was up to, but he wouldn't be caught off guard.

The mare changed into her human form, frying the impudent drake.

Moon: CUT! Lunaria, what the hell was that for.

Lunaria: *looking shocked* But...that's what my script says.

Moon: Let me see it...*reads Lunaria's script* DAY!

Day: *whistles innocently*

Moon: Why did you change Lunaria's script?

Day: *puppy eyes* Me?

Moon: Yes, you.

Day: Revenge. Aya dropped Ken off of a building!

Moon: *rubs temples* I'm getting a headache here.

Brad: That's my line.

Moon: *glares at Brad* Fine, Day. But after this, no more revenge.

Day: Okay, fine *hides her thesarus* Whatever you say, Onee-san!

#15

"Well that's not entirely accurate," bean Aya, causing everyone to stare at him. "Ken was afraid to tell you, Omi, because of the way Yohji overreacted, but you're part nymph."

"Yes," said Artemis, "I mean, no. That's not right, Aya."

Moon: CUT!

Day: *glares* stick to the script, Aya. The script!

Aya: I am. *holds out his script*

Moon: *takes it*....Okay, so you did. Daystar, you forgot to change the scripts.

Day: Me? That's you're job, Onee-san!

Moon: Whatever. Let's try this again.

#16

Makoto screamed, writhing frantically to dislodge the red drake. He managed to fling Aya off of him, and began to cradle his right front paw.

You asshole! I broke a nail!

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Moon: You're an evil villian, and you're worried about breaking a nail? What the hell is wrong with you?

Day: Yeah, I mean...You're wings are torn up and you have gashes all over you...

Makoto: *rolls eyes* but it _hurts_ to break a nail! And I just had them done, too. *pouts*

Moon: Wimp...Let's try this again. And Aya? Try to be careful of the little baby.

#17

Aya turned and glared at her. "Kiva, Ken is a lot stronger than you think. And besides, how would...you...know..." Aya's eyes rolled up in his head, and the red drake pitched forward, collapsing in a heap.

Moon: STOP! Aya, get the hell up.

Aya: x_x

Yohji: I think he's dead...

Moon: What? DAYSTAR!!!

Day: *playing with Ken's hair* Hmmmm?

Moon: What did you do to Aya?

Day: Me? Nothing. *smirks*

Omi: It looks like he's been poisoned.

Moon: *eyes narrow* Someone give me a script! *reads script Omi gave her* Daystar, did you change the scripts again? In this, Aya never gets healed.

Day: *plays with Ken's hair some more.*

Moon: Daystar, why did you change the scripts?

Day: Payback's a bitch.

Weiss & Schwarz+Moon: What did she just say?

Moon: Payback? For what?

Day: For dropping Kenken off the building in part one!

Ken:*nods*

Moon: *to Ken* You were in on this?! And I thought you said no more revenge!

Day: This was Payback. Not revenge!

Moon: Whatever. Let's get a new Aya in here. Where's the catalogue

Part 5

#18

"Lemme think..." Aphrodite, considered it a moment, "I like, so totally know who you're, like, talking about. It's like, Mia and Saheal, ritgh? They were like, so totally-OW!! She hit me!"

Day: MOONSHADOW!!!!!!!!!!!! And I thought the boys were bad!

Moon: *twitching* Sorry...It's just...I couldn't help it.

Weiss & Schwarz: *groan*

Day: Let's try this again.

#19

The pod brought the humanoids up for air in one of the underground caverns. There they found Aya, using all of his weight to contain a squirming Ken.

"Umm, Aya," began Yohji, "I don't think this is the time for that."

Weiss-Yohji & Schwarz+Day&Moon: YOHJI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Fin~

Ken: Are we really done for real, this time?

Day: Isn't that a bit redundant, Darling?

Ken: Yeah, but who cares?

Day: Yes, we're done for real this time. We'll leave the poor readers alone.until the next fic.

Ken: *groan*