Hiiiii.

Yes, I'm still alive. Ok, so, there's a lot going on in my life at the moment and I'm having a really hard time bc I'm sad all the time. Also, softball and school take up most of day and I'm just so so tired and I'm ready to give up on everything but I have some really amazing friends that are helping me through it.

We're all fucked up in the head and helping each other and I'm starting to get happy again, like my old self. This story will be finished as soon as my life gets better and I'm not trying to drown myself all the time.

If anyone is having a hard time in their life, I'm always here, ok. Don't go through it alone, I had to for part of it and I got really fucked up and did some really bad things to myself. It's hard, I know.

I need to tell you guys why I'm sad bc I can't tell people I actually know, ok? Please don't say shit to me bc it really hurts. Ok, ready.

I hate everything about me. I hate how I look, act, sound, love, hate, think, everything. Everything I think about is negative and I just want to leave. Like, I know some people don't like themselves but I despise myself and everything about me. I just want to stop and I have really bad thoughts and, like I said, have done horrible things to myself.

I am getting better, I promise. Just don't give up on me or yourself, I'll be back. Give me a week or two and I'll try. Ok? I love you guys.

-Gillian