This is my first songfic, I hope it is up to par. This is solely based off of the fanfic by and Akiru Chan, What May Come. Full credit for the plot goes to them. And if you haven't read that fic yet, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, FUCKER. THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS. GO READ WHAT MAY COME. Yes, it's a WIP. But it's amazing and you should read it if you love Ciel and Sebastian. Go. Do it. s/6866405/1/What-May-Come
The lyrics used in this songfic are from the song Pieces by Red. It's an amazing and you should listen to it immediately.
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Here, in my house, it felt as if Sebastian was a thousand miles away. I longed for his touch, for his reassuring words, his calming presence. Of course, as I thought of Sebastian, I lost myself in thought. Why did Sebastian still want me when I was a broken mess? The Incident had scarred me for life; that much was undeniable. I tried and tried to keep all my panic attacks at bay, but I was defenseless against their hauntings.
During the Incident, I had lost my eye sight, my virginity, and my innocence. I was now a broken human, unable to go out in public without feeling the pull of memories. What I lost was unattainable to me now. Or so I thought, before Sebastian showed me that I could still love and trust another person.
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
When I finally get my eyesight back, I'll get to see Sebastian's face, eyes, body. Something that I had longed for since I started to like him, and when I do see him, he'll make me feel loved, and I'll know that I'm his. He helped me recover some of my strength; I could go into public and be around people I didn't know without having a panic attack.
I love when he calls my name. Every time he calls it, I feel the pressing need to go to him. Almost as if just being around him will make me whole again…maybe in time, Sebastian will be able to heal the wounds that had been inflicted on my mental health.
I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand,
I come undone every time I have a panic attack. I become vulnerable; my wounds open for all to see. But Sebastian doesn't turn away in disgust, or discomfort. He holds me in his arms, despite me lashing out at him in my fear driven haze. Then, he pulls me out of my stupor and tells me that he knows I'm stronger than that. That I'm not Faust, and then he would just hold me, saying nothing, doing nothing, he just held me for support.
At this point, I felt more like shattered glass than puzzle pieces. I was broken, shattered, not a game that was meant to be taken apart, only so you can put it together. Yes, shattered glass was a good analogy for what I had become. I was an impossible puzzle, one that would take far too long, one that most people would just sweep up and throw away. But Sebastian was diligently picking up even the smallest pieces of my being and putting them back together with care, but I worried about him; he wasn't wearing gloves. He was bound to get hurt picking up all this glass.
He disregarded himself and selflessly put me back together, his only wish was to heal me.
I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!
Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole
I tried every day, to interact with people, to avoid memories. Every day was a struggle. But with Sebastian there, it was much more enjoyable, and I found myself looking forward to each day. I fell asleep so I could wake up the next morning. I no longer slept so I could escape reality, only to have it replaced with terrifying nightmares. Now, instead of nightmares, wet dreams and images of what I thought Sebastian looked like stood in their place.
And…maybe…just maybe…I might be falling for him.
Please review, and if you liked this, please feel free to check out my other stories. And 's and Akiru Chan's as well. We are all very talented people.