The room had blurred into a light haze hours ago. She had no idea what time it was or how long she'd been lying there - not that knowing would have motivated her to move. There was a part of her that wished that she could just sink into the couch completely, that the floor would crack open under her and she could just fall into oblivion.

It terrified her that this part of her existed.

Her morbid thoughts of Grams and Hell and nothingness were interrupted by a knock at the door. It occurred to her in a fleeting thought jumbled into her gloom that it was Stefan's voice calling her name. Her fingers tightened around her blanket.

"Bonnie, I know you're in there. I can hear you breathing." No response. "Bonnie, please. It's important."

Sighing, and with far greater effort than she anticipated would be necessary, she pulled off the blanket and pushed herself off the couch, dragging her feet in tenuous steps toward her door. She spotted Stefan with one hand in his pocket and the other leaning against the door frame, poised as self-assured as always, and stopped to brace herself so that she wouldn't break down in front of him. Her resolve faltered as soon as she opened the door. Stefan opened his mouth to tell her what was going on, pausing when he saw an expression of numb despair on Bonnie's face. "Hey," his hands dropped to his sides. "Are you alright?" Concern washed over his face as he moved to approach her, only to find that he couldn't enter. It was Sheila's house he'd been invited into, not Bonnie's. "Can I come in, please?" he asked gently.

Bonnie gave the slightest nod, but it was enough. Her face morphed as tears overtook her, and Stefan pulled her into his arms.

Several minutes later, she had composed herself and pulled away, giving him a weak smile before averting her gaze. She turned to the living room, Stefan following close behind. She reclaimed her spot on the couch as Stefan sat on the arm of the chair opposite from her, listening intently while she told him all that had occurred with her Grams and the witches.

"My Grams, it was like she was dying all over again. Just because I didn't listen to her about not doing black magic."

"Bonnie, you're dealing with the other side. It's not reliable. The witches were probably just messing with your head, trying to teach you a lesson."

"Well, it worked. I tried to do a basic nature spell this morning just to clear my head and...it just brought it all back. Like it was happening all over again." Stefan frowned slightly. "Sorry, I'm a mess. I've been holed up in here, avoiding everyone. I've completely," she added with a forced chuckle, "blown off Jamie." She halted to keep herself together, taking a sharp breath to compose herself. "You came here...'cause you needed something, right?"

Stefan shook his head as he stood up. "Yeah, but it can wait."

"No, come on, Stefan, I'm okay. Come on, you're not exactly a drop-by kind of guy. Just...if something's wrong, tell me." She looked at him imploringly. Somehow, she felt like she needed to help. For so long, even since before she became a witch, helping seemed to be her whole purpose, and she didn't know what she'd do with herself if she no longer had that role.

"Bonnie, right now, this is what's wrong. God..." Stefan turned, running his hands through his hair in frustration before turning back to her. He stared at Bonnie searchingly for a few moments.

"What, Stefan?"

He sighed before taking a seat next to her on the couch, looking at her head-on as he spoke. "When I first came back to Mystic Falls...When Elena and I got together and you and I got to know each other...I began to consider you as my friend. I admired you...the way you put others first, the selflessness you'd display, even in - in the simplest of interactions. And then you found out you were a witch, and I'd never seen such potential in a witch so new to the craft. You always had some level of doubt in yourself, but one thing you unflinchingly never doubted was how ready you were to protect the ones you care about.

"I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the line, it became second nature. You had learned more than other witches in your position would have in such a short time, and we started to take it for granted. It was wrong and it was unfair. You deserve better than that. And then...with Abby..." Stefan felt Bonnie tense next to him.

"With Abby...Bonnie, there is absolutely nothing that I can fathom that justifies what we did. Just because my brother and I both happen to love Elena doesn't mean the lives of others are worth any less, and you and Abby are certainly no exception. I was blinded by this obsession. And Damon was...well, Damon. I don't know how I can make this better. I want to - so, so much - but I don't know..." His words failed him and Bonnie saw his desolation all over his face. He looked down at his hands in silence.

Bonnie took a breath. "You know, until last year's decade dance when Klaus first showed up, I thought I could never expect any better from Damon. But then he helped me, when he didn't have to. He trusted me to do what I thought was right rather than choosing for me. And somewhere along the way, I thought maybe, eventually, I could trust him, as just a little more than just an ally. You...you were my friend right from the beginning." Stefan smiled at her. "And then Damon snapped Abby's neck." Stefan's smile faded. "And you helped him. Stefan, I...I could still understand that I was wrong to think Damon could ever change or that he'd ever care for anyone besides himself, you, and Elena. But you..." Bonnie's voice shook. "Stefan, you were my friend. How could you do that to me? What if Abby wasn't there? Would you have killed me? Would you have let Damon do it? Is it that...that easy to dismiss me as just some...some tool or - or some weapon you can just use and toss? Do I mean that little?" The tears were in full force now, and even Stefan's eyes were misty. "Was I that wrong about you, Stefan?" She looked at him questioningly before standing up and putting a few feet between them, wiping furiously at her face. Silence took them both over again.

Stefan turned his face to her. "You have never been wrong, Bonnie. You trusted me when I gave you a reason to. I lost the right to your trust when I lost myself." He stood. "But I could never dream of physically harming you. I'm going to be better now. I swear." He took a step toward her. "I'm in love with Elena. That's never going to change. But that doesn't mean that I can forget about everyone else, or that I can think of everyone else only in terms of what they mean to her. I've done a lot of things I regret in my lifetime, but two of the worst ones were within the past few months. One was not pulling her out of the water along with Matt. The other was hurting you and taking you for granted. With Elena and Matt, there was only so much I could do, and I can make up for that by helping her now. But with you, there was so much more I could have done. And now," Stefan placed his hands on her shoulders. Bonnie crossed her arms defensively. "Now, I'll wait as long as necessary, do whatever I have to, to get my friend Bonnie back. Because believe it or not, even though I've done a phenomenally horrible job of showing it, I love you, too." Bonnie's lip trembled. "So I don't want your trust or your respect until I've absolutely, undoubtedly earned it." Stefan wrapped his arms around her shoulders, her arms still crossed, and squeezed one last time. "You should get some rest." He pulled away and offered a smile before turning to leave. He closed the door behind him, the bullets in his pocket momentarily forgotten as he thought of the girl behind him inside.

Bonnie stood alone in her living room, eyeing the couch as she contemplated resuming her earlier prone position under the blanket. After some deliberation, she approached the couch, folded the quilt, and straightened the pillows. Settling down at her kitchen table minutes later looking out the window, she sipped her coffee as she thought of the boy who just left.