Title: i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

Summary: Steve and Kono struggle to find their way back to normal, and discover something even better than before.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: This is set after 2x05 aka Kono's undercover arc and the aftermath of it that the show handled horribly wrong. Re-posting here because updates were discontinued last year, I apologize. I know it's late and we're already in s3 now, but I thought maybe some Steve/Kono fans would still be interested in reading the story.

Title is based on the lyrics of "Scratch" from Kendall Payne. I was inspired by the Steve/Kono YouTube video of the song, so thank you to whoever created it. Many thanks to badhairdays for her help because I never would have started (or finished!) this monster of a piece without her. There will be a total of ten parts and comments are most welcome, please and thank you.

Kono's half asleep as the team celebrates her return at 5-0 headquarters. All she wants is to go home, and she can't even drink because of the pain medication they gave her for the bullet graze, but Danny insisted they reunite for a drink. She nods at the appropriate times while listening to Danny's stories. He's talking more than usual tonight, as if trying to make up for lost time and make her feel better by filling her in on Grace and her new school year, and any of Steve's Rambo-like incidents Kono's missed over the past few months. She can feel Steve staring at her intently from across the table but he doesn't say a word, so neither does she. Chin is at her side, quiet and solemn, drink in hand, and she sees the new girl giving her curious glances from the corner of her eye. Kono really should say hi. You know, now that she's not in cuffs.

But not right now. Her arm hurts, she's tired to the bone, and all she wants is to get some sleep. It feels like she hasn't gotten a proper night's rest since the booking in HPD months ago. The summer has been a hectic one, to say the least.

When Chin notices her nodding off, he puts his arm around her shoulder to guide her to the door, and tells the guys he's taking her home. The room falls silent, even Danny stops chattering, as they watch her leave. Kono ignores the eyes on her and focuses on Chin's comforting presence at her side. She waves goodbye sleepily in the team's direction and is asleep by the time Chin pulls into her driveway.

She wakes up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, sheets twisted around her. The fear of the undercover operation hits her, the panic so volatile that she can barely breathe for a minute and it seems like her chest is caving in. Almost like her arm wound knows, it starts to itch under the bandage and Kono resists scratching at it. She takes deep breaths to remind herself it's over. There will be no phone calls from dirty ex-cops who need her help in shady underground dealings, there will be no car chases with gunfire blazing, there will be no getting dragged away in handcuffs as her old teammates watch.

She barely sleeps another hour before a nightmare has her awake and nearly hysterical. This time, Danny and Steve watch as Chin cuffs her and throws her into interrogation where Delano's waiting, accusation and anger bright in his eyes. Kono screams and yells that this is a big misunderstanding, that she can explain, to get Fryer, but they slam the door without a dash of remorse or recognition. She turns to face Delano and that's when she wakes up to realize she's screaming out loud in the silence of her bedroom.

She doesn't bother trying to go back to sleep. Instead, she rides her bike to the beach to sit and stare at the ocean.

Fryer has her come into HPD a week later to give her statements. There's a lot of them - what happened in the car during the chase, what happened in the motel room with Joyner's wife, what happened at the bank, and formal paperwork on re-joining 5-0. She's required to have physical therapy a few weeks for her arm, and psych appointments for a couple more weeks after that. She gives her testimony and answers all the questions he asks, making sure to keep any hint of emotion out of her voice. She never trusted this man from the start, and she knows it was a miracle that she managed to get out of the assignment with just a graze. But get out she did, no thanks to him. Now she wants to walk away from it and get back to her real job.

"Hey, Kono," Fryer calls to her as she grabs her bag to leave his office. She turns back. He pauses, as if debating with himself whether to say anything. Finally, he does. "Good work out there. Thanks."

"Yeah. Sure."

She doesn't thank him for anything in return.

"Hey, guys."

Kono gets up early, worries too much about her outfit, and walks through 5-0 headquarters, hoping the place would be deserted. A quiet entrance is what she's hoping for, to catch Steve alone before the rest of the team gets in. No extra attention would be needed. Everything back to normal without any fuss. Instead, she finds the team already there, crowded around the plasma screens, deep in conversation. They turn in surprise at the sound of her voice.

"Um... I'm here. For work," she adds needlessly, trying to maintain her confidence as the boys (And that new girl, what's her name again? Laura? Lauren?) stare. Their faces are ones she knows so well after a year of working side by side, spending too much time holed up inside these four walls, but now she fights the instinct to turn and run as they stare at her.

Danny's the first to break the spell. Good old Danny. Can always count on him.

"Kono! Good to have you back. Your office should all be in one piece." He points toward the general direction of it. "Unless Steve's started storing his weapons arsenal in there or something. Or the grenades he likes to keep handy. You know about that incident from last year, right?"

Kono forces herself to relax, and to smile like she means it. Just Danny sharing another story of how Steve almost got him killed. Same old Monday morning routine. "Yeah, you shared that one already. You need new material."

"Oh, no, no, I don't. I do not. The stories I have of how I've almost died on the job thanks to GI Joe here are enough for me, thank you very much."

"Good to see you, cuz," Chin says warmly with a smile, and this time, Kono smiles back with ease. Sometimes she finds herself staggered by his loyalty and the love he showers upon her, especially when their own family turned him away. His eyes are always kind, his tone always gentle, and she finally feels more comfortable being in the room, it finally feels familiar to her after her time away.

She takes a breath and turns to look at Steve, whose eyes are locked on her. "Uh, can I talk to you, please, Boss?" she adds, her word for him stumbling out of her instead of the ease with which she used it during the past year.

Steve gestures to his office. "Yeah, of course, sure," and heads for his office.

Danny gives her a reassuring nod and, this time, Kono genuinely smiles back before she follows Steve.

It's silent in the room as they wait for the other to talk first. He's leaning back against his desk staring at her, his eyes focused on her face, flickering to the bandage on her upper arm. The brow of his forehead is wrinkled as if he's in deep thought, or concern, or guilt. She can't be sure. To Kono, it feels like it's been ages since she saw him last, like he's a stranger now, someone she used to know, and she can't be quite sure of what his face is saying, even if at one point in time, she often knew what he was going to say before he spoke. She recognizes the look though - from when they'd be working on a particularly complex case, one where the facts aren't what they want them to be, and they won't transform, no matter how long Steve stares at them, willing them to bend his way. But she's not a puzzle to be deciphered, and the time for figuring things out is over now. The pieces have fallen and she'll put herself back together.

She finds herself fidgeting with the strap of her bag in the doorway and forces herself to relax. The tension in the room feels so thick, like it could be physical, as if there is actually a giant crater gaping the distance between her and Steve, between her and returning to normal with him. But when she blinks, there's nothing there. No crater, no wall, no gaping hole between them, just Steve standing there staring at her, waiting for her to say something, while she waits for him to speak first.

Deep breath, Kono. Just like old times, she tells herself. She takes a few steps further into the room to stand in front of him.

"Uh, I have some paperwork from IA for you to look over. To re-instate me."

"Okay," Steve says, taking the folder she holds out.

"Fryer wants that by the end of the week, if you can," she adds.

"Sure."

Another pause. Kono continues with what she has to say.

"I can't be in the field for three weeks cause of the arm," she shrugs her right shoulder unconsciously and then winces. "I may have to leave on Thursdays for physical therapy."

Steve nods, his dark eyes tracing over her face as though he can see the circles she's hiding with a pound of concealer.

"And..." Come on, Kono, just get it all out and be done with it. "I have... I have to meet with the department shrink on Tuesday mornings so I may be late those days," she says quickly as if maybe he won't understand the words if she gets them out fast enough.

But that would be too easy. And there's nothing easy about this.

Steve continues to stare at her, then nods again. "Okay."

"That's it," she finishes. She feels restless all of a sudden, as if the air in the room and Steve's stare are suffocating her. Her arm starts to itch and she struggles not to scratch under the bandage in front of him. She's said all she needed to. She doesn't know how to make her exit now.

"Uh... How's the new girl?" she asks, trying to fill the void of silence even with small talk.

"She's a good profiler. And learned all the tech stuff pretty fast from Chin," Steve comments.

"That's good. Cause Danny'll never get the hang of it," she says, and they share a quick smile over Danny's technological ineptitude.

And, great, there's the awkward silence again. Kono shifts from one foot to the other, wondering how best to escape the room.

"That's good you had another set of hands," she says lamely, trying to ignore the sting of jealousy at the new addition settling in, getting familiar with the tech toys, and spending time with the guys, her guys. It's hardly the woman's fault for being assigned to 5-0, Kono knows that.

"Well, she's no you," Steve proclaims.

They stare at each other for a second, his eyes so intense with emotion that Kono reminds herself to breathe. She lets out a sigh and goes for the deflecting with a joke routine. That always works well. "Aw, thanks, Boss. Well, Fryer was no you, either," she says, her voice light.

Instead of laughing or rolling her eyes like she expected, Steve continues to stare at her, and straightens from his desk. He looks like he's about to say something, but the last thing Kono wants is to talk about it. The last thing she needs is to go over it all again, especially with Steve.

"I wasn't- I meant- he was..." She stops trying to explain the joke and takes a breath. "Um, well, I'll help with the research and let you know when I'm cleared for fieldwork," she says quickly and makes her way out of the office.

"Kono, wait." Steve calls, a few steps behind her, but she's already out the door and in the main control room. Chin, Danny, and the new girl all turn to look at her. She can feel Steve's presence behind her but she ignores it and walks straight to the new addition on the team.

"Hi, I'm Kono," she says, hand out, smile on her face. Might as well make a new friend.

The blonde woman stares at her for a second; probably to adjust the image she has from their first meeting when she had to pull a weapon on her after a high speed car chase then cuff her when she was found with a dead body in the car. She shakes Kono's hand and smiles in return. "Lori. Nice to finally meet you, Kono."

"You, too. Welcome to the team," Kono says with a smile, taking a seat next to Lori and facing the screen. "What are you guys working on?"