Hello, my readers! The plot bunny has been chewing my leg off, so I had to do it!

Due to the nature of the lyrics in the Epic Rap Battles of History this story is rated T for a reason. It's nothing too bad, though. I don't own jack. This starts off in Jack's POV and goes from there.

Enjoy!

"You know what'll be really cool?" Miko asked me while we sat at the couch working on homework. Bumblebee, Arcee, Smokescreen and Bulkhead were all out on patrol, leaving us here at the base. Raf looked up from his laptop and looked at Miko. She seemed really excited about something, but I couldn't tell what and neither could Raf. She's been exited all day, really.

"What?" I responded.

"If the Bots had an Epic Rap Battle of History."

D-did I hear her right? "A what?"

"You heard me."

I looked at her like she had just lost her mind. "Why would the bots want to do that?"

"Because it's really cool!"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Where did you even get this idea?" Her jaw dropped. What did I say?

"You've never heard of Epic Rap Battles of History?!" She looked absolutely horrified at the thought of me not knowing about whatever the heck she was talking about.

"No, I haven't."

She jumped up from the couch, gesturing dramatically. "DUDE! What rock have you been living under?! Everybody at school is talking about it! Even Raf knows about them!"

"She's right. I-I'm surprised you haven't heard of them." Raf adjusted his glasses and smiled innocently at me.

"What, is it on Youtube?" I asked.

"Yeah. Here I'll show you a few." I shrugged and walked over to Raf to look at a few of the videos he was talking about. Hopefully it's something worth looking at.

…

"I don't care what anyone says, Abraham Lincoln won that." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I have to admit, those videos are awesome! Miko's right, it would be pretty cool to see the bots in an Epic Rap Battle.

"See? It would be so cool with there was a rap battle between Ratchet and Optimus" Miko said. Raf nodded, agreeing with her.

I raised an eyebrow. "Would Optimus even participate in something like that?" Miko stopped for a minute.

"Who knows? No harm in asking. Is he even here?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in thought. "I think he is."

"What about Ratchet?" Raf asked from in front of his laptop. Miko gave him an incredulous look.

"Ratchet's always here, but he's not in this room. I'm gonna go find him." My eyes widened. Was she seriously thinking about having Optimus and Ratchet do a rap battle?! Before I could stop her, she ran off down the hall to go find Ratchet. I stared after, not even bothering to go after her. When Miko puts her mind to something, nothing could really stop her. She's gonna find a way to do this. I sat down on the couch again, listening to Raf type on his laptop.

This is going to be interesting.

…Ratchet's POV: Ten Minutes Later, Elsewhere in the Silo…

I sat in my berthroom cleaning my frame welder. Why is it that it's always my belongings that are mangled? It's always my tools! I just might take Miko's advice and get some bubble wrap. Suddenly I heard a loud knock on my door. Muttering under my breath I put the cleaning rag and my frame welder down on my berth and opened the door. This had better be good-

"RATCHET! Come to the control room! Quick!" Miko said, urgency heavily lacing her voice. I looked down at the little human just in time to see her run down the hall towards the main control room. I had never seen her so intent upon getting me to do anything. After hesitating for a moment, I followed her down the hall.

Hopefully, it wasn't a prank. I let Miko use one of my wrenches as a skateboard ramp a few days ago. Those cat ears she and Bumblebee put on me were next to impossible to remove from the CPU connections. I grimaced slightly, trying to shake off the thought. I'd rather not have to go through that again.

"What is it that I'm needed for?" I asked as I stepped into the bright light of the main control room. I looked around to see Optimus and the rest of the children looking at me.

"Miko appears to have something important to say to us." Optimus observed, shifting slightly on his pedes. I arched an optic ridge. Whatever she has to say, it had better be pretty slagging good.

"Would you, Optimus Prime, have an epic rap battle with Ratchet?" The little human's eyes glittered as she looked back and forth between our leader and myself. I exchanged a glance with Optmus and looked back down at Miko, who was bouncing on her feet in excitement.

"Why would I do that?" Optimus questioned curiously.

"And why would I participate in such a ridiculous human activity?" I crossed my arms over my chassis.

"I hope you don't think you might lose," Jack stated, standing from the children's couch and walking down the stairs. He had a faint smirk on his face, as if he was expecting me to lose. I scoffed.

"I never said I would lose."

"So, do you believe you would win against me?" Optimus looked at me, a certain light that I had only seen in Orion Pax shone in our leader's optics. I smiled. Heh, I'll that look as a challenge.

"I know I'll win."

I watched Optimus as he cracked a miniscule, devious smile. Miko jumped up and down in happiness.

"Alright! We'll get started in a few moments." I smirked. That will grant me enough time to think of how to win this battle.

…Bumblebee's POV…

The four of us were just pulling into the silo after a rather long and boring patrol. I managed to reach the border of California, somehow. I think I went to sleep on the highway. I think I'm just going to go into my berthroom and take a nice long nap- What in the world?

I transformed back to bi-pedal mode and stared at the scene in front of me. There was a loud, but not too loud, beat going and Optimus was facing Ratchet. The children were cheering near their pedes.

"…What am I looking at?" Arcee muttered in disbelief from next to me. Bulkhead and Smokescreen stared, completely speechless.

"Are they seriously having a rap battle?" Smokescreen whispered, having a bit of trouble believing what he was seeing, like the rest of us. Ratchet was going at it right now, smiling, holding his heavy throwing wrench in his servo threateningly. Optimus was standing still with his battle mask covering his face as Ratch verbally attacked him.

"The prophecy. Forgot to mention this day,

When I knocked your ass back to Orion Pax,

Check your status, they call me Doctor, you're nothing!

Nice guns. You compensating for something?"

We all looked back at Optimus, waiting for his response. They had to have noticed us standing here, but they seem pretty intent upon winning this battle. He raised his servo like he was going to backhand Ratchet as he took advantage of his baritone voice.

"I would smack you, but in Iacon, we don't hit little femmes.

My name is Optimus, mother fucker.

Maybe you've heard of me.

I'm committing verbal murder in the major third degree

You wanna trade blows? HA! You can't even hit a heat cycle."

The kids were whistling and cheering as Boss Bot gained a triumphant look in his optics. Miko jumped between them, yelling in a dramatic tone.

"Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic Rap Battles of CYBERTROOON!"

"Wow, Boss Bot. Just… wow." Bulkhead muttered. Someone had turned off the beat that was going for the rap battle.

"So, who do you think won?" Ratchet smirked. Arcee spoke up before we could even vote, arching an optic ridge and putting a servo on her hip.

"What made you two do this?"

Miko shrugged as Jack and Rafael pointed at the Japanese girl. I shook my head, venting. Of course it was Miko. She is known for doing some crazy things, but she's good at persuading people do stuff. That prank I did on Ratchet with Miko supports that. I'll never regret it, though.

"I don't know about you guys, but Optimus totally won that." Smokescreen said. We all looked at him for a second and started casting our own votes. The room was divided equally. Jack, Raf and Arcee were on Ratchet's side, while Smokescreen, Bulkhead and I were on Optimus's side. Miko didn't vote, I guess because she's kinda the referee. No one could really decide who won that battle.

"Hey, you guys!" Everyone looked at Miko, who was smiling from ear to ear.

"The vote was invalid! The rest of the bots came half way through the battle! And you know what that means…"

Optimus looked at Ratchet and gave a very small, sly smile. Ive never seen that look from him, but I'd know it anywhere. Optimus was not going to back down anytime soon. And neither was Optimus. They both seemed to really like that little rap battle. To be quite honest, I have never heard Optimus swear before. It sounded almost natural to him, it's kinda weird. Ratchet had his usual angry demeanor, but his voice sounded rougher and slightly more intimidating. All of us stood there, anticipating their responses. We kinda had an idea what they wanted to do, but can never be too sure.

Ratchet gave him a confident grin. "One more round, Optimus?" Boss Bot's optics shone brighter.

"One more round."

So how was that? I just love the Epic Rap Battles of History and always thought it would be cool if the Transformers had their own. Ratchet's lyrics are based on Dumbledore's in the Gandalf vs. Dumbledore rap battle and Optimus's are based on Beethoven's lyrics in the Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig Van Beethoven.

Raf showed Jack the Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris rap battle, in case you were wondering why he was talking about Abraham Lincoln.

I'm considering continuing this... Should I?

Anyway, WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF CYBERTRON!