Oh em gee final chapter. Can't believe I made it this far, couldn't have done this without my reviewers/Beta/actual writing skills.

Hopefully, my intentions with this have been read, understood and taken into consideration. I don't mean to insult people personally, because if you're taking personal offense to this, you're doing it wrong. This is a parody. Get with that. Now please, improve the quality of this archive. I will continue to be around, reviewing, so get used to that.

Warnings: character death. Be warned. Sum of dis chptr is xtremly skari. Viower excretion advizd.

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Cronus was feeling rather odd. He felt… mortal. He couldn't explain it, because he had never been a mortal before, but for some unexplainable reason he knew that he had become a mortal. It was all a bit too convenient.

"Master Cronus!" called a sing-song voice. "I have returned!"

Mary-Sue skipped into his hidden lair, having presumably skipped there all the way from New Olympia. "Our plan went exactly according to plan!"

"I find that very hard to believe." Cronus muttered.

"Oh." Mary-Sue smiled apologetically, her smile being so powerful that it even worked on Cronus. "You're now a mortal. Sorry about that."

"That's quite alright," Cronus sighed, enthralled by Mary-Sue's perfect smile. "But where are the pesky mortals?"

On cue, the pesky mortals ran in, almost comically in formation. Jay always insisted on making an appearance like that. It made them look cool, apparently. No one had bothered to tell Jay that it only made the gang look tacky.

"We've come to stop you!" Jay shouted, ever the obvious.

Cronus laughed evilly. He did that a lot. Mary-Sue joined in, but her laugh was also sexy because everything she did was sexy.

"Kill them!" Cronus ordered, laughing evilly, because it was the only way he knew how to laugh.

Mary-Sue looked at Cronus, and then at Jay. Their eyes met lovingly. Jay seemed to be pleading with her silently. The gang nearly gagged, but avoided throwing up.

"No." Mary-Sue whispered, now bored with being evil/her love for Jay making her good again. "I will not kill my beloved!"

Cronus sighed exasperatedly. "Will you kill one of the others, then? Any one of them will do."

She shook her head sadly. "No. I am good now."

The god pinched his nose, scowling. By this point, the author was doing the same thing. Cronus gathered himself together, and ordered his giants into battle, who had somehow magically appeared. The gang and Mary-Sue fought back eagerly, in a series of poorly written sequences of fights and punching, along with a few bad war cries.

Inexplicably, Mary-Sue ended up fighting Cronus, because she was the best fighter and a few more unneeded reasons. She held her own against him, managing to inflict a few non-fatal wounds on him. Despite being an excellent fighter, she couldn't possibly beat Cronus on her own. Not unless it was a much more epic moment than this. Bored of the god, she swapped to fighting the giants. Jay then had his shot at the god.

"I will kill you!" Cronus screamed manically. Jay was somehow unable to move, and was rooted to the spot. Cronus flung his scythe at the boy, still laughing manically.

"NO! I will save you, my beloved!"

Mary-Sue jumped sexily in front of Jay. Her impossibly dark blue eyes went wide on shock. But, being as perfect as she was, she quickly regained her composure. Despite having a scythe up to its hilt in her side, and possessing magical healing powers, she continued fighting.

Since she was so amazing and such a great fighter, Mary-Sue continued fending off the giants and Cronus for quite some time. Since this was all about Mary-Sue, Cronus was a bumbling idiot with a god complex and a serious case of evil-laughing.

Mary-Sue took no notice, and continued fighting bravely. But then, she was hit by another one of Cronus' scythes! She would have healed herself, but she saw Jay approaching, and took this as an opportunity for an angst-filled death scene. Besides, she would probably just come back to life later, anyway.

"Mary-Sue," Jay cried, running over to her. "You're injured!"

"I will be fine." she managed, looking deep into his eyes.

"You are hurt, we have to get you to Chiron!" his voice was desperate now.

"Jay, I think I'm dying…" She whispered, tears falling down her cheeks from her impossibly deep blue eyes, which had become kaleidoscopes due to her tears, and were now a deep, emeraldy-forest-olive green.

By this point, Cronus was also feeling rather disgusted. He was also feeling rather light-headed because a good portion of his blood was on the ground. The giants had gotten sick of the angst and wandered off back to their hidden lair for pizzas and Friends re-runs.

"Mary-Sue," Jay said, crying. "I love you, you cannot leave me! I need you, Mary-Sue!"

"This is getting ridiculous," Cronus said, using a stick to keep himself standing. The rest of the gang was standing beside him, looking on with just as much, if not even more, disgust.

"I wish I was with the giants; they doesn't have to watch this." Atlanta said. The gang nodded in agreement.

"Mary-Sue!" Jay shouted as her body went limp.

"Finally," Herry said. "Can we please go now?"

"Fine, but I will always remember her as my one true love, the light of my life, my soul mate, the only hope in this dark and endless world…" Jay would have gone on, had Archie not kicked him.

"Wait…" faintly came Mary-Sue's sing-song voice. "I'm not quite dead yet…"

"Yes you are," Cronus yelled. "Now shut up!"

"I'm feeling much better…"

"Shut up!" Cronus yelled again.

"It's only a flesh wound." Mary-Sue said quietly.

Cronus slowly walked over to her, red eyes narrowed. Without pausing, he decapitated Mary-Sue.

"Quit ripping off Monty Python, bitch."

And only then Cronus found that he could die in peace with a clear conscience.