FOR THE LOVE OF PASTA, READ THE DAMN WARNING!
IT IS THERE FOR A REASON…..

Warning: Some of these stories(not all) in the coming chapters will contain Yaoi, some of which may be hardcore. Yaoi is boy x boy love, man meat on man meat, all wieners-no buns. If you are not into that, do not read or complain. You have been fairly warned.

This story and Axis Powers Hetalia depicts people and persons as the direct personification of that nation/country, so if this concept bothers you, this might not be the right story for you, especially if you are unable to mentally grasp that these nations are centuries years old despite their outward appearance.

All people, persons, nations, and whatever represented in these stories are of legal age. No minors of any kind are depicted in these stories by the author, personal perception(s) of the reader(s) aside.

It boils down to this-
IF YOU DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. IT'S THAT FREAKING SIMPLE!

"FACEPALM"…FOR THE LOVE OF DOITSU AND BEER…..

I have nothing against any characters/states/nations of Hetalia. I understand that everyone has their favorite characters/pairing. I know I do. If you don't like how a character(s) is portrayed, please don't be a hater about it. If you think the writing is shit(I don't know what you expect-it already states I'm a hack on my profile), then write your own damn story about the nations. It is a lot easier to critic that create. Please keep that in mind. And once again-

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ! NOT A HARD CONCEPT!
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The Grimm Brothers Beilschmidt1
…..and company.

Somewhere deep among the emerald forests within the haunted hearts of the British Isles, four men walked down a dirt road marked by deep grooves from many a passing wagon. They walked in pairs mostly because half of the quartet could not stand the other's company at the moment.

One half of the forefront couple was composed of an albino, all snowy white skin and silver sparkling hair. He was dressed in a blue(dare I even say Prussian blue…) frock with a billowing cape and black tricorn hat set on his head at a jaunty angle. It was marked by a small yellow bird that flew circles round his head like a demented halo making him look somewhat crazed. The near permanent canine marked smirk didn't help matters in this perception either.

His companion and conversation combatant was a tall lanky blonde with a peculiar strand of hair that seemly defied gravity. His sky blue eyes were partially hidden behind a pair of silver spectacles, giving him a much wiser appearance than he actually deserved. He had a constant wide pearly grin, and talked almost as much as his neighbor on the road. The blonde wore a military style royal blue jacket with crimson lapels. He claimed it made him look heroic.

The albino and the hero were currently arguing who was the more awesome between them.

The disgruntled pair trailing behind them were two blondes. The taller of the two was build strong and wide, his defined muscles barely contained in his neat green jacket, practical heavy black clothing worn underneath. His Aryan visage was marked by platinum blonde hair neatly gelled back, and hard ice blue eyes. He was currently wearing a frown.

The last member of this intrepid party was obviously the awesome blondes twin though he was separated from him with many subtle differences, silence being the most obvious of them. He carried a small polar bear cub who had the unique curse upon him of no one being able to remember his name correctly =. He had been a recent acquirement from one of the group's…cases. The bespectacled blonde had amethyst eyes instead of blue and a long floating curl on his forehead, his silkier hair shoulder length. He wore a comfortable looking tan trench coat as well as a frown.

"You know what would have been 'awesome'? If you two Blvdes Arschloch
hadn't lost the horses gambling!", Ludwig yelled, finally fed up with the whole inane topic of conversation.

"West, don't get your lace panties in a twist. Aren't you the one always saying we should train more?", Gilbert shrugged, the older of the two not sweating the small details.

"Yeah and I'm sure these guys were cheating?", Alfred piped up to add his two cents, striking a heroic pose while he was at it for no reason at all really. His twin sighed, dragging a tired hand down his face. It was hard to believe he was actually related to this delusional idiot sometimes.

"Of course, they were cheating! They were hustlers. That's what they do! You guys never stood a chance!", Matthew lamented, squeezing his polar bear close.

"Who are you?", Kumajirou asked, who was a touch vindictive about his curse. He was ignored by the blonde who was a bit touchy about that issue himself. His obnoxious sibling's antics tended to make others overlook him, sometimes to the point of invisibility.

"Then you should have let us bring them into the proper authorities.", Alfred retorted, feeling particularly full of justice at the moment.

"Ja, ja. What a wonderful idea. We could have if you idiots hadn't gotten us thrown out of the bar and banned from the town!", Ludwig yelled, waves of purple coming from his being.

"Screw them for not appreciating my awesomeness.", Gilbert smirked, waving the statement off to leave his brother face palming, swearing in rapid German.

"You really should stop doing that. It's going to leave a mark West.", Gilbert observed casually poking at his younger sibling's reddening forehead.

"Ludwig is right! It doesn't look good for us to be walking into towns. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence.", Matthew sighed, "especially carrying so much gear."

"Why not?! It just makes us, me in particular, more awesome!", Alfred countered, shifting his bulky towering pack to flex his muscles.

"But hardly professional.", Ludwig sighed, wondering how he drew this lot in life. He had always tried to be a good person and felt he truly didn't deserve this.

The intrepid four were hunters of a special sort for they were…

THE GRIMM BROTHERS BEILSCHMIDT!

….. And company.

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Originally started up by Ludwig and his older brother Gilbert, the Germans(well one German and one self proclaimed Prussian) had been joined later on by the North America twins, Alfred F. Jones and Matthew Williams, to hunt the weird, the unusual, and sometimes the absolutely absurd. Their mission was to right wrongs, save damsels in distress, and make a profit while doing it all.

Ludwig was the leader despite constant debating from a select few(Alfred and Gilbert in turns). Matthew was their chronicler slash healer. While everyone could fight and defend themselves, both Alfred and Gilbert were the strike fighters of the team pairing brute force with vicious speed and killer instincts.

In addition, each had their own particular gifts. The twins had abnormal strength hence the extraordinary amounts in their enormous packs on their backs, seemingly unhindered by their cumbersome burdens.

Ludwig had a perfect photographic memory, filling it with instructional manuals of any and all types. Matthew had his invisibility and Alfred his ability to find food anywhere. Gilbert claimed being awesome was his, but it actually was the unique if not basically useless talent of understanding and communicating with cute animals, mostly of the baby chick kind.

The North American twins had met the German brothers in a bar(naturally). Alfred F. Jones(no one knew what the 'F' stood for, Alfred included having only added it to sound more heroic. He changed it to something different every time someone asked-That's right ladies. The F stands for fearless) was American while Matthew Williams was Canadian(and proud aboot it) due to a split family. They could not stand being apart so they had run away together all the way to Europe in search of their fortune. There in a small rural town in bumfuck nowhere Austria, they had run into a dragon who had intended on making a snack bar out of said town. It was being repelled(and just barely) by the brothers Beilschmidt. The twins easily punted the dragon around a bit for fun to send it whimpering home with its scaly tail tucked firmly between its legs. They had been recruited immediately by the Germans. Ludwig had an eye for talent. Gilbert just had an eye on the Canadian(especially for his vital regions which the Prussian swore solemnly he would claim as his own).

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"Mein Gott! Quit your bitching! We got fresh air, a beautiful day, a creepy sign post with cryptic wording…Jeez, what more do you want?", Gilbert snapped, studying said sign post in front of him intently. It leaned to the side with extreme foreboding telling all to "Take heed and go no further. Something wicked this way lies."

"Huh….No shit….yup, that is one hell of a creepy sign.", Alfred mused, poking it. The sign gave up the ghost dying a termite riddled death. Alfred guiltily kicked some dirt over it. Ludwig and Matthew were too involved at the moment though to reprimand, their noses pressed deep in some handy books.

"My research says there is a sort of anomaly in this area that might be worth checking out. It is just a vague reference to a castle covered in your atypical vine spell…..", Matthew told them, half lost in thought.

"Fucking hell, I hate those damn things. Moving sentient or docile?", Gilbert groaned. It taken him weeks to get all the thorns out of his cape, not to mention all the sharp pointy bits. In his opinion, shrubbery shouldn't move.

"Hmmmm, doesn't say…..There is also an ancient legend that goes with it.", Matthew finished, flipping through his references.

"There always is. Sounds great! Let's go!", Alfred said excitedly only to be jerked back at his collar by his twin.

"I'm not done yet hoser.", Matthew said patiently, used to his brother's impulsiveness, "Once upon a time…"

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"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess?"

"What's with the question mark Mattie?"

"It gets a little vague around this part. No one seems to be sure about the gender it seems."

"Ok, so whatever. Some royal dude."

"Oh Maple…..some…."

"Say it."

'sigh' "Royal dude. Happy?"

"Quite. Continue.", Alfred grinned.

"Ahem, was born to a king and queen, and the whole kingdom rejoiced. In celebration, a grand party was thrown and all the fairies of the land were invited…."

"I call bullshit."

"…"

Alfred grinned back in answer.

"Aboot what?"

"Duh, on the fairies."

"What the hell?! What do you mean you call bullshit!?"

"Dude, fairies aren't real, hence I call total bullshit."

"….Al…."

"What?"

"You do realize that's what our jobs is, right? We fight fairy tales. Emphasis on the word 'fairy' here."

"And half the time it is just some old guy in a rubber mask pulling a B and E to look for gold or something like that. They are usually high as hell mumbling about meddlesome kids. Anyway I'm hungry. Can you wrap this up?"

"For the love of Maple…..so the king and queen invited….all of their citizens of the magical persuasion. Happy?"

"Better."

"Fur die Liebe der ficken! Halt deine Fresse! Quit interrupting!", Gilbert yelled, smacking Alfred upside his head, hurting his own hand in the process. The American's thick skull barely registered it.

"I don't speak gibberish.", Alfred politely reminded him.

"You Dummbatz! Das ist mir furzegal! Learn something other than tard!", Gilbert spat back at him.

"Rude cervelle d'oiseau. Both of you behave. Where was I?…Oh yeah…At the party, the …whatevers placed blessings on the royal dude giving him, her…it beauty, grace, wealth, and health. Pretty much your standard package really. Unfortunately for the king and queen, someone had forgotten to invite the powerful….."

"Now what?", Ludwig said irritably. They were wasting daylight, the four even going so far as to sit down in the middle of the road around a fire roasted marshmallows Alfred had somehow pulled out of nowhere.

"Well once again no one is sure. A witch maybe? Or a bad fairy(Al, shut the hell up!). A sorceress?"

"So the villain or evil dude.", Alfred provided answer.

'sigh' "Yes the evil dude crashed the party and cursed the child."

"Not awesome. Sound like a total schwanz.", Gilbert yawned followed by sneezing in boredom. He attempted to feed some gooey mallow to Gilbird who pecked him for his efforts.

"I really think that is besides the point.", Matthew mused, successfully feeding a perfectly toasted mallow to Kumajirou.

"Can we continue?", Ludwig managed out in pained tones, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"So the curse is an abnormal object death curse fairly standard with a jilted guest of the magical persuasion. Details provided claims it was a spindle needle of a spinning wheel. Go figure on that one. One prick and the person dies…..Al….What is wrong with you now?", Matthew sighed, trying to ignore his brother's obvious confusion.

"What's a spindle?"

The sound of multiple face palms was heard of the German and Canadian sort.

"Ok, so long story short, something happened, Scheiße got real.", Gilbert groaned, glaring at the oblivious American.

"Oui. The good fairies though had one gift left to give so they changed the curse to one of death to one of deep sleep instead, and…eyebrows? That can't be right.", Matthew sighed, flipping through his notes again, "Apparently the royal dude's hobby was embroidery…"

"Sheeeee-it, those people seriously didn't have enough sense to pour piss outta a boot before puttin it on. You'd think someone would nip that in the butt and just avoid the whole damn mess. How hard is it to avoid a damn needle?" Alfred drawled, making a proper sticky mess out of himself by making little sandwiches from the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers. Gilbert kept stealing them from him.

"Obviously but there you go and here we are.", Matthew shrugged, helping himself to one of Alfred's sticky sandwiches as well.

"And this is why I can't have nice things.", Alfred lamented his lack of s'more goodness, "So what now? Can the curse be broken?"

"Oui, but only by true love's kiss."

"Oh…really?"

"Yup."

"Well that's just stupid."

"How so?", Matthew asked, somehow managing to refrain from rolling his eyes.

"Some ancient dude is napping for a couple of hundred years. Who the hell is going to jump that? The morning breath alone would be lethal.", Alfred explained.

"Fuck it! I say we go!", Gilbert stated firmly, nodding.

"And why is that bruder?", Ludwig sighed, not expecting a whole lot really from his kin.

"Uh duh West. There is an entire castle of rich stuff just laying around here. Let's go raid that mofo!", Gilbert snorted.

"That's an awesome idea!", Alfred agreed, s'more theft forgiven in light of treasure.

"Well it was my idea.", Gilbert said proudly, patting himself on the back for his genius, the depths of which even amazed him sometime.

"We are not going to steal anything. We will just go there, make a detailed report on our findings and leave the castle as we found it. The people inside are asleep not dead. Understand?", Ludwig glared, witling the awesome due.

"Ja."

"Fine."

"Killjoy."

"Seriously."