Title: Poor Child? Poor Parents!

By: Dark Dreamscape

Author's note: Well... Just trying to kill time, I guess... Maybe I should work on other stories. Meh. OH WELL. I'm just gonna rant because I'm just a spoiled brat like that: Depression sucks. For whatever reason, I'm feeling under the weather and I don't know if it's the food poisoning or personal problems. But it sucks that I'm eating 24/7 and not moving my lazy butt. So here I am, sitting here with food poisoning, though I'm eating food, picking up my virtual pen and writing. ...Whoop dee do. P.S. This might be a one-shot or a two-shot. Depends.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail. I might write filler for That's What You Get!... Who knows.

Chapter 1: "Man" vs. "Woman"

Carla sipped warm tea from her cup as she watched Elfman arguing with Evergreen, not that it doesn't happen regularly. She was actually surprised that Mira wasn't fangirling over them as a couple. To check on why, Carla found a surprising scene. Mira wasn't even her usual self, she was crying on the counter, being comforted by a nervous Freed, wailing, "THE POOR CHILD!"

Well... We probably know what that was about... Carla shook her head and mused, 'Hm... Poor child... I wonder why,' and relaxed as she felt that another vision was coming to her.

"Poor... Child...?" she repeated, sweating, though the tiny phrase caused Mira to look at the feline.

"Yeah..." Mira nodded through sobs, occasionally blowing her nose on a slightly damp-no, really damp-handkerchief.

"More like... Poor parents... Elfman, specifically," Carla said while rubbing her temples sadly.

"Elfman?" Mira asked, but not before rubbing the tears from her eyes and to stop blowing her nose, "What about him?"

"Well..." Carla started to explain what she saw in the vision.

~Flashback~

"Come on, come on!" Elfman urged the toddler, not even 2 years old. "Say 'man', say 'man'!"

"I told you," Evergreen sighed, obviously irritated at his futile attempts, "Babies don't usually speak until they're 2 or something! And she a girl, Elfman!"

"But my babies can speak and they're not even two!" Bixlow butted in, only to be dragged away by his own wife.

"Well I said 'MAN' before I was two!" Elfman argued, proudly showing his 'manliness'.

"THE AVERAGE, GEEZ! She's barely 18 months old, for crying out loud!" she countered, rocking the baby back a forth in her arms a bit.

"Mhrmmm..." a soft gurgle was heard. Both adults looked to the baby to see her eyes open a bit, saliva dripping down as she said her first words.

"YES!" Elfman yelled, "SAY 'MAN', COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT!"

Evergreen sighed, she was pretty happy and all but... She shivered at the thought of the girl becoming like... No, there was no way that she would become such an imbecile who only fought and said "MAN!" all the time!

"...-man..." the gurgle was heard again, and Evergreen almost dropped the girl in shock. But not until she heard the word repeated, this time more clearly.

"Woman..." she said, reaching up and holding onto Evergreen's wavy hair.

Elfman's celebration of his daughter seemingly saying "man" was interrupted by her repeating what she was saying all along. "Woman." Promptly after this, he fell to the floor clutching where his heart would be, yelling like the world was over. Or like the time when he beat Bacchus. Gildarts was pretty proud of him for that.

Evergreen couldn't help but giggle a bit, then dialed Mira's number.

Just by hearing the crackling of oil, Evergreen could tell that Mira was cooking breakfast. "Er, heeey..." she said, hoping not to make the ex-'Demon Woman' mad. "I think your brother is having a break-down... Or a heart attack..." her suspicions were proven when the clatter of the spatula to the floor was heard.

"Hey hey, calm down!" Evergreen tried to salvage the situation while she used her other hand to dial Wendy's number (Why not? Her Dragon Slayer magic also can heal) "It's just because... His daughter, y'know... Said 'woman' instead of 'man' and it's kinda a shock to him..."

*silence*

"Uh, hello...? Mira?"

*thud*

"...Crap."

After Carla finished relaying the vision to Mira and Freed, they started to have a melting pot of feelings. Laughter from the thought of Elfman having a heart-attack from "woman" and shock from the thought that Elfman was going to get a heart-attack.

Staring back at the two arguing, the future Carla saw didn't really seem too far away... Because it seemed so much like them, anyways. "Poor parents, indeed."

No flames! I have... Nothing as a shield, because I don't own anything... You guys know that from the disclaimer, right? So... Just a killing time thing people... And it seems to be a one shot, not a two shot. Hope you enjoyed, later~