Okay, so this is my second crackfic and, coincidentally, they're both Percy Jackson (or, well, this is partly PJ). This happens during the PJ series, before HoO. Note that the excuses happen during different parts of PJ, like one may be during TLO, and another during TSoM. I meant to do that! Um, I'm not really sure when this happened during THG, but it's probably before the first book. Also, please don't say I'm stupid for doing this or anything. People said that in some reviews on my last crackfic, and I had to explain that I wrote it like that on purpose. It's the same for this.

I do not own Percy Jackson, President Snow, or the Hunger Games.

"Hello, demigods!" A man exclaimed. "My name is President Snow. I am from the future. My world hosts a game called the Hunger Games, where teens ages twelve to eighteen fight to the death. However, one of our contestants has come down with a nasty disease, so we need one of you to take his place. Any boy or girl has a shot. Here we go."

Snow stuck his hand inside a bag full of demigod names before pulling one out.

"Charles Beckendorf!" He exclaimed. Suddenly, his phone rang. He picked it up and listened before hanging up. "Sorry, but it seems as if Charles died earlier today. Lets pick someone else!

"... Nico DiAngelo!" The phone rang again. "... Uh, sorry again, but I've just found out that Nico is currently missing. Let's choose another person!

"Luke Castellan! Wait, no. He's gone over to Kronos. Can't get in the way of another bad guy! Another!

"Grover Underwood! ... He's not even human.

"Clarisse La Rue! ... Oh. Oh my. Um, Clarisse is currently stuffing a new demigod's head down a toilet. Wouldn't want to interrupt her."

Snow was now seriously looking annoyed. "Let's see if we can choose someone who's not dead, missing, a bad guy, stuffing someone's head down a toilet, and someone who's actually human.

"... Percy Jackson! ... He's currently a guinea pig. ... That's it! I'll go somewhere else for my new contestant! You demigods are too clumsy and too busy and you have too many excuses! I'm through!"

So what'd you guys think? Really crazy and stupid, I know, but I came up with it, went through a verbal version of it with my friend, and she said I should totally write it and publish it on FF. So here it is!

Please review!