A/N: Done. Fun to write. Hope no one was offended.

Reparata

Chapter 9
Battle of Pasadena

Pasadena General Hospital

"I'm not crazy, Dr. N'champa. My mother had me tested." His voice was petulant and he hated the tone. "And besides, as I explained to Melissa, I was thinking and when I think about something esoteric, I pace. It's hardly my fault that somebody decided that what I was doing was an attempt at suicide? I mean, really…"

"Yes, Dr. Cooper, but to society, it doesn't appear as an acceptable method of solving a problem."

"The problem was not expressible as a mathematical construct inasmuch as it was purely emotional. Now, OW, damn it!"

"Should I call a nurse to see about pain medication, Dr. Cooper? You really shouldn't be trying to move your arm at all. I'm sure the doctor – "

"No. I don't take drugs of any kind except those over the counter remedies or those specifically prescribed by a physician I trust, not someone I've never met."

"You were brought in unconscious and it was necessary to operate to repair the damage done to your shoulder and rotary cuff muscle group. You had no opportunity to meet with any medical personnel so your argument is moot. Now, let us talk about what prompted you to consider taking your own life."

"Oh, Saint Isaac Newton, wilt thou not rid me of this woman?" It was the first session of three. Sheldon was being detained on a 72-hour sanity evaluation required by law when a possible suicide attempt was involved. He was not a happy camper.

"You still have not discussed the reason you were prancing around – "

"I. DO. NOT. PRANCE! I'm not insane, mentally deranged or a danger to society although that may not be true much longer if you do not stop this interrogation!"

"Are you always this defensive when your motivation is called into question?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes and then stared at the small woman. "I am not defensive. I am being held against my will in this institution because my behavior does not fall within society's accepted norms, isn't that the real reason? I have an IQ of 187, two PhDs, numerous academic honors and – "

"Sheldon, dear, tell me what the voices in your head are saying? Do they tell you to hurt yourself or others?"

"Voices? What voices? The only voice I've heard lately has been yours and you don't tell me anything. You ask questions that are intrusive and highly personal. I have no idea why you insist on asking me these idiotic questions when I have explained, in aggravatingly excruciating detail I might add, the precise events that occurred on the rooftop of my apartment building."

"Did you or did you not tell Dr. Eric Gabelhauser that you were from the future and that it was imperative that – "

"Absolutely not! I haven't seen Dr. Gabelhauser since…"

"There are video surveillance tapes of you, wearing a beard as a disguise and dressed in clothing that no one has ever seen you in, telling Dr. Eric Gabelhauser that you were from the future."

"Well, there you go. I obviously have no beard and as for futuristic clothing…"

"I never said anything about futuristic clothing, Sheldon, I – " knowing she' caught him up in a lie.

"Dr. N'champa, if I were to pretend to be from the future I would have worn a Star Fleet uniform. What will it take to get me out of this asylum? I cannot lie to you; surely my friends have confirmed that I have no ability to prevaricate whatsoever. My face breaks out in more tics than a herd of feral deer in high summer."

The psychiatrist sighed and stood up, clearly intent on ending the interview. "Wait! Why can't I have visitors? Surely my friends have inquired about me?"

"Oh, they have but you are not permitted any outside contact until I decide it's safe for both you and your visitors. Sorry. Procedure where suicides are concerned."

"Oh for the love of Physics, you nag, I was trying to understand women, one woman in particular. Satisfied now? Are you feeling a jolt or two of pleasure in your nethers now that you have peeled the Cooper onion and found my innermost insecurity? Go away. If I wanted to kill myself I'd just subscribe to the Oxygen Channel and die of boredom."

"That wasn't so hard now, was it? I'm going to allow visitors, Dr. Cooper, but there must be a member of the medical staff standing by. It's procedure in the case of a suspected suicide."

"No. That will not do at all. I'm an adult, a taxpayer, a 'solid citizen' and I refuse to allow some graduate of the California Correspondence School of Junk Science to dictate my schedule or to control my life. I'd rather eat worms than submit to this carrot-and-the-stick treatment."

Sheldon closed his eyes and turned his mind inwards, effectively shutting out everything and everyone.

The psychiatrist closed her notebook and smiled. Progress.

"Go on in. He's cranky and won't take the pain medications but then I'm not a bit surprised. Unless he tries something stupid, like making a break for it, I'm signing off on his sanity. I can't believe I'm saying this but Dr. Sheldon Cooper is too smart for his own good and spends way too much time being someone he's not."

She looked at the people standing in the waiting area and frowned.

"You're his friends, surely you know what I mean. I've never met a shyer man in my life but most of you think his arrogance and narcissism are the 'real' Dr. Cooper but if any of you had taken the time to hear what he wasn't saying, you'd understand that these things are his walls, his fortress, against having to deal with people."

Melissa Hidalgo interrupted the shrink. She came by to thank Sheldon for pulling her back onto the roof. She was off-duty and in civilian clothes.

"When Sheldon and I spoke on the roof, it's procedure to draw jumpers into conversation, anyway, he said that he wasn't very good with people. That you all think that he's some robot or something but that none of you really know him at all. He knows that he's 'socially and emotionally' inept but he wants so much to be 'normal' and loved."

She fixed the doctor with a glare. Melissa figured that the girl with the swollen eyes and red nose was the one he was trying to understand.

"Do you know what he was doing on that rooftop? He was trying to figure out if he was in love. That's all. He couldn't identify how he felt and why. He was trying to solve it as an equation using his science but it wouldn't fit. He wasn't going to jump, Doctor, and that's exactly how I filed my report. So why are you keeping here?"

"State law requires a 72-hour hold in these cases. It also coincides with his surgeon's treatment plan so it's just two birds with one stone. This is not the psych ward, people. It's just an ordinary hospital room but he hasn't realized it yet. When he does, he's going to be totally pissed off." She laughed and waved goodbye to the assembled group and walked to her office.

Bernadette nudged Howard and glared at him and looked pointedly at Penny. "Apologize, Howie, or you can use your hand for the next few weeks. Oh, weeks? MONTHS, Howard Wolowitz, MONTHS!"

Howard mumbled an apology and then he and Bernadette left. She had to start a shift at the Cheesecake Factory. She was covering Penny's shifts to allow her to be with Sheldon.

Rajesh Koothrappali stood between Riva and Lacey. "So, you're an astrophysicist, huh? What's a nice Indian man like you doing so far from home?" asked Riva. Lacey rolled her eyes and then had an idea. She really liked the idea of having a guy in their lives, just not in their bed.

"Rajesh, I've got a proposition for you. Are you up for a challenge." She eased herself against him and started rubbing circles on his chest. He gulped but nodded in the affirmative.

"Y-y-yes." Everyone looked at him in surprise.

"Good. We both loved having Sheldon in our lives and we'll miss him. We want a guy to be our main man, to party with us, to have fun with us, and there are benefits, Raj. Just ask Shel – "

"AHEM!" Penny cleared her throat and glared at Riva and Lacey, not having forgotten that they'd slept with Sheldon.

"You two keep your hands off Sheldon. No more 'pigs in the blanket', understand? He's mine and I do not share. We can all be friends but no 'benefits', understand?"

"But Penny," Riva whined, "just think of the possibilities with the four of us – " Lacey dragged her and Raj away before there was bloodshed. She knew Penny got the point. If she thought they'd done a 3-way, so be it. It would keep her honest.

Bitter End Bar
6 months later

Raj leaned against the bar sipping his Coke and watched his two lady friends dance and have a good time. Everyone seemed surprised that he could talk with them but he figured it was because he almost thought of them as 'boys' and then corrected himself. They were gorgeous women of no sexual interest to him and therefore he could talk with them.

He no longer invested in sweater vests and greatly enjoyed the shopping excursions with Lacey. He now sported a very hip wardrobe and the straight girls he met were fascinated by his relationship with the two lovers and that always led to other things.

"Hi, I'm Lydia. Lacey told me you were shy and that's fine because I prattle on when I'm nervous. And I'm always nervous around cute guys and…see, I'm prattling."

Raj set down his soft drink and led the tall redhead out onto the dance floor. He saw her 'partner' shooting daggers at him with her eyes and Lydia just whispered that she was 'bi-sexual' and 'not to worry about her 'friend'. Raj started to stutter. He could talk to gay women but not straight ones (yet) but he had no idea how he'd react to a bi.

Penny brushed a few grains of rice from his shoulder, being very gentle with the right one. "How was your final therapy session, Moon Pie? What's the verdict on the shoulder?"

"I'm back to normal and have been for quite a while. I wish you would not nag me, Penny. And please, don't call me Moon Pie. I've told you and told you that only Meemaw calls me that."

"Okay, okay, I get it, Sheldon. Sheesh! You'd think after all these years and after all we've been through together that it would be okay by now." She looked out at the dance floor and saw Raj with a redhead, his 'two ladies' looking on with watchful eyes even as they danced.

"Dance with me, Shel?" She grabbed his hand and gently led him to the dance floor. When they planned, it seemed only fitting that they end up here.

The DJ saw Penny's surreptitious signal and he started to play a series of slow songs and then he made an announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Bitter End is pleased to introduce for the first time…Dr. and Mrs. Sheldon Cooper!"