Hello, I'm Iikku and this is my first fanfic that I uploaded here. It's MAJOR crack in some bits, just to warn. English is not my first language, so there might be some grammar mistakes. Slight OOC may be in the fic. No pairings so far, if you squint you may see something. Found also in dA.

America was at Canadas place, for an unknown reason. Maybe he had ran out of food. Maybe he wanted someone to praise his heroic ass. Who knows...Perhaps Canada? No, he did not. He had better things to worry about. Like chairs which Americas heroic ass had broken.

"I have to go get new chairs now. France and England are coming tonight for a visit", Canada sighed.

"Why are Iggybrows and Francey-pants coming over? Are you playing games? I wanna play games too! What are you playing?" America rambled.

"No, we're not playing games. I don't know why they are coming, France just called me and told me they'd be here in the evening. I didn't have a chance to ask, he just hung up on me."

"Huh. No games. How boring. You'll need someone to chase the boredom away, and that's where the hero comes in! I'll stay too! Hahahahahaa!" the louder one stated and did a hero pose. Canada facepalmed. He was screwed now.

"I still need those new chairs..."

"Not to worry! I have an awesome plan to save your little canadian ass! Come on, we'll go to IKEA!" America said and grabbed his brothers hand. He pulled the other one out of the house and threw him on the passengers seat in his Ford Mustang.

"What-?" Canada asked confused, and before he realized they were on the way to IKEA.

"Hahahahahaa! See how fast I am? It's because all the sugar I eat!" America laughed and speeded along the highway.

"How much have you had?! You're way too fast!"

"Oh not that much. I ate three bowls Sugarpuffs in morning, then twenty Mars bars, then some ice cream, and then deep-fried Mars-bars..."

"THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH SUGAR!"

"Oh it's just my breakfast. Look a squirrel! But anyway after that I ate a bag of chips, they were covered in chocolate..."

"You're going to get diabetes."

"What's that? An animal?"

After a while they arrived to a big blue box-like building.

"Hahahahahaa! Look, were here! In record time too! See how fast I am? Everyone should eat sugar this much, you know?"

"Yeah, sure...but are you sure about this? I've heard pretty scary stories about IKEA. People getting lost, ending up in the weirdest places, never getting out..."

"Oh that's crazy talk! You sound like Iggy, you know? C'mon, Sweden is not a psycho! It's not like he would design a killer trap out of a furniture store! Let's go, Canada!" America said and dragged his brother in the store. White walls and minimalistic furniture gave the place a futuristic look.

"So what we had to get here?"

"Chairs, because you broke mine..."

"Oh yeah! Don't cha worry bro, I'm a hero so I'm gonna pay them! So where are the chairs?"

"We have to walk through the store and see if we can find any good looking stuff. In the end of the walk, there is a storage room where we fetch the furniture. They'll be in boxes so we have to put them together when we get home..."

"Simple! How long it will take to walk through?"

"I don't know. Maybe twenty minutes? This place is pretty big..."

"Nah, we'll make it in ten minutes! Let's go!" America said and ran to the first section of the store. Canada followed after him, afraid that his brother might break something, or even get lost.

"Hey Canada! How about these ones? Nice and cool-looking! Look, you can even get them in twenty different colours!"

"America, those are beanbags."

"So? They're awesome!"

"I don't think I need such things. We need chairs."

"Fine, whatever. How about this one?"

"That's an armchair."

"Nevertheless, it's a chair!"

"America, no. A real chair", Canada sighed once again. They continued their walk, not finding any chairs. Instead, they had collected quite a lot everything they DID NOT need. They had candles, pillows, boxes and stuffes animals in their yellow IKEA bags. After a while Canada started to feel nervous. Was this thing ever going to end? If it continued like this, they would lose all ther money.

Entering another minimalistic show room, America saw a pillow with Stars and Stripes printed on it. He grabbed it and started to hug and praise it.

"OMIGOD! This is so awesome! Man, I always knew Sweden was a good designer, but this is just damn cool! Look, it's so beautiful! Stars and Stripes! Dude, I'm so gonna hug Sweden after this!"

"Yeah yeah, that's nice. Come on, let's move 's the next room?"

"Umm, wait...I think it's that way."

"But wait, that's where we came from. Is it that way?"

"No, that's a short cut..."

"America..."

"Don't say it! Don't you dare to say it!"

"I think we are l..."

"STOP THAT IGGYTALK! We are not!"

"We are lost."

"...Yeah. We are kinda lost."