Remember, crack is crack. Enjoy.


"Mhm, oh yes, yes, that's the spot," Quinn moaned with the side of her face pressed against a pillow that smelled like Rachel. She loved that pillow. "So good, don't stop..."

Quinn was in wonderland. Her eyes rolled back in her head from pure bliss and her mouth was constantly half-open, because she needed to express her pleasure through obscenely loud moans. Her brain was completely blown empty. All she could register was the feeling of Rachel's magic hands on her bare back, rubbing her in all the right places, touching her with dosed pressure.

If Quinn wasn't crazy before, then she was certainly now because Rachel's hands drove her crazy.

She could feel her whole body tingle, from her little toe to her ears which were buzzing. She was in heaven. All the sundays she had spent in church when she was younger weren't in vain, she finally had landed in heaven. Though she was sure that that wasn't what her conservative parents meant, it was her belief that counted, and she did feel like floating on cloud nine.

"Is that okay?"

Quinn heard Rachel softly mutter above her and she felt hands switching places on her back, moving to her sides and rubbing them there.

Her breath hitched. Those hands were dangerously close to her bare breasts. Just moving one inch up would be enough to cop a feel.

And Quinn secretly wanted Rachel to do that. The blonde didn't unclasp her bra for no reason. In the back of her mind, there was always hope for more. Because if those hands could bring her to heaven through a massage, then she didn't even dare to think about what would happen if those hands tried to touch her sexually.

"Mhm, yesss," Quinn hissed, almost arching her back and even to herself did she seem desperate for sex.

It's just a massage. Get yourself together, Fabray. If Rachel wanted you, she would've dropped hints or tried to brush the sides of your breasts, but she didn't, so keep still and stop withering like she's eating you out.

That was what Quinn kept innerly chanting. But it didn't work.

"Oh," she whimpered when Rachel pressed a particularly good spot that made the hair on her neck stand up. "Good God..."

Quinn was sure that her nipples were hard by now, she had never felt so aroused. She just wanted to turn around on her back, pull Rachel atop of her and beg her to take her, because she was too horny for her own good.

"You know," Rachel cleared her throat, "you can tell me if you want me to go harder."

Quinn was glad that her face was pressed against Rachel's pillow. Her cheeks were going to through fifty shades of red and her mind was conjuring dirty, dirty pictures and she could feel her blood rushing south, though she had been lying flat on her stomach for twenty minutes.

She couldn't take it much longer.

"Please," she whimpered, "just do it. Just..."

Quinn bit on her lip. She almost said 'take me' out loud.

She suddenly felt hair-ends tickling her bare shoulderblades and next thing she knew, a soft voice whispered in her ear, warm lips brushing her ear shells. "Just what, Quinn? Tell me what you want me to do or I'll stop."

And Quinn's heart felt like exploding. It started beating like crazy, wanting to get out of her ribcage, and everything inside of her turned and churned and performed insane acrobatics.

"I...I want you to..." Quinn breathed, choking on her words because she was too overwhelmed and horny, "please, put your hands...touch me..."

"Mhm, where?" Quinn heard Rachel teasingly whisper, feeling her nose graze her neck, blowing hot air against her skin. "You have to be specific."

Quinn was burning. She was on fire. "Take me," she finally got out, arching her back, "put your hands on my breasts."

"I'm sorry?"

Quinn uncontrollably twitched with her head, aroused and frustrated, "On my breasts. Please touch me."

"Quinn, are you okay?"

Those magic hands had stopped massaging her. They were questioningly nudging her now. "Quinn? If you are awake, would you please let me know? You've been talking in your sleep."

That was when Quinn's eyelids flew open.

It had been a fucking dream. She had fucking fallen asleep during the massage and started dreaming about having sex with Rachel.

Not good.

Quinn abruptly pushed herself up, forgetting that her loose bra was dangling around her shoulders and not doing their job of covering her breasts.

In her embarrassment over the inappropiate dream, she didn't notice Rachel's eyes lingering on her goodies and her cheeks heating up.

"I think it's late now," Quinn quickly said, searching for her discarded shirt. "I need to head back."

"Okay," Rachel distractedly replied, her eyes soaking up the sight in front of her. She was going to feel ashamed after Quinn was gone. But not now. She used the precious time to memorize the important things.

"Er, thank you," Quinn hastily said, "I really feel a lot better now. You are...great. Great like that. Erm, good night and...I'll – I'll, you know, see you. See you soon. If you want, of course – anyway, good night."

And Quinn fled the room again, wearing her shirt inside out and completely wrinkled and not even pulled down to hide her stomach. She practically leapt at her door and crashed into her room, throwing herself onto her bed. She took her pillow and covered her face with it, and when the lack of Rachel's scent registered in her brain, she let out a muffled scream.

She was doomed, doomed, doomed.

The next day, when Quinn sat in the library and learned, she noticed that her back wasn't protesting anymore and that her neck was unusually soft. No tight muscles, no cracking bones, no stiff joints. She actually felt great and was almost enthusiastic about her next ten hours library marathon.

No wonder why all the girls loved a massage from Rachel.

Quinn narrowed her eyes and suddenly lost interest in learning. Because she had just realized that there was no way she could ever let any other girl than herself feel the bliss that were Rachel's hands. She wanted her all to herself.

But how? She couldn't keep interfering or keep using Brittany's number, people would get suspicious and if Rachel found out, she'd think of her as a madwoman and never want to date her. Actually, she was sure that Rachel would then begin to hate her, because she used to have girls lining up in front of her door, and now she only had...a crazy blonde named Quinn Fabray.

She heard someone approaching her and her heart picked up speed. Maybe it was Rachel again?

"Hi, Quinnie."

Quinn tried to hide her disappointment when she looked up and greeted Brittany with a small smile.

Brittany looked at her with a serious expression. An expression that she had rarely seen.

"Whatever that is what you're doing, please stop. Stop using my number, stop mentioning my name and just generally keep me out of this," Brittany said in one breath. "Half my dance class is giving me a hard time because I'm supposed to somehow keep them away from a Rachel massage. And it's not okay that I get the blame for the things you've done. I tolerated it the first three times you used me as your scapegoat, but I refuse to explain three more times why my legs aren't broken. If you want Rachel to yourself, then just ask her out, I'm sure she won't say no."

Quinn was dumbfounded. Brittany had never talked to her like that.

She didn't know what to say and it was unnecessary, because Brittany switched expressions from one second to the next and cheerily said, "Bye, I still have a dance routine to practice."

With wide eyes and an open mouth, Quinn watched her friend bounce away.

The professor for music history was late. The students were chatting away and Quinn wanted to join a group of people she knew and liked, when suddenly Santana Lopez stood in her way with an unnerving smirk.

Quinn warily eyed her, because though they had been sharing this class since the start of the new term, they had never acknowledged each other before.

"Hey there Barbie girl," Santana greeted with a grin and she wiggled her eyebrows. "When's the wedding, huh?"

Quinn looked at her in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

Santana rolled her eyes and added, "C'mon, it's not like the whole dorm didn't hear it. You sure are loud in the bedroom though you don't look like it."

Slowly, Quinn began to realize what Santana was hinting at and pure terror settled on her face. "What! You heard that?"

Santana laughed and smirkingly replied, "Yep, sure did, wanted to go back to my room and what did my ears hear? The holy Quinn Fabray letting out not so holy sounds."

"No, it's not what you think," Quinn vehemently shook her head, "It was just a massage!"

But Santana still had this shit-eating grin and she slowly nodded. "Yeaaah, just a massage. It's okay, no judging here, I'm just sayin'." And she meaningfully winked at her. "Your secret's safe with me."

"But-" Quinn desperately started and got interrupted by a smirking Santana again, "It's okay, it's okay, don't freak out Barbie girl. Just, try to keep it down next time, don't want others to get the wrong ideas, right?"

Speechless, Quinn watched Santana saunter away to a seat, because the professor had just entered the lecture room.

She didn't know that she had been this loud. That was the only thing that bothered her, not that Santana had hinted on her having sex with Rachel. Because in her mind, they were already together. Rachel was already her girlfriend. It was just that Rachel didn't know that yet.

Was she acting like a crazy fangirl?

No. Not in her opinion. Because she didn't have posters of Rachel hanging on her wall and she wasn't going to do that anytime soon. She wasn't that crazy. She knew that that were no posters of Rachel Berry or she would've hung them up long ago.

The next days were pure paradise on earth. Quinn had never felt so alive. She was vibrating with joy and vital energy, her steps were bouncy and her expressions dreamy, everything was perfect and nothing hurt.

With every Rachel massage, her entire body gained more energy and strength, and she had never felt so relaxed at the same time. She felt invincible.

But while Quinn's world got brighter and brighter, the worlds of at least two dozen girls got darker and darker. Because Quinn stole their massages, she stole their happiness, she took everything and there was none of Rachel left for the poor girls. Especially the dancers were more in need of a massage than Quinn.

So right now, there were at least two dozens of grumpy girls walking around the campus with stiff joints and tight muscles. All quite snappy and moody.

And Quinn had no fucks to give. She was happy. That counted. She deserved to be happy, too.

Her new gained energy showed in the cheerleader practices, she was much more enthusiastic and was relentlessly bouncing around to give instructions to her fellow teammates. She loved life.

So that was why she didn't mind Natalie Rojnov taking forever in the dressing room this time. She didn't have the negative energy to feel annoyed at the part-time model, who was taking her sweet time in blowing dry her blonde hair.

"Hey, Quinn," Natalie suddenly spoke up after she had shut off the hairdryer. "Thank you for always waiting for me. I know it must be annoying you."

Quinn was taken by surprise when Natalie spoke to her, they usually never exchanged many words outside cheerleader training.

Though Quinn had already stood halfway outside the dressing room, she walked back in.

"No, it's okay. It's my job," she lightly said and she really didn't feel annoyed. She was in a good mood. Had been for a week.

Natalie smiled at her. "Well, I had the feeling that you sometimes felt annoyed with me. But I see you had a good day."

Quinn nodded and smiled. "Yeah, it's been a pretty good week for me. Nothing can trouble me now."

Natalie tilted her head. "Oh really? Nothing?" And her smile went askew, her eyes narrowing down to a resentful look. "Then how about locking you up in a dressing room for two hours and making you miss a massage that could make your day? How about that?"

Quinn froze on the spot. She took a small step back when suddenly there was another voice behind her.

"Or how about heading to the clinic and making a fool out of yourself by asking for a friend who isn't there?"

Quinn whipped around and her eyes widened at the sight. It was that Caroline girl.

"And what about cancelling massage dates for you, just so I can get them myself?" And Gabrielle popped up behind Caroline. "Does this still not trouble you?"

Quinn didn't know where to look. There were more girls entering the dressing room, filling it up one by one and forcing Quinn to move back. They were all glaring at her, trying to murder her with their looks.

Quinn was too stressed out to count the number of girls right now, but she could guess that there were at least twenty girls present.

"We know what you did," Natalie placed herself between Gabrielle and Caroline. "And we will kindly ask you to stop. We need the massages, too, it's the only thing that keeps us sane. Unless there's a good reason, you've got to stop keeping Rachel to yourself."

Quinn's mouth fell open. She needed a reason, a good reason to keep Rachel to herself...

"We're dating," Quinn blurted out and the whole room got silent. Twenty pairs of wide eyes were set on her. "I...she's – my girlfriend, and I don't want her to touch anyone else. That's why I did it. I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell Rachel to stop, because she's so nice and I didn't want to fight with her over that and I -"

"Hey," Gabrielle softly interrupted and she shared a look with the girls around her. They sighed and nodded. Gabrielle turned to Quinn again. "We get it. We can understand that. It's just...it would've been better if you just told the truth from the start. There was no need for all the lies."

Quinn couldn't believe it. They were actually swallowing her biggest lie yet. "Uh, yes, I see that now. I'm sorry for those lies, but I – urm, did it out of love?"

The other girls slowly nodded their heads and murmured to themselves, and one by one left the room until there were only Caroline, Gabrielle and Natalie left.

"Hey," Caroline hesitatingly spoke up and Gabrielle continued for her, "We're sorry about that. You know, the cornering you thing. We couldn't know that you were dating Rachel."

Natalie nodded and added, "Yeah and we're gonna respect that."

The three awkwardly waved at Quinn and left the dressing room as well.

Quinn shakingly exhaled. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage.

What had she done?

They had already become close friends that it wasn't unusual for them to regularly hang out together. So when Rachel invited her to a coffee in their favorite coffee shop, Quinn couldn't say no. Well, Quinn would've generally said yes to all Rachel's wishes, but the brunette didn't know that.

So they were on their way to the coffee shop and chatting about this and that, when they spotted Gabrielle from afar. She waved at them.

"Oh shit," Quinn muttered to herself while Rachel beamed and waved back.

Quinn sneakily linked their arms together and she snuggled up to Rachel with a short comment, "I'm cold." Rachel just nodded in understanding and didn't remark on it.

When Gabrielle approached them and was finally in hearing range, she brightly chipped, "Hi you two lovebirds!"

Quinn looked at Rachel in alarm, who furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, thinking she had heard wrong. "I'm sorry, but lov-"

"So, what have you been up to?" Quinn interjected before Rachel could say more. "Because we are out on a coffee date." She had stressed the word 'date' for emphasis, hoping Gabrielle would get the hint that they wanted to be alone. Well, at least Quinn wanted that.

"Oh," Gabrielle slowly said and she grinned. "I've just been out for a walk. Well then, I won't bother you any longer. Have fun!"

Quinn watched her stride away with relief.

"Did she call us love-birds?" Rachel questioningly stared after the disappearing form of Gabrielle.

"What? Nooo," Quinn replied, saying it as if it was the most ridiculous thing she had heard in a while. "You heard wrong. Because I heard...I heard - well, I don't know what I heard, but it wasn't love-birds, I mean, that would be ridiculous, us two, right?"

She let out a short, fake laugh but faltered when Rachel looked at her with a hurt puppy dog look.

"What do you mean it would be ridiculous? Does the idea of dating me disgust you?"

"No!" Quinn exclaimed in horror, having metaphorically just shot her own feet, "Absolutely not! Quite the opposite, I mean, not that I constantly think about dating you or something, but I'm certainly not disgusted and I … really don't know how to talk without making a fool out of myself."

Quinn sighed and expected Rachel to end their new friendship here and now. She looked at the ground because she didn't want to see Rachel's weirded out expression.

"You're cute when you're rambling."

Quinn looked up in surprise and blushed. Rachel was giving her an adoring look and it made her heart flutter.

"You know how I would feel about us dating?" Rachel slowly asked and Quinn almost dropped to her knees, because Rachel had just said the words 'us dating' together in one sentence. "I'd feel...all sorts of happy."

And Quinn was a goner. The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster ride, with her mind hitting close to insanity several times, but now she was officially gone; her brain had finally packed its bags and left because it was fed up with all the emotions messing up its living environment that was Quinn's head.

"Quinn?" Rachel worriedly asked, because the blonde had been staring at her for a while now.

"Yes," was Quinn's first word, "yes, yes, yes."

"I'm sorry?"

Quinn blinked. "Yes I'd love to go out on a date with you and yes, I'd love to marry you and yes, I'll have your children."

Now it was Rachel's turn to blink several times. And when she finally understood, a full smile blossomed on her face, getting brighter and bigger until it almost splitted her face. "You forgot one yes."

Quinn breathed, "Yes, I was the one to keep other girls from getting your massages."

And Rachel's smile dropped, getting replaced by a disbelieving look. "You did that?"

Her surprised tone awakened Quinn from her trance and she suddenly realized what she had done.

"Oh my god," she breathed, clawing at her face. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with myself lately, I've never made such a fool out of myself over anyone -"

"Hey, it's alright," Rachel softly whispered and she shyly glanced at the ground for a short moment. "No one's ever made a fool out of themselves over me and I thank you for that experience."

That girl was going to be Quinn's death. And it would be a wonderful death.

It was truly a magical moment. All the truths were out and their affections declared, and there was nothing inbetween them anymore, they could start anew, but as lovers this time. They had just built the foundation for more.

Quinn was captivated by Rachel's eyes and the glowing look in them. She knew her own eyes had the same look, if not additionally heart-shaped.

It was inevitable and maybe filled with clichés, but they couldn't care less about that because their first kiss was real and it felt right.

Quinn's knees shook, not just from the cold, but from the heat within her, because the only feeling in the world that was better than a Rachel massage was a Rachel kiss. And her body agreed, taking her to a new high. Her brain had still not returned.

And when they parted, they gazed at each other with fond looks full of promises about their future. Together.

"Quinn, you have been nothing but honest to me and I want our relationship to base on mutual trust," Rachel softly whispered. "There's still one thing I haven't told you."

Quinn nervously smiled. "You are an enchantress and that's why your massages feel like God's gifts to the human race?"

"Ha, no," Rachel laughed, but then paused, her expression nervous. "But I haven't always given massages. I, erm, learned it from a professional Thai masseur few months ago."

Quinn wanted to laugh out loud at Rachel's cuteness. If that was what her big secret was, then she could live with that.

Rachel shuffled with her feet. "Well...I learned it because of you."

Quinn tilted her head in confusion. "Because of me?"

Rachel blushed and batted with her eye-lashes. "Promise me not to be mad at me?"

"Okay?" Now Quinn was curious. She encouragingly nodded to Rachel.

"I've liked you for a while now and I, urm, started to massage all the girls because I didn't know how else to get your attention...But hey, before you get upset, it worked, didn't it?"


The End. (They bicker a little bit but then have hot make up sex and continue to live happily ever after together, and Quinn's the only girl Rachel will ever touch. Besides their beautiful children.)

So that was it guys and it was fun writing it, thank you for all the reviews :) From what I gathered, we all love fluffy Faberry with a dose of craziness and weirdness ^.^ Share your opinion in one last review?