Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they belong to their respective creators, I am merely a fan of their works and wish to pay tribute in a way that amuses me and bring practice to my writing so that one day, my own works of fiction can have it's own fanfiction. I own nothing.

~ I Will Go Down On This Ship

It was around 7:56 in the evening; Lestrade was waiting outside the doorstep of 221B Baker Street, when he saw a black car pull up. Mycroft Holmes had called him earlier about a crime; they talked and came to an agreement, to put Sherlock Holmes and John Watson on the case. The elder Holmes brother got out of the car and greeted Lestrade with a nod of his head.

"Ready?"

"Let's hope he takes it." Responded Lestrade

"He will, he can't refuse a good mystery, however it's best if you go first."

They entered and went up to the flat where Sherlock was playing a lovely tune on his violin and John was typing away on his computer. Sherlock stopped playing and turned around at the sound of footsteps and John looked up.

"Ah, Lestrade, coming in person to hand deliver a case?"

"Something like that."

Mycroft walked in and Sherlock's expression changed from subtle delight to stoic rebellion.

"No."

"You don't even know what it is." Said the Detective Inspector

"I don't have to, just knowing that Mycroft wants me on it is enough."

"Yes, as you can see Lestrade, my baby brother refuses to cooperate, even if it is of great importance."

The Holmes brothers were glaring at each other until John coughed.

"Um would you two like to sit?"

"Thanks John." Said the Inspector, while taking a seat on the couch

"I prefer to stand, thank you." Said Mycroft.

Sherlock put away his violin and leaned against the desk, in between the two tall windows.

"Great importance? Care to elaborate?"

"Inspector, I'll let you go first." Mycroft motioned for him to talk

"You two heard there is an infection of deadly drugs going around that is killing young men and women? Right?"

"Go on?"

"Well, just a few days a ago, two notorious drug traders just turned themselves in, saying that they wanted to get away from that life, however, they are booked on a cruise ship, headed towards the south of France for a drug lord and trade meeting. They were suppose to discuss trading, money and other drug information, it's all in their profile folder. Their names are George and Ash, and we need you two to go undercover as them."

Jon made a face that seemed to agree with the idea of going undercover, but Sherlock was giving Lestrade and Mycroft skeptical looks.

"There's something else, isn't there? Something that you're not telling us."

The Detective Inspector sighed and John felt a small bit of fear while Sherlock smirked, already knowing what the Inspector was going to say.

"The cruise line is called Fabulous Starlit Nights."

"There it is." Oh, did Sherlock feel smug, he knew it.

"I'm sorry, what about Fabulous Starlit Nights?"

"It's a gay cruise line, John."

"What?"

"It's true, we believe that the drug lords booked this cruise because it is inconspicuous, honestly, who would believe that some of the biggest drug lords on this side of the world would have a get together on a gay cruise line? For a vacation? I think not." Cheeked in Mycroft.

"I should also add that these two men are married to each other, hence, why they turned themselves in, said something about wanting a peaceful life."

John blanched a bit but pulled himself together,

"Well, um, as interesting as this sounds, I'm going to have to de-?!"

"We'll do it."

"Hang on?"

"I've got no other case at the moment, and my mind is just starting to rot. This is perfect, plus it's undercover work, so my thinking will have to work twice as fast, yes!"

"Now wait a minute! I haven't agreed to this!"

"But this case requires the both of us."

"Yes, yes it does. However, I haven't agreed to this crazy idea."

Sherlock gave him a look, studying his face,

"Can you give us a minute."

"Yeah, sure." Said Lestrade and Mycroft nodded

Sherlock pulled John by the sleeve on his jumper and they went to the far side of the kitchen to talk.

"What's wrong?"

"I, I just, I, This! This whole thing, is wrong. No, you or rather, they are asking for too much, I can't, I can't do it, I just can't."

"Are you really uncomfortable with the idea of being my husband?"

"Yes! Of course I am because I'm not gay!"

"John, it's not like you're actually going to have sex with me but you need to act like you are having sex with me."

"Do you hear what you're saying?"

"Yes, always."

"No, I don't think you do."

Sherlock got closer to John to talk quietly to him.

"I remember a time where you were comfortable with me being a homosexual."

"And it turns out that you're not an any type of sexual, plus I was just making conversation at the time."

"You asked if I had a boyfriend."

"I also asked if you had a girlfriend and what does that have to with this?"

"Everything."

"What? No, no, this, this is different. This is more than just hidden implications of are they or aren't they? This is a statement."

"A false statement, John."

"I just… I don't'… -sigh-"

"Your insecurity speaks volumes."

"What?"

"The fact that you're so uncomfortable at the idea of acting gay is an insight that you're not confident in your masculinity to act that way."

"What are you trying to say?"

"A real man would act gay in the name of justice."

John just gives him a look that says 'Damn you!'

After a few minutes of waiting, Mycroft and Lestrade see the brunette and the dirty blond return to the living room.

"It has been settled" proclaimed Sherlock

"Alright, we'll do it." John reluctantly threw out, arms crossed over his chest, clearly annoyed. Inspector Lestrade had a content look on his face while Mycroft smirked, all too knowing.

~ Divide Line~

Sherlock and John were going through the profile folders and the traders profile folders, turns out George was short and a bit stocky while Ash was slim and a bit willowy, no wonder Lestrade and Mycroft put them on the case, they fit the descriptions perfectly. Mycroft was talking about the case and the drug traders

"Ash is cunning and handles most of the trade deals with other drug lords and George manages the drug logistics and verifies that all the drugs meet their dealer locations-"

John then thought of something

"Wait, wouldn't the drug lords know that we're not the real George and Ash?"

"No, all of their drug trade deals are done through computer and text, no actual voice contact or in person contact, except now. A new drug has been developed and we want you two to find out the name, general effects on the body, selling price, distribution locations and everything else you can find. This in person meeting is about a worldwide distribution of the drug. All information is in the case profile and all information on George and Ash, including behavior; mannerisms and etc. are all in their profiles. Oh, almost forgot, here are your cruise tickets, Passports, debit and credit cards, VIP passes for cruise line events and this."

Mycroft gave them the necessary paper work tickets, reached in his suit pocket, pulled out a small box and gave it to John. John had a feeling of what was inside the box and dread it, but opened the box anyway. Two gold bands, snug inside their white velvet holder, only solidified the fact that they were going to go undercover as a gay married couple. Sherlock leaned over to look at the rings,

"Elegant yet simple, I like it."

John made a fussy sigh and noticed that all eyes were on him.

"What?"

"Well?

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to put the ring on my finger?"

"No, you can do it."

Sherlock rolled his eyes, got the box, put one ring on his finger and surprised John by putting the other ring on the doctor's finger.

"There, it's done."

John was looking at his hand where the ring was, turning it back and forth, trying to come to terms with what just happened.

Lestrade got up from the couch, and left them with a farewell and good luck, while Mycroft gave them a few more details.

"Your ship leaves in two days, which leaves you time to prepare and to do some shopping. I'll have a car ready to pick you up at 4:15 in the morning. I'll be leaving now, good bye." And Mycroft left the flat.

~Divide Line: The Sequel~

Sherlock and John continued their reading of the profiles, examining the case and the drug traders profiles. John looked up from his chair when Sherlock suddenly stood up in front of him.

"Let's perform an experiment"

"An experiment?"

"A test."

"A test?"

"A gay test, John."

"What?"

Sherlock unzipped his trousers and pulled them down, pants and all, to show John his dick.

"Jesus Christ Sherlock! What are you doing?! I don't need to see that, put it away!"

"Does it turn you on?"

John was looking any where except in front of him, mumbling

"We are not having this conversation right now, we are not having this conversation right now, we are not…"

"John!"

"Of course not, no! Your dick does not turn me on! Now put it away, please?"

"Hm." Sherlock re-did his pants and turned slightly to show John his cloth-covered ass.

"Does this, turn you on?"

"Sherlock, come on."

"Well does it John? Be honest."

Watson let out a sigh and looked at Sherlock's bum.

"No, it does nothing for me."

"Then you don't have to worry about being gay because you're obviously not."

"You know, that's a horrible stereotype, not all gay men are after dick and arse. They want love too."

"Yes, I understand that, however do these men look like they have a relationship based on love at first sight?"

John looked at the pictures of the men in the folders.

"Well, they did marry each other."

"That they did, but their relationship probably started out of lust. Get up."

"Oh, what now?"

"Just get up and stand by my side, we need to practice."

"Practice what exactly?" John got up and stood warily by Sherlock's right side.

"Now, grab my arse."

"What? No, I refuse!"

"Put. Your. Hand. On. My. Arse. And. Grab. It." Sherlock clenched through his teeth and forcing John's hand on his rear, while the doctor set his lips in a thin line of frustration. John wasn't so much grabbing as he was just resting his hand in the curve of Sherlock's ass cheek.

"If you were ten year old school boy and grabbing a girl's arse for the first time, you're doing a fine job, but you're not ten, now grab my arse like a man, dammit!"

Irate, John grabbed that cheek in a firm gripped which startled Sherlock and made him jump a bit.

"That's better. Ok, now pinch."

John gave him a dubious look

"You want me to pinch your arse?"

"Yes."

John gave that arse a good hard pinch and Sherlock was startled again. The tall brunette sent a small glare towards John, but the doctor gave him a look that said 'You asked for it?'

"Alright, fine, now caress my arse as if you own it."

John caressed

"Not good enough. Caress it like you mean it."

"But I don't-!"

"I don't care, just do it!"

John caressed again with the possession Sherlock told him about. The detective mad a sound of frustration.

"No, not good enough." Sherlock stepped away form John, thinking.

"Have a seat on the couch, John."

Watson gave him a skeptical look,

"Why?"

"We're still not convincing enough, just sit down and you'll see."

John dreaded where this could head but sat down. For Sherlock, this de-sensitization was becoming tedious, but he sat very close to John, with his chin on the doctor's shoulder and draped his arms around the smaller man. John was feeling flustered.

"What are you doing?"

"Hush, John, we're cuddling." John shivered when Sherlock spoke near his ear, it felt too intimate and he blushed

"Cuddling for what?" the dirty blond squeaked out, knowing that cuddling usually came after a certain night or day activity. Was Sherlock trying to prepare him for something?

"For the case, obviously."

"Um, you know what, I want out, you can do this by yourself, besides, you don't really need me anyway so, I'm done. I-?!"

Suddenly, Sherlock straddle the doctor's lap, John wanted to react but he felt trapped and flustered.

"Sherlock, what are you-?!"

The brunette on his lap stared his piercing gaze into John's eyes, looking for something.

"If we were to de-sensitize you about male on male intimacy, at your pace, it would take an entire week, we don't have time for that."

John felt like a deer trapped by headlights,

"So..?"

"So I'm speeding up the process." Sherlock held John's head in his hands and kissed him, full on the mouth. John was dazed, thinking and not thinking at the same time, but also feeling the kiss. His best friend, Sherlock Holmes, was kissing him; he felt awkward and embarrassed, which intensified when Sherlock was trying to prop open his mouth with that brilliant tongue. John didn't want to open his mouth, but Sherlock reached down and grabbed John's crotch, which made the doctor gasp. Sherlock's tongue invaded Watson's mouth, trying to make contact with the doctor's, but John was avoiding that type of contact. Or at least he tried; the endeavor was futile because Sherlock and John made tongue contact and it felt strangely pleasant for John, which freaked him out a bit. Sherlock felt a small spark in the kiss but figured that it's been a while since he's kissed anyone.

They broke the kiss, blushing, panting and trying to catch their breath. Sherlock and John avoided eye contact for a while, each trying to figure out if they actually felt something or if it was just a natural body response, they eventually looked at each other, with Sherlock still straddling John.

"How was that?" Sherlock asked, a little breathless

"That was, that was good. That was, wow." Said a slightly out of breath John

"Good."

"Yeah…and for you? How was it?"

"Oh, yeah, that was fine, just fine."

"Oh, good…good."

Silence creeped between them for a few seconds, but Sherlock broke the awkward silence

"Was that weird for you?"

"To be honest, yes it was, but.. in a good way, surprisingly. Normally, something like that would have been the bad kind of weird."

"Normal, who wants normal? Normal is boring." Sherlock scoffed

John smirked but was internally thinking 'why am I letting Sherlock still be in my lap?'

"Did, you feel anything?"

"Other than extremely awkward and embarrassed? No, nothing at all." John left out that he felt a small something but he refused to give that idea any attention.

"Did you?"

"No, sentiment disrupts my brain process. I was just wondering, since your emotional attachment is of the average person, compared to mine, which is the size od a teaspoon, or so I've been told" Sherlock wasn't being truthful as well, he left out that he felt something too, but locked up that idea.

The silence reigned again.

"We still need to go over some more stuff, to really convince people. I think we should practice George and Ash's behavior and mannerisms tomorrow, when we go shopping."

"Out in public? I don't' know."

"We'll go to a shop where nobody knows us."

"That's impossible, nearly everyone who watches the telly or reads a newspaper, knows about us."

"Then, we'll go to a shop where they don't care for idle gossip and tabloids. Goodnight John" Sherlock gave him a small good night peck on the lips and got off his lap to go to bed, but he stopped and faced Watson.

"Oh, another thing, tomorrow night, we're sharing my bed."

"Shar-sharing your bed?"

"Yeah, to prepare for the case. Sleeping with me isn't so bad, I remember being told I was a damn good shag, but don't freak out, we're just sleeping, not shagging. Night."

John sat there for a while, still trying to comprehend what the hell just happened, when a thought occurred, 'Who did Sherlock sleep with?'

Author's Note: I'm debating about finishing this, the dialogue wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. I have some ideas but I'm not sure on how I can get to it. Review if you want.