His Destiny

"Suppose the lions all get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away;
Will Time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know."
(W. H. Auden)

Since he had had a vision with the Druid, Merlin could no longer sleep in peace.

He tried. Sometimes Gaius gave him potions to sleep without dreaming, but still there were nights when Merlin woke up with chills and a cold sweat after seeing Arthur being killed by Mordred again. Morgana and Mordred were not Arthur's greatest enemies.

His biggest enemy was himself.

There were times when he wanted to reveal this secret to Arthur, to tell him what he had seen, but he knew that it was definitively a not good idea. If the king knew that he would die at Mordred's hands, he would simply accept it as his fate, and would not do anything to change it. He would walk towards the battle like a lion, fight and kill as many soldiers were necessary to protect his loved ones. And when the hour finally came, he would die with open arms, because that was dying with honor and there was no honor in escaping death. No. He should protect Arthur from the danger that Mordred posed without the King's knowledge. After all, he had done it so many times before, why would go wrong now?

The only problem was that, this time, he knew it would.

Time was Merlin's biggest enemy. He did not know when the war would be, but he knew it was coming. He could feel it in the core of his being. The chill that ran through his spine whenever he thought about it made sure that cold and dark times were to come. Winter was coming. Merlin only didn't know that the solstice had passed a long time ago.

Kilgarrah said nothing but "I've told you, young warlock" when he had asked what to do. He had said that Mordred should be killed before he could grow, as would be the Arthur's doom, and Merlin had not heard him. He had thought he could change the course of things. And now, as he thought about it, he realized he couldn't change the events. Not people's nature of their destiny. It was destiny to protect Arthur. It was Arthur's destiny to be King and bring prosperity to Albion. And it was Mordred's destiny to kill him.

He just wanted to tell Arthur everything, despite knowing that he couldn't know, just like he could never discover his gifts.

(Merlin would soon discover that destiny was cruel and unforgiving. It decided. It commanded. It played people. And it had a terrible sense of humor.)