You Can Sleep Now

a Dash Companion, fourth in the Sleep Series

for Sparklemouse
happy (late) birthday
I hope you find your way around Before and After

I stopped those ghosts outside your door, Momma,
don't worry 'bout those ghosts no more
You can sleep now, go to sleep
Tomorrow comes but it will keep
-Another Lullaby, Art Garfunkel

Kate wakes up first, like she always does, the soft filter of light through the wooden blinds attempting to touch her cheeks, paint her throat with the first lick of sunrise.

But this is not the usual morning.

She sighs softly, doesn't like the shape of the air in her lungs or the heaviness in her chest that accompanies it. Used to be that waking this early meant hot tea and her son's beautiful little face, the dark pride in his eyes and the curious and clever way he looked at the world.

But at seven years old, he wants only to watch television as long as he can and rush downstairs to shove eggs into his mouth before heading off for school. And even though kindergarten is enchanting their baby girl, her daughter has never been an early riser.

The mornings are lonely again, and usually that would be a chance for peace, and solitude, and finding the strength of her own rhythm.

But not today. Not this day.

When she turns her back on the sunlight, her eyes slowly open to the warm, solid body of her husband.

Kate curls her arms up into her chest, lightly traces her finger over her own lips, watching Castle sleep. The hair falls into his face, shading his eyes, but she can see the dark scruff along his jaw, his parted mouth. She knows every contour of that chin, has put her lips to the loose skin just there, above his neck where it meets his ear. She likes that spot where his beard won't grow, the sudden smoothness where all else is rough.

Her chapped lips are tingling with the trail of her own fingers and the sight of the man before her. Her body is heavy with the day she's been dreading ever since this day last year, when he made some offhanded comment about having been alive equal amounts on both sides of before and after. Before and After her mother's murder.

But today.

Nineteen on one.

Twenty on the other.

Kate closes her eyes and finds her breath again.

An arm slides around her shoulders gracelessly, a hot palm against the back of her neck, and she opens her eyes to find Castle sleepily blinking at her, his tongue pushed out against his lips before retreating.

"Hey," he gruffs, lets his eyes slide closed before his lashes part and he opens them again. "Kate."

"Hey."

Her slight hesitation is enough; he tugs her towards him so he can settle over her, heavy and warm, the long length of his body pressing hers down.

She sighs and wraps an arm around his neck, burrows her nose into the cave of him, lets all the wrong air out of her before taking in a small, quiet breath.

"You're gonna be okay," he mutters, half-asleep and nuzzling at her ear. "Promise."

She doesn't say anything to that, to his easy certainty or his ability to believe, but it helps, all of it helps. The weight of him anchoring her and pushing out all other thought but breathing, making it through the next fill of her lungs.

"Gotta tell me when to move," he mumbles. "Or I'll fall asleep on you."

"Okay," she says to both suggestions, feels his half-start of laughter as his arms tighten in at her sides and his body shifts down. He wriggles and she laughs at the sensation, breathless until he's draped mostly on one side of her, his head against her shoulder, his mouth at the slope of her chest.

"This is nice, yeah?" he says, fingers too graceless with sleep to be suave but trying anyway.

"It's good," she assures him, curling her arm up around his neck and stroking her fingers through the hair over his ear. She tilts her head and presses a kiss to his brow, taking a lopsided breath of him, deep as she can get it, and lets her other arm draw down his back.

"Sleep, Kate," he sighs out, already more than halfway there himself, apparently trying to hang on for her, stay with her, and it's sweet, but she might be okay now.

"I will," she promises him. "Stay like this and I will."

She feels the moment his mouth goes slack and his body releases into dreams, the weight over her somehow becomes twice as dense, deep and right, every contact between them holding her together.

She's not sure how she lived without him for all those years before-

Oh.

Twenty-eight on one.

Eleven on the other.

"Love you, Rick," she murmurs against him, too late for him to hear but not too late for him to know.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I know you said you didn't want - but the kids. Dash knew it was your birthday."

She shrugs. "I - okay. I can deal."

He sighs, lifting up on an elbow to look at her; Kate's lying on her back in their bed, practically in the same spot he fell asleep on her, but actually. . .she does look like she can deal. Better than this morning, when she was breaking his heart with that desolate darkness to her eyes.

"He also thinks it's a special birthday because it's your last year of being in the thirties."

"He does, or you do?" she murmurs, a hint of a smile flashing quickly across her face. "Wonder who gave him that idea."

"I think it was Mother, actually," he answers, tries to keep his face neutral, but she sees right through it.

"Right. Your mother would never, in a million years, rat me out. Not about my age."

"You're not old yet."

She does laugh at that, her grin cracking wide. "Hm, I deserved that."

It's only what she told him in April when it was his birthday, a good ten years older than her and startled to find himself almost fifty. Like a - like a - like her father was in his fifties when they met, and that just-

"Don't go there. I don't need your melodrama on top of my own today," she mutters, shoving on his shoulder to topple him back into the mattress. She raises up over him, her hands at his chest for balance, and gives him a quick kiss on the mouth before rolling across his torso and out of bed.

"Acrobatic in your old age," he laughs, gets a backwards swat of her hand for that, the slap against his shoulder that he catches so he can reel her in.

"Castle."

"We took today off. Come back to bed."

"But the kids-"

"Dash will be huddled in front of the television and Cricket will sleep like the dead-"

"The dead don't sleep for me."

"Fair point. She'll sleep until I wake her up. So get back here."

"I want to shower."

"And then crawl back into bed?" he insists, knowing that's not true. If she showers, they're up.

"No."

"Come on, come on, I wanna cuddle," he whines, half sitting up as she leans back against his grip, a tug of war over the bed. "You know you wanna."

"You're insatiable," she laughs, letting herself be dragged finally, tumbling back into him. Their hips bump, her elbow gets his ribs, his chin knocks into the crown of her head until he's dragging her over him and then nestling her back down in the still-warm sheets.

"I like to have you with me," he murmurs into the close space between their mouths. She's not even rolling her eyes, just grinning at him and curling her fingers at his neck, sliding her leg between his to get closer.

"I know you do, baby."

"Calling me names."

"You started it. If you can't take the heat. . ."

"Oh, I can take the Heat. I think I invented the Heat, if I'm not mistaken. The Heat and I-"

She pinches his ear with a huff and he grins back at her, smoothing his palm over her shoulder blade, reaching his fingers up into her hair. He scratches at her scalp and she hums, nuzzling just a little bit closer.

"So what are the kids doing?" she says finally, a lift of her beautiful lashes as she opens her eyes and looks at him.

"I managed to convince Dash no party."

"Oh, jeez."

"That means next year. . ."

"Fine." She says it flatly, her lips pressed tightly, but her body is too loose, too much at ease for him to even begin to think she isn't happy with that. She'll probably moan about it next year, but when it comes to it, one look at Dashiell's proud face, the way he puffs out his chest - yeah, she'll melt. She's a sucker for their son.

It's the Castle in him.

"Stop smirking," she mutters.

Her fingers are tracing lines at his jaw and he gives a quick kiss to those seeking tips, smiling around the knowledge that she's besotted, utterly, when it comes to their family. Just like he is.

"You're still smirking. It's entirely unattractive."

"Oh yeah, right," he laughs. "I swear, Kate Castle, half the arousal on either side of this thing starts right with those smirks. Mine or yours."

"Mostly mine. I get you every time."

And now she's smirking. He growls at her and shifts his knee higher, feels her cold toes dig into his calf in warning.

"Okay, so the kids wanted to plan the whole day around you - all the places you like. Know what Dash's first suggestion was?"

She's got that tender look on her face, a little adoration, a lot of sweet mess, and she tries to lift an eyebrow and act all cool, but she's totally not pulling it off.

"What?" she prompts.

"The aquarium. He said, 'Mom takes me all the time. It's her favorite.'" Castle chuckles at the horror flashing in her eyes and reassures her with a squeeze. "I talked him out of it. Reminded him that's really just one of his favorite places."

"Oh, good. I do not want to chase after both of those hellions all day at the aquarium. Dash gets lost faster than - than. . .I don't know. What gets lost really fast? My brain is gone."

He laughs harder at that, shaking with it, curling his arm up to bring her hard against him in reward for that statement - goofy, natural, adorable Kate.

"I don't know. Gilligan?" he answers finally, picturing Dash at the helm of a sail boat, blatantly unaware and deliriously joyful about it.

"Gilligan. Sure. Faster than Gilligan. Oh darn, it's kinda lost all the punch now. Too bad. That was a good one."

"We make a great team," he says, trying to be serious, but failing. Failing. She's giggling across from him, rolling her eyes at herself, and they both move at the same time - Castle on his back and Kate curling up at his side, like it was planned from the beginning.

"So if not the aquarium, then where?"

"It's a surprise, Kate."

"Oh, come on-"

"No. I made a promise I wouldn't tell. They're excited."

"Not excited enough to get up," she grumbles.

"It's not Christmas," he laughs. "Just your birthday."

"Fine. Keep your secrets. Which - you know how weird that is, right? You keeping a secret from me at all. Ever."

"Shut up."

"I'm just saying."

"Hush now. I wanna see if I can get in another hour of sleep."

"And what am I supposed to do while you sleep?"

"Watch me."

She snorts.

"Don't deny it. I've caught you before."

"Whatever."

When he falls silent though, she curls a little tighter against him, and he knows he hasn't managed to banish all the dreariness from her day. Not yet. But he thinks the kids will. He's just got to wait for them to show up.

Kate grunts awake as bodies bounce on the bed, jostling her eyes open. Ellery is grinning so wide, her hair a tangled mess just past her shoulders, but she leans over her mother and gives her a kiss on the mouth.

"Momma, it's your birthday."

"It is? Really?"

Ella giggles and falls over between Kate and Rick, wriggling as she goes. Dashiell climbs up next to his mother's head, taps her on the cheek.

"Happy birthday, Mom."

She snakes an arm around him, wrestles him down against her as well. "Thanks, baby."

Dash likes to act all cool, but he sneaks in a snuggle before writhing away from her, sliding out of the bed again. Ella curls up at her side, long-limbed and too big for cuddling like a baby, but Kate doesn't mind her daughter trying.

She kisses her still-sweaty girl, brushes the hair back off Ellery's forehead. "Hey, my girl. Ready for breakfast?"

"We already made it!"

Only then does Kate realize that with all the bodies in the bed, there's one missing. Castle.

"Oh, you did?"

"Come on, Mom," Dash says loudly, holding out his hand and beckoning her from the side of the bed. "I'm starving."

She laughs, glad to hear it - that he knows he's starving at all still feels like a miracle sometimes. Just two years ago he was dissolving into a temper tantrum because he couldn't tell his body needed food.

"Sure thing. Get this girl off me first."

Dashiell grins wickedly and dives for his sister, grabbing her by the arm and leg and yanking even as Ellery shrieks.

"Whoa, whoa," Kate mutters, wrapping her fingers around his wrists tightly. "Soft touch, wild man."

Ella scowls fiercely at him and kicks out, but Kate hooks a leg around Ellery, smothering the girl's impulse with her body.

"Guys. Seriously. Cool it."

"Hey kids. Be good," Castle calls as he comes through the doorway. "It's Mom's birthday. Can it for today at least."

Kate pushes off the mattress and lets Ella go; she clambers off the bed and follows her brother to their father's side. Dash hides behind Castle, sticks his tongue out at her as she glowers in front of Rick.

"Ella," Kate warns quietly, sliding out of bed herself.

Her daughter turns narrowed eyes to her mother but relents at the look on Kate's face. "Momma, he-"

"Don't want to hear it," Kate mutters, waving them off. "Castle."

"Come on, you hooligans. Let's get everything set up for Mom and let her shower in peace."

"I can shower first?" Kate says, lifting her lips into a smile for him.

He grins back even as he herds the kids out.

"Thank you," she calls after him. He lifts his hand and follows after the kids.

Castle's got the kids at the table eating their breakfast when Kate emerges. She looks gorgeous, and he can smell her rich scent as she passes him - musk and flowers, warm and golden skin, hair curling darkly around her face and touching her shoulders, her hips narrow in those jeans-

"Stop staring at my ass," she murmurs as she heads for the table, lifting an eyebrow at him over her shoulder.

"Stop wearing jeans like that and maybe I'd have a chance-"

She bites her lip and her smile twitches; he totally knows what that's for - I wish I could do things to you right now. Yeah, he knows that look.

He hands her a plate and she scoops eggs from the bowl on the table, moves to the croissants and hums her approval as she takes two.

Castle nudges the warm honey butter her direction, liquified over the stove - a trick of Rafe's actually - and Kate takes it too, grinning at him. She sits between the kids because they had a fight over who Mom would sit by this morning, so Castle had to set her place in the middle. Which means he's looking at everyone across the table now, but it's kinda nice.

No one spilling milk in his lap over here.

Rex chooses that moment to stick his nose into Castle's elbow, a wet and cold touch that makes him yelp in surprise.

The kids crack up, Kate smirks at him, and he turns and feeds turkey bacon to the dog.

"Castle."

"Da-ad. I wanna feed my dog, too!"

"Oops," he mutters. "One piece, Dash." He pushes Rex off of him and nudges the dog towards his son; Rex goes easily, slinking under the table and coming up at Dashiell's feet.

Dash bends over and slips him another slice, a goofy look on his face as he does. Kate sighs and shakes her head, but lets it go.

"Okay, kids, eat up. Stop dallying. We got places to go," Castle says, circling his finger around the table and pointing at each of them. When he gets to Kate, she lifts an eyebrow at him, pulling apart her croissant as she eyes him.

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah, Dad?" Ellery giggles.

"Hush your mouth," Kate says, elbowing her gently. "Only Mom gets to talk back to Dad."

Castle grins at her and they share a brief, hot look before going back to breakfast.

Rick finds Dashiell in his room getting dressed, apparently trying to decide between his black shirt with the plaid vest sewn into the front or his green t-shirt with the open dinosaur mouth.

"Go with the vest. Momma likes that one," he says, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms over his chest.

Dash flushes and shoots him a glare, but he tugs the black shirt over his head. His dark green corduroy pants pick up the green in the faux vest, make his eyes appear faintly green as well.

"Another thing Mom likes?" Castle continues.

"What." Dash says grumpily.

"Mom really likes it when you don't fight with your sister."

"But she-"

"Dash."

The kid's nostrils flare but he drops it soon enough, slumping back to his bed as he shoves into his still-tied Chucks.

"Do your best, kiddo. I'm gonna have the same talk with Ella."

Dash nods roughly, but his face is kinda stiff, that look of pouting insult that Castle has seen in his own reflection before. Not attractive, as Kate says.

So he heads over to his son and grabs him by the shoulder, jiggles him a little so that his head bobs; a huff of breath, a suppressed grunt of a giggle, and then Dash is turning a scowling face up to his father.

"Yeah, don't ruin that perfect, terrible monster face by laughing. Not now."

Dashiell's scowl deepens but he's fighting hard to cover the involuntary smile. Castle keeps jiggling him, practically knocks him off the bed, the dog wagging his tail and getting into it too, nosing into Dash's armpit and snuffling at him.

Dash finally breaks down, giggling hard as he curls away from the dog, and Castle holds him up with a hand around his upper arm, keeps him steady until he gets his balance again.

"Yeah, you totally ruined it. Spoiled now. What am I gonna do with a giggling boy? No good to me."

Dash gasps on a final laugh and runs his fingers through his dog's fur, giving Castle a long, happy look. "I can be good."

"You are good. I just want you to try not to incite a riot."

"No riots," Dash swears. "Promise, Dad."

"Thanks, my man. You're a good brother, just sometimes. . .you let her get to you."

"She gets to me good."

Castle grins at him and ruffles the kid's hair roughly, making his head tilt back. He can see the silvery scar across his forehead from that time at the beach in Texas, falling in McDonalds, and he presses his thumb against it.

Dash shrugs him off and leans over to fix the back of his shoe, dislodging Castle's memory and his hand. He leaves the kid to get ready and heads for baby girl.

Ella skips and hops down the stairs after her brother, and Kate gives her a long look until she lifts her head and catches her mother's glare, stops playing on the steps. Castle is at the closet, pulling out jackets for the kids, and Kate passes them along.

"Dashiell, how handsome," she murmurs quietly, giving him his old-man suit jacket. No wonder Castle pulled this one out of the closet. "Looking sharp." She says it quietly enough that Ellery doesn't hear - the girl would tease mercilessly. Dash gives Kate a quick puff of pride and slides his arms into his jacket and then gives his mother a hug.

Ellery drags on her purple hoodie, her ever-present striped leggings and flouncy skirt peeking out of the bottom, and she heads for the door, reaching out to grab Castle's hand. Kate holds her smile close and nudges Dashiell ahead of her as they all leave the apartment.

In the elevator, Dash lets his sister push the button - a momentous occasion - must be Kate's birthday or something. She reaches down and squeezes the back of his neck in approval; he lifts his head to look at her, and she winks at him. He flushes with pride again, such a little man.

Castle huffs a laugh and Kate slides her eyes to his as the elevator doors open on the lobby. He's shaking his head at the kids, and she reaches out to take his hand, curling her fingers around his wide palm.

Dashiell heads out ahead of them, Ellery darting around him to go first, and Dash lets her.

"Look at that," Kate says, giving her husband a secret smile.

He wriggles his eyebrows. "Birthday miracle."

"Come on, Momma. We got a ways to go." Ella skips back to them and holds out her hand, so Kate takes it, Castle on her other side, and Dash glances at the three of them, a flicker of loneliness across his face that Kate doesn't like.

But Castle is already reaching for him, gripping the back of his neck like the kid needs, pulling Dash against his side, making their son huff like he doesn't want it.

"We're all coming. Right, Dash? First stop."

"First stop," Dash says with relish.

The American Museum of Natural History is beautiful, and Castle knows she's giving him a look for it, since it's not specifically her favorite - not after so many trips with Dashiell to see the dinosaurs. But he even as they go in the main entrance off Central Park West, he leads them to the right, bypassing the museum exhibits.

"Planetarium?" she asks, squeezing his hand, a smile gracing her lips.

"Planetarium!" Ellery says explosively and skips ahead towards the planetarium's dark interior.

"Actually, hey," Kate says suddenly, tugging on his hand to hold them back. "Can we go to the Rose Center first?"

"Yeah! The big planets! Yeah, Dad," Dashiell says excitedly. Ella turns at that, her hood spinning as she waits.

Castle grins at Kate; he knows she did that on purpose. Dashiell loves the huge planets inside the Rose Center, all the glass surrounding the massive display of their solar system.

"Yeah, let's go see the big planets first."

Ellery screws up her face to protest, but Castle points his finger at her and crooks it, quelling her with a look. She decides to be happy instead of pouty, comes racing back to them holding out her hand for his.

Castle takes it, and they all head outside for the Rose Center.

Kate sits beside Dashiell in the dark planetarium, their chairs tilted up towards the massive, alive night sky. As they wait for the show to begin, Kate turns to him and ruffles his hair.

"Hey, buddy. Did you get to do this with Dad last month?"

He turns and gives her a brilliant smile, bright even in the dark. "Yeah," he breathes out. "It's awesome, Mom."

"I bet it is." She knows the planetarium, the museum itself, was definitely Dashiell's choice for her birthday because he got to do the Night at the Museum for Halloween, his own birthday. She's heard about it ever since. "You had fun, huh?"

"It was crazy awesome." He turns his head back to the digital sky above them. "The mastodons and the huge planets and that whale. . .whoa. It's so massive and it hangs right over your head."

"I saw pictures on Dad's phone. Looked like a fun birthday."

"Yeah. That's why I knew you'd like it here."

She presses her lips together to keep from smiling too wide, reaches out to stroke her thumb over his temple, through his thick hair. The edges are curling at his neck, behind his ear, no matter how short they cut it.

Then the planetarium's nightsky illuminates with a soft glow, and the show begins to start. Dash ducks away from her touch, so she turns in her seat and looks back at the universe. The stars spread out before her, glittering pinpoints of light, and it's so much, so overwhelming that she has to lift her head and glance down the row at the rest of her family. Ella is sitting on Castle's lap, her fingers laced with his over her torso, and Castle chooses that moment to look over at her as well.

Their eyes meet and he shrugs, but she smiles and drapes her arm over the back of Dash's seat, rubs the edge of Castle's shoulder. He ducks his head to kiss her knuckles and she flexes her fingers, curls them at his jaw, rubs her thumb over his lips.

This is a good day.

This is just what she needed.