A/N: Birthday fic extension for Zoro. Revised edition. Nonsensical. Totally ambiguous. Thank you for putting up with this shit.

\m/

"I don't want you talking to that Trafalgar Law, you hear me?"

Strained baritone voice bounced off the marbled wall of a four-meter by three-meter closed space. Rays of the young sun forced their way through slits of glass down to his aroused body. After five and a half hand-pumpings, thick spurts of white sticky substance squirted out of his morning hard-on, simultaneously uttering the subject of his frustration, "Luffy."

A minute and twenty-four seconds later in the same venue…

"Fuck!" he muttered under his breath once his heartbeat and respirations even out. "Fuck." he repeated with less strain as he slid down to the cold, unloving, unresponsive floor. Like a metaphor to the subject of his affection.

He ran his hand through his hair, slightly pulling green strands as he watched the water droplets combine with his white guilty pleasure.

"I'm sorry, Luffy." he apologized to the bathroom's dead air.

Roronoa Zoro had never been this emotionally and sexually defeated in his entire life. Every day, he survived, and barely at that, through jerking off over someone who merely loved adventure, food and 'mysterious' things. He highly doubted if the other man even knew the things called love, lust or just intimate relationships in the least. Monkey D. Luffy, his roommate for a year, his friend for two years, the love of his life for three years, had been oblivious of his hardcore adoration.

Too sappy. Zoro wanted to punch himself for being like this. He didn't believe in 'love at first sight' for in order to love, one took his time to build a stronghold of emotions based on proper principles and not just from a relationship short-cut like 'I saw you yesterday, I love you today, I'll marry you tomorrow' sort of things.

Zoro didn't have any idea why he felt that way for Luffy. As he went down memory lane, three years ago, he first saw Luffy in the younger man's trademark red sleeveless shirt, short trousers and a straw hat, fighting two people twice his size, with an accurate danger on his hat-brimmed eyes and a smirk that was pure if not innocent. When Luffy threw his punches like bullets from a Gatling gun and knocked down the two hooligans with a final blow, Zoro knew that he was done. Luffy was gonna be haunting his dreams forever. All types of his dreams, to make matters worse.

It took a year for Zoro to befriend Luffy. A year of stalking, in which he discovered Luffy's favorite food, color, shape, animal, vital stats and whatnot; of research, in which he found out that they went to the same university; of stolen glances, in which he noticed how Luffy's lips parted when he talked, how his pupils dilated when he was amazed, how Luffy's hair flew through the wind, and he could continue describing everything down to the last drop of his memory stick; of subterfuging with Luffy's friends, in which he didn't get anything because Luffy's friends were such jerks; of ogling behind dark shades, in which he swooned to the sight of Luffy in black and white; of fantasizing when he was alone, in which he had the guilty pleasure. A year of everything before bottling up his courage to talk to the man who had taken over his life.

Turned out, Luffy was approachable. Zoro found himself talking in a natural tone like he and Luffy were natural born twins. They seemed to have a connected brain and were capable of mental telepathy in different intensities of great need, ranging from what-movies-to-watch-on-a-boring-Saturday-night to what-combo-attack-to-execute-to-knock-down-random-opponents.

Luffy became Zoro's roommate during the younger man's first year in high school due to his brother's departure for apprenticeship. And in which, Zoro celebrated for a month.

Zoro was a college freshman and worked for a part-time job right after class. When he got home, he found Luffy preparing their dinner, then Zoro's heart leapt out of his ribcage, dropped on the floor and quivered like a fish in land. He felt like they were already in a cohabitation type of relationship, a married couple minus the legal blessing. Now that the presidential election decided for a democratic country where same sex marriage was to be legalized, Zoro started to hunt his courage, determination and willpower, little by little, to ask for the younger man's heart. Figuratively. He had the enthusiasm of a hungry rabid dog kept in a cell for several years heading to its dinner hall as he thought about this scheme.

That was, before Trafalgar Law appeared in the scene. That conniving bastard—

Loud determined knocks on the bathroom door interrupted Zoro's agonizing subconscious journey to the past.

"Yeah?" with a casual tone, he answered.

"We're running late. What takes you so long in there?" came the muffled voice through an inch wooden barrier.

Zoro panicked and his adrenaline shot up. He dried himself and pulled on his black shirt and faded jeans.

Opening the bathroom door, he saw that Luffy was already dressed and was ready to leave. He grabbed a sandwich and followed Luffy outside.

Zoro was a freshman criminology student while Luffy was on his junior year. They went to school together, took lunch together as much as possible and went home together as well. So one random day, when Luffy had appeared while holding hands with a biology major student, namely, Trafalgar fucking Law, Zoro had mourned for sixty days.

Unfortunately for Zoro, Luffy didn't notice the older man's tantrums, depressive aura and murderous intent towards Trafalgar Law. The three of them continued to hang out together, much to Zoro's chagrin. Luffy always insisted on picking up Law in his own dormitory so they could go to school together, always dragged Law to eat lunch with them, to go home with them, even to spend Saturday nights in his and Luffy's dormitory.

Zoro endured the pain, the agony, and every salt to his wounds. He needed to be with Luffy despite the eyesore that was Trafalgar Law. He needed to watch over Luffy before that conniving bastard did something… illegal outside the confines of marriage and without consent from the person involved. Luffy was strong and could protect himself from everything but Zoro needed to play his role as a jealous roommate.

After two months multiplied by two, Zoro finally got over the heartbreak of seeing Luffy holding, hugging, talking, looking and (insert all conservative verbs here) with Trafalgar Law. He finally decided to act normal in front of Luffy but a sudden news that could crush a sinner's heart surfaced from Luffy's mouth.

"Law confessed his love for me." Luffy uttered like he merely gave objective observation on a Sequoia tree.

To say that Zoro was heartbroken, disappointed, shocked and chagrined was a grave understatement.

He was going to the state of lunacy. He was starting to become a fucking lunatic.

Lunatic, in fact, that he felt his soul leave his body and his mind separated to three. He wasn't an expert in psychiatric conditions but these sensations felt like he was suffering from a dissociative condition that his mind couldn't muster. Whether he was consciously aware of it or not was unknown. His subconscious defense mechanisms protected him from recognizing all full effects of this horrific traumatic event by allowing his mind to forget and move itself from this painful memory, thus dissociation.

"Videbeck is gonna kick your ass." One disunited personality whispered to Zoro's ear.

"I don't claim this information as my own."

"Well, put a disclaimer on it."

"Alright, all conditions here are based on my memory's photography of my lessons in one of my subjects. I don't know if they're accurate and I certainly don't own them." Zoro faithfully recited.

"Fair enough, but still rude. Well, that should do. Move on now."

"Okay." He answered.

In which, Zoro moved on and his story continued.

Luffy didn't think about this confession a lot though. He still acted the same way in front of them, the same carefree, cheerful attitude with a tinge of childishness and gourmet—

Zoro was once again cut down from his sidetrip to the past…

"Hey Roronoa-ya." Law greeted the green-haired man in his usual sexy-ass smirk, a definition brought to life by Law's fangirls, though to Zoro's opinion, it was just one upturned pair of ordinary lips.

A sudden realization hit Zoro's senses. Maybe, one of the reasons why he hated Law so much, other than of course the major, stand-alone, gargantuan reason which was stealing Luffy from him, was because they were both swordsmen. Birds of the same feather flocked together but thieves loathed their fellow thieves, didn't they? The former dealt with the physical aspect and the latter dealt with the mental one, but to Zoro, they were just the same figure in logic. He didn't know and he didn't care. It was just a random unnerving thought that he needed to voice out. Or type out.

With glaring eyes and a churning jealousy in his chest, Zoro watched as Law threw his arms around Luffy's shoulder. And the damn oblivious Luffy just laughed at the damn bastard while that gesture was screaming "Malicious Molest!" in bold kaleidoscopic letters. At least, to Zoro's assessment.

"Bye Zoro! See ya at lunch!" Luffy's sweet voice cut him off mid-thought. Time flew so fast, Zoro wasn't in any way aware that they had already entered the un-lax grounds of the university. Law winked at him which he quickly returned with an eyebrow raised in a speculative manner. He watched the two raven haired men stroll side by side on the paved pathwalk.

Zoro sighed and closed his eyes. He had decided. He was going to confess to Luffy. No backing off. No excuses. No tails between legs. No fear.

Though the last sentence wasn't an advertisement for a certain brand of gears.

He was gonna do it if he wanted to be with Luffy. All for Luffy, the love of his life.

Ten thousand seconds later…

"What are you saying?" Puzzlement was evident in Luffy's tone. "I thought you already know!"

"What?" Zoro's heart did the jumpy thing. "What do I know?"

That I and Law are boyfriends now!

Zoro prepared himself for answers congruent to this thought. He didn't need to break down in front of Luffy in times of emotional shit like this. Yeah. It would hurt but he would move on, probably after he died but whatever. At least he had moved on, even in afterlife. He would respect Luffy's decision. The younger man could choose whoever he wanted as a lover just fine.

Zoro was not gonna cry. But that was a lie.

"That I like you too, Zoro!" with a sunny grin, Luffy laid it out open in broad daylight, as bright as 500 megawatts, as clear as the fresh air.

Shit. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy motherfucking shit.

"What about Law?" Instead of doing a surprise reaction, a double-take, or a monologue of his pitiful feelings like most characters usually did, Zoro asked the most insignificant question in his entire life. And it involved the person he fucking detested, to top that.

"What about him? He's just a friend to me. I already told him that and he knows that I like you."

"He knows that you like me?" Zoro felt like a parrot.

"Yeah. When he confessed to me, I turned him down and said that I like you." Luffy paused and seemed to collect his memory.

"That asshole." Zoro whispered, careful not to be heard by the younger man. When Zoro thought about it, Law started to become so touchy-feely, clingy huggy spider to Luffy after the bastard's confession. The bastard also started to give him meaningful devious glances like saying I-and-Luffy-just-had-sex-in-your-bedroom kind of glances.

Luffy interrupted his thoughts.

"Then I asked him for an advice, he said that maybe you feel the same for me and I didn't believe that because you're stupid and you're so cold to me. I asked him why he thought about that and he said because you're always looking at him like he's raping your swords in front of your eyes when I come so close to him."

Well, it's way more than that, Zoro thought.

Luffy continued and ignored Zoro's mental script. "And then I pondered about it and I assumed that maybe you knew my feelings for you because I'm always happy with you and I'm obvious with my actions. So… yeah. That's that."

Zoro smiled.

"This better be not a fucking dream."