Chapter One

Lily Evans was the only student in the library. She sat at a secluded back table, by the windows overlooking the snow-covered school grounds. If she looked through the old, warped glass, she could see the lake and the Quidditch pitch, the beginnings of the Forbidden Forest off to the right and the sloping hills that hid the castle from view. But, she wasn't looking out the window, instead she had her nose buried between the pages of a book, a long scroll of half-full parchment in front of her and a quill poised in the fingers of her right hand.

If it had been in the middle of exam season, or the beginning of term, Lily would have expected the large oval room to be full to capacity, but because it was the first day of Christmas holidays, she wasn't surprised at the lack of students. Her father was vacationing in Paris over Christmas and Lily had decided she didn't want to burden him with the cost of another traveller. He insisted that he had planned for her to come along, but she didn't feel right about it, especially because he hadn't had a private trip since her mother died when she was eleven.

Lily crossed several t's and dotted her i's, then dropped her quill into the pot of ink. She sighed heavily, falling back in her chair and letting her head fall back, her hair tumbling down the back of the chair. She let her mind wander away from her essay on werewolves and animagi, instead thinking of drinking a warm Butterbeer down in the Three Broomsticks with a thick book that had nothing to do with school.

Lily leaned forwards and pulled the essay towards her, gingerly rolling it up. She screwed the top onto the ink bottle and dropped it, her essay and the quill down into the depths of her bag. Shoving her chair back, she stood and moved around the table to where her little corner opened up the main section of the library. The elderly, severe looking librarian glared at her as she moved swiftly for the door, bursting out into the empty corridor and spinning on her heel. Her hair twirled out on either side of her face and she let out a young, girlish giggle, heading for the Gryffindor common room.

She was expecting it to be deserted and was more than a little bit disappointed when she scrambled through the portrait hole to find three boys lounging in front of the roaring fire. Two of the boys she could tolerate, even call friends. The last boy however, she was openly and intensely undecided about. She didn't hate him, even though she was often seen screaming at his smirking figure,but she didn't adore him, that much was easy enough to decipher.

They all looked up when she entered, each showing various- albeit predictable- responses. Remus Lupin simply smiled at her, lifting his hand in a wave while Sirius Black clicked his tongue and said, "Lookie who it is, Prongsie." James Potter smiled his arrogant half-smile at her and said, "Hey, Evans. Now, why don't you look happy to see me?"

"Oh, shove off, Potter," Lily sneered in his direction, more than a little annoyed that they had interrupted her would-be peaceful afternoon. Alone. In the common room. And her favourite seat was the exact chair James was lounging in, his tailbone precariously close to the edge, his long legs stretched out in front of him, his knees spread.

"Ooh, grouchy," Sirius teased, his eyes lighting up, "Come and sit with us, Evans, we're about to play some Exploding Snap."

"Not my favourite if you remember, Black." Lily sent him a glare, too, effectively reminding the boys about an instance when one card caught fire. It would have burnt right through Lily's school blouse if James hadn't thrown his goblet of pumpkin juice all over her. She appreciated him attempting to save her from a few nasty burns, but the white shirt had gone immediately translucent, showing off the only mildly "sexy" bra she owned.

"Do you still wear that bra?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows in the redhead's direction, only to receive a sharp blow to the back of his head, "Oi! What the hell, mate?"

"There's a difference between teasing and being an ass, Padfoot." James scolded, then flicked his eyes up to Lily, "Do you, though?"

Lily let out an exasperated groan, crossing the common room and ascending the staircase that led to the girl's dormitory. She pushed open the door, revealing the extremely empty room where she slept. Marlene, Mary, Alice and Hestia had all gone home for the holidays, taking the majority of their things with them. The beds were made and no clothing littered the floor, there were no hairbrushes or bags of makeup covering bedside tables and the trunks from the ends of their beds were gone. They had been gone when Lily had woken up earlier that morning, all of them leaving good-bye notes on their pillows, and promises to write.

Lily dropped her bag on her bed, then moved down to her trunk. She shoved open the lid and bent down, digging through it until she found her thick Gryffindor scarf. She wrapped it around her neck, pulling her hair from where it stuck to her neck and then tugged her black wool coat from underneath a pile of school robes. She tugged it on, over her long sleeved black shirt and then snatched her tall boots from underneath the bed.

She sat down, pulling off her flat soled school shoes and tugging the boots up to where they clung to her calves. She stood, grabbing her small coin purse, copy of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and heading out the door, back down the stairs to the common room. She heard the sounds of Exploding Snap before she even reached the room, but it was just her luck that one card would, indeed, explode, when she entered it.

She shrieked as a flaming card ricocheted off of Remus' chest and flung towards her face. She ducked, letting it hit the wall behind her and drop to the ground, where it continued to sizzle and spark. She pulled her wand from the pocket of her jeans and pointed it at the offending projectile, officially silencing it.

"Where are you headed, Lily?" Remus asked, getting up from his spot on the couch to retrieve the fallen card.

"Hogsmeade," She answered, "Butterbeer."

"Ah," Sirius chuckled, "Going to get wasted? Can I come?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at the boy across the room, who simply continued to roar with laughter, "No. You can't."

"Ignore him," Remus fake whispered, "He's being especially annoying tonight." He glanced down at her book, "What's that?"

"Pride and Prejudice," She answered, holding it up so he could see the cover, "Muggle book."

"I know," He said, "I think my mum's read it. Good?"

Lily shrugged, "A bit sappy, but it's alright. Alice insisted I read it."

"If you're done talking romance novels..." James called from his chair, Lily's chair.

"Shut up, Potter," Lily snapped, then turned to Remus, "Well, I'm off. See you later, Remus." She moved around him, nodding to the other two Marauders, "Boys."

"Evans." James returned the nod, a smile forming on his face as he watched her head for the portrait hole.

"Sticky eyes, Potter?" Lily taunted, lifting an eyebrow and climbing out into the corridor. As the door swung shut again she heard him yell, "Only for you, Evans!"

She rolled her eyes, forever confused and annoyed and all around bothered by James Potter, with his always messy hair and deep voice, that insufferably cocky grin and the comments that were both incessantly suggestive but slightly needy.

The trip from her common room to the main entrance was a short one, and soon she was through the doors and heading down the snowy, cold path to Hogsmeade. The closer she got to the village, the busier the road became. It was no longer a solitary walk, the path was now filled with witches and wizards, young and old, moving to or from the village. She was nearly knocked over by a very drunk man who then yelled loudly in her face. She had to dodge a tiny witch carrying a mountain of boxes and nearly stepped on a black cat carrying a package on its back.

Only when the herd of people thinned and she was the only person travelling towards town did she feel the eyes boring holes in her back. She stopped, looking back over her shoulder only to find that no one was there. She shook her head sharply, continuing on, passing the directional sign that pointed newcomers to the castle, Hogsmeade and another neighbouring town.

She stopped again, not able to shake the feeling that someone was watching her. She decided to ignore it, clutching her book to her chest and crossing the snow covered street. She shouldered open the heavy wooden door and stepped into the warmth of the Three Broomsticks.

Lily deftly made her way across the crowded pub, sliding into a corner booth and pulling her jacket off. She unwound her scarf from around her neck and shoved it against the wall, leaning back and opening her book.

Suddenly, a shadow was cast over her table and Lily looked up, only to find that James Potter was standing across from her, his invisibility cloak draped over one arm, his hair mussed and his winter jacket hanging open.

"You followed me, didn't you?" Lily snapped, remembering the non-existent eyes at her back.

James smirked and dragged a chair to the other side of the table, spinning it around and straddling it. He yanked off his coat and dropped both it and the cloak down onto the floor by his feet. He left his scarf on, hanging loosely around his neck, the ends touching his knees.

"You're a fast walker, Evans," He laughed, "I almost lost you a couple of times, but grabbed your coat."

"Of course you did," Lily narrowed her eyes at him, but couldn't hold the glare for long. She broke her composure by smiling at him, "What can I do for you, Potter?"

"Well, you could buy me a Butterbeer," He said, "Or maybe a treacle tart?"

"You're the rich boy," Lily reminded him, "Shouldn't you be buying me hot beverages and pastries?"

"Touche," James pointed one long finger at her, then raised his hand at the bartender, "Butterbeer and treacle tart?"

"How many, Potter?" The busty woman yelled back, reaching for the large glasses.

"Two of both, please," James turned back to Lily, smirking, "Better?"

"Much," Lily allowed herself a wisp of a laugh, "So, why the need to follow me?"

James shrugged, "A lot of stuff has been going down here lately, no one should be alone." He glanced away, running one hand through his hair and tugging absently on a stubborn lock at the back of his head, the one that always stood straight up.

"What stuff?" Lily asked, snapping her book shut and setting it on her lap. She leaned forwards, placing her forearms on the tabletop and winding her fingers together.

He looked back at her, "You haven't heard? About the deaths, those marks left everywhere?"

"What?" Lily breathed, "Deaths? I haven't... I haven't heard anything."

"There have been five deaths in the past week," James told her, "All Muggle-borns. All in the middle of the night." He paused and glanced behind his shoulder, "They think it's Death Eaters."

"Death Eaters?" Lily asked, incredulous, "They're not real. It's all rubbish, isn't it?"

James shrugged, "I don't know anymore," He pulled at his hair again, "Whoever it is they leave marks hovering in the sky above the houses they attack. A skull with a wriggling snake emerging from its mouth."

"Oh my God," Lily said, looking down at the table, "That's awful, why isn't there anything about it in the papers?"

"The Minister wants to hush it all up," James told her, "I only know because my Dad told me. Sent me a letter saying that I wasn't to go into Hogsmeade alone." She glanced up at him as he continued, "That's why, when you said you were leaving, I had to follow. Don't want you getting hurt." He smirked at her then, "Who else would I ogle during classes?"

Lily rolled her eyes, scoffing, but couldn't keep from letting out a giggle, "You're impossible. One minute I want to deck you, the next we're having an intelligent conversation and then you ruin it by being a typical teenage boy."

"What do you want me to be?" He asked, "A typical middle-aged man?"

"How about a typical teenage boy with some self-control?" Lily suggested, glancing over his shoulder as a tall, wiry boy manoeuvred around the table across from theirs, holding a tray of food and drinks.

"No such thing," James teased as the man bent down to place two hot mugs of Butterbeer in front of them, followed by two plates filled with treacle tart.

Lily pulled one steaming mug towards her and smiled over the mountain of whipped cream at James, "Thanks."

James nodded, "You insisted." He dipped his finger into the top of his Butterbeer, stirring the whipped cream in with the frothy drink, "So, can I officially tell everyone we went on a date?"

Lily's eyes narrowed again, "No. You can tell everyone that you followed me like a creep and forced me to have Butterbeer with you."

"You didn't seem too upset when I agreed to pay," James smirked, sucking the drops of liquid off of his finger.

Lily laughed then, shaking her head, "Not a date, Potter. Not even close."

"How is this not a date?" He protested, "We're two people who are clearly interested in each other, sharing hot beverages, eating pastries and having intelligent conversation."

Lily raised an eyebrow, "'Clearly interested in each other?'"

James nodded, "Even if you won't come out and say you like me, it's obvious I perplex you."

"You confuse the hell out me," Lily snapped, "You're rude and arrogant and completely stupid." James' eyebrows drew together and he dropped his gaze to his plate of treacle tarts, "But you can also be sweet and kind and you're very smart." He look up again, a smile covering his face. It wasn't a typical James smile, either, it was wide and stretched from ear to ear. It wasn't cocky or smug, it was radiant and made him look like a child.

"That's better than nothing," He joked, "So, you don't hate me anymore?"

"I never... hated you," Lily said slowly, "You annoyed me. You... made me angrier than I've ever been. But, I wouldn't say I hated you. I had an extreme dislike for you, but it's since dissolved into mere..." She trailed off, unsure of what to say, "I don't know how I feel about you."

James smiled and pulled a tart from the plate and promptly shoved the entire thing into his mouth. He looked at Lily with wide eyes and lifted both hands, giving her a thumbs up. She rolled her eyes, covering her mouth with her hand and beginning to laugh. She watched as he struggled to chew and swallow, but when he had managed it she said, "You're disgusting."

"You love it," He chuckled, taking a swig of his Butterbeer, "So, Evans, why're you here on holidays?"

"My dad's in Paris," Lily answered, pulling a tart towards her and breaking off a piece, "I didn't want to butt in on his vacation and decided to stay here."

"But, I mean, you've got a sister, right?" James asked, "Doesn't she want to see you?"

"Tuney wants nothing to do with me," Lily sighed heavily, remembering the mid-summer screaming match that had ensued when Petunia's very Muggle boyfriend visited.

"Why?"James asked, "What would make someone push away their only sibling?"

"It's a long story I'd rather not tell at the moment," Lily answered, "Sorry."

"S'alright," He paused, "So, you really haven't heard anything about the murders?"

And in that moment, Lily could have kissed him. James Potter had a reputation for being nosey and painfully curious when it came to her personal life and she could almost hear him struggling to not ask. But, he didn't, and he also effectively changed the subject.

Lily smiled at the table and then looked up at him, "No. They were all just found dead? With those marks hanging above their houses?"

James nodded, "Yeah, that's not even the weird bit though," He leaned across the table at her, "All of the physical evidence points to wizards and witches who are long dead."

"What?" Lily asked, "Dead people can't commit murder."

"That's what the Ministry is saying," James agreed, taking another long sip of his Butterbeer, "They can't figure it out. No one can."

"Are people using Polyjuice maybe?" Lily suggested, "Turning themselves into dead wizards and then leaving fingerprints everywhere to throw the Aurors off their trail?"

James shrugged, "It's possible, but there's no sign of disturbance or digging at their grave sites."

Lily stared down into her now half empty cup of Butterbeer, "They do think it's Death Eaters, then?"

James nodded, "Because of the marks. I mean, it's their symbol."

Lily shook her head, "But, I mean, they've never really done anything. They're just talk aren't they? Some stupid group trying to scare people?"

"No one's really sure anymore," James told her, "I mean, anyone that's claimed to be a Death Eater when brought into the Ministry, has those marks on their arms. They say it calls the Dark Lord to them."

Lily let out a long breath, "The Dark Lord, isn't he just some young guy? How could he rally up that many followers?"

"I don't know," James admitted, "No one really does, but he's getting stronger. Apparently there are thousands of Death Eaters, all around the world."

Lily stared at her glass, only to see that frost was forming on it, creeping down the edges and onto the table. She wrapped her arms around herself, goosebumps erupting up her arms and across her chest.

"Oh God," She heard James say and looked up to see him shivering as hard as she was, "Dementors."

"That explains the hollow feeling in my chest," Lily said weakly, trying to ignore the aching despair that threatened to swallow her whole. Suddenly, she could only think of Petunia screaming in her face, telling her that she was a freak, that no one would ever love her.

She shook her head, reaching back and pulling her wand from her coat pocket. She clutched it, jumping slightly as the bells above the Three Broomsticks door rang. She looked over, only to see a whole hoard of dark, cloaked figures gliding into the pub.

She jumped to her feet, as did James and a handful of other people. They all raised their wands, cautious as the creatures swept past, clearly on a mission for something. When they reached James and Lily's table they stopped, turning and staring blankly at them from underneath the hoods. Lily was glad that she couldn't see through the blackness beneath the fabric, not wanting to witness the horror that surely lay within.

Two of them turned and hovered over James, hissing and gasping. James' wand hand began to shake, and with the other he gripped the back of his chair, his legs bending as if he was about to fall.

"You have no business with him," Lily said, her voice surprisingly strong. She raised her wand, focusing on childhood memories at her lake house, of Marlene and Alice spilling Firewhiskey on their bedspreads, of her father lifting her onto his shoulders, "Expecto Patronum." Her voice was quiet, but she didn't need to shout. Immediately wisps of white burst from the tip of her wand, forming into a glowing, ethereal doe. It charged, gracefully leaping over the table and slamming its small body into the closest Dementor.

The creatures started to shriek and wail, backing up towards the door. She heard several other shouts and soon a roaring lion, a rearing stallion and a cooing dove joined her doe in sending the Dementors packing. When they were gone, she looked to James, who was huddled in his chair, gasping for breath. He was pale and sweaty, his wand lying forgotten on the table.

Lily hurried around to him, bending in front of him and catching his face in her hands, "James?"

His eyes were unfocused, but when she called his name they snapped to hers, "Lily. Lily, you're patronus is a doe."

She just stared at him for a moment, "Yes, but-" She stopped, shaking her head, "Are you alright?"

He nodded slowly, reaching out a hand and smoothing her hair from her face, "Thanks, Evans."

"You're welcome," She answered, letting him go and quickly standing. She looked to barmaid, "Chocolate?"

With a monotone expression the woman nodded, "For everyone, I think."

"Why were they even here?" Lily asked, looking around at the other shivering patrons.

"Looking for Death Eaters I expect," Said a bright looking young man, "What with all the murders."

"That's a load of rubbish!" A plump woman roared from the other end of the room, "It's not bloody Death Eaters. They're nothin' to worry 'bout!" An argument soon broke out and Lily quickly back into her seat, not wanting to get in the middle.

Soon, everyone was warm again, sipping fresh Butterbeer and hungrily devouring whole bars of Honeydukes chocolate. James stared at her, watching intently and taking small bites of his own bar.

"What?" Lily asked, after a few silent moments between them.

"Your patronus is a doe," He sighed, "A doe."

Lily rolled her eyes, "So you've said. What does it matter?"

James just shook his head, muttering, "A doe!" to himself.

When she had finished both her Butterbeer and her chocolate, Lily stood, winding her scarf around her neck as she did so, "I'm off, James."

He looked up, "Not waiting for me?"

Lily laughed, pulling on her coat, "I figured you'd stay here and get properly drunk."

James actually looked surprised, his eyebrows disappearing under his messy hair, "No, I had no plans to. Why would you think that?"

"You just seem like the type of person who doesn't like to properly deal with things," Lily told him, "I figured you'd get wasted, forget about the Dementors and then stumble back into the castle tomorrow morning."

James shook his head, "I only have plans to eat more than I should at the feast and sleep for twenty four hours." He followed her example by standing and putting on his jacket, "Mind if I walk up with you?"

She shrugged, "You're either going to walk with me or," She pointed to the invisibility cloak now draped over his arm, "Follow me in that. At least if you're walking with me I'll have someone to talk to."

He led the way to the door, after leaving a few Galleons on the table. He held it open for her and she smiled at him, "Thanks."

"I am a gentleman, you know," He told her as they pushed out into the street, heading back towards the castle.

"Of course you are," Lily rolled her eyes at him, "You are the king of all gentlemen."

"Is that sarcasm I hear?" James joked as they began climbing the hill towards the near empty path to Hogwarts, "Are you doubting my gentleman status?"

"I'm always judging your gentleman status, Potter," Lily shook her head, "Sirius has more manners than you do sometimes."

James fake-gasped, "You take that back!"

Lily tipped back her head, laughing, "Never. Besides, when have you ever been a gentleman in the public eye?"

"Um," James paused, "I just held the door open for you..." He trailed off, running his hand back through his hair.

"That doesn't count," Lily answered, "Any other time than that. It doesn't even have to be to me. Name three times you were a gentleman where everyone could see you."

She dodged around a petite witch carrying several shiny handbags and then they were alone, the only ones headed up to the school.

"I don't know," James muttered, "So what if I'm not a 'public' gentleman? Maybe I really am the king of... gentlemanliness, but in private."

"Gentlemanliness isn't a word, Potter," Lily reminded him, turning and peering up at him through her wall of red hair. The wind was picking it up and spreading it everywhere, across her shoulders, in front of her eyes, it was even trailing behind her like some sort of kite.

"Regardless," James protested, "Why do things have to be public to mean something?"

"They don't," Lily said, "It's just, when you only do things in secret, people start to think you're embarrassed of a certain trait or just don't possess it."

"You really think I'm rude?" James asked, "Just because I don't rush to open doors or pull out chairs?"

"I never said that," Lily groaned, "I'm just saying that you've never been a consistently nice guy. You seem to think that no one will respect you unless you're teasing first years or making fun of someone. When you're not doing that you're strutting about as if you're God's gift to women, and on the off occasions that you're not doing either of those things, you're a nice guy."

"I'm always nice to you!" James insisted, "I'm always, always nice to you."

Lily sighed, pushing her hair away from her eyes and stopping. He stopped too, towering over her, stooping slightly so he could look her in the face.

"Sure," Lily shrugged, "Only because you want to shag me!"

"That's not the reason!" He snapped back, "You're nice to everyone, Lily. It's only fair that I'm nice to you."

Lily sighed heavily, "That shouldn't be your reasoning for being nice to someone! You should be nice to people because it's right! It's not fair to wander about, being rude to people who've done nothing to you. Making fun of first years just because they're not as confident as you are!"

"You're no saint!" He sneered, "You think you're so perfect! Telling me how to act and what I should and shouldn't say! You and your friends, you're like some sort of elite club! And, whenever someone else wants to join, they're put on a lower rung than the originals!"

"You're one to talk!" Lily shouted, pushing him away, out of her personal bubble, "Says the ringleader of a little group that doesn't even make other friends!" She threw her hands up, "You know what, Potter? This is why I always reject you! Because you're insufferable!" She spun on her heel, stalking up towards the castle and not turning back. She pushed through the front doors, not bothering to shake any snow off of herself at all, simply taking a sharp turn and going straight to the common room.

She snapped the password at the Fat Lady and the painting didn't even respond, merely swung open, muttering to herself. Lily stepped through, her hands balled into fists and her teeth pressed together dangerously hard.

"Hey there, Red!" Sirius called as she walked in, "How was-"

Lily whipped her wand from her pocket, cutting Black off and standing in front of where he sat on the couch. She pointed the tip in his face, "Say one more word and I'll hex you into next week. Then, I'll jinx your balls off, got it?"

Wordlessly, Sirius nodded, his eyes wide and his hands gripping the cushion underneath him. She turned, moving around Remus, who was standing there with his hands up in a show of surrender.

She nearly ran up the stairs, slamming her dormitory door shut behind her and screaming. She threw her wand onto her bed and tore off her jacket and scarf. She left them on the floor and dropped down onto her bed. She buried her face in her pillow, screaming as loud as she could and pulling at her hair.

Lily spent the next while just lying in her bed, staring angrily up at the ceiling. When time for dinner did come she didn't even bother getting out of bed. Even when Remus knocked on her door, insisting that she needed to eat something. She had the urge to yell at him through the wood, but she knew that Remus wasn't Potter, he was just trying to make sure she didn't die of starvation.

Eventually he gave up and went back downstairs and Lily remained in her bed, mulling over what James had said. He was wrong, she didn't think she was perfect and she knew she wasn't a saint. She didn't think that she and her friends were exclusive though. Sure, sometimes Marlene could be snarky with new people, but they never denied someone access to their table or shunned someone they didn't necessarily know.

She rolled over, reaching down to where her bag lay on the floor and pulling out her watch. It was almost nine o'clock and she still hadn't eaten anything. With a heavy sigh she pulled herself out of bed and and went to the door. She opened it slowly, listening carefully to try and see if anyone was downstairs.

She heard laughter and knew immediately that the boys were still dominating the space. She clenched her teeth and moved into the hallway, a coward she was not. This will be easy, she told herself, I'll just walk past and ignore him. I'll tell him off if he speaks to me. Easy peasey. C'mon, Evans, it's only Potter. Only stupid, bloody Potter.