Oh America, how you've changed. The land that used to be the greatest of all is now overflowing with undead, walking corpses with some serious munchies.

Ever since patient zero went to the zoo and got bit by a raging monkey, everything has been pretty much downhill.

Everything had been so different since I left Atlanta. Now I was possibly the only one left in this fucked up, masochistic world that it had become. Let me begin by saying that there are two sides to every story, so instead of just telling you from the rest of the world's view, let me tell you my story. The better one. The real one.

See that girl down there? Yup, that's me. Just trying to find myself some medical supplies before the zombies decide that nap time's over. So far I've been to fifteen cities trying to find myself some other survivors, or at the very least something that isn't destroyed by the walkers. So far I've failed on both counts.

Last time I saw a human being was when my mother, stepfather and sister went missing… well sort of. That was six months ago when I was on my way to Juvenile hall for some… well, let's just say difficulties. You see, my mom and dad were no longer married, so I decided to stay with my mother and her new husband Clint.

Clint was what you would call a… how do I put this delicately? He was a drunk with a serious anger management problem. At first he was the perfect dad, taking us on fishing trips and to the cinema. He was a great dad. Until his son died in Iraq five years ago. That's when things really started going downhill for my family. After the first time that he hit mom, I started losing trust in people. All except for my mother and my sister that was.

I might seem like an unlikely survivor with all of my phobias and behavioral issues, but the truth is that I had an advantage. I had the advantage of never really fitting into this world and I treated people like they were zombies even before they were. Without friends or a family to weigh you down, the possibility of surviving was high.

That brings me to rule #1 of surviving the United States of Zombieland. Don't trust anyone. When the virus first struck, people trusted and relied on each other to get out of the mess alive. But what they didn't realized was that one little lie could ruin everyone's life. Take this girl from my block for example. She was bit, didn't tell the others and ended up chewing on people's faces before they could ask themselves what the fuck was going on. Pretty dramatic if you ask me, then again… she already was a drama queen. I guess things never really change after all.

I had always been alone and now that I was literally the only one here, I realized how much I missed seeing people that didn't have intestines stuck in their teeth and missing body parts.

"Fucking finally. Some bandages. I've been looking all over for you. Do you happen to have some friends names antibiotics around here or are you a loner like me?" Okay, you might think that I've gone crazy talking to some medical supplies, but believe me when I tell you that when you've been as far away from human company as I have… you have no other choice but to talk to something before you go nuts.

Looking for antibiotics in a regular store was pretty much out there on the crazy scale, but people got nutty when the virus struck. They ept everything close. Even stuff like antibiotics.

Since the walkers didn't speak, only occasionally gurgled, they would be of no use at all during a little chit-chat, but neither would bandages, I least they were safer. Not like zombies. All the did was mumble and awkwardly shuffle around like a bunch of retarded psycho killers, grappling at you the moment you made a sound. Being alone really sucked, but being the only survivor in a world full of zombies was even worse.

"Damn it dude! Why couldn't we just have kept on driving?" Was that… another person? I hid behind the counter. Hiding behind a counter might seem a little cliché, but you do anything to survive Zombieland. Even stay as far away as possible from human company. I know, I know… I said I was looking for survivors, but just jumping out in front of them might not be such a good idea. Like a good old bank vault you're trying to break into, you need to gather as much information as possible before you try anything.

"Well, let me put it this way, so that you can understand. Car needs gas, and gas doesn't exactly grow on trees. We're all tapped out. Unless we find a pond of the stuff somewhere nearby, we're pretty much stuck with walking." A tall man with a mask spoke. He was smart. In case the virus was airborne, he was protected.

"Man! I really don't wanna keep on walking. My feet hurt! And I'm thirsty, hungry and tired! Why can't we stop for just one minute?" Oh great… there's nothing worse than a whining little bitch in times like these and I've successfully managed to found a live one. He sat down on a rock two feet away from the window, which was pretty close to my hiding spot. The smashed out windows provided me with perfect vision.

One part of me wished that I had telepathic powers, making it possible for me to tell them off. Yet one part of me wanted them to stay. Call me scared or just damn right stupid, but to be honest, another human being so close… what can I say? I was curious. I started moving around and looking for things in the drawers, but was all out of luck. Someone must have gotten their hands on everything before I did. Luckily though, I remained hidden and extremely silent.

"Okay look, I don't like it either, but if you're going to keep making that much noise you might as well put a "open for bookings" sign on your forehead." The younger one didn't understand, staring at the man strangely. "You know… open for bookings… like a restaurant… because you're the dinner. God, it's like you've lived the last six months in a box." The older man's voice was so calm and the younger boy kind of made me curious, but at the same time what can I do? My options were to run up to them and risk being killed or rely on the walkers. In these times, I would take my chance with the undead anytime over the living. Then I heard something that I would never forget, or rather someone.

"Stop bitching, baka. We'll make a camp at sunset. Until then, you're just going to have to get your tired ass up and keep on moving. We're not going to get to Shadow Island if we keep stopping all the time." I caught a glimpse of him and let me tell you, he was a regular A-grade hottie right there. I know you're not supposed to get attracted to the other survivors, but there was something about the new man. He was unlike anyone that I had ever seen before.

With his long legs it looked like he stood on top of the world. Great thighs and biceps revealed that he was strong and reliable. A face that could make an angel weep and hair as black as a raven's. He was practically a male version of Snow White.

"Fine, Teme! I will keep moving, but you have to keep watch tonight!" I don't know what happened to me, but at some point when they started walking, reality hit me. What if we were the only people left? What were the chances of meeting someone out here? And not only on, but five.

So stalking them throughout the city wasn't one of my proudest moments, but desperate times calls for desperate measures. I don't know if they knew that I was following them, but one group member was very paranoid and kept turning around like he was being chased by something. They suddenly came to a halt.

"We can stop down there for the night. It's safe and shielded. Dobe, you're on trap duty. Everybody else has their assignments." The way everyone agreed quickly made me realize that they all had something in common. Before all of this, they must have been soldiers. Fast and efficient, great posture, silent when they walked and talked… well… for the most part that is.

They would be the perfect company.

Since I was alone I never had the luxury of someone else watching over me as I slept. I would sleep only when I had found a safe place. In Savannah, things weren't exactly in top condition to do so. People have always been attracted to cities. Walkers aren't that much different.

While they were setting up their camp, I took the liberty to take a stroll around the grounds to make sure that no z-fuckers were nearby. As I strolled I saw something else that really caught my attention. Boy did these guys have some serious behavioral issues. The blond one had ADHD, the pale guy was socially awkward and had a hard time reading people, walking around with his nose in a social studies book, the brunet was downright creepy and the old man had a porn addiction. Then there was him. My professional, cough cough, not really, opinion… definitely anger management issues.

Not as bad as Clint's, but still… not far from it seemed.

Overall they all had some problem that caused them to stand on the outsides of life, alone and not part of the bigger groups. Maybe they never realized it, but it probably contributed greatly to their survival. Then again… I really wondered how they all managed to stay alive with the blond numbnuts in toe.

"Ey dude! I really can't-"

"Shut up! Do you want the walkers to flood this place?" The blond pulled out some rope from his bag.

"How you survived is completely beyond me." The blond chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head.

I started thinking about what kinds of people they were before the outbreak and were able to find a few markers. Nothing major though. I sighed.

So where had I been before all of this, you ask? Me… I had been the disgrace of the school, the emo that never talked to anyone except for a creepy janitor. I had always been smarter than anyone else, but sadly in high school, that didn't matter to anyone else but the teachers. Nothing but popularity mattered to those bitches I used to call classmates.

This one times, the students had laughed at me so hard that I fled the school and vowed to never return to that dreadful place. Sadly, mum convinced me to keep on studying. I id return on my own eventually, but I was never really the same happy girl I had been before.

"Do you need me to do anything, or am I finished for the day?" Oh my God how the stare of the brown haired man sent chills down my spine. Even though he wasn't looking into my eyes, I could feel the intensity of his glare.

I hoped that I would never again meet someone so creepy. I could see the others also getting nervous around him.

"No, I think we're fine. The camp is already up and I'll take the night shift. You can go to sleep." As the sun started to set, all of them decided it was finally time to hit the hay. The blond finally returned from his venture into the woods. The light summer breeze made it through my hair and gave me a feeling of peace. I hadn't felt this relaxed since sometime before the outbreak.

If there was one thing that I really enjoyed, it was seeing the sun set upon the horizon and watch as the rays of the sun leave for the time being. I always loved seeing the stars, but growing up in the city it was almost impossible to spot any through all of the smog. People say that in a big city there are few stars… they were right. So many people, and now they're all gone.

To be honest, I never really knew how far the virus had spread. It could have gone airborne all the way across the Atlantic, infecting every living being on the planet. Either that or it could have been contained to the U.S. Maybe it could have reached Canada or maybe even Mexico. I was more curious than ever to find out the truth, but all the ways of communication were a bust.

Like a computer virus making its way through the heart of the hardware, this virus might have struck the entire world. I was feeling lonelier by the second, just thinking about all of this, despite there being human beings not a few hundred feet away from me. Luckily, they hadn't spotted me yet. Neither had any walkers.

It seemed unusually quiet this particular night. Not that I was complaining.

Since it was too dangerous for me to sleep on ground level, I kept to the treetops. In the process, I made the most useful discovery as of yet. Walkers were terrible climbers. The moment they tried to hoist themselves up, their arms broke off. The rotten flesh parted, revealing bone. They were so fragile that one single blow would break everything in their sorry little bodies. If you can even call what the walker's brain carried around for bodies.

I climbed the tree and sat down, making sure that I was comfortable before tying myself to it with a rope. The last thing i needed was to fall to my death in my sleep, or even worse, injure myself to such a degree that moving became impossible. Then it would be goodbye life and hello munchies.

I had never been much of an eater though. In fact people could call me anorexic, God knows many had. I pulled out an energy bar that I had been saving since my last raiding of a walmart. I had grabbed everything that I could carry within the course of thirty seconds. I could still remember the sound of the alarm going off, remembering the fear of the walkers approaching.

Since I was always the cautious type, I had made sure that my little station was out of range of their guns, but also made sure that they were close enough for me to see the group clearly. The raven sat down in front of the two tents on a log that they all had helped pull out from the opposite side of where I was. Luckily for me, they had no clue that someone was watching them… and why would they? Walkers didn't climb. I was cautious though and made sure that I was sitting in a way that they could not spot me from their camp.

But I could see them clearly. I set my eyes upon the raven again and noticed that the only weapon he had was a katana on his back, a weapon so sharp and fast that it would make any living person on the other side of it weep in fear.

Crying on the other hand was something that I had done so many days of my life that I couldn't even count the times on my fingers anymore. But I did know that those days were over now. No more weeping over something as meaningless as a beating from a so called father. The only situation that it was okay to cry was if you knew that you were about to die. I could only imagine how many people had wept over their inevitable doom.

I was all alone now and the only way to get any sort of comfort would be to find a cure. Or at least make sure to find some place that was safe. Everyone had fled to refugee centers or other such facilities in their quest for survival. Sadly, none of those stood today.

The last broadcast I heard urged people to search for shelter on Shadow Island.

It was a complete bluff… I was sure of it. No centers were open, no people alive. Just a bunch of dead people walking. That was all that remained. Dead people. The ones they put down and the ones that they didn't.

The only calm city that I had been to so far was Saint Cloud, Minnesota. Man, even when the people of Minnesota were, they were polite.

I had roamed around the entire Goddamn U.S for the past six months in search of some answers, but ultimately failed to find any. The only thing I could find were bogus directions on where to head for a so called "safe haven". Like the center in Atlanta for survivors. I had been there looking for clues of where mankind had gone, but I guess that I already knew the answer. They were roaming the streets with eternal "life". If you could even call it a life.

All over the states I had founds signs telling me to get the hell off the streets and into a new refugee center somewhere else, but when I got there, they stood empty of people, but full of walkers. It was always the same song stuck on repeat. Had I not known better, I would have probably that they had dropped a zombie-a-bomb in those shelters. Though, I did know better. People were scared, hiding their bites and feigning innocence when they were ultimately found out. Either that or they killed themselves in fear of the unknown, with or without having been bitten. Something that I had found out was the fact that if the bite didn't kill you, the fever would. But that didn't matter. No matter how you died, you came back. There was no point in trying to find one of those centers anymore.

Eventually, I stopped looking and settled for the one thing I knew how to do.

I skipped from town to town, trying to survive out here.

I sighed, coming to terms with the life that was now. There would never be a cure. No one seemed to even look for it anymore. I wasn't even sure if there were people smart enough, still alive to this day, to synthesise such a serum. Sure didn't seem like it, and the group below wasn't about to win any Nobel prizes for science anytime soon.

The moon shone on my face, illuminating the dark, quiet land, making me miss the good old days when people were alive and I knew that none of that would ever come again, there were times when I wish that everything wasn't so fucked up. I wish whoever became patient zero hadn't gone to the zoo that day.

When I first heard about the unknown disease on the TV, I couldn't even imagine what shitstorm was brewing. It wasn't until the police came to take me away to Juvie, and the roads were blocked by crazy screaming folks, running from the dead, that I realized what was happening.

I hoped against hope, to go back to a time before all of this.

"Who am I kidding? That will never happen." I was sincerely hoping that someone was able to fix this mess, and soon. For now, I would just have to keep my cool and get some sleep.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I could feel myself drifting into a peaceful slumber, unknowing of what was to come.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I awoke to the sound of footsteps, approaching slowly, but clumsily. If it wasn't a walker, then my money was on the noisy blond. I was happy to see that the idiot blondie wasn't behind the source of the noise, but quickly got worried when I saw a walker stuck in a trap. I was so anxious to get into the tree that I had failed to see the obvious snare trap so close to me. It must have been the blond who made it while I was daydreaming, to oblivious to my surroundings. But that couldn't have been it, right? I would have noticed. Right?

I hadn't even checked to see if they were still there, but was relieved when I spotted their tents still on the hill and the raven sounds asleep on the log. Then I got even more worried. What if he was dead? I had to find out.

I untied myself and jumped down with my bag in hand. Instead of going to the right over a creek towards them, I chose to make a left first and deal with the walker in the trap. I slowly grabbed my tire iron and approached the zombie.

"Geez… you're not gonna win any beauty pageants anytime soon. You're one ugly motherfucker. Flesh was sticking out of its teeth and an arm was missing. To think that this thing was a human once was close to impossible. "Sorry, buddy, but you've gots to go."

He started growling loudly, almost as if he knew what was about to happen. I swung my weapon as hard as I could, hitting him in the temple. Apparently, my swing was so forceful that the entire skull shattered on impact. I felt my stomach growling, at a very inappropriate moment I might add, and remembered that the only thing I had eaten today was the energy bar a few hours prior.

As I climbed the tree again, I remembered something else. All I had left to eat was three remaining energy bars, two apples, two bottles of water and a few breadsticks. I would have to find some food, and fast, or otherwise I too would be as dead as the fucker below.

I grabbed another energy bar, grimacing in disgust at the taste. Cocoanut wasn't a huge hit with me, but in these times you would have to put all of your likes and dislikes aside for the sake of survival.

I couldn't recall the last time I'd eaten something that I actually enjoyed. It had been more than six months ago though, that was for sure. I was hopeless in that way. A picky eater.

I looked up at the stars and spotted Delphinus, or the Dolphin. As a child, my favorite animal had been dolphins. Even though I hated swimming in the ocean, I had always found them extraordinary. They were beautiful, wonderful and mesmerizing creatures.

I was pulled away from my daydreaming by a snore, signaling that the people down there were sleeping peacefully. I had completely forgotten that I was about to go and check on them when I had climbed down from the tree.

"Well…" I said with a deep sigh. "Better get this over with." I took my belongings and once again got down from the oak, careful where I put my feet, and slowly made my way over to their camp. Before I could get that far, I would have to make my way over the river without startling any of them, or stirring up any herds for that matter.

I put my feet down in the freezing water and started treading over to the other side. I was actually going to do what I had been wanting to do all day. I was going to walk up to them… and then what? What was I going to do once I was there? What was I going to say? I had no clue, but as sure as the sun rises on the horizon, I had to do this.

I had almost reached the riverbank when I felt my foot getting caught on something in the water, and I feel face first into a rock. Luckily, I didn't break my nose, nor did it render me unconscious. I had been lucky. A harder strike and I would have been dead even if the impact hadn't killed me. Sooner or later, I would have drowned, or God forbid, walker chow.

"Ouch, motherfucker!" I shrieked as quietly as I could, trying not to alert someone to my whereabouts. I rubbed my sore nose and tried to force the pain away, just like I had done so many times before.

Being the lonely kid wasn't really as fun as it sounds, especially when you have to endure a lot of beatings during the school years. It was all because of the stupid chick Kara. We had been friends once, up until we were thirteen. I got the part in the school play that she so desperately wanted. We were never able to mend our broken bond after that and she managed to urge her friends into beating me senseless quite frequently.

I took a deep breath, assessing the damages. No blood, no broken nose, and hopefully no bruising in the morning. To make sure, I blew my nose, sighing in relief when there was no blood there. I splashed some water on my face and stood up, but as I was turning around I felt the cold metal of a blade against my throat. I looked up to find him there, more beautiful than anything else in the world. Thought my admiration didn't stay for too long when I realized his face showed a murderous glare.

"Choose your next move very carefully, girl."

Great… how the hell do I get out of this mess?

Author's note 2017: Hello my little zombies. Yes, it is I, Foambanana. It's been a long time since I've logged onto Fanfiction, but I decided that it was finally time to re-write the series. I've grown a lot as an author, and it's time to fix the typos, grammatical errors and continuity errors. And for all of you fans out there, Zombieland 2: the last lullaby, is currently on hiatus for the time being. I'm sort of busy with my new job so I haven't really gotten around to it. For now, I'm focusing on some of my other stories over at Archiveofourown. Pen name there is "OoOMagnoliaOoO" without the "". No Naruto stories there though, but if you're a fan of SNK and Fallout 4, I suggest heading over there. Quite a lot of material to read through ;). I'll get to finishing ZLand 2 as fast as I possibly can, but it might be awhile. Stay tuned, and I'll see you. Until next time, JA NE! XD