Fools

They won't do it.

Huh! Two young idiots. Pity, really. They'll probably vanish, just like the rest of 'em. I've seen it happen. Knights – young and thinking they know it all, usually – come past saying to everyone: "I'm off to rescue Prince Rilian." And everyone'll smile and shake their heads. Mad, the lot of them.

Sad, I suppose.

These two are younger. They're not knights – blimey, one of 'em's a girl, and a girl from Aslan too, which makes things…well, not worse, they couldn't possibly be worse, except if I catch double pneumonia from the cold, hard ground I sleep on every night, and die.

Well!

Makes a change when they're brought by Glimfeather, maybe. And if the girl's from Aslan – just makes things more confusing, that's all. Perhaps this crusade, or whatever fool name they're putting on these trips nowadays, will be different.

And maybe pigs will fly. Prince Rilian probably isn't even there any more, and if he is, he probably won't want to come back. If we find him, of course, which I must say isn't likely.

What?

The young'uns are waking up. I shouldn't be surprised if they spent the night tossing and turning. And there won't be much breakfast, I don't think. Eels are slippery things.

I'll set them to make a fire with the tinderbox, though I shouldn't wonder if they found the wood was damp. And even if it wasn't, they won't know how to make a fire, I'm sure.

Oh, they're coming over. Better put my best face on. Doesn't do to upset the guests, you know.

"Good morning, Guests," I say cheerily. "Though when I say good – " having had second thoughts on that greeting, you see – "I don't mean it won't probably turn to rain or it might be snow, or fog, or thunder." Oh dear. Now I've gone and worried them. "You didn't get any sleep, I daresay."

The girl blinks. "Yes we did, though, we had a lovely night."

Well, that's kind of her. Not many as would do that. The boy, for instance, would mumble something and shuffle off uneasily. Oh, well. My luck.

They run off to start the fire – probably burn down my wigwam, they will. I've caught quite a few eels, so I head off back.

"…Either of you might faint with hunger before they're done. I knew a little girl – "

Ah. Best not tell that story. The little girl in front of me looks a little apprehensive. But she knows what she's doing.

"Can you help us to find Prince Rilian?"

A lot of knights passed through here on the way to find him, little girl. I saw a few brought back on mortuary slabs. Most I never saw again. I don't really want that – whatever it is – to happen to me.

But I know this area better than anyone. And there's something in these two young fools that appeals to me. I wouldn't help droves of the King's knights like this, but these two…they're something special.

It's a hard decision to make. But I made up my mind as soon as I saw them. Not much of a choice, really. I don't like to see young'uns dead. I may not be able to help them staying away from that, but I'll do my darnedest best.

"Well, I don't know that you'd call it help exactly…"