Help Chapter: 6

A/N: Been a while, huh? Forgive me, please! All that matters is that I'm happy to be here- updating... Right?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

~Haruhi's POV~

As I turned around, thoughts were thrown at me. Thoughts that abused me, yelling at me to not turn around, and that it would be the most screwed up decision of my life. But I disregarded those thoughts and continued to look back to see whatever the hell was going on.

I cursed slightly under my breath as I saw the two idiots start to bite each others necks off. Why the hell are they even fighting? Well, I guess I see the reason for it, how complicated this mess is as of now, but why for me? I'm not important, even though I make it seem like I think I'm the center of the universe, or some god or something. But, is that really even me?

Fuck that. You don't need anything right now, Haruhi. Just go.

"What the hell are you two doing?" I groaned, holding my face in my palm, a facepalm as it is called now.

Yet, you stay and "chat." Great, Haruhi.

Kyon and Itsuki glared at each other, I could feel the tension in the air as they stayed silent, practically arguing with each other through their eyes.

Somehow this is getting annoying and uncomfortable, what with Yuki and Mikuru being here. Mikuru and Yuki were quietly staring at the scene unfolding itself- well, the interrupted scene.

Sighing, I let my glare intensify, "why the hell are you two fighting?"

Dammit, that has got to be the most stupidest question ever. Of course they're fighting over me! Stop playing so dense, idiot.

"Suzumiya-san. Is that really a question that needs to be answered? It's obvious that... Kyon just needs to leave. And that's what I am trying to get him to do," Itsuki walked up to me, wrapping an arm around me and glared at Kyon.

That one movement of his arm set me off a bit, and my blood flow decided to work it's way to my cheeks as he firmly pressed me against him.

How much more embarrassing can this get? Why is Itsuki acting like this? He shouldn't have to care about me, even if he is one of my proclaimed 'playthings' in the SOS brigade.

Kyon's eyes narrowed at Itsuki and the atmosphere became even more unbearable. Why is everyone so stupid today?

But obviously I'm the most idiotic of all today...

Shaking my head, and pushing Itsuki away, I decided to run out the door this time.

And not look back.

Not look back to the heavy and uncomfortable scene behind me.

Because that would just be another mistake.

Where was I planning to run off to? I don't think I had a place in mind when I ran off.

That was stupid- there's nothing else of importance to discuss in the club, even if there were like Hell I'd go back there, and school is done for the day, I guess that should be a relief, seeing that Kyon is in my class, anyway. Why would I want to see him after this happened? Everything's messed up again.

Again.

See Haruhi? You're always making mistakes. You don't ever get anything right, you always can seem to just screw everything up. Everyone, well, Kyon for sure, always gets mad at you. And then you just-

I shook the thoughts away and let my leg come forward so I could start the process called walking, I didn't even know I stopped my motion.

My strides weren't as prideful as I wanted them to be, but that would change, I'd hoped, as I continued my small pace, steps being weak and just a bit clumsy.

What do I do now? Where do I go? I'm getting hungry, maybe I should go to a cafe on my own like the lonely idiot you are. People passed me as my strides became more meaningful as I went, and slowly a small smile began to make it's way onto my face.

Maybe making that small smile into the usual proud smirk will help get my mind off of things?

Ha, off of what things? See, you're doing better, Haruhi! Just keep your mind off of the fact that Kyon and Itsuki are stupid idiots who are fighting over another idiot and-

Sigh. You aren't doing as good as you thought you were, are you?

I grumbled a curse under my breath as I continued walking to the cafe I promised myself I would go to. The feelings and grief lumped up in my throat as I thought over the day, everything's so confusing and I don't need all of it right now. A nice sweet from the cafe should help, right?

Maybe it will help...

I directed my course to my now decided destination, finally I have somewhere to go. Anywhere but home is fine. Not home. Not yet, atleast.

I glanced up at the cafe I now stood in front of, the bland colors reflecting how I felt at the moment. The sunny sky pissed me off, and my thoughts threw me back to the events of today, and events of the weekend, and made me even more depressed. Thoughts came back to me and I sighed, heavily. Why are you thinking about that now? Oh... Great...

Stepping away from the entrance of the building, I shook my head, trying to rid the thoughts hopelessly, and turned around.

Maybe I'll just add another cut...

~Home with Haruhi~

I walked in and locked the door, already feeling that tingly feeling in my stomach every time I walked into the house and knew that I was going to cut.

It always usually happens when I get into fights with Kyon, those moments of feeling absolutely hopeless fueled what ambition I had to cut and I looked for my razor blade.

I finally found the razor blade, a plastic thing with a small and sharp razor fixed in, and stared at it.

Usually cutting myself wouldn't even have any second thoughts. I didn't even think twice about it on my way home to actually do it. But today feels like some type of messed up thing will happen. Something messed up that it will ruin me forever.

Ruin everything.

Shaking that aside, I stared a little bit more at the razor in my hand.

Maybe I shouldn't...

I didn't listen to my instincts and continued to guide the razor to my wrist.

Something could happen, Haruhi...

As the razor slowly made it to my wrist, I felt anxiety coil up in my stomach. Why does cutting myself after something so crazy feel so off today? I do it every now and then anyway. This is just one of those normal days. But... Somehow... It just feels wrong...

Shaking my thoughts away once again, I brought the razor even farther down to my wrist and sucked in a deep breath.

That's when the door opened and I froze.

The razor dropping out of my hand as I saw who it was.

Eyes meeting, and I knew the worse was to come.

Damn it.

Well! I feel my writing has gotten just a tad better? I'm trying to write longer chapters... And improve spelling and all that stuff. Either way, thank you all for reading!

Anyway, I'll get to reviews when I get to them- and hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter!

Happy very late New Year's!