Author's Note: Okay, so I lied. Well, not exactly lied, per se. I did expect Chapter Three to be the last chapter, but then I got a review from somebody with the username Bshaw and I couldn't help it. I was inspired. Besides, I think this is a better ending anyway.

Prepare for (some) nudity...!

Chapter Four

"...And that," Levy concluded, "is the story of how Bixlow got his own apartment."

Gajeel raised a nonexistent eyebrow at his informant, peering over her shoulder at the couple they were discussing. He'd been away on a mission during most of the events that had transpired, so she was dutifully catching him up on the guild gossip. Not that he'd even freaking asked her to.

But now that he knew the story, his curiosity was a little piqued.

"So...d'you know if they've...you know...?"

Levy blushed delicately. "Well how am I supposed to know that, Gajeel?"

"I was just asking! It sounded like that was the moral of the story, or somethin'. Would've been a damn good ending, if you ask me."

"Well..." Levy admitted, biting her lip. "Mira's keeping close tabs on them, and according to her it doesn't seem like they've gotten the chance to...you know...do anything yet. The party was only two days ago."

"How would she know?"

"It's body language, Gajeel," Levy huffed, as if this were common knowledge. It must've been something that girls noticed. He certainly didn't go around studying people's posture, trying to decide if they'd had sex or not. "People's actions toward each other change after they've done the do."

Gajeel considered this. "So, does that mean that everybody could tell when we did it?"

At this Levy just wiggled her eyebrows and hopped off the stool, skipping toward the request board to look for a job. Gajeel glared after her. She probably told everyone after we did it, he thought to himself, smirking. She couldn't have kept it to herself. I'm just that goddamn amazing.

Yeah. He'd stick with that.

"What is the point in having a love nest if I never fucking get to use it?" Bixlow inquired one day, strolling down the street with Fried. It had been nearly a week since he'd purchased the damn thing, and the one time Lisanna had even been over the entire guild bombarded them.

Fried gave him a look. "Did you just call it your 'love nest'?"

"I find 'love shack' offensive."

"Offensive, offensive!" his babies chirped.

"Look," Fried sighed. "Just give it time. It's not like the apartment is going anywhere. You'll have plenty of privacy to smote Lisanna's virtue in the future."

"What is with you guys?" Bixlow snapped. "You make it sound like I'm the perverted Big Bad Wolf trying to steal Little Red Riding Hood's basket of goodies."

"Aren't you?"

"No! All I'm tryin' to do is take my relationship with my girlfriend to the next level; with her eager consent, I might add! None of you guys got any crap for that. I don't see why I should."

"No, no, doesn't make sense at all! Not fair!" squeaked the tiki dolls.

"I think it has less to do with you and more to do with Lisanna," Fried reasoned. "She's kind of...precious to our guild, don't you think? We all thought she died two years ago. I suppose that most of us still consider her the child she was when she left. All of a sudden she comes back and falls in love with...you."

"Why d'you say it like that?" Bixlow scoffed.

"Well, you're not exactly the kind of guy fathers want near their daughters," Fried deadpanned. "You stick out your tongue all the time like some kind of punk rocker, you're a mage who uses magic that borderlines on dark, you're somewhat of a perverted womanizer, you've got blue hair - "

"Okay, okay, I get it," Bixlow exclaimed. "So I'm not exactly a saint. Sue me. But Lisanna ain't no angel, either. Ever think that maybe that's the reason we get on so good?"

Fried shrugged. "Could be."

"All I'm saying is that I'm not a bad guy," Bixlow muttered crossly, a pout forming on his lips. "Not when it comes to her."

"Says the man trying to steal her virginity."

"It's not stealing, dammit! It's accepting. Accepting. As in given freely."

"Sure. Whatever you say."

They strode into Bixlow's apartment complex, passing his neighbor (a batty old lady with a stereotypical penchant for cats) who glared at him vehemently as she checked her mailbox. Even though she was half deaf, Bixlow was convinced that she was the one who filed the noise complaint. No one else seemed to dislike him. Yet.

"So, is there a reason that you haven't invited Lisanna back yet?" Fried asked as they stepped into the elevator and Bixlow pressed the button emblazoned with 5.

"Just been busy. Ain't got the time. But I did give her a key. Doubt she'll use it, though."

"Why didn't I get a key?" Fried inquired as they stepped out of the elevator and walked down the corridor to Bixlow's apartment. The bevisored man stopped and gave him a look that he could only see half of.

"I just called this place a love nest and you're seriously askin' me why I didn't give you a key?"

"Point taken. Proceed."

Bixlow rolled his eyes and unlocked the door. And froze when he opened it and saw what lay within.

The room had been transformed with candles. Their soft glow was the only illumination; even the curtains had been closed to keep out the afternoon sun. Soft music that Bixlow didn't recognize played from some unspecified location. And standing there, in the middle of the room, was Lisanna.

Nude.

He had to stop and admire the view. The flickering shadows of the candles highlighted her luxurious curves and porcelain skin, and her hair reflected it with a golden glow. She stood with her back half turned to them, so Bixlow could only make out the rosy tip of one breast. Her shoulders were beautifully bare and sloped down into a graceful arch that became her back. He followed the curve of her hips and bottom to the guild tattoo on her thigh.

She smirked when she noticed him come in. Her blue eyes rested on him for a fleeting moment, then turned to something beside him and grew wide with horror.

Then Fried made a tiny squeaking noise, and Bixlow remembered that he wasn't alone.

Lisanna let out a blood-curdling scream and quickly turned her back on them, hunching down and covering her breasts with her arms. "BIXLOW!" she shouted, as though it was his fault she'd decided to run around his apartment naked.

"Shit! Sorry, uh, j-just let me get that blanket for - "

"GET OUT! CLOSE THE DOOR! GO!"

"Yeah, right, um - " Bixlow shoved Fried behind him and did as he was instructed, the door shutting behind him with a sound like thunder. Fried was stunned speechless, his eyes round as saucers. He looked like a mishappen Christmas decoration, his face was so red. Bixlow didn't even know what to say. His babies littered the floor, shell-shocked.

"I...uh...I guess she used the key after all," Fried managed to squawk, clearing his throat nervously.

"That never happened. Erase it from your mind," Bixlow warned, pointing a finger at Fried. "Got it?"

Fried nodded. "I won't tell if you won't. Mira won't be very happy if she finds out - "

"Finds out what?"

"...Nevermind. I - I'm just going to go home now." Fried turned and marched toward the elevator, his face still an impossible shade of scarlet. Bixlow wondered Fried would flush every time he saw Lisanna from now on.

He hoped not. That would mean that Fried thought about Lisanna naked when he saw her, and that was disturbing to no end.

Bixlow sighed and scooped up his babies, heading inside the apartment.

Lisanna was quickly pulling on her shirt. She was fully clothed now, the candles all snuffed out. Even in the semi-darkness Bixlow could see that her face was twice as dark as Fried's had been.

"Um, Lisanna...? Just me now. Fried went home," he said, dumping the tiki dolls on the counter. Peppe stirred and made a small, pitiful noise, but that was the extent of their revival.

"I...I can't believe that...that...oh my god." Lisanna dumped her face in her hands. "I can't believe that just happened."

"Trust me, I'm just as shocked as you are," Bixlow said dryly.

"That was the intent," Lisanna squeaked. "I just thought that...well, that you'd be alone, first of all."

"Yeah. That was pretty clear. Unless there's somethin' about you and Fried I need to know."

Lisanna's face became spotted red. Bixlow wasn't sure if that was healthy or not. Maybe she was blushing so much that her blood vessels were losing function. "Not helping, Bixlow. This tops every single embarrassing cockblocking incident so far."

"I don't know. Your brother almost killin' me came pretty close. Not to mention all those tiny hands draggin' me under my own bed..." Bixlow shuddered at the memory.

Lisanna gave him a blank look. "What?"

"Nothin'. Look, s'no big deal. Fried'll get some brain bleach and this'll all blow over."

"Are you kidding me?! This is...this is awful!" Lisanna cried. "How would you like it if the roles were reversed?! What if my sister walked in and you were naked?!"

"...I don't think you want me to answer that."

Lisanna chucked a pillow at him. "This isn't funny, Bixlow!"

"It's a little funny," Bixlow remarked, pinching his thumb and forefinger together to demonstrate the amount of hilarity. When Lisanna looked ready to rip his throat out, he backtracked. "Hey, if you want me to arrange it so that the barmaid walks in on me naked, I'd be willing to make that sacrifice. But I can't promise that she won't try to jump all over this." Bixlow ran a hand down his physique for emphasis.

Lisanna attempted a scowl, but she couldn't maintain a straight face long enough to accomplish it. "You're a jerk, you know that?"

"But I'm your jerk," Bixlow said endearingly, releasing a tongue-lolling grin now that any further crisis was safely avoided. He flopped gracelessly on the couch beside her, tousling her hair. "Can't believe you screamed at me. A little much, don'tcha think?"

"What, did I scare you?" Lisanna smirked.

"Me? Nah."

"Are you sure? You closed that door pretty fast."

"Well of course I did, Fried was gettin' a good eyeful!" Bixlow teased, dodging Lisanna's half-playful, half-serious slap. "You sure scared him. I think he might've pissed himself after that."

"You sure it wasn't just because he wanted to jump all over this?" Lisanna mocked Bixlow's previous remark, gesturing grandly to her physique.

"Dunno," Bixlow said. "Could be. I would."

"Would?"

"Can," Bixlow amended, sliding closer to her. "How 'bout we light those candles and try again, hm?"

"Mmm," Lisanna considered, biting her lip as his hands trailed down her back and wrapped around her waist. "As pleasant as that sounds, I think I've been traumatized enough for one day."

Bixlow clutched his chest and flopped back onto the couch, looking up earnestly from her lap. "That was harsh, woman. But you're probably right. A night with me after all that...it'd just be too much for you to handle."

Lisanna quirked an eyebrow. "Is that a challenge I sense?"

"Nope, no challenge," said Bixlow nonchalantly, examining his fingernails. "Unless, of course, that turns you on?"

"Maybe it does."

"Then yes, that was all challenge."

"Well, I was actually thinking of you," Lisanna said. "I wouldn't want you to get overwhelmed."

"Me? Overwhelmed?" Bixlow repeated. "In bed? That's never happened...ever."

"That's because you've never slept with me," Lisanna said.

"That was definitely a challenge," Bixlow declared. "Consider it accepted."

Lisanna squealed as Bixlow tackled her and pinned her to the couch, grinning his trademark grin. She wrinkled her nose and attempted to swat at him, but he had her arms pinned to her sides and her legs were crushed by his body. "No fair! You're, like, twice as big as I am."

"Don't pretend you don't like it," Bixlow teased, taking off his mask and tossing it to the side before he leaned down and kissed her. For someone who was worried about overwhelming him, Lisanna sure didn't take long to react. She pressed into him like one of those balloon castles rising up from the ground, somehow managing to wiggle her arms out from his grasp and wrap them around his neck. Their kisses were hungry and thorough, reluctant to grant oxygen to each other after such a long time apart. Soon they were breathing heavy from a mixture of desire, exersion, and lack of access to air.

Bixlow slid his fingers under Lisanna's shirt and promptly removed it, throwing it next to his mask. She cupped his jaw and pulled him back down to her as soon as the fabric was out of their way. He pressed her harder into the couch, eliciting an eager keen from her. Bixlow's shirt was the next clothing item discarded.

Lisanna looped her legs around him, arching her back, urging him on. He rolled over and tumbled off the couch, pulling him after her. They were a writhing tangle of arms and legs on the floor, grasping at each other like desperate people, breathing in thick, heavy gasps. Bixlow felt like he'd fallen prey to a python the way Lisanna curled around him, moving in slow rotations that sent intoxicating waves of yearning through him. He clutched her harder with each startling revolution, trying to pull her closer, to meld together, to squeeze her so that she would be a part of him forever. It seemed like he should've been hurting her, but her cries were of pleasure, not pain, and she only responded with renewed vigor, so he didn't let go.

Bixlow didn't even realize his pants were gone until Lisanna brushed the silky skin of her legs against his own. Somewhere in the struggle they'd disappeared. He ran his hand down the soft skin of her stomach and unbuttoned her shorts, sliding his hand deeper into uncharted territory. Lisanna's body tensed for a fleeting moment, and then her eyes rolled back into her lids and she melted under him with a delicious moan.

Just then the door to Bixlow's apartment swung open, and his landlord strode in. "Everything okay in here? I thought I heard a thump - "

Bixlow was beyond rationality. He turned his gaze to the landlord and saw the flash of green across his vision as his Figure Eyes activated. The landlord's body became rigid as Bixlow took control. "GO!" he ordered, and the landlord whipped around and marched stiffly out of the room with the obedience of a minion, closing the door behind him.

"Did you just - ?" Lisanna gasped, but Bixlow quickly silenced her before she could begin to consider the morality of what he just did. She didn't seem too terribly conflicted.

Their movements rose to a crescendo, limbs thrashing wildly about, nails digging mercilessly into skin, fingers ruthlessly gripping hair without considering pain or injury. They shuddered as sharp, intense waves of pleasure racked their bodies, rattled their bones, until one perfect, blinding sensation besieged them. It faded slowly into oblivion like a star, leaving the two creators splayed limply on the floor, struggling to catch their breath.

Lisanna smiled as she panted, her head pillowed on Bixlow's chest. "I can't believe you used your Figure Eyes on that man."

"I couldn't wait any longer," Bixlow justified. He rested his cheek on the top of her head, nuzzling her hair. He took in the familiar floral smell, mingled with the alien scent of sex.

"Cockblocking won't ever be a problem again," she predicted.

"Sure won't."

Lisanna's smile became warmer, more intimate. She traced the curves of his muscles until she found his hand, and twined their fingers together. "Hey, Bixlow," she whispered, digging her chin into his clavicle as she turned her face up. "We did it."

Bixlow returned her smile with a tongue-lolling grin of his own. She said those three words like they'd accomplished something phenomenal and beautiful and incredible. Something that could never ever be matched by anything or anyone else. "We did it," he agreed.

Because they had.

When Lisanna and Bixlow entered the guild the next morning, everyone who saw them did a double take.

Despite their attempts to cover up the battle scars, there was no mistaking the tell-tale signs of a successful night. The guild caught glimpses of hand-shaped bruises blooming faint purple across the fair skin of Lisanna's arms and back, where the fabric of her shirt shifted, and her hair was not nearly long enough to conceal the bite-sized shadows dotting her neck. Bixlow winced when Laxus clapped his shoulder; there were no doubt of the thick red scratches hatched all over his body. They both sported puffy spots of rug burn on their knees and elbows, as well as dark circles under their eyes.

"Is that healthy?" Cana inquired sardonically as she observed Lisanna's discomfort when sitting. "Should we be concerned?"

"Nah, they'll learn...eventually," Macao snickered. And then he wolf-whistled, earning a glare from the youngest Strauss sibling.

Gajeel, who sat beside them, shook his head in amusement when he followed their gazes to the couple.

"Body language, my ass," he said.

Author's Note: There you have it. Bixlow got some. You have an anonymous reader who goes by Bshaw to thank. Seriously, though, this time it's really the last chapter. Toodles!