AN: This is the last chapter—I hope you guys have enjoyed reading as much as I have enjoyed writing. Have a safe and blessed Thanksgiving! I don't own Criminal Minds.

Chapter 9-The Beginning

To Derek's dismay, Penelope was quiet for several minutes. "Come on, Penelope, out with it."

She signed. "There really isn't much to tell Hot Stuff. He came, you left, he figured out I knew. He didn't understand why I don't want to change anything."

Derek took a breath—he didn't want to push her, but he really didn't understand either. "Why don't you, though? You've been with him for four years, baby."

"I like him having his space and me having mine. I don't want to change that. He was so angry; he asked me if I was adverse to marriage, or just marriage to him." Penelope frowned and took another drink of her beer. She didn't even like beer, so she must have been majorly stressed about this conversation if she was drinking one.

Morgan frowned too—he was wondering the same thing Lynch apparently had been. Was she against marriage, or just marriage to Lynch? "So . . . what did you tell him?"

"Nothing, he stormed off before I could really respond. But that wasn't the point anyway! I told you, Derek, when you make things official, things change."

And now, FINALLY, he could ask the question that had been bugging him for weeks. "And you don't want to be empty? Why on earth would love make you empty baby girl?"

"Because!" She was suddenly practically yelling. "Because if you make it official, and you invest your entire life into someone, then you have all your eggs in one basket. When they leave, everything is going to remind you of them. " She was becoming increasingly upset, tears welling in her big brown eyes as she got up to pace around the hotel room. "They will be gone and everywhere you look you will see memories and . . . and . . . then there's nothing, Derek. Nothing but emptiness."

And he understood. He knew her that well. Morgan was pretty certain that Kevin Lynch did not understand, because while he had shared her bed and a part of her heart for the past 4 years, he clearly hadn't paid that much attention. If had been paying attention, he never would have considered redbull as the appropriate mood setter for a proposal. Morgan placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. As he had done so many times before, he had to put his thumb under her chin to tilt her face up so that she would meet his eyes.

"Baby, I know it hurt when your parents died. I know that you didn't have anyone. But you won't ever be alone like that again. You can't let fear keep you from having a life." Even as he said it, he hoped to God she wouldn't take his words as him encouraging her to marry Lynch. That was certainly not the goal here.

"How can you say I'm not going to be alone like that again? You . . . you . . . you don't know that!" She was agitated again.

He sighed. "Yeah, baby, I do. You will always have us. Your family. You will have Hotch, Rossi, J.J., Reid, Emily . . . you will always have me, baby. No matter who you do or don't choose, no matter what you do, we'll always be there for you. I can't tell you nothing bad is ever going to happen, because that's a lie. In the line of work we do, bad things happen all the time. But if you chose to love someone, to make a life with someone, we would still be there for you if you needed us. Nothing would keep me from being there for you."

"But Derek . . ."

"No, Penelope," he interrupted. "You really, really need to understand this. I would never let you be empty, baby. I don't think you could be that way if you wanted to. You have so much love and life in you, and nothing is going to take that away. I wouldn't let it. I've told you before, I'm going to protect you, whether you want it or not. You can't let fear stop you. We both know life is too short for that."

Penelope leaned her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. "I just don't know Derek. I can't picture myself married to Kevin."

He chuckled. "I can't either, baby. I really wasn't talking about Kevin. I just meant in general. I want you to be happy. I want you to have love."

Her arms came around him.

"Now that I've said that," Derek said, "because it's been bothering me for weeks . . . I need sleep. Like, right now."

Penelope laughed. She climbed into the bed and patted the other side. "I know you don't sleep well after stuff like this. So I hope you don't mind me cuddling up with you."

Derek thought nothing sounded better. As soon as she was nestled in next to him, he felt his eyelids getting heavy. "Thank you for being here for me baby girl . . . " he murmured.

The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was her soft whisper: "Always."

xxxxxx

At some point, Derek awoke. Penelope was still sleeping next to him, her head pillowed on her arms, facing him. Sunlight streamed in the windows. It had to be sometime before noon. He reached out with a tentative hand and stroked her face. He didn't want to wake her. If he woke her up, he would have to explain why he was touching her and that wouldn't do. But he couldn't be this close to her and not touch her. He was so screwed.

He really hoped things stayed done with her and Lynch. Because the sooner they were done, the sooner she could start getting over him. Moving his hand to her soft hair, he thought of how much she would freak out if he told her that he was in love with her. She hated change, and she would absolutely go nuts. He was going to have to tread carefully, give her plenty of time and space. Tomorrow he would take her to meet his family. He would show her Chicago—take her to the Riverwalk and to the youth center. He would let things continue as they were for awhile, so that she could get over Lynch. He would let things continue between them as they were for a while.

It wasn't that he wasn't ready to tell her how he felt. He didn't think she was ready to hear it. She already feared for him every time he went out into the field, he knew that. She would absolutely lose her shit if he confessed his love for her. So he would give her time and try not to scare her. But since she was asleep, he saw no harm in saying the words out loud.

"I'm in love with you, baby girl. I think it's always been you. Do me a favor and don't take too long to be ready okay? Then we can deal with all the crazy, beautiful mess that comes after." He kissed her nose and drifted back off to sleep.

AN: Yeah, I know. Not the ideal ending but I wanted it to "fit" with where they are now. I feel like they go in circles, but I guess they know if they keep us on the hook, we'll keep coming back for more! Again, have a Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for reading/reviewing!