Everything I'll Never Be - An Alois x Lizzy FanFiction

Hello! So this is my first FanFiction :) If you don't like Alois x Lizzy, don't read, but I personally like them and couldn't find many stories about them.

Constructive criticism is welcome, but please don't be mean! So yeah, here it is, and I do hope you enjoy it :)

He sat in his study, looking out the window at the grey sky.

"Claude," he said. "Leave me. I want to be alone."

It was the night after his birthday party, and he'd had a huge amount of people over, including his friend/enemy (frenemie?) Ciel Phantomhive.

Ciel and Alois had a strange relationship. Alois often pissed Ciel off on purpose, simply because he was funny when he was annoyed, but he didn't want Ciel as an enemy. Ciel, on the other hand, had no interest in being friends with Alois. He saw him as a spoiled, irritating child, although Alois was two years older than him.

The night before, Ciel had brought along his fiance, Elizabeth. This had been the first time Alois had met Elizabeth (who had insisted he call her Lizzy) while Ciel scowled on the sidelines.

That was when it had happened. Something that Alois had never intended, but it happened nonetheless.

Alois had feelings for Elizabeth.

He blushed as he sat looking out the window. Everything about her... Her hair, her eyes, her manner...

"L-lord Alois?"

Alois whipped around to face his servant, Hannah.

"What do you want? Havn't I told you not to disturb me while I'm in my study?"

"Well... Yes, my lord... But I-I've come to tell you..."

"Hannah, will you stop stuttering and spit it out!" He slapped her.

"Yes, sorry lord. You have a visitor. I believe it's Miss Elizabeth, Ciel Phantomhive's betrothed."

Alois froze.

"Why is she here?"

"She said she wanted to speak to you directly."

He bit his lip. How well would he be able to hide his feelings? He'd had an extremely hard time doing it at the party. After a minute or so, he said "Very well, Hannah. Tell her to make her way up to my study."

"Yes, my lord." Hannah gushed. "Right away."

She left the study, closing the door behind her.

Alois sank down into his chair and rubbed his temples.

Suddenly the door burst open and Elizabeth skipped in.

"H-hello, Elizabeth." stuttered Alois, slightly shocked.

"Alois! You're here! I'm so glad. I thought you might have dissappeared as well!"

"Dissappeared?" he questioned. "Why on earth would I dissappear?"

"Oh, you see I couldn't find my Ciel, so I decided that this would be the second best place to go. You were very hospitable last night, so I thought, why not? I was sure you wouldn't mind!" She giggled.

"Um... So.. You are -"

"I'll just stay here until Ciel finds me, if thats okay." She grinned.

"Well, um, of course I don't mind. Have a seat, Miss Elizabeth."

She laughed.

"I told you to call me Lizzy, silly!"

"Oh, alright then Eliza- Lizzy."

"There we go!" She smiled.

"I have some books over there on the shelf, if you'd care to have a look at them."

"Yes, thankyou, Lord Trancy!" she bowed.

Alois sat back in his chair, facing the window again.

Time passed and it grew darker outside.

Alois had found himself staring at Elizabeth. He watched her golden curls bouncing in the lamplight, her green eyes that were glued to the book she was reading, her skin that seemed to glow, even when the light was dim, and finally he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

He decided to go about it as he did with every situation, by being forceful and seductive.

He quietly walked up behind the chair she was sitting in, leaned over until his lips were next to her ear, and then said quietly;

"Hello, darling."

She jumped.

"Oh! Alois! You um... You scared me! And.. Haha don't be silly, I'm not your darling, I'm Ciel's!"

"Oh I see. Hmm... Well, I don't see Ciel here. Do you?"

She giggled nervously.

"That doesn't mean I'm not, I see my Ciel every day..."

"Hmm Ciel... I'll have to see what I can do about him..."

He went to turn away from her, but Elizabeth jumped up from her chair and grabbed his wrist.

"No, don't hurt him!"

Alois grabbed a hold of her hand and pulled her to him.

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

"Let go Alois, you're hurting me!"

"Oh, you know you like it." He laughed and winked.

"Alois, stop it, you cant hurt me or him!"

He leaned forwards and whispered into her ear;

"I don't see whats stopping me from doing whatever I like with you..."

He licked her ear.

"Mmh get off me!" she struggled.

"Wheres your precious Ciel now?"

"I-I don't know! CIEL! Where are you! Why did you leave me?"

"And he's nowhere to be seen..."

Alois shoved her against the wall.

"Ciel, please, I try so hard to make you happy! Please save me!"

She fell to the ground and he walked towards her. She backed up against the wall and curled into a ball.

"Just leave me ALONE! No one cares about me, not even Ciel!"

She began crying, and hid her head on her hands.

Alois stopped walking. He suddenly had multiple flashbacks of his past... The village... The old man... Luca...

A single tear slid down his cheek. Elizabeth looked up at him.

She burst into tears.

"Oh I ruin it for everyone! Now YOUR crying!"

This made him stop for a second. The pure, kindness to her words. The fact that all she wanted was to make everyone else happy. She was perfect – And everything he could never be...

"Shut up... Shut up you stupid girl!" He wiped the tear from his face.

She ran down the hallway, away from him.

"Don't play with my feelings, Alois!"

He chased after her.

"You can run Elizabeth, but you can't hide from me!"

She stopped running and turned to him.

"Why are you doing this?"

He stopped as well, considering.

"Because I want you Elizabeth."

"You won't have me Alois! I am Ciel's!"

Alois started towards her again, but she backed away.

"Please, if you want me, why are you hurting me like this?"

He grabbed her shoulders roughly.

"I don't want to hurt you Lizzy!"

His hold loosened and tears began sliding down his face.

"I...I just..."

He sank to the ground.

Elizabeth kneeled down in front of him.

"Alois, please don't cry." She said, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Lizzy... I'm so sorry... I just... I can't..." He buried his head in her shoulder.

She hugged him

"Ssshhh... It's okay Alois, we can talk about this later. Just calm down, okay?"

He managed to stop sniffling and calmed his breathing, Elizabeth holding him the whole time.

"Lizzy..."

"Yes Alois?"

"I... I wanted to tell you... I'm... I'm..."

"What? You can tell me." She said softly.

"C-Ciel would kill me for saying this, but Lizzy... I'm... I'm..."

He buried his face in his hands.

"I'm in love with you."

She hugged him.

"It's okay Alois, you can't help your feelings."

He looked up at her. At her beautiful, honest, kind face.

Had she just said it was alright?

This almost brought him to tears again. She was just too damn nice!

"Can I ask you something?"

He raised his eyebrow.

"Why do you love me?"

A million things flashed accross his mind. All the little things about her, so many things he couldn't even put into words... But he could try, for her.

"Just everything about you Lizzy. Besides the fact that you are the most beautiful girl I know..." he blushed "you're so kind, and good to people. You always want everyone to be happy. Even though I hurt you, and messed with your feelings, you were upset when I cried. You are simply a perfect, angelic, beautiful person... And the absolute opposite to a piece of scum like me..." He let out a sob. "I don't know why I thought telling you would make a difference.. I should of just kept it to myself.. You could never even like someone like me..."

"Sshh, it's okay Alois, it's alright. Look, I love you as a friend, and I can see through your smiles. You're not scum to me, or anyone else, and you're just as fragile as the rest of us, no matter how hard you try to hide it. And that's okay Alois, you don't have to be ashamed. I love Ciel, but I also love you."

She hugged him harder.

"But Lizzy please don't.. don't say that.. it just makes it worse! You can never love me.. Ciel hates me! He doesn't even like us being friends!"

"Well Ciel only hates you because when he sees you hurt, he sees himself. You remind him of himself. He realises that he is fragile and can be hurt easily, but he hates the way you can still smile after what you have been through. He cant stop us from being friends, and i will always be by your side."

He paused, taking in everything she'd said.

"Lizzy.. Would it be really stupid.. If I..." He looked away. "No, never mind."

"What is it?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

"It's just.. no.. it's stupid. You'd hate me. It would make me look... bad... I already have a reputation as a slut..." His voice trembled.

"You're not a slut, and I could never hate you." She took his hand.

He looked into her eyes. Those clear, emerald green, sparkling eyes.

"I..."

And suddenly, she leaned down and pressed her lips against his.

His mind exploded into a million pieces, taking in every little tiny thing about the kiss. The butterflies in his stomach, the warmth of her lips, her hand holding his.

It only lasted a second, but he didn't mind.

She pulled away and looked at him.

"Feel better?"

He got a hold of himself and started babbling.

"I'm sorry Lizzy. I had to. It'll be the last time.. I just.. Had to. I hope you understand." He stood up and walked over to the large window.

"Its alright I understand, I will always be here for you when you need me." She got up and walked over to him. "Look at me okay? I will never dislike you."

He looked at the floor. "But I don't deserve that..."

"You deserve it as much as anyone else." she smiled sweetly.

He turned back to the window.

"Thanks Elizabeth..."

There was a few moments of silence.

"So, where do you think Ciel is?"

She looked worried.

"Uhm, I don't know, maybe he's back at his manor? It is quite late, so he might have gone home to sleep. I was only searching there a couple of hours ago, but he could be there now I suppose. But why did he go off without me?" she pouted.

Alois looked at her face and then laughed.

"Don't pout, it's too cute!"

She giggled. "Not really... Ooh Ciel, why did you leave me? How am I going to get back to the manor now?"

"I could walk you back, Lizzy, but we should get going now. It's already getting dark."

She smiled. "Yes please," and then whispered, "I'm scared of the dark..."

"Don't worry," he said, "the dark can't hurt you. Lets go."

"Okay." she took his arm.