Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

AN: This one shot is written based on a drawing I did of Edward and Alphonse. To see the picture you can copy/paste the link below into your browser (no spaces)

Link : lyson . deviantart gallery / 38331484 # /d5bnzpn

- Those First Nights Were Cold -

It wasn't like Edward had expected it to all be easy.

From the very beginning when they'd first committed the taboo of Alchemy, both boys knew they'd suffer a long burden and a lot of pain, emotional for Alphonse, but physical as well for Edward.

The years had passed by so slowly and yet now that it was over, it seemed like being 17 years old had crept up on him frighteningly fast. Just weeks ago he'd been 16 in a body that had experienced a rather late growth spurt, though not significant but enough to make people stop calling him short and Alphonse had been a hollow suit of armour.

They'd not seen each other for weeks up until that day in the woods and then on their day of sacrifice, reckoning and by the grace of sheer will power, strength and alchemy, redemption.

It had been a horrible day, so much death and pain…and yet from it, came his arm of flesh and more importantly, his brother's physical body.

Edward had thought he'd have regrets about giving up his alchemy, at the time it had seemed so crystal clear, so simple a decision, after the fact he'd already berated himself to the possibility of regretting his decision.

But the regret never came, not from the moment he held his brothers terribly bony, ashen hand in his own and seen those silver green eyes open and focus on him.

No regrets.

Not for anything he'd ever done to have Alphonse's body back, to see him smile weakly and feel the weak clutch of his hand in his and the long nails press into the back of his hand.

The shame of his sin to his brother's innocent life left him instantly when he heard Alphonse rasp out the word 'Brother' with his smile, his lips cracked and ashen coloured like the rest of his skin beneath Edward's dusty black coat he'd wrapped around him.

It all seemed perfect at that moment, like suddenly everything was right again. He didn't care if he had automail for the rest of his life, he didn't care if he never used Alchemy again, Alphonse was alive, he had breath, he would be able to feel, taste, smell and all the wonderful gifts of being human he'd lost out on because of a child's mistake.

It all seemed so perfect. Everyone was smiling.

But he should have known even then that it wouldn't be easy.

And from the moment after everyone smiles, when he lifted Alphonse's weight, helped him stand and he felt his brothers legs give out even as he had an arm over Edward's strong shoulders, he knew that theguilt would never leave him.

Alphonse was in this condition because of him.

Alphonse would later argue that the reason he was still alive beyond the gate was because of Edward's body nurturing him, but Edward wouldn't really hear or believe it, though he'd shrug and smile in feigned agreement.

No, it was his fault. Every slow step Alphonse took with a smiling face from the HQ to the military ambulance they'd called, was shaky and he knew if he released his hold on Alphonse for a moment, the boy would not support his own feather weight.

At first he wouldn't allow Edward to carry him, he wanted to feel the warm ground beneath his feet.

But as the steps became harder and they'd passed Ling and he no longer had anyone to smile at, he'd glanced at Edward and his exhaustion was clear, Ed hadn't hesitated once Alphonse had looked at him.

He'd simply lifted his emaciated brother's weight, cradled the lithe form to himself and without a word, walked the rest of the way to the ambulance, suppressing his guilt and sadness but at the very least reassured that Alphonse was okay by the shallow breathing against his neck.

There were a lot of machines around the pale blue sheeted hospital bed, three different intravenous drips were attached to his brother, they'd had a hard time finding veins beneath his wan skin and when they'd slipped the needled in Edward had nearly thrown the nurse across the room because Alphonse visibly flinched and groaned at the slight ache.

But then he'd laughed quietly and in a tired pained voice with a weak smile he'd looked at Edward at the bottom of the bed and mumbled, 'I felt that, brother…'

The nurse was forgiven and she along with another nurse continued to hook Alphonse up to machines that would aid him to health from his deteriorated state.

Edward waited until they'd finished and then made his way round to the bedside and slipped his hand around Alphonse's fingers, squeezing them lightly and he smiled when his younger brother focused on him and squeezed back,

"You're skin…its warm Al…" he felt it through the latex glove, his voice had cracked and he saw a smile underneath Al's oxygen mask.

It was a few short moments after the oxygen mask was over his face that Alphonse closed his eyes and fell asleep. And only a moment later that Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, cried like he'd had his heart ripped out of his chest…and then someone had shoved it right back in.

It was equally painful.

He lowered himself slowly into the chair beside the bed, his arm extending so he could keep hold of the luke warm rigid hand in his own and with his right un-gloved hand…his newly flesh hand, he covered his face and let his tears moisten his flesh palm.

Alphonse hadn't wanted to stay at the Amestris Private Hospital, even though it had the best medical care, he wanted to be close to Edward, who had to make longer trips to and from the Military Hotel to the hospital between clothing changes and occasional showers.

A week had passed and Alphonse requested to be moved to the Military State Hospital, it was only 5 minutes from HQ and the hotel.

Edward had argued that it was better for Alphonse in the private hospital and that he didn't mind making a hundred long trips but like so many times before, Alphonse won the argument by simply telling Edward it was what he wanted.

Edward sat at the bed side, staring at the IV's around the bed, Alphonse was not yet allowed to leave the bed or eat any food, he was literally living on basic liquid vitamin and nourishments until he'd stabilised.

He was barely awake most of the time and his fingers, eyes, and toes twitched occasionally involuntarily, the doctor said it was his nerves, unused to sensation it may be like an overload at some points.

So the blinds to the room were kept closed, the air in the room was kept at a comfortable body temperature, voices were to be kept to a lower tone when speaking, no whispering or loud talking.

Alphonse was also prone to infections because his immune system was almost non existent, so everyone had to wear masks over their mouths and the standard latex gloves and blue visitor pull overs when visiting or when anyone was attending to Al.

On top of all of that Alphonse was, as the doctor explained it, in a moderate amount of pain constantly.

'His muscles are atrophied, he's very lucky that none of his muscle tissue has died yet or he'd be in severe pain. He may still encounter health complications so it's very important he gets rests so his body can be strong enough to sustain orally taken medication, liquids and food. He'll need to eat slowly but the food will help his muscles replenish mass which the IV drips can't do. Wherever he was all this time, the people kept him just beyond the point of starving and wasting away completely.' The doctor had explained to Edward, not fully knowing the true circumstances.

Every time the older man talked to him he became scared and felt helpless, hearing about Alphonse's condition and how serious it was terrified him. Diabetes, osteoporosis, immune system deficiencies…all conditions that may afflict his brother in the aftermath. Ed only hoped because this wasn't a common place case of malnourishment, that Al wouldn't face those problems. He had forced himself to ask if Alphonse would be okay, it had been a quiet question and his throat had nearly closed around it.

Again the doctor had gone about how lucky he was that there were no fractures considering the weak bone density, how lucky he was that his lungs still functioned well enough and no brain damage was incurred due to inconsistent oxygen to the brain. So many things that were 'lucky'.

Edward only wondered if were luck or if being in the Gate had in fact had also been a huge factor to the Alphonse's health. Sure, he'd shared nutrients and energy and reparative healthy sleep with Alphonse, presumably, but maybe the gate had kept him alive too, not subjected to worldly injury and illness like the flu which could kill Alphonse in his current state.

In time they would know if Alphonse would recover fully but for right then he remained in ICU with aided breathing and constant watch.

It was a further week and a half later when Roy Mustang made an appearance. He'd been in hospital for the passed time and Edward hadn't visited him once, although he didn't feel bad, his priorities were obvious and Mustang had enough people to fuss over him.

Not that everyone hadn't visited Alphonse but aside from his physical state making visiting hours very short and the need to keep him unexposed to illness, the state was busy getting its shit together after the death of Fuhrer Bradley so he was actually surprised to have seen any of them and no especially Roy.

"What are you doing here?" Ed asked in a low tone, his voice slightly muffled behind his face mask. He was sitting at the bed side, where he'd slept most nights passed.

"This is the first chance I got to visit since being discharged." Roy answered back, his voice naturally baritone, he didn't wear a mask so he stayed at the door.

Edward stared at him,

"You're eyes…"

"Doctor Marcoh."

"The Stone?" his mouth was in a straight angry line behind the mask as he stood up and walked over to Roy, away from Alphonse's bed side so they could speak quieter.

"It was a deal I made…to restore some equivalent exchange ideals to the Ishvallan's whose city I helped level and destroy, under Fuhrer Bradley's order." He stated quietly.

"Those were people's lives in that stone." Edward said in a harsh quiet tone.

"That would otherwise have been wasted if the stone was destroyed. I'm not using it selfishly, my eyesight is necessary if I'm going to lead a country and help those wronged by the state."

"You sound like a fucking politician, Colonel asshole…" Edward informed him and looked away from the older man, not wanting Roy to see the sadness and fear that hadn't left his eyes for weeks.

Roy's hand fell lightly on his shoulder and he looked at the offending hand and then at the man who was now only half a head taller than him,

"How is Alphonse?"

His expression of irritation faltered and he knew Roy saw his sadness,

"Time…he needs time and rest for now." Was all Edward could manage to say.

There was a moment of quiet then Roy spoke,

"You've lost weight, have you been looking after yourself?"

Edward pushed the gloved hand off his shoulder,

"It's not about me…I don't care about me…I could not eat for days and not be in as bad a condition as Alphonse." It took all his will not yell at the older man.

"It's pointless not caring for yourself. It's going to be hard on him physically and you are the person he sees as his rock…if you allow yourself to break down emotionally as well as physically, how will you help him get through this?" Roy said calmly, always calm, in control and sure.

Edward quickly wiped away a few tears that had slipped out involuntarily, his eyes burned.

"When last have you eaten?" Roy sighed.

Down in the hospital cafeteria Roy bought lunch for them and even though every second not at Alphonse's side as he had a written state order to be so against the hospitals visiting hours, plagued him and worried him.

He didn't want Alphonse to wake up and he wasn't there beside him.

So he inhaled his food and rushed Roy too and in no time they were in the elevator going back up to the ICU ward. Roy was in full uniform so no one even attempted to stop him when he walked with Edward into the ward. They stopped outside the room and Edward blocked the door way,

"I feel better, thanks for the food…but I don't want Alphonse to waste energy pretending to feel well around anyone." He looked at Roy pointedly.

The older man sighed,

"I saw the request for Al to be moved to the State Military Hospital…I've approved it. As soon as he's stable enough to move, I'll have him transferred." He wasn't smiling yet Ed could hear it in his voice.

He looked up at the older man and his golden eyes burned again, he blinked away the feeling to cry and tucked his bangs behind his ears.

"Thanks, Colonel."

It didn't startle him so much as make him even sadder when Roy's gloved hand rose and he ran his thumb under Edward's left eye, still slightly bruised from blows he'd taken to his face weeks ago, the wetness from his eye lashes were wiped away by the rough material of the glove.

Then Roy's fingers lightly ran down his cheek and his thumb very faintly ghosted over Edward's dry lips before the hand was at the older man's side again,

"Eat and stay healthy, once the worst has passed you can take Alphonse home and all of this will be in the past, Fullmetal…" he turned on his heel and started to walk away.

Edward watched his back for a moment and then turned to the door, but right then he heard Roy say his name, it felt like de-ja-vu for a moment but he didn't let himself think back to that time in Roy's office almost a year ago, instead he turned to look at the man and saw a cocky smile instead of a pitying stare.

"Yeah?" he managed to say despite the lump in his throat.

"It's General Mustang." He said sounding less smug and more reassuring, probably about a promise he made to Edward…and everyone else to climb that political ladder.

Edward did feel a little better, after all, this was good news for everyone including him and Alphonse, so he stood up straight, his legs coming together and his back straight and he saluted,

"General Mustang, Sir." He said with a small smirk.

Roy smiled a little wider and nodded,

"Good day, Major Elric."

As Roy walked away it sunk in very heavily for Edward that he was no longer an Alchemist…and that no one knew as much.

A further week later had seen Alphonse be transferred to the Military hospital, while the care was not as esteemed in the country as Amestris Private, it was by no means lax.

Also, to Edward and Alphonse's glee, he was out of the ICU and could stay in a regular ward, it meant he was stable.

The first night in the regular ward at the Military hospital everyone came to visit, bringing their well wishes and high spirits, tales of how they were doing after asking everything about Alphonse's condition.

Edward just went along with it, watching Alphonse interact and tell everyone how much he enjoys the simple act of inhaling and exhaling.

He didn't tell them about the cramps and limb spasms he had in-between his daily pills, or how his fingers hurt from twitching and his vision was constantly blurry.

He kept all the bad things down, like the two of them always did and just shared the good things.

Edward managed a laugh when Alphonse told Havoc his cologne was too strong and the man apologised right before explaining he had a date that night.

Edward new that the same stone that gave Roy's eyesight back was responsible for Havoc walking again.

It wasn't such a bad thing, there were good men.

Yet the thought didn't occur to him for a moment to call Marcoh and ask him to heal Alphonse, because they'd agreed they wouldn't use the stone on themselves…ever.

But watching Alphonse suffer was hard.

After they all left Al and him talked for a while, about his little book he'd kept during their travels and all the things he'd written down that he wanted to eat soon.

But they both knew he was still a long way off from eating solids, let alone rich foods.

For two weeks Alphonse was getting back into eating, it was mostly soups and custards, jelly and such because his teeth were still getting used to all the calcium supplements as were his bones but more importantly it was because his stomach was likely to reject large partially masticated pieces of meat, it damn near rejected the soup the first time.

The nurses brought his meds to him on a time schedule and everyday it got easier to swallow, his smile got a little brighter and his voice got a little less strained.

It was going well, Edward felt more relief the stronger Alphonse got.

When he held his hand now, Alphonse's grip was a little firmer, though barely and his palm was much warmer. His skin colour was still very pale from the complete lack of sunshine but there was a tinge of pink to his cheeks which reassured Edward his heart was beating steadily.

He no longer had to remain bedded, he could now go to the toilet in the room, Edward would help him get across the room or a nurse would, but the IV had to trail along with him and he couldn't stand on his own, which reminded Ed that his muscles still needed major repairing.

It was definitely getting easier though, since Alphonse would laugh and smile sometimes at something he remembered or when Edward had brought a cold soda can into the room and Alphonse had asked to hold it, the cold apparently felt so great to his forgotten senses.

He was starting to be happy, starting to get his life back.

Edward had to believe there was only up from where they'd been at the bottom.

He had been avoiding going to the military HQ, not wanting to face his State Alchemist title and explain how he longer was able to do what he did so well. To explain he'd be leaving all the people who had been a surrogate family to them. It was like a part of him was missing…but still there was no regret, not as long as he had his little brother.

"Do my teeth look bad?" Alphonse asked while trying to survey his teeth in a silver spoon he would eat his jello with.

Edward smiled, he was sitting at the bed side with his arms crossed over and his chin on his forearms, looking up at Alphonse,

"Nah, I think that the gate kept you intact structure wise, there's no damage to your bones or teeth. Even your skin is unblemished and soft despite how thin you are…" he trailed off as he shifted so he could pinch Alphonse's forearm resting on the bed tray.

Alphonse's giggled, Edward knew he liked the sensation of just being touched. He'd said so one time when Edward held his hand. Unfamiliar yet comforting.

"You know…all that milk we forced you to drink probably also kept my bones and teeth intact…" Alphonse joked, hoping to get a rise out of Edward's overly sombre mood.

But the comment just made him feel guilty,

"Maybe if I'd drank more milk…you're bones would be stronger…" he mumbled into his forearm and focussed his eyes on the blue hospital sheets.

He glanced up when he felt Alphonse's hand on his head, and then his younger brother let his golden bangs slide through his thin fingers, feeling the smooth texture on the pads of his finger tips.

"You're hair is so smooth…and soft." He smiled.

Edward sat up, so some of his hair strands fell away from Alphonse, whose own hair had been dried out but was recovering nicely since he was getting nourishment, he kept it tied back in a low ponytail.

"Al…I'm sorry for all this…" Edward felt the lump return to his throat as he stood.

Alphonse suddenly looked sad too,

"Ed…you don't have to…apologise…the only reason I'm here at all…is because of…you." He was taking breaths in between his words, shallow ones…meaning he would cry soon.

Before he knew it, his own tears were falling off his cheeks and dotting the bed sheets from where he stood,

"So you…forgive me Alphonse?" he almost whispered.

That's when Alphonse eyebrows pulled together and his own tears fell,

"I never blamed you!" he said sadly and hiccupped.

Edward leaned over, pushing the roller tray away, he wrapped his arms around his younger brother's neck pulling him gently into a hug, it was awkward from the side of the bed but it was still the best hug he'd ever get in his life. Alphonse's arms came up around his torso and as much as he could with his meagre strength he squeezed Edward back.

He cried into Edward's shoulder, making a tear stain on the black cotton of Ed's shirt and Edward's own tears stained the blue hospital gown.

It was a long minute later when Alphonse's grip slackened, the emotional exertion was no good and Edward pulled back slowly, taking Alphonse's shoulders while he adjusted his pillows and then helped him lay back.

His younger brother's one hand was lightly clutching the front of his shirt,

"Can you stay here tonight Ed…they haven't been giving me sleeping pills anymore since I'm getting better, so I've been…" he looked away from Edward's gold eyes.

Edward smiled,

"Nightmares, huh?" he knew them well.

"They're awful…" Alphonse mumbled.

"Of course I'll stay and I'll talk to them about the sedatives in the morning." He added as he sat down in the chair again and wiped at his wet eyes with his arm sleeve.

Alphonse nodded and smiled, wiping away his own tears on his bare arm.

They sat in silence for a while and then Edward saw Alphonse reach his hand out.

He scraped the chair closer usual and intertwined their fingers together, resting his chin on the bed mattress and watching their hands as he gently rubbed light circles over the back of Alphonse's hand with his thumb.

A minute later, Alphonse was asleep and Edward kissed his hand and squeezed it lightly, feeling less guilty knowing Al didn't blame him.

Edward was really starting to wish he could get Alphonse out of the hospital.

His younger brother looked so pallid and exhausted from doing absolutely nothing but lying in the bed, the smell of the hospital was not the only smell he wanted to experience anymore. Ed knew it was getting to him, when ever he'd open the blinds Al would sit in the chair near the sunlight and talk about how beautiful the sky looked, even when it was overcast and raining since it was quickly approaching the end of Autumn.

They were too high up to open the windows in the hospital and the doctors had advised against it because Alphonse still had too little physical mass and the cold that was starting to seep into the days and nights of Amestris would affect him more than everyone else in his state.

The hospital room was kept at a comfortable temperature but he knew Alphonse longed to feel a breeze on his skin and in his slowly growing hair, even if it was a cold breeze.

It had been 2 months since the day he'd retrieved Al's body from the Gate and the time seemed to tick by so slowly. Politically things had changed, the news in the papers was keeping both of them in the loop. Talks of peace were being negotiated with the countries outside of Amestris' borders but not with much success. It seemed that the death of a Fuhrer made people trust Amestris even less. Of course he understood, inner fighting of a country didn't reflect very positively.

Internally though it wasn't all that bad, the new Fuhrer, some old man Edward didn't know seemed to be dancing to a tune that seemed a lot like Roy's ideals, so maybe the entire grand scheme had included a new Fuhrer who wasn't young enough to be mistrusted or underestimated but not anything like the bastard homunculus or a greedy dictator. It wasn't half bad really.

Alphonse would often comment on the news and how good things were going and when Roy had stopped by for a visit recently, Al had been so happy he'd made General, the novelty had worn off for Ed though and he nearly gagged and made a point to call Roy Colonel, to which he received an eye roll and a wave goodbye. Apparently Roy saw through his ploy to upset the older man.

Despite the time of year and all of the turmoil the country had gone through, the atmosphere in the country was good. Edward had seen many smiling faces when he'd gone to the store one day to get Al some orange juice that wasn't hospital concentrate…and people recognised him.

He was loathe to think of his lack of Alchemy when being called the People's Alchemist but he never the less smiled and talked with them.

He would often stare at his real right hand, flex his real fingers and examine the veins beneath his skin. His right arm had been a little weaker than his right at first, his nails grown out like Al's, but like Al's body, his own limb had been well preserved and regained strength, thought faster than Al would.

But marvelling at his arm was nothing compared to marvelling at his brothers existence. Sometimes Edward would still touch Al's hair, his arms, feel the pulse of his throat or wrist just to reassure himself. He used to do it when Al was awake until the younger boy insisted he was being silly, now he did it when Al was asleep, it comforted him.

A steady pulse, despite the heart monitor, he needed to feel the rise and flat of it beneath his own fingers.

Around 2 weeks of Al being in the Military hospital he'd been started on solid foods, soft well cooked chicken and steak, vegetables and fruits. He was able to eat cakes and pastries as well and after getting permission from the doctor Winry had made him a Keish and an apple pie on one of her regular visits once a week –funded by Edward of course –

There was no feeling like the joy Edward felt when watching his brother smile around mouthfuls of the delicious foods, he was delirious just tasting it and Edward was smiling just as wide…while Winry cried tears of joy at seeing him enjoy it.

Another thing that came relatively quick was Alphonse starting physiotherapy; it was on a daily basis for 30 minutes a day. It was a slow process because he'd just started gaining weight according to how much he was allowed to eat but he had been adamant that he was ready.

Every step he took was hard, his arms were not much help keeping him up so the physiotherapist would help and Edward would sometimes too, but most of the time the therapist would advise him not to and Edward would simply glare, Al would smile.

Watching little beads of sweat form on his brother's forehead at the strain to his weak muscles, the twitching persisted and the weight gain was painfully slow. The exercises often made him cramp but he and Al were told it was a part of the healing process.

Edward knew Al was getting fed up and he was proved right one afternoon when Al's sweat damp hand slipped from the support bar and he nearly fell, Edward and the therapist catching him in time.

His younger brother shoved the therapist off him, the man looking a little startled and Al grabbed onto Ed's shoulders, pulling himself up, Ed holding him up firmly as Al leaned his light weight against Ed, his head on Ed's shoulder.

"I want to leave the hospital Brother…you can help me get stronger, you can help me with physiotherapy." He was saying quietly, pleading, just wanting to be out.

"Alphonse, your brother has no training in the field, it could do more harm than good…" the therapist said and looked at Edward to agree.

But Edward knew he could help Al recover faster, his brother was unhappy and he would not let that be,

"No, I can get him fit and healthy. I know what my brother is capable of…" 'I know his body…I transmuted it…' he thought to himself.

The knowledge the gate provided was more than anything a therapist could do, Edward knew every detail about the make up of the human body, he'd get Al back to normal. Healthy and strong and kicking ass in no time.

"We'll do it together Al, like everything, we'll do it together." He smiled leaning his chin on Al's shoulder, they would be the same height as soon as Al could stand up straight, he was sure.

Al squeezed him tighter,

"Thank you, Ed."

Edward had to call in a favour from that damn General Mustang, the doctor was refusing to discharge Al and only someone from the higher ups could over rule the hospital's call.

Mustang asked both of them if they were sure about this and when the two Elric brothers nodded with their stubborn expressions he just laughed, they looked so much alike in some ways, nothing alike in others.

And so he signed a piece of paper, waiving all the hospitals liability to Alphonse's health from point of discharge and he sent a car to fetch them from the hospital after only two days. It was driven by Havoc who was smiling like crazy the minute he saw the two brothers, Al was wheeled out in a wheelchair as hospital protocol insisted, Edward pushing it from behind while a pair of crutches were rested across Alphonse's lap for future use.

They exchanged pleasantries, Havoc helping fold up the wheel chair into the car back while Edward helped Alphonse get into the car and then they were on their way to the Military hotel which was close to the hospital in case it was necessary.

Once they arrived and Edward had wheeled Al all the way to the room, using the hotel's elevator for once, everything seemed so quiet. The keys were noisy as Ed unlocked the door but then it was just quiet.

Edward glanced at Alphonse who was sitting and smiling as Ed switched the lamps in the room on,

"What is it Al?"

The younger smiled wider,
"We spent so much time in this room…yet I never knew what it smelled like."

Ed chuckled,

"So, how is it?"

"Stuffy…" Al snickered and Ed smiled.

That first night in the hotel took some adjusting, Edward had to get dinner from downstairs for them and he had to monitor Al's eating, the doctor said he shouldn't ingest too much meat, but it was hard cause it seemed to be all Alphonse wanted to eat.

Then there was the fact that there was no support bar next to the bath, so Edward was paranoid about leaving Al alone in the tub and for that reason sat on the closed toilet the entire time his brother soaked in the hot soothing water, he seemed to enjoy the heat a lot.

He had to help Al in and out of the tub and then help him to the room, where he let Al very slowly dress himself while sitting on his own bunk, afterward Edward took a towel and dried his long hair until he was satisfied it wasn't damp, all the while wondering if Al would cut it or leave it long.

It took a few hours to get everything done and by around 10 pm, Alphonse was more exhausted than any day he'd spent in hospital but he hadn't stopped smiling.

He kept saying how he loved the smell of the soap, the feel of the water and bubbles, the stickiness of the steam in the bathroom, how smooth and foamy the shampoo was, he loved having hair too. He loved the feel of his clothes, the smell of the laundry detergent, he'd even loved the smell of the hotel food way more than the hospital food.

Finally after he'd lain down on his bed, he said how he loved the feeling of being tired.

Edward just smiled, so happy that Alphonse was happy.

It was close to 11 PM when Edward emerged from taking a shower, he was tired too and tomorrow would be a long day and the first day of Al's non hospital supervised physio. He'd already read through two full books on the subject that night after Alphonse asked him to take him out of the hospital and he was certain he could do it.

He pulled on a boxer shorts and then a pair of pajama pants and a short sleeve T shirt, the weather was colder this late. He'd bought some long pajama's as well as other clothes for Al a few weeks back, estimating a good size, yet still the clothes sagged on his brothers still to thin frame.

Edward switched all the lights off and laid down on his own bed across from Al's, thinking of everything they still had to over come. He thought about Alphonse's weight gain, it had been so slow all this time, his cheeks were still gaunt, his skin still a greyish hue and his bones still exposed beneath his skin, though much less than when he'd come from the gate, it was still something that worried Ed.

He couldn't wait to see full cheeks on his brothers face, coloured peach flesh skin, maybe he'd even become a little tan like Edward eventually. He imagined Alphonse eating so much that he even got a little chubby, it made him smile. But realistically he expected Alphonse would start his combat training as soon as he was as fit as was necessary to be and in no time, they'd be sparring again.

And Al would once again be than damn inch taller than Ed was.

Things would be good, he had t o believe.

With a goofy happy smile on his face, he turned his head to see Alphonse on the bed parallel, just wanting to see the rise and fall of his brother's side so he knew he was breathing but he frowned when he noticed Al's frame twitching, curled into a tight ball with the duvet pulled over him.

Edward sat up quickly and tossed his blanket off of himself,

"Al?" he got up and walked to the bed, kneeling one leg on it and leaning over his brothers back to try and see his face, "…are you okay, what's wrong?" he asked sounding very worried as he now saw that his brother was shivering.

Alphonse opened his tired eyes and turned his head to look up at Ed,

"Brother…I can't sleep…its too cold." His teeth chattered just a bit and Ed felt a surge of worry and then relief, Al wasn't sick he was just cold, but cold was no good.

He remembered then that this was the first Amestris Autumn night Al was spending outside of a temperature controlled room and being as thin as he is he would undoubtedly be cold. Edward felt stupid for not realising it, but then again, Al had been so warm after his bath he probably hadn't thought of it either.

He nodded at Al,

"You can use my duvet…I'm not cold so I'll be fine." Which wasn't really a lie, although Edward would get colder after his hot shower wore off too, but that wasn't Al's problem.

"But what about you, brother?" Al sat up a little, rolling over onto his other side to look at Ed grabbing his duvet into a bunch and bringing it over.

"I'll be fine, I slept through those nights in the North remember, that was crazy cold…" he laughed as he flared the duvet over his brother.

Alphonse didn't seem any more relieved by Edward's excuse but still shivering he tucked himself into the blankets snuggly.

"Just sleep here…" Al mumbled and his hand patted the spot next to him on the single bunk, "…we haven't slept in the same bed since we were little kids…" he smiled, "…we missed a lot of growing up together."

Even though Al hadn't intended it, he made Ed feel guilty for stealing all those years away.

He didn't bother making an excuse, truth be told, sleeping next to Al would let him sleep better because he wouldn't wake ever half hour to check that his younger brother was still there.

Pulling the blankets back, Edward slipped under the covers and lay on his back while Al lay curled up at his side, facing him and his back near the wall.

He glanced at Al and found his brother staring at him with a smile in the moderate dark,
"Al?" he enquired softly, hearing an owl hoot from somewhere outside and car go by in the street below.

"Thanks…you sleeping close to me will make me sleep better." He admitted and Ed smiled,

"Me too actually…otherwise I'd be worrying that you're gonna dissap…ear." he sighed.

Al laughed quietly,

"That's not gonna happen…your Alchemy is flawless Brother, you brought me back so I know I'm here to stay."

Edward's smile faded, he had assumed Al didn't know what he sacrificed to get his body back, but this confirmed it, still he didn't say anything, he wasn't going to make Al feel bad for something he would do again in a heartbeat.

After another moment of silence Alphonse shivered again and Edward frowned, worried for all the colder nights still to come. He'd have to get a heated blanket or maybe move to a hotel with a heating system.

But for right then, Alphonse being cold was not an option,

"You're still cold huh?" he watched as Alphonse nodded with lazy eyes, "…come here." He gestured for his younger brother to come closer.

Alphonse shimmied closer and instinctually wrapped himself into Edward's impressive body heat, a fully healthy body was much warmer than his own.

Ed remained on his back, waiting to feel Al stop shivering and his breath even out to signal he was warm and when it did he smiled and closed his eyes.

He knew it would be hard, they had a lot more to face in future.

Edward would have to leave the military now that he was no longer an alchemist and oddly enough it saddened him, also he'd have to find a new means of income to support them.

They would have to move back to Risembool probably, which also made him slightly sad since he was accustomed to and enjoyed travelling; he would miss the city too.

Alphonse would have lots more adjusting to do as well, he'd been a out of normal society for so long, there would be questions.

It would be hard, but it didn't matter, not as long as Alphonse was alive and breathing.

Edward's smile lingered as he felt sleep creep up on him,

"We'll be fine, Al…" he mumbled.

After a moment a quiet response came from his dozing brother,

"I always knew we would be, Brother."