Note #1: It took me a stupidly long amount of time to notice that my numbering was off on the last two chapters because I forgot that two drabbles had two version (Water & Sunrise) so the chapter numbers don't correspond to the drabble numbers. The chapters are all fixed so the numbers should be accurate in an hour or so. Phew!

Note #2: Thank you so much to everyone still reading this. I'm sorry it's coming along so slowly. I've finally started writing Fanfiction again so maybe more will come soon (because I've only got two left that I had written before my super long hiatus.)

Note #3: This is a maudlin little guy but he ends hopeful. Hopefully my digression into present tense flows decently!

On We March
#36: Kite

Word: Kite
Season: After season 3, references to 3x12, 3x08, 3x16, 2x14/15
Length: 500

There's a small, blue kite dancing in the sky. Reid's eyes track its movement while the joyous shouts of the kite's young owner echo through the air. The air is warm and cold in that way only spring air can be and a gentle wind rustles through the young man's hair.

His thoughts drift with the wind. He thinks first of Owen Savage. Of a life wasted. He sees laughing faces, Alexa Lisbon's pretty face contorted in mockery among a sea of jeering onlookers. He feels Jordan's misery, Hotch's anger, and the coin in his pocket. The emotions pound at him from all sides, tugging and pulling and leaving an unclear mess in their wake.

As if he'd hit a repeat button in his mind the never ending scene starts again in his head. Lindsey Vaughan screams in his ears, begging her father to kill the teenager. He killed Katie! Ryan begs for his life. The shotgun goes off and blood decorates the wall, a porcelain silence remaining behind.

Reid shuts his eyes then opens them and focuses on the blue of the sky.

The itch crawls through him. His fingers tingle with it. Clamping one hand down on the coin in his pocket, he tries to drive his mind elsewhere, beyond the want and the desire. As with most things, the more he tries not to think of it, the more his mind focuses in. The warmth spreading through his veins and the fuzziness in his brain…but also Morgan's worried looks and Prentiss' hurt eyes.

Beyond him somewhere he can hear Garcia laughing.

He sees her in the hospital, weak and scared. He sees her in her house, jumpy and frightened.

He would kill to forget.

There's so much. So much loss of life, so much blood, so much horror in the world.

He hears the scream as a college student burns to death, he smells the blood as a teenager scared of himself tries to take his life.

He feels the pain and fear he felt each and every time someone on his team was in danger.

He thinks of Gideon, of Elle. Of his father, of his mother.

Deep inside, he wants to gouge out his eyes, block his ears, make it stop.

But he doesn't. He won't give up.

Even if he wants to.

"Reid! Get over here, Kid!" Morgan calls cheerily, unaware of the inner turmoil.

No, he won't give up, he won't give in. Not yet, not while there are still things worth living for.

Stiffly, he stands up from the park bench and turns to where Morgan, JJ, and Garcia sit on a picnic blanket with a basket filled to the brim with all sorts of goodie, courtesy of Garcia. Reid sits down silently and Morgan pulls him in for a sloppy kiss. JJ lets out a soft laugh at the sight as she pulls food from the basket. With his arm around Reid, Morgan makes a comment to JJ and they laugh. Garcia's knowing eyes find Reid's. She understands. She smiles.

He remembers the laughs and the hugs. The smiles and the nicknames. Gentle kisses in the night and a warm body pressed against his.

He nods back at her and she grins before joining JJ and Morgan's conversation. Morgan's chest shakes in laughter against his side.

Reid looks up and watches the small, blue kite dancing in the sky.