A/N: And so, AIADI comes to complete closing. Boo hoo! Poor little insane fic. Never as great as Eskimo Jolteon. (Actually, never even close).
THE FINAL DISCLAIMER: Well, at LEAST I don't have to do any more disclaimers after this…
Person in Audience: You know, I've been sitting in this audience for an ENTIRE year. I haven't even, like, ate or slept… you know?
Different Person: I still go to the bathroom. Without moving from this very seat!
(everyone in audience anywhere near that person moves as far away from them as they can, which means moving their lazy butts for the first time in 365 days)
TCL: How sad it is, that such a fic that is confusing to read but fun to write has to end so soon? On it's one-year anniversary, too.
Person in Audience: You know, I'm like, 363 days late to my hair appointment because of this fic.
TCL: You know, that's too bad. I don't even remember what I was doing 365 days ago… But anyway… I ramble. Who wants to do the FINAL disclaimer? Hmmm… Special chapter means… SPECIAL DISCLAIMER! Duh. Sooo, here to disclaim in their own special way, it's… MR. SIMMONS! The teacher dude from Hey Arnold.
~POOF! Mr. Simmons appears~
TCL: (hands him a script) Just read it. And don't ask questions.
Mr. Simmons: Uh… (starts reading) TCL does not own Pokemon, nor does she own anyone used in her very special disclaimers, including me. She does however own her special plots and her very special green banana she uses to clean the sink every Tuesday night.
TCL: Works like a charm! …But, uh, anyway… Let's get it ON!
~*~*~
(we focus in on the elite four, where an anxious Karen is packing her bags)
Karen: Finally! Working here has earned me enough money to get me on that month-long luxurious cruise to Jamaica! (drools)
(Will is in a similar state…)
Will: Finally! Working here has earned me enough money to at last buy that upgrade from Mewtwo that will increase my Psi powers threefold!
(And Lance…)
Lance: Finally! Working here has earned me enough money to pay back my mom for the time I drilled holes in her kitchen ceiling!
(whatever)
(we focus back in on TCL)
TCL: AT LAST! No more AIADI! No more work! No more poking my brain with a chainsaw trying to come up with more random words and plots! No more wonderful reviews to read! No more wasted space on my diminishing hard drive! (cheers)
C9Y: TCL? When AIADI ends, can I have your studio?
TCL: (offended) NO!
(and this time, we go to Bruno)
Bruno: HUZZAH! THE REIGN OF TERROR HAS ENDED! As soon as this chapter comes to a complete stop, I shall collect my earnings, use them to pay for my high medical bills, and LEAVE AIADI FOREVER!!!
Koga: I'll miss it.
Bruno: (stares) WHAT?
Koga: I said, I'll miss it. I'll miss squeaking at the most inappropriate times. I'll miss the cruel tortures from Corrector9Yui. I'll miss the heavy influxes of weird language that not even I can understand!
(silence.)
Bruno: (slowly) Is that true?
Koga: (brightly) Of course not!
(Koga is packing his suitcase. It's filled up to the brim with magazines, pictures of his daughter, and first-aid kits)
Bruno: You've had it pretty bad, too. Not nearly as bad as me, but… Remember the time we both got hit by a train?
Koga: That wasn't so bad. Only set me back a couple thousand pokebucks to get my spine snapped back in position.
Bruno: What about the costs for your operation?
Koga: To be honest, that made me go broke. But let's try to stay optimistic. It's finally ending! THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER!!!
Bruno: I think we all got the message by now.
~*~*~
Lccorp2: TCL, before we all vanish into the massacre of messes that are our own fics…
TCL: Yeah?
Lccorp2: Can you make a sudden hailstorm?
TCL: (with enthusiasm) really? YAY!
(brings on a sudden snowstorm)
TCL: Let's turn on the news!
C9Y: Fine with me.
PV: Does anyone have any cheese nips?
(Lccorp2 turns on the TV)
Person on TV: Hello. I'm Chet Ubetcha, saying someone put me in the wrong fic category…Again…
TCL: Fairly Oddparents? Whoooops… How'd he get in there? (changes channel)
Different person on TV: If you've seen this red-hatted boy, please contact local officials.
(picture of Ash Ketchum appears on screen)
TCL: That looks like Ash!
Shadow: Big whoop.
Lccorp2: I knew we shoulda killed him off!
Different person on TV (DPOTV): Ash Ketchum is a huge threat to the world around us. Lock your doors and windows. Educate your children with this knowledge: ASH IS AMONG US.
TCL: THE HORRORRRRRRRR!!! (screams and faints)
Lccorp2: (ignores her) What exactly did he do, anyway?
DPOTV: Ash Ketchum was found guilty as charged for stealing the priceless golden bikini, an estimated 60-billion dollar artifact found in the ancient tomb of the Summerbeachbumanian King, Bob.
C9Y: (eyes TV strangely) A golden… bikini?
PV: How can you wear that?
DPOTV: (with stupid look) You can't! AHAHAHAHAHA-
(A second reporter walks up to the first and slaps him)
DPOTV: ahem. So concludes today's broadcast.
(TV flickers and turns off)
PV: Let me get this straight- the final episode of AIADI revolves around the theft of a golden bikini?
Lccorp2: TCL was low on ideas.
(TV suddenly turns on)
DPOTV: This just in! It's actually a golden tankini… Specially designed for comfortable fit! …OWCH! Stop hitting me! Wha-
(TV blurs and fades out)
C9Y: …That was…….. disturbing.
Lccorp2: No kidding.
(suddenly, Ash Ketchum flies out onto the stage, panting)
Ash: I didn't do it! I SWEAR! (lies at C9Y's feet, sobbing) YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME!
C9Y: Hold on, let's check this handy-dandy lie detector. (takes out a toaster)
Lccorp2: (tugs on C9Y's sleeve) Um, Yui, that's a-
C9Y: It's close enough, all right?
(Yui places the toaster on Ash's head)
Lccorp2: …Nothing's going to happen.
C9Y: Sure it will! Wait for it…!
(suddenly, two pieces of toast pop out of the toaster)
C9Y: I TOLD YOU! You have to BELIEVE!
Lccorp2: Right.
PV: And uh, I believe I'm going to be leaving now. Seeya!
(PyroVulpix leaves)
Shadow: Uh, Yui?
C9Y: (takes a bite out of one of the slices of toast and makes a face) YUCK! It's burnt!
Ash: What does that mean?
C9Y: YOU LIED!!!
Ash: What? I DIDN'T STEAL THE GOLDEN BIKINI! IT WASN'T ME! DON'T HURT ME!!! WHAAAAAAAA…
Shadow: Me leaving.
Lccorp2: I concur.
(switch back to Karen)
Karen: Soo… Will, Lance, Koga, Bruno? What are you guys going to do once you leave AIADI for good?
Will: I think I'll retire early, and live the rest of my life in solitude.
Koga: I'll spend more time around the house with my daughter, Janine. We need to strengthen our family bonds.
Lance: I'm going to use whatever's left of my life to study dragons and travel around the world.
Bruno: I'm opening a nail salon!
(everyone stares at him)
Karen: Uh… okaaaaaaaaayy……
Will: (opting to change the subject) What about you, Karen?
Karen: Well, I don't have anything special planned, but…
(takes out a HUGE, HUUUUUUUGEEE list, which mentions what she's going to do every day for the rest of her life)
Will: Wow, Karen! You've got everything figured out!
Karen: Duh! I'd hate to be disorganized… like the men…. And Bruno.
Will: Whatever he is.
Lance: Some twisted freak of nature.
Karen: Let's leave it at that.
(The Elite Four and Lance say their good-byes and go their separate ways… until they get a call. It's the league manager… Uh… Fred. Yeah, Fred.)
Fred: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?? The fic's over, not your term at the indigo plateau!
Karen: …but… my cruise...
Fred: YOUR PROBLEM! GET YOUR SORRY BUTTS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!
(he hangs up)
~*~*~
(and so, the elite four return to their normal, meaningless lives. The authors said goodbye to TCL's AIADI studio and TCL ate cookies for the next ten hours. There's only one issue left at hand. We focus in on Tracey, prancing around a room joyously… In a…)
Tracey: I adore this golden tankini! It's exactly my size, and a comfortable fit!
(his beloved, a sketchpad, watches from afar)
Sketchpad: That's it. I'm changing my name, and taking that indefinite vacation to Taiwan.
[And so… It ends… And everyone is happy again… At least until another author decides to take up the insanity craze…]