Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

Yes, the title is sarcastic. Anyhow, so it was, like, five in the morning and I felt the sudden urge to write crack. So, enjoy:

America sighed, taking a sip of his milkshake. "Oh, burger." He said sadly, addressing his burger because he had no one else to talk to. "It's just not fair! Why won't England just admit to our sexual tension so we can do it like the animal channel?"

The burger didn't comment to this, much to America's displeasure. "Some friend you are." He muttered, taking another sip of his milkshake.

Suddenly, England appeared out of nowhere. "Hello, America." He said seductivly. "You don't happen to have a sex buddy, do you?" The Brit gave him the "sex please?" look.

America smirked. "Let's get it on, British dude!" He used his special hero powers to teleport his sexy uke and himself to a nice, secluded bedroom.

And then they fucked, the end.

Beautiful, right? XD